My period is due when I've arranged to see my fwb
Q. I'm supposed to be going round to my fwb's place this weekend but I'm due my period within the next few days. If it hasn't arrived when I go round should I warn him I'm due on or not mention anything and just hope it doesn't? What do the guys ...
A. 25 October 2013: I wouldn't go into talking about my period, no way! I'd just say something came up and reschedule for next weekend. That sort of thing is TMI for a casual FWB unless he's a gynecologist, and maybe not even then!... (read in full...)
Jealous of my Boyfriend's Past Relationships
Q. Hello I am in a fairly new relationship, about 1 month old. My new boyfriend currently has much more long term relationship baggage than I do. He has dated multiple girls and he was with his ex for two years. I on the other hand barely dated before ...
A. 25 October 2013: That's called retroactive jealousy. You must understand, it doesn't matter how many partners someone has had in the past - everything with you is the first time. Each person is different, so just because he had a past relationship, doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
Drunken horseplay, and nine years later she's openly rude.
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. Thanks for considering my question. Nine years ago, I was the Best Man at a dear friend's wedding. It was a wonderful, joyous and fairly raucous affair. High energy, lots of joking and horsing around, and lots of laughs. ...
A. 25 October 2013: One other thing -- if you feel guilty about what happened 9 years ago, you can clear the air. Just meet with her in her classroom and keep it simple.
"I feel like I want to clear the air here. I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable 9 years ... (read in full...)
Does being civil with an ex for the children's sake ever work?
Q. do you think following a break up, a nasty break up, with someone you have children with, that you can eventually be civil to one another or even be friends? Or will that anger and hate stay?...
A. 25 October 2013: The biggest thing isn't whether you two can exist in the same room together without ripping each other's faces off. The biggest thing is to not use your children to hurt each other. If there's one tiny shred of common ground that you still share ... (read in full...)
Drunken horseplay, and nine years later she's openly rude.
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. Thanks for considering my question. Nine years ago, I was the Best Man at a dear friend's wedding. It was a wonderful, joyous and fairly raucous affair. High energy, lots of joking and horsing around, and lots of laughs. ...
A. 25 October 2013: Ignore her as well. If she's that uptight at you touching her stomach briefly 9 years ago, then she has serious problems. You didn't rape her, grope her, call her degrading names or anything of the sort, right? Actually, on that last bit, I wonder ... (read in full...)
Who calls first?
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle with my boyfriend of over 2 years. We had a big fight last Friday, and since then we've not seen each other once. I've texted asking to sort it out, but he ignored me, then I said I was taking a few days to myself a...
A. 25 October 2013: Are you serious?! He blew you off?? What an asshole!
If he cared about you, he would come over after his shift finished. He's rubbing your face in it now, plain and simple.
I don't advocate breaking up by text, but my response to his ... (read in full...)
I don't feel sexually validated by my boyfriend and have found an online MM in another country who understands me!
Q. Where do I start?! My problem seems so silly but it's got me so confused about what I want with my life. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We're perfectly suited in every way apart from he's just not horny! At all. I've tried so many th...
A. 25 October 2013: Sex once per fortnight?! I would be absolutely climbing the walls! That's like giving a starving man one small carrot every three weeks. It's just not enough for someone with a healthy sex drive.
I agree - you're not sexually compatib... (read in full...)
Who calls first?
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle with my boyfriend of over 2 years. We had a big fight last Friday, and since then we've not seen each other once. I've texted asking to sort it out, but he ignored me, then I said I was taking a few days to myself a...
A. 25 October 2013: I agree with Aunty Babbit on this one. You both fought, and you have already reached out to him to sort it out. Time for you to stop communicating with him. You know why, right?
His silent treatment is his way of punishing you. He is *inflict... (read in full...)
Does FWB never lead to a relationship?
Q. If a man only wants friends with benefits, does that mean he will never want a relationship? I was wondering if it's possible for a man to change his mind and want a relationship with you?. I know a man who wanted friends with benefits with me...
A. 25 October 2013: FWBs very rarely progress into a relationship. In fact, FWBs don't have any logical next step except to either end amicably or end when one person shows feelings and the other runs for the hill for the next FWB.
You may ask "why", right? Well, i... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the silent treatment?
Q. How should I deal with a known narcissists "silent treatment"? He is my boyfriend. This is the second time he has done this in a six month period. He cursed at me about two weeks ago and I couldn't take the abuse anymore and let him know how I ...
A. 24 October 2013: The silent treatment is emotional abuse. It's just as abusive as screaming at someone. He's withholding to punish you for daring to challenge him, and the cursing at you is also abusive too. The fact that this is happening twice in 6 months means ... (read in full...)
He's become distant, can I make him interested again?
