Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: By the way, I'm not trying to be mean, but didn't your fishing and sucking up and seeking male attention get you into this mess in the first place??... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: A male reader, mkateko +, writes (25 June 2013):
A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 June 2013):
A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013):
A male reader, Serpico +, writes (11 June 2013):
A male reader, Sageoldguy1465... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 9 July 2013: I'm sorry, but why are you here then? We're not qualified to be your therapist, and it's become clear at least to me that you need professional help instead of an anonymous advice column. We can only give advice, but if you won't, don't, or can't ... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 8 July 2013: How to stay strong?
Go tell his wife. I guarantee that his squirming and verbal degrading of you to her would strengthen you in a hot minute.... (read in full...)
Uneasy over his lack of interest in condoms
Q. Is it a red flag if my boyfriend doesn't want to use condoms? (We use them for intercourse.) Am I likely to get a sexually transmitted infection/disease from giving fellatio if no semen is present? Background: I have only been in two...
A. 3 July 2013: For one, if you've only been dating him for a month, you hardly know him. You say he's had a very active sexual history, right? There may be STI's that even *he* might not know he has, and if he's as careless about unprotected sex, and furthermore ... (read in full...)
Could it be that my friend has abandonment issues from the past? What can I do, considering she may take her cheater back, again?
Q. I'm concerned for a friend she is totally paranoid her boyfriend will cheat on her and after losing her father to alcoholism related disease I think she has issues. Two years ago there was evidence her boyfriend cheated on her but he wormed his way ...
A. 3 July 2013: So it was Reason #2 then. I usually see this when the cheater lies about being single, and the other woman is as innocent as his girlfriend.
In this case, sadly, when confronted by empirical and unassailable evidence, there are a few women wh... (read in full...)
Could it be that my friend has abandonment issues from the past? What can I do, considering she may take her cheater back, again?
Q. I'm concerned for a friend she is totally paranoid her boyfriend will cheat on her and after losing her father to alcoholism related disease I think she has issues. Two years ago there was evidence her boyfriend cheated on her but he wormed his way ...
A. 2 July 2013: So there's another woman that told your friend that her boyfriend has been cheating, and that she's the other woman? The first thing that would come into my mind would be to tell your friend to tell this "other woman" to prove it.
There... (read in full...)
Why are my siblings turning their backs on our mother now that she is sick?
Q. DearCupid,I am a middle aged young woman who put her life aside because I have one living parent and now she is slightly sick she's a diabetic and had to have her legs taken off she also have other health issues going on.I am not the only child I ...
A. 30 June 2013: Listen, your mom is in a very vulnerable place right now. She lost her legs, and no doubt about it, you are a hero for being there for her.
But as tempting as it is to adopt a "us against them" martyr stance, you can't feed into it, or you will... (read in full...)
Ex with benefits, is there more into this than I am realising or not?
Q. I am confused. My ex boyfriend who dumped me 3 months ago has phoned me once a week why? no idea. Anyway he invited me around to his place for lunch and he cooked me up a lovely roast and we had a chat etc then ended up having sex. We did have a ...
A. 30 June 2013: "Are we doing the right thing using each other?"
You couldn't be in a more unhealthy situation if you tried.
He dumps you, but wants to have sex with you, meaning you're not good enough to love, but good enough to get him off. You're with him ... (read in full...)
What can a pregnant women do to keep her husband to pay more attention on her?
Q. I am pregnant for twelve weeks now, my husband is chatting on the internet with a married women who have a baby already. They talk about everything which makes me really jealous. No matter is day or night, my husband will wait for this women on ...
A. 29 June 2013: At 12 weeks, there isn't much that you're showing. It's also not an assumption that a man loses interest in his partner once she gets pregnant. In my own case, I *felt* unattractive the more pregnant I got, but my husband surprisingly wouldn't ... (read in full...)
My B/f keeps interrogating me about my past and if he were to ever find out I have lied, he will end things. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and he is te type of person that just about interrogates me about guys in my past. I have nothing to be ashamed about and have only been with one person before him. He always asks about stupid things ...
A. 28 June 2013: This is not about you lying. This is about him suffering from retroactive jealousy. He is obsessing over everything you've ever done in your past before you met him.
Tell him that he needs to stop the intrusive, obsessive questions. You told... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 28 June 2013: Wake up!!!!
You wrote your initial post on here because you know it's a huge red flag! Women have flushed their lives down the toilet by excusing and overriding red flags like this. It's a DEAL BREAKER! It should always be a deal breaker,... (read in full...)
Is this normal? Or am I just having a really good orgasm?
