How common is it for women to have sex because they think it will help "catch" a guy?
Q. I realize this is a very broad question, and every woman is different so there's no single "right" answer, but I'm curious what people's general thoughts are? To what extent do women have sex because they think it will help them catch a guy? I r...
A. 27 September 2011: First, I think the whole "women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex" is a flawed statement, because it implies that love and sex are not expressions of love, but merely the tools for the bartering of services.
Also, in my opinion,... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 26 September 2011: Retroactive jealousy? Maybe.
Insecurity? Definitely.
You are worried that you don't measure up to either him or his ex, and that had she not dumped him, he would still be with her.
First of all, there's no "amount" when it comes t... (read in full...)
I'm the last one to be told anything about his plans. Do I end the casual relationship we've got going?
Q. There's this guy I've been seeing. We aren't official, but have spent the last month and a half or so together. Not long ago I found out, via a mutual friend of both me and him (a friend who does not know we are seeing each other), that he plan...
A. 26 September 2011: You complain of drama, yet you're causing it. What business do you have contacting his ex?? If he's in steady contact with her, your relationship is over.
You're casually dating, meaning your intimacy is not at a point where you're going st... (read in full...)
She never invites me to her home any more. Why does she only suggest we "get a room"instead? What's going on?
Q. Let's say you are in a relationship with woman where is has been off and on for years and have been to her place before, in the beginning. but now she moved and told you "she brought a house" and I live out of town but every time I come into town...
A. 26 September 2011: The answer is found in the "on/off" status.
When a relationship is on and off over and over again, there's no certainty, and you can't assume that a relationship will grow and build properly if it's being interrupted and injected with uncertai... (read in full...)
I left in the middle of the night after sex, now he never wants to hear from me!
Q. Hey everyone, about a month ago I started seeing this guy and he was an absolute sweetheart to me and things were going well... Anyway, last night we went on a date and we planned that I would stay at his house for the night. We had sex multiple...
A. 26 September 2011: It's plain and simple. You hurt him pretty badly. He thought he had a budding relationship, and you took off like a thief in the night with no explanation, not even a note or an email he could read in the morning with an apology.
What's puzzling... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm cute and funny but he said he doesn't want a girlfriend!
Q. I am in 8th grade and I've had this crush on a guy for about 4 months. He hasn't really showed any interest in me ,but my friends catch him staring at me when I have my back to him all the time. We used to text eachother all the time, but lately not ...
A. 25 September 2011: He's really young! He really isn't ready for a girlfriend. Guys at that age are either about to reach puberty or have just reached it.
He's not ready, and you might not be the one he likes. I'm guessing he doesn't like anyone yet that way... (read in full...)
Should I just stick to my gut about ignoring him if there is contact?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into an argument like 2 weeks ago, said we weren't going to see each other but we ended up seeing each other and getting back together.We have been going out for 4 years now. Anyways, I'm confused and annoyed and angry because ...
A. 25 September 2011: How in God's name does ignoring someone ever fix a situation? No way, no how. Do you think that by ignoring him, you will get what you want, he'll all of a sudden interpret your silence correctly, come to where you are, apologize in all the right ... (read in full...)
How can I know that my virgin girlfriend is really ready for sex?
Q. My gf and I met through mutal friends, I knew she was a virgin and planned to stay that way until she met`the perfect guy`` before we started dating.I am 23, she is 21. Its been over a year (14 months) and I respect her decision about sex. I will ...
A. 25 September 2011: I agree wtih janniepeg. Your girlfriend not only sounds virginal, but quite sheltered. It's hard to break religious and societal taboos if they've been taught since childhood.
In your girlfriend's case, she got hit with you looking at porn wit... (read in full...)
He is such a tight-wad in everything. Should I stay or go? It bothers me that he thinks women are after his money.
Q. I am a 46 years old woman. I've met this man 16 years older than me after my divorce. He is a wealthy man with his own house and car and still earning a good income. Im in a low paid job and just earn enough to support myself. I've got my own h...
A. 24 September 2011: You've been together three years. I think this is less about his money and tightwaddishness and more about where your relationship is headed. You live in separate homes, which is okay, but it sounds like you'd like to be headed towards marriage or ... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my girlfriend!
Q. I've met a fantastic woman, she is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet with a heart of gold... doesn't sound like much of a problem does it? The problem lies in attraction, I met her from a dating site, we hit it off immediately as we are both of ...
A. 24 September 2011: This one's ironic. Your ex and you had sex like rabbits on meth, yet she's your EX. Now, you have absolute spiritual and emotional perfection in a woman, but zero sexual attraction.