Q. I've known this guy for a few months and been very flirty, to the point of sending flirty texts etc. We both admitted to liking each other - however there were a few complications in our way. Anyway these complications got sorted. We started dating ...
A. 24 October 2013: You can't make him do anything! However, if you notice that as he's become distant, you're wanting to run after him more. That's human nature. And, it's possible that unless he's actually gone, you letting him be distant and filling your life ... (read in full...)
How do I explain my time off?
Q. So I decided to take this year off due to complete exhaustion and stress. I've been in school for several years now, and I needed a break. I haven't told any of my friends yet, because in my past experience they have asked nosy questions. I di...
A. 24 October 2013: First of all, I salute you for knowing your limits. I had felt like taking time off as well when I was in college and pulling down a full-time job at the same time.
You don't need to answer at all! "Personal reasons" will keep out most but your... (read in full...)
Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality?
Q. Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality? In a dream you choose to be and do exactly how you wish things to be, while in reality you're forced to accept the hand that is dealt and make it work. Is it cowardice to escape...
A. 24 October 2013: You want the truth? In a word: Yes, it damn well *is* cowardice. And you have it backwards. In a dream, you can't do or be anything, and nothing that happens has any consequence. In reality, you can grab hold of your destiny. It may be hard, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin our friendship over sex. Should I just come out and say it!
Q. There is a woman I used to work with that became a good friend, though we rarely see each other. We're both in our early 50's. I did some repair work on her home a few times. I am separated from my cheating liar wife, she is married. About a year ...
A. 24 October 2013: First of all, you are BOTH married. You may be separated, but you're not divorced.
Second of all, you described your wife as a "cheating liar", showing me that you were really hurt and angry towards her for what she did to you.
Third of all,... (read in full...)
My husband told me he was in love with another woman
Q. I do not know where to even go with this. My husband and his step-sister sat me down and informed me that they have been in love for over 30 years and that they would be together right now except they promised her dad that they would not. My ...
A. 24 October 2013: Really?! I had a feeling he'd have buyer's remorse, but I didn't know it would be *that* fast. One day he brings HER, the three of you sit down, and he tells your marriage is a lie, and the next minute, he's begging you to forgive him, and is ... (read in full...)
My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 24 October 2013: The issue is that they don't want your help to see you. It's a further slap in your face that they weren't reaching out to you, but merely wanted to use you to better their own lives without you. I wouldn't be happy either with their request.
... (read in full...)
My husband told me he was in love with another woman
Q. I do not know where to even go with this. My husband and his step-sister sat me down and informed me that they have been in love for over 30 years and that they would be together right now except they promised her dad that they would not. My ...
A. 23 October 2013: Oh my lord. I am so sorry to hear about this. I think after the initial shock, I'd be angry beyond angry that pretty much the entire marriage was a lie to him.
I don't normally advocate trying to punish someone financially, but I think that in ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going mad because he's convinced I'm cheating on him!
Q. Hi my boyfriends thinks im cheating on him i would never do that ! he keeps on recording me and then he says he can hear me with men, i think he is going mad because i no i have never done anythink and he is sure i am i dont no how to make him ...
A. 21 October 2013: By the way, Othello kills Desdemona in a jealous rage....... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going mad because he's convinced I'm cheating on him!
Q. Hi my boyfriends thinks im cheating on him i would never do that ! he keeps on recording me and then he says he can hear me with men, i think he is going mad because i no i have never done anythink and he is sure i am i dont no how to make him ...
A. 21 October 2013: No way. I'd drop the asshole the moment the word "record" came from his lips. Kick him to the curb.
It's not your job to go wheedling to him begging him to believe you. In fact, someone that keyed up on you cheating usually is cheating themselv... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 21 October 2013: Hee...is this the Round Table of astrology?
If so, I'm a Taurus, and snooping is BULL! :P... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 20 October 2013: Nope, he didn't set that as a trap to catch you snooping. The proof is that he locked his phone and his laptop afterwards AND he didn't back up his evidence. If that were a true trap, it would have been to some co-worker locally who would have ... (read in full...)
Why should I do if my mum doesn't approve?
Q. I'm a 39 ear old guy in Dublin, and fancy 2 women. First woman is 46 years old and lives in London and we have known each other for just over a month now. I have sent her flowers and 2 gifts. The second woman is 39 and lives in Cork, and Ive known ...
A. 20 October 2013: You're 39. At this point, you should be making decisions for yourself and not shaking in your shoes about your mom's approval. That being said, a 7-year age difference is NOTHING, especially at your age. One of my closest friends is 9 years older ... (read in full...)
The hair therapy girl is sexually provocative and hitting on my husband.
Q. I love my husband so much, today we for hair therapy this pretty provocative girl comes n hate that my hubby got amused by her beaty i felt bad insecure n ugly plus im over weight. The girl so tall slim n high heels pretty hair n body i was so dammm ...
