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I hate being part of a list,but all the boys of my age don't want more

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi guys.

I have an issue i need some advice on!

Over the weekend i was at a festival and kissed this guy. We spent e whole night together and he was really sweet. I kind of knew it would be a 'one night thing' (we didnt do anything more than kiss) but now i cant stop thinking about him.

I know him quite well and he is best friends with my other best friend.

Part of me kind of hoped that he would get in touch after but nothing, and i found out that he got with other girls prior to me at e festival- something im mot complaining about but it made me feel really weird- i cant handle being part of a boys 'list' of girls that he got with.

Its really bothering me and i cant stop thinking about it/him and hoping he would contact me.

I think what im asking is. Should i talk to this guy? Not?

I dont know how to make myself feelbetter aboutthis situationand whether its the thought of himk cant stop thinking about or actually him.

I always feel like this after kissing a boy, like a made a big mistake and i was wondering ifthis was just me...

I know notmuch ofthis makes sense but i just need some advice please!

View related questions: best friend, kissing

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (31 August 2013):

YouWish agony auntOf course it makes sense! I know exactly why you feel like you have made a mistake and why you can't stop thinking about this guy either. Here's why:

You are the type of person who is more suited for relationships than casual physical contact. You want to kiss a guy who is into you and you alone. You want to build a relationship and date someone. You are suited for monogamy.

This means that casual kissing, physical touch, or casual fun feels wrong after it happens. That's okay! It's common, and you don't have to make yourself be the type that just plays around casually.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013):

You are not on any kind of list. You happened to kiss a boy who claims he kissed other girls. He can't even prove he kissed you. He could be making it all up to impress you.

All anyone knows is what he says. Only you and he know what really happened. If he goes around bragging about it; then you don't really need to be around him anymore.

You have to learn that you can't get boys to stick around, just because you kissed them. You have to let them get to know you before you do anything.

Let him spend some time with you first, then you can give him a kiss. If you give them what they want too soon; they'll take it and run. Expect boys your age to talk. It's because they're immature.

If you want to do mature things, then you have to be able to handle it. If you can't, stop.

Let boys prove to you that they like you before you kiss them. Kisses on the cheek don't mean anything.

Be sure a boy has already spent plenty of time with you to prove how much he likes you, before you kiss on the mouth and make-out.

If you're afraid a boy will talk about you, if you give him what he wants. Think first before you do it.

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