How can I possibly get my ex to see what he is doing to our daughter, without causing more trouble?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me resolve. I have a beautiful daughter with my ex. We had a messy split, 6 months ago. Although I am trying to communicate with my ex, regarding our girl, I feel I am hitt...
A. 3 October 2013: Thanks for responding. You are in charge of your daughter's environment then. When she's around, show a lot of love, and don't talk a lot about her dad or the fight or the courts.
As for your ex, if mediation went south, then you need to deal ... (read in full...)
Suffering erectile dysfunction. Would it be wrong to encourage my wife to take lovers?
Q. I become unable to perform with a full erection. My wife thinks that I no longer want her and am gay or at least bi-sexual.I get very excited thinking about and talking about her having a sexual encounter with another man. She is using topical ...
A. 3 October 2013: If you have ED, before using it to act out a fantasy regarding your wife and another man, have you gone to a doctor for medical help? And, are you able to masturbate with a full erection?
Otherwise, knowing you have ED, why is your wife using te... (read in full...)
How can I possibly get my ex to see what he is doing to our daughter, without causing more trouble?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me resolve. I have a beautiful daughter with my ex. We had a messy split, 6 months ago. Although I am trying to communicate with my ex, regarding our girl, I feel I am hitt...
A. 3 October 2013: I'll give you my first impressions, but to be more accurate, I need a lot more information here to advise you. Here are some questions:
1. Who is your daughter living with, you or her father?
2. How old is she?
3. What caused the split? ... (read in full...)
I told him I liked him. He said nothing
Q. I told this guy that I had a crush on him. Before I was about to tell him I think he sensed what I was about to say. After I told him he just asked me how long I liked him and I said I don't know. I could not think straight my head was all over the ...
A. 2 October 2013: Ahh, I love Jane Austen!
That being said, I love your courage. You should treat yourself to something nice, and find a couple of friends and hit the town, because you took a risk! Good for you, and you should be proud of yourself.
As for ... (read in full...)
I have to dump my boyfriend... not sure how to move on. :(
Q. I'm needing to "officially" end my 3 year relationship. We're both in our early 30's. I love him but he isn't good for me any longer. He has emotional abandonment issues so every so often he goes "missing" for days or weeks and then comes back like ...
A. 2 October 2013: I hate to say this, but your guy sounds like a fake and a liar to me. He "has abandonment issues" so he takes off for days at a time? His mom neglected and his dad beat him, so he mistreats women and uses them? Yeah, right. Sounds like he's been ... (read in full...)
Former FWB situation--am I just too available for him?
Q. I am love with my best friend. I lived with him for a year and helped him through some tough health issues including cancer. We were friends with benefits and had a great time, playing, laughing, teasing. Then a girl came back from his past and was ...
A. 1 October 2013: If you're in love, you shouldn't be FWB. He is using your feelings for him to get what he wants, and you're going to be hurt a lot worse than you are now. He sounds like a real jerk.
FWB's are for people with NO feelings for each other to use e... (read in full...)
I opened my mouth and got into a situation I don't know how to make right?
Q. I'm planning a trip abroad to celebrate a significant birthday. It's something I've wanted to do for most of my life. I am paying for my partner and two sons who are both in their mid twenties. In a rash moment I said that my sons could bring their ...
A. 1 October 2013: I agree with Cindy here. Whether your son's girlfriends can afford to go or not is their affair. Your sons aren't married to them, and I assume that they're not joined at the hip surgically, so it's possible that one of your sons will go alone. ... (read in full...)
Sometimes my friend is sweet, sometimes he hurts my feelings. I don't know where we stand?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't understand my status with a guy I often hang out with. Honestly, I have started to notice him since late last year. We usually talk over the phone reqarding work matters, but we always lingersa on and chat a bit longer about...
A. 1 October 2013: I'm thinking there's another woman he's interested in. Did you two get sexual, because you didn't mention it, and If you didn't, something or someone else may have caught his eye. He didn't drop you straight out because he might be hedging his ... (read in full...)
Its been 4 years and I don't think I'm over my ex. We go to the same functions. Should I not go?
Q. Last night I bumped into my ex at a function. I am likely to have to see him fairly regularly at these events and I want to go because it's the only place I see a lot of acquaintances but it was difficult. I was dating this guy for two and a ha...
A. 1 October 2013: This 2 1/2 month old relationship that you haven't gotten over, by chance did you lose your virginity to him? If so, that explains what is going on. Many times women get irrationally chemically attached and bonded to their "first", so to speak, ... (read in full...)
He said sex was "alright". what does that mean?