A. 20 October 2013: Okay, so you went to see a hair therapy girl, and now you want to kill her? Geeze.
Maybe you should channel that rage into some good P90x workouts. After 90 days, you'll be HOT rage. Seriously, if you're overweight, that can change! Cut out ... (read in full...)
I am a very professional, very good looking woman in a high-powered job, and I have a lot going for me in my life....but I can't seem to stop cheating on my husband!
Q. I can't seem to stop cheating on my husband. I cheated on him before he and I were even married, and I've cheated on him after we were married, and am still cheating on him. I cheat on him with one of my current co-workers on occasion. The co...
A. 20 October 2013: Well, since you have everything so rationalized and compartmentalized and you're not going to stop doing what you're doing until you're caught, let me ask you this:
What if what you're doing causes the breakup of your family, and leads eventual... (read in full...)
My son is asking questions about his absent father, what should I do?
Q. My son, who is 5 years old, has started asking about his dad, and wants to see him. Thing is when the relationship ended, it ended really really badly. He hasn't seen his son for a long time, when he left he made the decision to walk out on me A...
A. 19 October 2013: I really like Janniepeg's answer. Not much more to add to it, but I wanted to reiterate her point - the information is age appropriate and tailored to his question.
Your ex was violent and abusive? Was that to you, or what? Does he have an ... (read in full...)
How does one turn their emotions off?
Q. How do people keep from letting their heartache effect them? Better yet, how do people NOT have heartache? I know alot of scientist types... and I love their logic and how organized they are compared to me, but the thing I envy the most is how ...
A. 19 October 2013: Trying to turn off your emotions can have devastating consequences. Especially if that emotion is grief. The best way to deal with it is to let them happen, and if you're going through your day and your emotions threaten to overwhelm you at an ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? My boyfriend wants to add his boss' girlfriend on facebook.
Q. I need some advice so I don't turn this into an argument between my bf and I. We've been together for 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. We don't live together but do spend weekends together and any days during the week if we can find time ...
A. 19 October 2013: These are one of those messages where I wished that he were here asking instead of you, because I would advise against it on the grounds of professional boundaries. He would be possibly exposing himself to the suspicion of his boss if he were to ... (read in full...)
Is this classed as cheating..has he learned his lesson?
Q. Hi I need some peoples advice on a situation because I feel myself going crazy! I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years, all was going great up until summer of last year... I noticed he started acting really strange at the end of s...
A. 18 October 2013: I agree with Honeypie. HIV is spread when fluids come in contact with fluids. Was there deep kissing? Petting? Masturbating by rubbing penises together? It doesn't have to be anal sex to be cheating. The fact that he received sexual ... (read in full...)
New girlfriend is friends with recent lovers. Feels bad to me.
Q. New relationship-about 5 weeks. We are both in our 40s. Recently, she went out with an ex-BF who she briefly dated, but didn't work out, but continued sleeping with, most recently a few weeks before she and I met. She told me after the fact t...
A. 18 October 2013: I agree with mr. toyboy. A 5-week relationship is very very new. It is in its infancy. If you both have established exclusivity, that means she shouldn't be out having dinner with guys she has sexual history with. A relationship should start ... (read in full...)
The relationship is great -- except for his psycho ex
Q. I am very much in love with this man and we are engaged to be married in a year. He treats me wonderfully and we are best friends. The only issue is the mother of his child hates that we are together and has drawn a wedge between us. She is violent ...
A. 17 October 2013: Hold on a second - if she's being arrested for assault, why doesn't he go to the courts and sue for custody? If you have evidence of being stalked and threatened, why not file a restraining order against her?
If her behavior is this erratic,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't approve of male roommate
Q. I found a perfect apartment that has the perfect location , amazing price, and what seems like a great roommate from Craigslist. Only problem, my boyfriend absolutely hates the idea that I want to move in with a guy who I barely knew. I understand ...
A. 17 October 2013: I hear what CindyCares is saying, and on a trust side, it makes sense. However, in this case, I see it as a boundary issue.
Living with another guy, just the two in an apartment, has a level of intimacy that isn't in a workplace. Being with a g... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: The thing is, he's shielding his assets from her. That does not fly in a marriage. But there is something I didn't think of last night either, so I actually want to amend my advice.
I think if you're investing money in something, do it in a per... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't approve of male roommate
Q. I found a perfect apartment that has the perfect location , amazing price, and what seems like a great roommate from Craigslist. Only problem, my boyfriend absolutely hates the idea that I want to move in with a guy who I barely knew. I understand ...
