Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 23 June 2013: HTFM -- but here's the thing...I would agree with you if she was caught in a lie and was deliberately misrepresenting herself. Absolutely I would! But that is what you're assuming here.
However, I read the OP's post, and it sounds like wha... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 22 June 2013: Exactly. No guy ever has an attack of morality followed by a sudden deletion. He was caught by his wife, and now his life is hell...as it should be!
If he was lying about his name and you can't find him, chances are...he could have bought a... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 22 June 2013: You two were in an ACTUAL affair, as in seeing each other face to face??
I change my mind then. He didn't do this because you were moving, because he already was seeing you in person. Oh, this guy was BUSTED. His wife caught him and has him ... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 21 June 2013: So let me get this straight -- he led you to believe for the past 6 months that he wasn't married, and then he suddenly "confesses" in an email, only to disappear after you told him you were moving close to him?
The guy is a grade A slimebal... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 20 June 2013: "Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?"
I think that looks good on a fortune cookie, or in one of those "Inspirational Quotes" booklets. But I think it's a trite and limiting... (read in full...)
Why did I find condoms when I cleaned up his room? Was he cheating?
Q. Me and my bf are together about 3 years. First 2 yrs was in the distance, I was in Europe, he in America. About one year we are living in same city, but not together yet. In fact we don't have a time to meet often, we are both working to save money ...
A. 20 June 2013: Anytime, C. Grant! :)... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he wouldn't simply deactivate these accounts!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend left his email open on my laptop once, and already having had previous trust issues we are working on, and have been getting there, I couldnt help myself cast an eye....(the previous problem was him trash/sex talking with a '...
A. 20 June 2013: You mean to tell me that you both have been together for 2 years, and you snooped through the last 2 years of his emails digging for whatever you could find in there, and found that he opened dating accounts when you first started dating 2 years ... (read in full...)
He keeps breaking up my relationships, I'm in love. I need to stop him!
Q. There is this guy who I am completely inlove with but everytime we start dating he just stops talking to me and then months pass and he comes back and then he leaves again and that just keeps happening. I told him im tired of him doing that and that ...
A. 20 June 2013: You don't have a true protective order against him, because if you did, if he showed up or called you, you could call the cops, and they'd jail him for violating the order. Anti-stalking laws have seriously tightened, meaning if he calls, there's a ... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 20 June 2013: Good, I'm glad you did a check on him, and that he has a connection through your dad. It's concerning that he keeps asking YOU if you need money. Loaning, gifting, asking for money can kill a relationship.
GO VERY SLOW. Seriously, even if he lo... (read in full...)
Cancelled wedding...but can we sort this out and stay together?
Q. where do I start..my fiancé told me 8 weeks ago he wanted to cancel our wedding. He didn't do it. We thought we could work on our differences and see what came about. We were due to get married in seven months. I feel like he has not made any effort ...
A. 20 June 2013: I think the writing's on the wall here, to be honest. Both of you should be past the whole immature flaky stage, and you already know there are red flags that shouldn't be overlooked, and even his cancelling the wedding should be considered one. ... (read in full...)
I don't like feeling like a maid, or taken for granted. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. Just a question about cohabitation: My boyfriend works 50 hours a week, and I am currently unemployed (but looking) I contribute economically, and do all the cooking and cleaning except for one night where he makes dinner. Usually he does his ...
A. 20 June 2013: You contribute financially. You aren't indentured to him. You contribute equally to cooking and cleaning, meaning he and you split the care of the house 50%. If you were college roommates, the amount of money you make wouldn't determine the chore ... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 19 June 2013: Serpico, that's what I'm afraid of. And that's the real tragedy...a good marriage with a good woman who was never disloyal to him and loves him with all of her heart will get flushed down the toilet due to RJ.
What is an even bigger tragedy ... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: iAmHereToHelpYou was reading my mind! I read your post and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
First of all, SLOW WAY DOWN. You may not want to hear this, but church, especially revival sessions, are perfect environments for guys... (read in full...)
He keeps breaking up my relationships, I'm in love. I need to stop him!
Q. There is this guy who I am completely inlove with but everytime we start dating he just stops talking to me and then months pass and he comes back and then he leaves again and that just keeps happening. I told him im tired of him doing that and that ...