Q. New guy asked me what I think about the sex we had I said it was good/great. His response how he feels was " it's. Alright". What's that suppose to mean? He is the dominate sex partner if it's not good enough he should do more to make it good. I ...
A. 1 October 2013: How new is "new"? Are you in a relationship? Are you friends with benefits? You mentioned he does "change up", so you've had it more than once.
These are things you never mentioned, so it's hard to advise you. If you're not in a relation... (read in full...)
I hacked her facebook from her phone and found she's talking to a guy!
Q. Hello am I 27 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for the past 5 months. We've been having some problems lately. I looked on her phone which I know I shouldn't have done but I went to her Facebook account and looked at her messages and ...
A. 30 September 2013: What was the date of the message you saw from this guy to her?? ... (read in full...)
Am I giving him the wrong idea when we kiss and things? How do I tell him I want a serious commitment before I give him my v-card? How do I know he's the right one?
Q. I want to lose my virginity, but I'm afraid. I love this guy but we're not together, ive known him for some years and we recently decided to start talking a few months ago. I knew from years ago that he was the one I wanted to lose it too, but I wa...
A. 30 September 2013: I agree with Jannie. You can't get physical with him and then expect to stop and want more in a relationship. If you want to save the v-card for a bonafide relationship, then save ALL the physical stuff for a bonafide relationship.
Unles... (read in full...)
I hacked her facebook from her phone and found she's talking to a guy!
Q. Hello am I 27 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for the past 5 months. We've been having some problems lately. I looked on her phone which I know I shouldn't have done but I went to her Facebook account and looked at her messages and ...
A. 30 September 2013: You've had "some problems" in a brand new 5-month relationship when oftentimes, that's the time when couples are annoying the daylights out of everyone they come into contact with their lovey-doveyness?
You hacking into her privacy is more of ... (read in full...)
Why do men stop talking in mid sentence?
Q. What does it mean when a man stops talking in mid-sentence? A few times he has stopped talking in the middle of his sentence.. I do not know if he was trying not to hurt my feelings or he was trying to keep from speaking his true feelings...
A. 29 September 2013: Sounds like you're doing a whole lot of starting and stopping sentences.
Your past shouldn't affect your current relationship. Don't let your baggage sabotage what you have now.
... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: Did you say that you fancy him, as in you have feelings for him? Would you be making yourself up more in order to try to get him to consider more than FWB with you? If so, don't fall for it. You make up for YOURSELF, not him. If you are having ... (read in full...)
He has so little time for me I feel it might be time to break it off
Q. There are a couple of similar posts up here today which is what brought me to this site, but none really sum up my situation properly which is why I am posting too. I am 28 and have been with my 25 year old boyfriend for 3.5 years. He is a m...
A. 29 September 2013: Unfortunately, that's the life of a "starving artist" musician. In order to have a relationship, it has to be an "off-peak" one. However, in this case, your guy seems to have abandoned all sense of balance. He should have made a matching provision ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: You're marred! You should be able to talk about it.
Look at it this way -- would your wife want you to tell her if she were in public and had a piece of food stuck in her teeth? Sure she would!
Likewise, just tell her you love giving oral... (read in full...)
Why do men stop talking in mid sentence?
Q. What does it mean when a man stops talking in mid-sentence? A few times he has stopped talking in the middle of his sentence.. I do not know if he was trying not to hurt my feelings or he was trying to keep from speaking his true feelings...
A. 29 September 2013: Don't say that stuff. The whole "I wanted someone to care whether i lived or died". Come on now. Really?
Those sort of statements are extreme attention-seeking and tend to drain the partners of those who say things like that. That goes in ... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 29 September 2013: Actually, I don't know why I thought of this, but is he taking drugs? His behavior sounds really erratic, and coupled with the fact that he has no job and is letting you pay for him only to go off on you like this, it sounds like he's taking ... (read in full...)
How Can I Help Him Help Me Cum?
Q. I've never came before. I've been having sex since turning 17 4 years ago and not one of my ex' that I had sex with made me cum, nor has my current boyfriend. I find receiving oral (in a way) very ticklish and feel like I can't take anymore but...
A. 28 September 2013: Yep, you need to fly solo. Also, do you know where your clitoris is or what it is?? I'll give you a hint - it is NOT where the penis goes. Most women do not have an orgasm from sex. The vagina doesn't have many nerve endings, thus you need to ... (read in full...)
My home life is hell but I can't leave my mom. My life is not what I want it to be. Help!
Q. This situation at home is making me so miserable I can't stand it anymore. Ok, I'm not a kid, but I can't move out of the house right now (I'll explain). I live in North Carolina with my mum and her adult son (who is a few years younger than me)...