A. 17 October 2013: Really? You're really angry with him because he objects to you moving in with another man?
What if he moved in with a Playboy centerfold? Another woman, and then lashed at you because the house was the "perfect house"? Honestly, you being ma... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: Here's the thing. You didn't sign a prenup, and now you're married. The fact that he's refusing to disclose his assets to you doesn't mean a thing in court. He's bound by the rules of marriage, so don't sign anything. If he gets pissy and ... (read in full...)
Lingering guilt about how we got together
Q. Four years ago my fiancee and I got together in a not so good way......his relationship with his wife was going down hill (so he told me) and she was also seeing someone else....at this point we were work colleagues who crossed the line and started ...
A. 16 October 2013: There really isn't anything you can do, except learn to live with yourself and him. As they say, you can't unscramble the egg, or unring the bell.
You started the relationship by cheating, well he did, and that destroys trust from the onset. ... (read in full...)
He says his sub character came out and started chatting to his son's girlfriend! Does he have mental issues?
Q. ive come accross something that i dont understand, maybe someone who is good and understands phsycology might be able to put some undertsanding to this type of beahviour. Will try and be as brief as i can, im left completley confused so here it ...
A. 15 October 2013: You've gotta get out of this, and fast.
Your boyfriend is cheating on you.
His son's girlfriend is cheating on his son with your boyfriend.
His son is cheating on his girlfriend, who is cheating with your boyfriend, who is cheating on you. ... (read in full...)
He says his sub character came out and started chatting to his son's girlfriend! Does he have mental issues?
Q. ive come accross something that i dont understand, maybe someone who is good and understands phsycology might be able to put some undertsanding to this type of beahviour. Will try and be as brief as i can, im left completley confused so here it ...
A. 15 October 2013: You don't need a psychologist. You need someone who will knock some sense into you and WAKE YOU UP to how disgusting and skeevy your boyfriend is!
He betrays his own SON by messing with his girlfriend!
He blames that horrible quasi-incestuous... (read in full...)
He says he has "proof" even when he doesn't. Need help, fast!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We're in our early-mid 30's. Every once in awhile he will accuse me of cheating and claiming he has "proof" when I know he doesn't. This morning at 7am he text me and asked me who the hell I was texting. I ...
A. 15 October 2013: Listen, his behavior is setting my teeth on edge. He has some sort of obsessive nature in him, and I'd get away from him because his actions show a level of toxicity that is not good for you.... (read in full...)
Do I need help to get over my depression and my huge crush on a dead rock star?
Q. So here's my problem... There is this guitarist who I absolutely adore, and I feel as though my love of him is starting to become an issue for me. My taste in music is somewhat bizarre, and he and his former band are the only people who have eve...
A. 15 October 2013: Thank you for your post! I remember you from last year! I'm so glad that you were able to find your way. I'm sure you're far from "arriving", but you channeled it into making the world a better place through your music.
All my best to you!... (read in full...)
I think I might have caught him in a lie ...
Q. This will probably sound ridiculous but I need opinions! My partner and I have been happy together for 3 years. Last night he gave me a lift to a friends house for some drinks and as we were in the car I noticed his car ticked over to 10,000 miles ...
A. 15 October 2013: I'm going to be devil's advocate here.
You saw his Odometer click to 10,000 miles when he was on his first trip to take you to your friend's house, right?
Then if I'm understanding this correctly, you were there drinking for a few hours, and t... (read in full...)
Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 14 October 2013: Be careful. "short and platonic" all of a sudden means his wife or girlfriend has discovered you. I'm guessing she caught him, but he's still wanting some sex, so he's sneaking communication with you to keep the link. Think about it - he's ... (read in full...)
Do I need help to get over my depression and my huge crush on a dead rock star?
Q. So here's my problem... There is this guitarist who I absolutely adore, and I feel as though my love of him is starting to become an issue for me. My taste in music is somewhat bizarre, and he and his former band are the only people who have eve...
A. 16 October 2012: Glad I could help! That's what this site is here for!... (read in full...)
Do I need help to get over my depression and my huge crush on a dead rock star?
Q. So here's my problem... There is this guitarist who I absolutely adore, and I feel as though my love of him is starting to become an issue for me. My taste in music is somewhat bizarre, and he and his former band are the only people who have eve...
A. 15 October 2012: Not a problem! Music is the greatest of outlets for these kinds of things, but I freely admit that I'm very biased when it comes to songwriting and composing.
You're right about phases or strong emotions bringing out the most creative and mean... (read in full...)
Do I need help to get over my depression and my huge crush on a dead rock star?
Q. So here's my problem... There is this guitarist who I absolutely adore, and I feel as though my love of him is starting to become an issue for me. My taste in music is somewhat bizarre, and he and his former band are the only people who have eve...
A. 15 October 2012: You don't need help unless you feel yourself becoming obsessed over the guy to the point where it's interfering with your life, causing crippling depression, causing unhealthy obsession, or whatever.
We all tend to connect with certain entertai... (read in full...)
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