A. 19 June 2013: You get him to stop talking to you by deleting him from your email, texts, Facebook, and any other social media he's on with you. You also block his phone number from your phone, barring him from calling or texting you.
Before you do that, te... (read in full...)
Where is the blood coming from?
Q. Hello! I'm 22 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for quite awhile. While we were on vacation, we were having sex much more frequent than what normally happens at home. YAY! On one of those days it was kind of rough, and later on when I ...
A. 19 June 2013: Ahh, the sexual equivalent of RUG BURNS!
I agree with the others here -- if you're having near-constant rabbit-sex, this isn't anything to be alarmed about, especially if you had a rough session. Our lady business is delicate!
However, if y... (read in full...)
I made a mistake and it hurts so much I don't want her to leave me
Q. Thank you for reading... I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 years and we are very happy together. We have always been good but she left me last week and i can't see what to do from here. I was at a party a few weeks ago and there were a...
A. 19 June 2013: Duplicate post:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-gf-left-me-over-a-silly-mistake.html... (read in full...)
Can elocution lessons really change a person?
Q. I haven't seen my friend in 3 months since she was at university, having seen her I was very taken back by her voice. Turns out she did online elocution lessons to lower her voice a bit and speak properly over the months, even when i saw her she was ...
A. 19 June 2013: Oh absolutely! I didn't do them myself, but I have a good friend who was studying journalism in hopes of getting into broadcasting. Here in the US, just like in the UK, there are different regional accents, from New York to Boston to a Southern ... (read in full...)
Why did I find condoms when I cleaned up his room? Was he cheating?
Q. Me and my bf are together about 3 years. First 2 yrs was in the distance, I was in Europe, he in America. About one year we are living in same city, but not together yet. In fact we don't have a time to meet often, we are both working to save money ...
A. 19 June 2013: Heh, One more thing I forgot to mention on here that might put your mind at ease here, and to tell you the truth, I'm in a weird mood, and I want to play with this post for a second. I wouldn't do it if I actually thought your guy was up to no ... (read in full...)
Why did I find condoms when I cleaned up his room? Was he cheating?
Q. Me and my bf are together about 3 years. First 2 yrs was in the distance, I was in Europe, he in America. About one year we are living in same city, but not together yet. In fact we don't have a time to meet often, we are both working to save money ...
A. 19 June 2013: You forget -- most of us girls have to put up with a lot that men don't have to (pregnancy, menstruation, PMS), but being a woman does have some good advantages, and one BIG one is not making a huge mess when we choose to uhh..."fly solo". heh. ... (read in full...)
We're using each other for sex so why are my friends so against him?
Q. Ok, I've been sleeping with this guy on and off for just over a year. When it all first started out he had a gf, so as you can imagine my friends don't have a very high opinion of this guy. I know it was a crappy thing to do but I didn't care, it ...
A. 19 June 2013: Your friends are against him because he is a low down disgusting trash bag cheater. If he mistreats the woman he professed to have feelings for, how much more will he mistreat you?
The fact that you are "confused" means you're gonna get shattere... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 19 June 2013: Anonymous male reader, Respectfully, I think you misunderstood my post.
My point was this -- why is he disgusted with the details of her past sexual history, when unless he himself was a virgin who had never dated before, his own sexual history ... (read in full...)
My gf left me over a silly mistake... what should I do from here? We love each other!
Q. Thank you for reading... I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 years and we are very happy together. We have always been good but she left me last week and i can't see what to do from here. I was at a party a few weeks ago and there were a...
A. 19 June 2013: Listen, I'm calling you out on this one here:
This wasn't some one-time thing. You made it sound like there was some girl who randomly liked you, so it was a spontaneous random event. You can't fool me for one second.
You've been letting thi... (read in full...)
He needed a break and doesn't want me back.
Q. I have been split up with my ex 7 weeks today and I just can't seem to get over it! I've seen pictures with him and other girls and its really getting to me! I have phoned him and asked him if he is with someone but he said its got nothing to do ...
A. 18 June 2013: I think at this point, you need to change your thinking from "a break", which implies that he's taking a short and temporary sabbatical to "break up", meaning things have been over between the two of you for 7 weeks.
Up until 7 weeks ago, you HAD ... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 18 June 2013: Were you a virgin when you met her? Did she tell you that she had never touched another man before you became intimate with her?