A. 28 September 2013: Hold on a second. You talk as if you have no control over your life. Not true and you know it. I'm a musician as well (keys)...not only could you pick up a really good effects processor for your guitar, but a set of headphones keeps it nice and ... (read in full...)
How to gracefully deal with boyfriend's best female friend?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend's best female friend. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and known him for two years. He met her about a year before he met me. They lived in the same college hall the year before he met me, ...
A. 28 September 2013: I'm a bit perplexed here. Most girlfriends would have more of an issue with his living with a female flatmate, so I'm curious as to why you didn't name her as the one that makes you uncomfortable. If the one living with him is his friend who likes ... (read in full...)
In a relationship, but cannot get married co-worker out my head!
Q. My new co-worker (he's newly married, I might add) is adorable, funny, and charming. He is also a HUGE flirt. I find myself flirting back all the time, though I'm careful as to what I say. And even though I do flirt, at the end of the day, I only ...
A. 28 September 2013: This might help:
Imagine if your boyfriend was constantly flirting with another woman while away from you, asking her how things were going with her boyfriend, and envisioning that he'd love to get her clothes off and bury his penis deep inside h... (read in full...)
What can I do so girls don't think I'm trying to steal their man?
Q. I find it difficult to make friends; as a female I find it even harder to be friends with women. If I consider a person my friend, they become like family to me. It seems that I can't be friends with women because they just end up stabbing me in the ...
A. 28 September 2013: How many gay guys are you friends with?? If you feel more comfortable with guys, they're the ones with the least "other women" drama. As for women, you're making friends with the wrong women. Real friends aren't like that, and I've found women to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to move my child away from the father who has little to do with him?
Q. Should I move for the man I'm falling for? I think I'm falling in love with a man I've reconnected with online after many years not seeing each other. It wouldn't be anytime soon, but I wonder if I could/would move to be with him. The prob...
A. 28 September 2013: Nothing is more important than having a STABLE environment. You shouldn't even let the kid meet this new guy until after at least a year into a relationship. That means, that "think you love" is way too soon, and don't move for the guy.
Also,... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: I don't understand - does she leave it unflushed? Where is your air freshener? I have it in my house to the point where someone could do whatever they want, and it's properly freshened. There is Glade in the bathroom in case it's particularly ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my girlfriend when she's immature and aggressive?
Q. my girlfriend is 18 in a few months and im 20 were at the same college and our classes are close as she does photography and i do graphic design. anyway lately i asked her at college to help me do some photography and she said yes but when we ...
A. 28 September 2013: She's not being the least bit immature. Actually, the correct term is "hard to get". She's playing with you. AND, she has a strong personality, as you know. She helped you and gave you her time when you needed her photography help. How is that ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like it's time to end the relationship?
Q. I'm in a confused situation right now. I feel like things with me and my boyfriend are never going to change. We live together but he works a lot so we only see each other during that day. He texts constantly! From when he wakes up till he goes to ...
A. 28 September 2013: Geeze, he texts other people nonstop when you two are having time together, then lies and calls you bossy? Sounds like he's already checked out of the relationship. I'd leave him, because that writing is already on the wall.
He is with you... (read in full...)
Should I invite my mother wedding dress shopping, even though it will be stressful?
Q. Hi! So my question is probably a little different. Im wondering whether or not I shoud ask my mom to come with me when I go Wedding dress shopping. I love my mom, but we really dont get along. My fiance and I actually live with her, we moved into ...
A. 27 September 2013: Who is paying for your wedding? Is your mom helping with it at all? If she is, and she's living with you, then YES, invite her.
My mom and I fought like crazy the moment I hit adolescence. I left home and felt like I was sprung from jail. F... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 27 September 2013: There's only one reason, and *only* one reason why you would NOT cut off all contact with an ex, and that's when a child is involved. When a child is involved, the contact remains only in the context of raising the child. I.E. coordinating visits, ... (read in full...)
Crush admitted that he kissed me only because he was drunk!
Q. Ok I've been in love with this guy for like 2 years but he's never gown that kind of interest in me, we're just close friends - we can talk about whatever- and sometimes we flirt a little but he flirts with everyone really, anyway we got drunk at a ...
A. 26 September 2013: Leave him be. If he refers to his ex of one week as a "cow", then he is vile. He treated you vile. He gets drunk vile. He would cheat on you, which is vile, and so leave him.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that I'm ready to marry now? Or wait?