Q. Hello! I have a question. I'm a 23 year old male and when I orgasm, my body seizes up and causes me to not be able to move much afterwards. It is not painful, but my penis becomes EXTREMELY sensitive (enough to cause me to post about it! Lol) a...
A. 28 June 2013: That's normal! Some people actually pass out after a good one. Others cry, or make weird faces, or lock up like you do.
As long as there's no pain, strange discharge, or anything else abnormal, you're fine!... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable about what happened, should I bring it up or pretend it never happened?
Q. Hello cupids. Last night a family friend asked me to spend the night at his house, his mom whom Im very close with wanted me to stay as well because it would be fun.. I am twenty two and thought it would be a little weird since he is sixteen. He a...
A. 27 June 2013: So he groped you while you were sleeping?
That is sexual assault. Since he's 16 and a minor, tell his parents. I'd be pressing charges on someone groping me in my sleep. He's not your husband, nor a boyfriend, and feeling you up while you are ... (read in full...)
Do women get wet panties without physical stimulation?
Q. Women do you get wet panties - in a sexual sense - without getting physical? By this I mean without someone physically stimulating you. Several years ago a girl I was friendly with came round to my flat and had a quick shower after work.W...
A. 27 June 2013: I don't think I've had problems with "dribbling" and 'sticky", but yes, I've had a physical response to what I see, and surprisingly what I smell. I've always felt turned on by a really good smelling guy.
What you described, with the stickine... (read in full...)
Why wasn't I enough? Why is this girl already in his heart the way I once was?
Q. I used to jump from relationship to relationship, until I learned that you need time to breathe and be alone in between. After an especially drawn out break up, I decided to spend one year single. Although it was difficult, it was also the most ...
A. 27 June 2013: Yuck, the guy's a walking dysfunction. It's not about you being "enough". It's about him being "immature".
He started a relationship with you, hot and heavy. Then a lot of fights broke out during the first year. Then he ditches you. Then he ... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 27 June 2013: Listen, I think you've gotten to the point where you need to involve your parents, because him calling people and railing about you *is* stalking behavior. He's invading your friends' lives to defame you.
You don't have to mention the one nigh... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 27 June 2013: You're not being naive. This sort of thing doesn't fall under the "he should be able to have female friends" clause in a relationship.
Women who were former lovers, former crushes, or he's ever had feelings for her are disqualified from being pl... (read in full...)
No longer sexually attracted to my husband! Should I leave him?
Q. I'm 24, and married to a 25 year old. When I first met him, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and same with him to me. We dated for a year, then got married when I was 21 and he was 22. He still feels just as attracted to me as when we met, eve...
A. 26 June 2013: Hold on now, slow down a minute here.
You've been married for 3 years, and your husband is sweet, caring, kind, treats you well, and doesn't lack in personal hygiene or upkeep?
I may need more to go on, but from what it sounds like, is that yo... (read in full...)
I'm feeling rubbish about myself because I can't get my girlfriend to orgasm!
Q. I'm good at getting girls off and always been very confident about it. My new girlfriend acts just like the others getting closer and closer until its like she's about to orgasm when she pushes me away saying everything is too sensitive. I'm used to ...
A. 26 June 2013: Don't feel bad! Every woman is different, and some women are too sensitive from direct clitoral stimulation! Without phrasing the question "What did the other guys do to you that got you off?", ask her which techniques (make it about the ... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 26 June 2013: Yeah, press charges, you have pictures of your injuries!
The health risks are pretty extreme with a bite that breaks the skin. And don't be friends with him, because the first thing I thought of when I heard both the assault AND his reason f... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: Wanna hear my opinion???
Your ex's opinion, his demands, his thoughts, his wants, and his influence means NOTHING to you in terms of what you decide to do from the moment you broke up with him until now.
You are NOT a whore, and you've done ... (read in full...)
Is the purpose of sex to orgasm or to feel close and intimate with your partner?
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and recently started having sex with the guy that I'm seeing (he's 21). I lost my virginity to him, but we have only had sex about 3 times since that. Before we had sex, he would play with me down there. Now he doesn't, I think ...
A. 26 June 2013: ""But that's alright, loads of females don't cum or orgasm when they have sex, but the act is still pleasurable, us having sex still feels good for you and me both""
Bwahahaha! Is he for real? I'm guessing that if it were him that didn't h... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: Reference to the first thread:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fooled-around-with-a-married-man-last-night.html... (read in full...)
Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!
Q. I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...
A. 26 June 2013: I remember your other post. I was on it.
I have doubts as to your remorse, because you sounded this way before, and then as time went on, you started becoming defensive and saying that you were the one using him and all that. I hope you have... (read in full...)