The only way I would sympathize with you is if she told you she was a virgin and you found out she lied to you afte... (read in full...)
He's the only one I'll ever love. How can I find a way for us to be together?
Q. My heart is broken. I'm so afraid that I've lost hope of winding up with the person I know in my heart is for me. I love one of my closest friends, and I know in my heart that I'll NEVER love anyone else like I love him. I'm afraid that he's...
A. 18 June 2013: Oh I agree with SVC in this one here.
You are in a very unhealthy place right now.
You said this:
"Please don't tell me to find another guy becaus I'll never love anyone else. I know God made him for me and my heart is set on him."
If yo... (read in full...)
Friend has given me an ultimatium--either be his girlfriend or we no longer talk
Q. I'm really close to my friend who told me he wanted to be more than friends about a year ago. Initially I said I didn't feel the same way and we tried to carry on as we had been before, talking everyday but I was seeing other people. Since then ...
A. 18 June 2013: Heh, I've never known any good and healthy relationships to ever start from an ultimatum "Be my girlfriend or we aren't talking anymore".
You can't be friends with him. He's tortured because he is UNABLE to be mere friends with you, and sinc... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: If you really mean what you said, then the very fact that you're hard on yourself will help you here. It's the feeling that you're experiencing now that will protect you.
Everyone makes mistakes. The good people learn from them. You messed u... (read in full...)
She is projecting her eating disorders on to me. Why would she do something like this?
Q. I'm truly at a loss at the moment. My girlfriend just told me tonight randomly through a text that I've gained a lot of weight since we met and that she's worried about my health. That she felt she needed to tell me. Thing is, I'm almost 100% ...
A. 18 June 2013: Listen, bulemia and anorexia are mental diseases. At the core of them is seeing fat that isn't there.
Your clothes don't lie. Your scale doesn't lie, and the doctor doesn't lie. Do not take personally the statement of a woman who would se... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: Okay, I *have* to say something else here.
While most of Atsweet1's post made me want to launch my laptop out the window, there is one thing she said that actually was true, and as soon as I take some migraine medicine and yank the ice picks I ... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 17 June 2013: You can forgive yourself by telling yourself and him that it was a big mistake and that it will *never* happen again. Tell him that if he attempts to touch or kiss you again, you will inform his wife, and that you will never become involved in any ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's weird relationship with his 2 grown daughters disturbs me
Q. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his grown daughters. They are 20 and 25. He allows the younger one to drink in our home when she is driving. He roughhouses with the older one and sometimes will intertwine his limbs with hers when they are ...
A. 17 June 2013: How long have you been with your boyfriend? Did you say "years"? Why is this now coming up if you've been in a long term relationship with him? I could see you getting a bit uncomfortable if you just now started dating him and saw this ... (read in full...)
Gave him oral sex, he cumed quickly after around four minutes what does that mean ??
Q. Last night i gave oral sex to my boyfriend. i sucked his dick. We've been talking for a while and we recently made it official. So I'm not sure what he's done when we were "just talking". Last night when i gave him head , he told me i was good. ...
A. 17 June 2013: That sounds normal, and probably means you're good at it. Don't overthink things unless he blew his wad before you even got started or something like that!
Also, what is official, besides the fact that you gave him oral? I hope he's reciproc... (read in full...)
His ex is back -- should I even try to compete with her?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and before we were together he was with his ex girlfriend for 7 years, she broke his heart. When he started dating me, she said all kinds of really nasty things about my appearance, and that he could do...
A. 17 June 2013: Actually, *you* allowed her to come back into his life. You're so busy believing that you come up short in comparison to her that you lost sight that he's your boyfriend, and that his texting her, dating her, continuing a relationship of any sort ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refriended his ex. Do I believe the reason he gave me?
Q. So boyfriend refriended his ex on Facebook a couple of months after unfriending her because I had asked him to. I had insecurities about her even though they broke up about two years ago. He says it was weird that he unfriended her in the first ...
A. 17 June 2013: My opinion differs some from my respected colleagues here.
I believe that exes and romantic interests should be disqualified from continuing contact.
He shouldn't friend his ex UNLESS you are okay with it. If you're not okay with it, he shou... (read in full...)
Why did my husband leave me after 6 years of marriage?
