A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend is 18 in a few months and im 20 were at the same college and our classes are close as she does photography and i do graphic design. anyway lately i asked her at college to help me do some photography and she said yes but when we did it as i asked her to model she controlled everything that i shouldve controlled. shes a fiesty charachter and she always tries to get her own way more often or not she gets it and she knows she can get it. the other day I slept at hers and her mum was in and she was really horny but we didnt have sex cause her mum was in butwe dry humped as she really enjoyed it and got turned on alot but i though i was teasing too much but when i stopped she didnt want me to stop. Anyway the day or 2 after i slept at hers again and this time we did have sex (free house) but we both teased then i was ready to but she kept teasing more as we were in the missionary position (still partly clothed) and i tried to kiss her but she moved her legs so I couldnt and kept doing it even when we were naked she did it and I was getting really pissed off as i was ready to walk out as it was really immature. ive told her about it before but shes kept on doing it and it really annoys me! cause she initiates she wants to have sex but then does this. I love her so much and couldnt live without her its just every now and then this immature side comes out and im even watching what I say cause shed do this "jokey" thing were she wont let me touch her or talk to me cause shes taken it wrong way as a joke. i know shes still 17 for a few months but i feel like i could do something that could end us and i don't want us to end its the last thing id want. but i don't want to say change this change that cause she wouldnt be her then im just not sure what to doshes immature, loud and sometimes aggresive(tickling constant) what do i do to cope with her when shes like this?
View related questions:
horny, immature, teasing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 As a matter of fact, I have instead read carefully your post, word by word, as I do with any other post, but unfortunately that does not change my opinion : which is , clearly, ...who says you have to cope?! If you want to stick around and get tickled teased and variously ridiculed, that's your choice . It must mean that you get something out of it. Every pleasure comes with a price tag in life, so, if you think she is worth it, just pay the price and cut the bellyaching.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): Have you thought that maybe she is nervous about having sex with you? I come across as pretty confident and am one of those loud and brash girls on the outside, but I remember with my first boyfriend when I was 17, I would do a lot of 'teasing' because while I did want to have sex with him, when it came to that actual moment of penetration I would get scared and act coy and tease him and not let him in to try and cover up how I was feeling, even after we'd been sleeping together for a while. I'd be thinking too much and worry I wouldn't be any good or he wouldn't like it etc. etc. etc. so I'd leave him in a horny mess to keep my ego in check...After a while I relaxed and would let myself go and wouldn't worry or try and control the situation. I think she is a controlling person and having sex with someone is pretty intimate and she doesn't like being vulnerable with you. I think your girlfriend IS immature, but not in the way that you think, not for the actual teasing itself, more the reasoning. Just carry on, she'll get bored of it either way after a while.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy do i even post on here? When everyone who answers hasnt read what ive said thank you all for wasting your time
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (28 September 2013):
I agree with IAmHereToHelpYou. I remember too your previous post, - last time too most people was saying oh she is just so adorable, she is just being playful- what can I say , I see it differently: I think she IS being annoying , rude , overbearing and totally a ballbuster. If you 'd think with your brain instead than with your dick you'd had dumped her bossy ass a while ago.
To some extent, I agree with YouWish about the sexual part, you sound a bit unsophisticated as a lover ( at your age it is very understandable ), you treat sex a bit like a washing machine cycle, once you have switched the machine on, then it has to end always in a certain way through certain steps within a certain time, if it goes differently it feels "wrong " and it throws you off. Learn to seduce a woman, to make HER want you, to make HER ask you - be a bit more playful yurself, -more sensuality and less raw horniness.It's not all about coming.
Then again, the way you describe her, I'd bet all you want that most of the times she is not being horny ,and she does not even feel like being intimate AT ALL- it's about power, not senses- the fun of the game is precisely giving the boy a nice powerful hard on, taking him just to the brink - and then leaving him high and dry, panting and confused, haha poor schmuck.
How do you cope ? Frankly, I would not bother to cope, a joke is a joke when BOTH people can laugh , otherwise it's just bullying. But, since I guess you won''t follow this kind of advice , ( and you'll be happy to let her use your testicles to make herself a nice pair of earrings ) you can try to sit her down for a serious talk, and renegotiate the basic rules , in short, specific terms ( like : no tickling ever ,- don't just say " you are loud and aggressive "). Don't moan , just calmly state the ( few , please ) things that you will NOT put up with because you hate them and they are not funny for you.
