A
female
age
30-35,
*uestionWhatIWantToKnow
writes:I've never came before. I've been having sex since turning 17 4 years ago and not one of my ex' that I had sex with made me cum, nor has my current boyfriend.I find receiving oral (in a way) very ticklish and feel like I can't take anymore but I've never had the sensation of an orgasm or physically cumming.Tried using toys before and during sex, changing the positions and different paces obviously.What else can I try and do to help me cum? As well as what can I do for my boyfriend to help him, help me cum?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 Yep, you need to fly solo. Also, do you know where your clitoris is or what it is?? I'll give you a hint - it is NOT where the penis goes. Most women do not have an orgasm from sex. The vagina doesn't have many nerve endings, thus you need to concentrate on your "satin nub", look up a picture of where it is.
Also, with oral sex, it shouldn't tickle if it's done right. Sucking on the clitoris shouldn't be done unless it's an advanced move and requires full arousal with swollen clit. Have him start by using his tongue on your clitoris - a beginner move for both of you would be for him to slowly write cursive letters from A through Z without taking his tongue off or breaking contact with your clitoris and surrounding tissue. It would also help for you to learn Kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor. You do that when you're not having sex by starting and stopping the flow of urine when you're going to the bathroom. Start going, then stop the stream for 5 seconds, then start, then stop, 5 seconds, then start. Many women after a couple months of Kegels every time they have to go to the bathroom find that all of a sudden, there are orgasms.
Also, one last thing -- detachable shower head with controllable variable stream. Use that "down south" to find out the parts of you that feel good. Start with a gentle stream, and then experiment with different strengths and types of streams (i.e. massaging stream, gentle stream, strong, etc.).
An orgasm building is very hard to describe, and no two people will describe it the same, but you'll feel a buildup of feelings deep inside. Doing the Kegels (clenching and unclenching your vaginal muscles) while you're experiencing the stream will cause the intensity to build. It may feel like you have to go to the bathroom, but much deeper inside, and more intense with every breath you breathe in deeply. You'll feel the beginning of a pleasurable throbbing feeling with that deep-inside buildup, with every breath, every clench, every tiny change in the water stream as you slowly let it run along your clitoris/vaginal wall. It will keep building in intensity, and this is the part where you must not stop the stimulation. Then, all of a sudden, that pleasurable throbbing will become much more intense as all of that neurological build up breaks through and the pleasure suddenly flows through your body, making your fingers tingle and your toes curl and your cheeks flush as your mouth opens in sheer ecstasy at the pleasure that throbs and shoots through your body from the epicenter of your clitoris. *That* is an orgasm, which will last between a few and several seconds until slowly subsiding like a receding wave on the shore. You will not have to ask if you had an orgasm. Believe me, you will know. Your clitoris may become sensitive afterwards, and it may not.
When it's receded, and your body feels that sense of release and sublime well-being that can only be described as an afterglow, you will never ever forget how that felt, and you'll know what to do to repeat the activity. But DO IT ALONE. There's nothing that will kill experimentation like having to worry about the ego of a partner and his lack of knowledge about your body's inner workings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): Personally I agree with other posters that you should really try masturbation more. If you don't know how to give youself an orgasm, it's really almost impossible to expect any one else to give you one! You may well learn a lot about your own sexuality through the process.Physically, thre are many different positions for women to masturbate, some women use hands, others pillows or vibrators, it's about what works for you. Mentally, your mind is key to masturbation. If you're not turned on mentally then again it's impossible t achieve ogasm. What turn you on? Have you ever let your mind wander sexually? You could always try reading erotic fiction to get your mind flowing.Good luck
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A
female
reader, QuestionWhatIWantToKnow +, writes (28 September 2013):
QuestionWhatIWantToKnow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, I do masterbate however it doesn't do anything for me which is probably why I find it a problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013): You have to learn to masturbate my dear. You can masturbate during sex as well.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (27 September 2013):
Dear OP,
Do you ever masturbate? I would suggest that you try different ways to make yourself orgasm with your hands. Maybe this will take some practice. I guess you could find some instructions about masturbation online, although I never checked. If you know what to do, you can show it to your boyfriend. Personally, I never come from penetration alone, I need some constant play with my clit at the same time. And for oral, I'm very sensitive so I can't stand it if someone is sucking too hard on the top of my clit. I need some more sensitive action and slow motion. Hope this helped a little..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 September 2013):
 Make YOURSELF orgasm, when you can do that SHOW your BF how you do it and let him have a go at it.
I would NOT go with inserting toys but use the vibrating ones on your clitoris, because insertion does nothing for you (which is normal for most women anyhow).
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