Q. ive been thinking of it for quite sometime now... ive been with my partner for 9 long years but have not decided to ger married yet... well he did ask me once 5yrs ago but i told him im not ready yet since then we havent talked about it again... our ...
A. 26 September 2013: GROW A PAIR and tell him! What the hell are you waiting for??? He risked humiliation in front of his entire family. If you're ready, then get over yourself and fricken TELL HIM!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's dad has terminal cancer and we're having trouble. Do I talk to him about things?
Q. I was wanting to have a serious relationship chat with my bf of 6 yrs, about whether he actually wanted to be with me because he never seems that happy and thus I am never that happy. However, we've just found out his dad has lung cancer which is ...
A. 26 September 2013: I'll tell you this straight. Whether or not you have a talk with this guy depends on one thing, and ONLY one thing, and that is this:
What is the goal of your discussion with him?
Do not have this discussion with him unless your only and co... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that I'm ready to marry now? Or wait?
Q. ive been thinking of it for quite sometime now... ive been with my partner for 9 long years but have not decided to ger married yet... well he did ask me once 5yrs ago but i told him im not ready yet since then we havent talked about it again... our ...
A. 25 September 2013: 9 years? Yes, if he asked you a few years ago and you said you weren't ready, then the ball *is* in your court.
He took the risk of asking you, and you should return the favor. If you're ready, tell him! Don't be cruel and hope he asks again if... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I don't have enough experience
Q. My boyfriend told me last night that he is concerned that I don't have enough sexual experience for him to get more serious about our relationship. He is concerned that since I have only been in one other serious relationship that I cant be ready ...
A. 25 September 2013: Run from this guy. Your boyfriend's biggest interest in you is only sexual and nothing else. For him to say that is not usual. In fact, I often hear the opposite, where guys prefer their women to not have a lot of casual sexual experience.
... (read in full...)
"I'll love you even if we break up": why would a guy say that?
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months had a few drinks on Friday and said "I love you, I'll love you even if we break up". He also said he's decided he's too "selfish" to have a child. I didn't engage the conversation because he had been drinking. He knows I ...
A. 25 September 2013: He does not want what you do. If you want marriage and a family and he is saying that he's too "selfish" to have a kid, then his drinking brought out what he believes is the inevitable conclusion of your relationship.
You can't hope to change h... (read in full...)
My "friend" wont talk to me
Q. I talked with my co worker a lot- during shifts, on breaks, and after shifts. It seemed like we were heading down friendship where I got his number and we started texting and stuff. After, it seemed like we were friends, he then suddenly quits the ...
A. 25 September 2013: I'm guessing his life took a turn for the worse. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you.... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 25 September 2013: I've got 'em from pregnancy. My mom had them as well as her mother before her. Genetics play a huge part in that. I don't really care if I have them or not, to be honest.
As for women in porno, I *really* don't want to compare myself to them.... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 25 September 2013: The light just came on with your followup.
Wake up! His "ex" is not his ex. You are the piece of strange on the side. You are the girl he keeps around in case he wants to cheat on his CURRENT girlfriend.
What a complete waste of time. ... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 24 September 2013: You never mentioned which state you live in because the state you live in has a lot to do with your options. Count yourself extremely lucky that you only have to pay 5 years of alimony, because many states award lifetime alimony.
You also nev... (read in full...)
Should I move on or give him some time?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy and he has been a gentleman, very romantic etc. He tells me that he likes me over and over again and that he wants to get to know me. We have kissed and cuddled only. Now my problem/ confusion is tha...
A. 24 September 2013: That's usual to date around until it's time to become exclusive. But it's extremely rare for someone to actually verbalize that fact to another girl they're dating. It's unspoken for a reason.
Actually, his saying that to you reveals his inse... (read in full...)
Does he care about me? He's so busy training!
Q. I am in a new relationship where we have not yet decided if we want to take it real serious yet. We have just been getting to know each other. He has decided to get back into MMA fighting which I don't mind, but his time is going to become consumed ...
A. 24 September 2013: I think if you want to be with an MMA athlete, you must accept this. Training is very cyclical and regimented, usually starting from sunup to sundown. Oftentimes, such intensive training produces a tunnel vision that pushes aside all other ... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 21 September 2013: If there's one thing I can ever impress upon you, it's this:
Never *ever* lower yourself.
If you're just "talking" to this guy and you find out he's still messing with his ex and that's unacceptable to you, then end it then. By you telling him ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 31 May 2013: Oh definitely shower or use odorless feminine wipes. Toilet paper fragments would be really off-putting.
In her case, you should gently tell her about it, because the alternative would be to stop oral sex and leave her wondering what's going on... (read in full...)
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