Married for 20 years and been feeling alone for the last 5! Is it time to get out?
Q. Another night of being ignored. Together almost 20 years, and feeling alone for the last 5. I have gotten the excuses "I need to be in the mood (emphasis on I)".....I'm too tired, the proverbial headache, yet her addiction to Facebook and gam...
A. 25 June 2013: Oh absolutely -- the anti-anxiety medications are absolutely notorious for trashing libido. It would make sense that she loves sex, but feels averse by it. Anti-anxiety meds, for good measure, will not only impair sexual desire, but also sexual ... (read in full...)
I'm not looking for anything serious but I don't want to be lied to
Q. My fiancé and I have decided to part ways 3 months ago. We were together for 10 years. We argued way too much that the love and respect slowly faded. I am not ready for commitment at all, but wanted a little distraction. I recently started ...
A. 25 June 2013: It's been 10 years since you were out on the dating field, and I'm sorry you and your ex called it quits.
However, when you tell a guy that you're not interested in a relationship, that you're just out for a good time, that you're wanting a little... (read in full...)
Married for 20 years and been feeling alone for the last 5! Is it time to get out?
Q. Another night of being ignored. Together almost 20 years, and feeling alone for the last 5. I have gotten the excuses "I need to be in the mood (emphasis on I)".....I'm too tired, the proverbial headache, yet her addiction to Facebook and gam...
A. 25 June 2013: Do you know if she is taking any prescription medications? Many sntidepressants, blood pressure meds, anti-anxiety, and opiate painkillers have the unpleasant side effect of taking a hatchet to libido. Lack of exercise and a diet high in carbs and ... (read in full...)
Should men stand up and get involved for their partners?
Q. I have a question about men standing up for their partners. My husband today told me a story about a woman at a wedding who was being picked on by another female guest. The woman went on and on but the lady who was being picked on's husband did ...
A. 24 June 2013: Caring Aunty A brought up a fantastic point. There's a very different dynamic when it comes to family. My husband's parents (specificly his mom) originally didn't like me, though when all was said and done, her dislike had nothing to do with me, ... (read in full...)
We have been dating 8 years and never had sex because of pregnancy fears
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we have never had intercourse. We are ready to, but we are freaked about getting pregnant because we have both always been so serious about attaining our high degrees in school. In high school i...
A. 24 June 2013: If you're already on birth control, then what is the problem? I kinda don't believe you that this is a fear of pregnancy. If that was the case, why are you on birth control then already?
I think there's more to it. I think you're not sure he'... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says that she has put a barrier up. How do I get through it to her?
Q. Hi there , my girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months . I we've fallen out a few times and she's said I need to make more time for my friends etc . She tells me that she has put a barrier up and it will take time to get that back down . We ...
A. 24 June 2013: No way. She doesn't get to play that game, just because you two had a falling out doesn't mean she gets to emotionally punish you until she feels better. Mature relationships do not work that way.
I have to tell you, at 6 months in when the rela... (read in full...)
He watches porn every time we have sex!
Q. Why does my man of 4 years watch porn every time we have sex? Is there anyone else experiencing the same thing?...
A. 24 June 2013: Yikes! Yes, I have heard of that before, and I can say with certainty that it's because he's addicted to porn. He uses it to the point that regular sex doesn't stimulate him enough. Like the addict, he became desensitized and must have more and ... (read in full...)
Should men stand up and get involved for their partners?
Q. I have a question about men standing up for their partners. My husband today told me a story about a woman at a wedding who was being picked on by another female guest. The woman went on and on but the lady who was being picked on's husband did ...
A. 23 June 2013: There is only one instance when I'd want my husband to stand up for me, and that is if another man started groping me or physically attacking me. Otherwise, I'm pretty strong. If another woman tried to pick on me, I'd verbally reduce her to ashes. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose him, but either way I surely will once my B/f finds out about my wild, reckless past. What do I do now?
Q. When I was at university, I was a little wild. I had quite a few one night stands and had a fling with another girl. I even had a few threesomes, and swapped my boyfriend with a another girl ,who knew what I was like and was open sexual too, for a ...
A. 23 June 2013: I think you should be honest about your sexuality, because you're either compatible or you're not. He should have the choice, and yes, he may decide that he would prefer a woman who reserved sex for committed monogamous relationships.
But y... (read in full...)
After 4 years silence and no support, my son's dad and his family want to get involved .... how should I handle this?
Q. I had my son when I was 17 and his father has never been around. We were not in a relationship, it was more friends with benefits. I wasn't surprised he didn't want to play a part but I was hurt. I struggled like mad, and only this year have I been ...