You'd be doing her a favor by breaking up, because I have abs... (read in full...)
Trying to get together with her but I don't want her to think I'm hitting on her!
Q. On starting university a girl who is something of an acquaintance has come up to my hometown. I wouldn't say that I was overly interested in her at present (I don't know her well enough to make that judgement) what I would say is that we think and ...
A. 23 September 2011: Love is a risk. The risk you take of the total elation of being accepted, or the sting of being rejected.
I admire your tactic of trying to see her under the guise of friendship, but you're tearing yourself up because while approaching her as f... (read in full...)
Emails and texts with sexual innuendo, should I be upset or is it harmless?
Q. My fiancee lives with me. He sometimes sends emails to his ex girlfriends with sexual inuendos. Should I be upset about this or is it harmless flirting/banter. He doesn't tell me about the messages and I have asked that he does. I have also see...
A. 23 September 2011: You should be upset. What business does he have playing around sexually with his exes? Why is he still in contact with them? That's outrageous. And strange women?? Hello, this guy's been single far too long.
He's not ready for marriage... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, now he wants me to pay
Q. Hey! So, cheated on my bf and I know it was bad and all. So, please, please, please, no judgment. Trying to win him back. He says he loves me, but his trust is gone. Then he came over to my place tonite and tried real hard to have sex.I refused cos ...
A. 23 September 2011: That's just it. There's no excuse for cheating. It's horrible, and you devastate the person you're cheating on, whether married or in a committed relationship. It isn't a "oops, my bad" moment.
I think the reaction here isn't sympathe... (read in full...)
is it right for coaches to deny his players the freedom to love?
Q. I am in love with my girlfriend who is in my country's national under-21 football team. She's 19, the captain of the team, and is the only out lesbian in her team. According to her, several of her team mates are closeted lesbians but they are afraid ...
A. 23 September 2011: Hold on!
Before contacting the human rights organization and all of the legal proceedings, first talk to the coach to verify the story!
Have you heard this edict from the coach, or did you just hear it from the girlfriend, because it reall... (read in full...)
Could my hubby be straying?
Q. Hi everyone Me and my hubby are very close and still very much in love after almost 22 years...He is the kind of man that wants to hold my hand,always touch me and always tell me how how much he loves me.our sex life is better then ever before...
A. 23 September 2011: Hmm...had you asked for advice before confronting him with what you had (i.e. the missing jacket and the underwear), I'd say not to talk to him until you had other evidence.
A smart husband who had actually cheated wouldn't leave underwea... (read in full...)
Best friend keeps stealing my girl!
Q. So Im in college and my best friend is a year older than me. In a way, he's always been my "wingman" but recently it seems he ends up taking the girl I'm aiming for. The first time it happened, I met this super hot chick at a party me and my friend ...
A. 23 September 2011: Good grief. You both sound like dogs fighting over a bone.
Fire him as your wingman. You're as much into this "competition" as he is. You're just mad that it seems like he's winning. Come on...making out with her but not wanting to date her... (read in full...)
How do I bring up the "are we in a relationship" question?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for nearlly 2 months but it has gotten to the point where i think we are in a relationship however we havent actually defined the realtionship so not quite sure what we are at the moment how do I go about bringing up that ...
A. 23 September 2011: My advice on this is slightly different, and it requires a little more patience and observation.
You've been dating him for 2 months?? Don't bring up the conversation until you've been dating 3 months. Also, listen to how he introduces you to p... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend for being jealous?
Q. Hi I was for a week on vacation with a girlfriend to Italy. First days my boyfriend texted me said he missed me and asked me how I was doing. When I said that I met French and Polish guys and was going out with them that night he starting asking me ...
A. 23 September 2011: What?? You totally wanted him to be jealous! That was insensitive of you when he's missing you, and your story while you're out of town is that you're meeting new guys and they're flirting with you. Why did you have to tell him that?? You made ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, now he wants me to pay
Q. Hey! So, cheated on my bf and I know it was bad and all. So, please, please, please, no judgment. Trying to win him back. He says he loves me, but his trust is gone. Then he came over to my place tonite and tried real hard to have sex.I refused cos ...
A. 23 September 2011: You're right. He wants to debase you and degrade you. Sex isn't the best way to win him back. He's not wanting to make love. He wants to act out on you. He's calling you slut and telling you to "go through hell"? What does that even mean?
... (read in full...)
G/f's ex has invited her for a movie, and I don't trust this guy at all
Q. My girlfriend's old friend / ex boyfriend invited her to the movies with him, alone. Her and I have been dating for 18 months and I've never really felt like this before. I feel, not that she would cheat on me or anything, but the ex will do ...