Q. Why did he leave me? My husband left my son and I after 6 years of marriage. He wanted his freedom and to be able to do as he pleased. He was having "the grass is greener" issues. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and generally not a good...
A. 17 June 2013: He may have left you, but he can't leave himself. He has to take part of the problem with him into every new relationship. As for you, self-improvement and self-criticism are useful tools, but you're so busy focusing on your wounded ego to ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my girlfriend because she's overweight?
Q. Should i cheat on my GF? I know its wrong and everything, but i have been talking to this girl lately and i feel i have a connection with her, like its crazy how similar we are. Im not 100% sexually attracted to my current gf, she is over weight, ...
A. 17 June 2013: You said this:
"Im not 100% sexually attracted to my current gf, she is over weight, thats not me being nasty, i mean medically she is over weight"
Actually, you justifying betraying, cheating, and devastating her because she's overweight *is* ... (read in full...)
What is love really meant to feel like?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 6 months. This is my first relationship and basically I had no experience prior. In the first few weeks I felt like I was in love, but I thought that it was probably an infatuation and because she's my ...
A. 16 June 2013: First of all, saying "I love you" at the 2 month mark is rushing things. Love and infatuation are two different things, and you probably felt pressured to return the words she was so eager to tell you. Many couples are only now at the 6 month mark ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 15 June 2013: So he admitted it?? Then don't make him suffer. Make him GONE!
I'd be more upset about my so-called BEST FRIEND having sex with my boyfriend! You're putting your head in the sand here by trying to gloss it over and pretend that things can go b... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex at this point and this upsets my girlfriend
Q. i have more of a circumstance that i'm unsure how to address rather than just a question. my girlfriend and i have been together for nearly half a year. casually we engage in physical activities but not sex. i can tell just by the way she suggests...
A. 14 June 2013: First of all, I want to make it clear that you shouldn't feel pressured to have sex until YOU are ready to do so. No one should ever press you into doing anything that you're not comfortable in doing.
I wanted to lay that foundation so that wou... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: How much were you all drinking??
I'd be willing to bet that we're talking "blackout drunk" territory here. I've seen a zillion stories about people who get blackout drunk and do things like that as well as embarrassing public behavior, car acci... (read in full...)
Is it abnormal for my 20 year old girlfriend to sleep in the same bed with her mom regularly?
Q. My girlfriend is 20. We've been together for two years. She told me something that totally caught me off guard and when I think about it, it seems somehow wrong. We were talking about our parents. She was telling me some happy stories ab...
A. 14 June 2013: I don't see a problem with what she said to you. I'm not one for stereotypes, but many girls go through a period of emotional "growing pains" when it comes to their relationship with their mothers. As young and middle adolescents, it's often that ... (read in full...)
Husband stays out until 4 am..........and wonders why I am upset about it
Q. My husband went out last night with some work colleagues for a work dinner. He said he would be home in a few hours. Well, he came home at 4 am this morning drunker than a skunk, no keys and lost his $700 cell phone and had the nerve to ask me this ...
A. 13 June 2013: Yeah, I have a couple of thoughts!
First, tell him to get a cab back to his car. He shouldn't be coming home at 4am rip roaring drunk on a work night anyways. That's the sort of thing alcoholics do!
Second, trust me, getting slobber drunk is... (read in full...)
Should I pay to lose my virginity?
Q. Hello I've been thinking about this alot recently. I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl; nor have I been on a date. I'm not handsome in any classical sense, and I'm a big husky guy. Not to mention, a giant geek (read comic books etc)...
A. 13 June 2013: Sorry, but maybe natural selection makes your body able to retain fat a bit easier than other people's, but your health and well being are the result of your environment and your choices. Natural selection doesn't account for laying back eating a ... (read in full...)
Can skinny men protect their women?
Q. I am dating a guy who is 6ft 4 and thin.I have not been dating lanky men since i was in sixth form.but he is just so different. However. my mum who I am very close with has mentioned I might get bored or feel unprotected as he is not muscly in bu...
A. 13 June 2013: Your mom is absolutely off the mark on this one. A thin guy can be just as much of a protector as anyone else. Thin can means agile and fast. The best guys in my TKD class growing up were nearly toothpicks, and they could kick the teeth out of a ... (read in full...)
| *ouWish's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ouWish has
added them and they have added *ouWish!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