A. 23 June 2013: I think in this case, you cut off your nose to spite your face. Your actions regarding cutting off your son's biological family are not in the best interest of your son, and in fact could damage your relationship with him down the line as he gets ... (read in full...)
Will therapy help me to learn to trust?
Q. I've just started seeing a therapist as I am suffering from anxiety (chest tightness, nausea, stomach pain, diarreah). Unfortunately all of my energy has been focused on my boyfriend of 9 months. I was emotionally bullied for many years as a child, ...
A. 23 June 2013: I *love* to see posts like this on here!
First of all, the fact that you are writing this shows that you're more self-aware than most people with issues like yours, and that's half the battle right there!
DEFINITELY stay in therapy, because... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 23 June 2013: HTFM -- but here's the thing...I would agree with you if she was caught in a lie and was deliberately misrepresenting herself. Absolutely I would! But that is what you're assuming here.
However, I read the OP's post, and it sounds like wha... (read in full...)
He texted me five weeks after the break-up -- why?
Q. So I broke up with my ex boyfriend about 5 weeks ago. We were together for 4 years and he texted me for the first time after 5 weeks of not talking and said "someone made me think of you today. Hope you're doing well, I'm doing great:)" what am I ...
A. 23 June 2013: I got the same impression Dorothy Dix did -- why did he need to put that last line of "I'm feeling great :)" in if not to try to get back at you? It read to me like "haha I'm over you" with all the grace of picking your emotional scab.
You a... (read in full...)
If I'm feeding my boyfriend 2-3 times a week and thus spending more on food, wouldn't it be okay for him to help out cleaning more or to pick up the tab when we go out more?
Q. I have something that has been bugging me and I don't know if I'm justified or not to be bugged by it.... Me and my boyfriend have been together for four months. Im 23 he is 25. Outside of the very first date we split everything, all of our dat...
A. 22 June 2013: The cleaning part? No. He's your boyfriend, not your indentured servant. If you start parcelling out cleaning to him, that's a good way to lose him.
However, the picking up the tab part is a good start. What would be even better is -- before h... (read in full...)
Am I using him? Am I worthless?
Q. I want to know if I am out of line. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now he has three kids and I have three . We only have four of the kids living with us because his two older children are adults. I work four months of t...
A. 22 June 2013: If your children's father is paying child support, then what is this guy's problem? I too am intrigued that this has come up after 6 years of marriage and how many months or years of dating before that. Something has triggered this, either some ... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 22 June 2013: Exactly. No guy ever has an attack of morality followed by a sudden deletion. He was caught by his wife, and now his life is hell...as it should be!
If he was lying about his name and you can't find him, chances are...he could have bought a... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 22 June 2013: You two were in an ACTUAL affair, as in seeing each other face to face??
I change my mind then. He didn't do this because you were moving, because he already was seeing you in person. Oh, this guy was BUSTED. His wife caught him and has him ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he show me some respect instead of leading me on?
Q. I don't mean to be angry/bitter but I was dating this guy for four months, the first two months we were not doing anything physical we would just hang out, go to the movies, have fun then after the second month we slept together, after we slept t...
A. 21 June 2013: One more thing -- BLOCK him off of your Facebook and delete him from your friends list.... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he show me some respect instead of leading me on?
Q. I don't mean to be angry/bitter but I was dating this guy for four months, the first two months we were not doing anything physical we would just hang out, go to the movies, have fun then after the second month we slept together, after we slept t...
A. 21 June 2013: I hope you've learned your lesson on this major point..
You said:
"then after the second month we slept together, after we slept together I had the talk with him about a relationship and that I can't be just friends with benefits with hi... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 21 June 2013: So let me get this straight -- he led you to believe for the past 6 months that he wasn't married, and then he suddenly "confesses" in an email, only to disappear after you told him you were moving close to him?
The guy is a grade A slimebal... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 19 June 2013: Serpico, that's what I'm afraid of. And that's the real tragedy...a good marriage with a good woman who was never disloyal to him and loves him with all of her heart will get flushed down the toilet due to RJ.
What is an even bigger tragedy ... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 19 June 2013: Anonymous male reader, Respectfully, I think you misunderstood my post.
My point was this -- why is he disgusted with the details of her past sexual history, when unless he himself was a virgin who had never dated before, his own sexual history ... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 18 June 2013: Were you a virgin when you met her? Did she tell you that she had never touched another man before you became intimate with her?
The only way I would sympathize with you is if she told you she was a virgin and you found out she lied to you afte... (read in full...)
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