Then , if she should do it again, you can be sure that she does not give a fig about what you like or dislike, it's all about her.
You can give her a bit of leeway, though, being that she is still so puppysh, a couple of relapses are inevitable . So, the first time she tickles , or yells at you etc. - you just up and leave. Not angry or confrontational or anything. . Simply, there are games you won't play, jokes you won't be the butt of, and if they happen- you remov e yourself from the premises at once.
That should get the message through also to a thick-skulled girl in just a couple of times.
On the other hand, if she does not get it in more than a couple of times- reactivate your upper brain and call it quits. You are supposed to be a boyfriend, not a ragdoll .
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 She's not being the least bit immature. Actually, the correct term is "hard to get". She's playing with you. AND, she has a strong personality, as you know. She helped you and gave you her time when you needed her photography help. How is that immature?
Sounds like you are hung up on age, or you wouldn't dream of calling her immature. What is it you want, some lifeless stump who rolled over, opened her legs to you, and had all of the personality of a sex doll? Not a chance. You both are sexually active, right? How do you turn that playfulness into spice? I'll tell you how - you need to get serious game, because *you* lack skills in bed. How do I know this? I'll tell you:
If you had real skills when it came to lovemaking, you'd know how to tease her in bed to where she would offer no resistance. Don't be so predictable. Don't be so ready to be sexual. Be slightly hard to get yourself. Don't just jump on her and dry hump her like a dog with a pillow. Dry humping is kinda immature anyways! heh. Learn some real tantric sex and karezza, and she won't know what hit her.
Not only that, but stop treating sex like a microwave oven. If she was *really* turned on, she wouldn't block you. She knows you're trying to drive yourself to penetration and orgasm, treating everything else as obstacles that are in the way. So she's throwing up some because she's onto you, boy.
As for the tickling, actually I'm on your side on that one, because I hate being tickled. You'll have to keep telling her that you don't want to be tickled, and when she does it, just disengage and get distant and she'll get the idea. However, have you tickled her? If you have, then you have nobody but yourself to blame for that one.
Seriously though, get some game in the sex department, because just reading about you dry-humping and missionary position is putting me to sleep. Otherwise, be lucky that she is initiating sex, even if it is to tease you. Just scroll all over DearCupid and you'll read about guys upset that their girlfriends aren't wanting any.
Other than that, what the hell is this? "but i feel like i could do something that could end us".
"Do something"? What does that mean? That's a really weird thing to say, and that in itself is immature. What would you *do* besides just break up with her? Threaten her? Cheat on her? If you're thinking of cheating, then you don't deserve anyone. If you unload on her and get pissed and start calling her names and putting her down hoping she'll break up with you because you hurt her, that's the epitome of infantile immaturity. Grown-ups don't "do things" to end relationships. They break up face to face like a man.
Let's put things plainly here. You and she are in a power struggle. You are controlling, and so is she. In sex, you were doing things that excited her, and when she was excited, you stopped, then you wanted to go and she moved her legs to stop. Sounds like both of you do the same thing to each other. Do you want power in sex, or do you want to please her? Also, if she's helping you with photography, why say that she controlled everything and you should have? Why not make it a true collaborative effort? I'm a musician, and sometimes when I write, I collaborate with others. I've learned that when you give someone parameters, then give them freedom, the dual effort is stronger than you micromanaging them. Trust me on this one.
George Patton said of leading others "Don't tell someone how to do something. Simply tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their ingenuity".
Don't call your girlfriend immature. Aggressive, sure. If you don't love her and want to break up, do it like a man. However, up your bedroom game seriously no matter what you do. During sex, withdraw slightly...kiss lightly, caress her, show restraint, and you won't see her blocking you at all with her legs.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): Stop calling her immature; because she's being playful.
I don't get what you're complaining about. She likes to tease you, because she knows how to push your buttons. She gets her way; because she knows how to manipulate you, and that makes her smarter than you give her credit for.
Sorry, my friend; but she IS acting her age. If you want someone more mature, find someone your own age or older.
She isn't 18 yet, and still has every right to be playful and a tease. Most of your complaint is centered on her not upping the sex when you want it. Well, it's her vagina and she can give it to you when she's good and ready.
She's a handful; but sounds like a lot of fun. Don't get mad at her, because she gets the best of you. Maybe that's what you really like about her. Come back when you have a real problem. Chill out, dude!
...............................
|