A. 22 September 2011: It's inappropriate and disrespectful to your relationship for her to date someone else while with you. And that's what this is -- she's going on a date with the ex.
When you decide that you're boyfriend/girlfriend, you don't see exes, period. ... (read in full...)
The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF?
Q. The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF? I know I'd want to know if my BF was meeting his ex. But I'm thinking guys don't care that much. What's the proper way to deal with this?...
A. 21 September 2011: Just ask yourself -- would you want your boyfriend's old "love of his life" to catch up with him amd meet just the two of them??
Old exes aren't the same as old platonic friends. Out of respect for the current relationship, leave the past in ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't I get an erection?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 weeks now andwe have been sexually active for 2 weeks strait and she is almost addicted to having sex with me which is fine cuz I usually want it just as much as she does but the other night we were hanging out ...
A. 21 September 2011: There's nothing wrong with you! Your body was drained and needing a recharge. You're spent! Nothing wrong with that.
She needs to ease up on you. I don't know of any guy who hasn't been tired and had his erection fizzle before it happened... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed...but went looking for a second-hand ring!
Q. So my boyfriend proposed to me the other day. All was going well until he started searching for an engagement ring. We were talking on the phone and he said "Here's one I think you'll like" and sent me a picture of the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. ...
A. 21 September 2011: Hmm. Well, I wouldn't consider dinner/movie tickets to be indicative of the fact that he's cheap unless it pertains to him. He doesn't drive fancy cars and wear designer clothing. He also bought you a nice necklace as well.
I know that most gir... (read in full...)
The ex is getting in the way. How do I build more trust between us to keep us rock solid ?
Q. my boyfriend and I have known each other for eight years. We were always great friends, even tried dating in the beginning of the relationship. At first, it never worked out. So we remain close friends, but we were always attracted to each other. ...
A. 21 September 2011: Listen to me. Shy is no excuse. Shy is never an excuse.
Your boyfriend exposed you to these attacks by not breaking contact with his ex. Shyness isn't what causes him to lie to you and keep contact with her. No way. In fact, he has you wrap... (read in full...)
I've started developing feelings for my FWB but I'm worried that it isn't mutual..
Q. i've been in a friends with benefits relationship with this guy i've know for almost 6 months and im just really confused if he may be developing feelings for me or if im a complete fool and he is using me. we text alot and i go over at least th...
A. 21 September 2011: Yeah, this is why FWB's are an absolutely horrible idea. The definition of FWB means that you two use each other for sexual gratification. No relationships, no strings. FWB is not the first step in a relationship. It's not understood that ... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend. Should I say nothing? Or try to confess to her my feelings and get rejected and move on?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 years old currently in college freshman year and I have feelings for my younger cousin she's 15 and currently in freshman year of high school. Here's the thing first I was only physically attracted to her. I mean I didn't think about ...
A. 21 September 2011: Yikes! There's something you should be thinking about before you start winding yourself up over this girl. This answer is about as serious as a stroke:
She's JAILBAIT.
Meaning, you get with her, you go to jail. She's too young. She's a ... (read in full...)
Re-united how can I be certain he will be faithful this time? I am determined to be faithful.
Q. I met my ex 6 years ago. We dated for 2 years. It was a pretty bad relationship since there was no trust nor respect and we were very immature (early 20's). I slept with his best friend before even knowing my ex. I also slept with someone he knows ...
A. 21 September 2011: What?? You going back to this guy is like a dog going back to his own vomit. If you've matured, move on!!
Both of you are culpable. Both of you have cheated multiple times. Now, he has a child, which means that woman will be a part of his life... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 21 September 2011: You know, first of all, your boyfriend is a porn addict. Have you seen these porn women?? "Hot" isn't how I'd describe them at all with their wildebeest fake moaning, their pained look while being penetrated, and their vacuous eyes.
Also,... (read in full...)
The ex is getting in the way. How do I build more trust between us to keep us rock solid ?
Q. my boyfriend and I have known each other for eight years. We were always great friends, even tried dating in the beginning of the relationship. At first, it never worked out. So we remain close friends, but we were always attracted to each other. ...
A. 21 September 2011: Heh. There's no way you can build trust in this situation. I'm of the opinion that if you're in a committed relationship with someone, that you drop all contact with exes and people you've had romantic or sexual history with. Your boyfriend... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: How would you feel if every man you met shared the same rigid belief system you do? By your own judgement, you should now have to spend the rest of your life utterly and completely alone because you were once engaged to someone.
Do you not see ... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: Huh? I don't get it. Why would you break off an engagement because of something that happened in his past which had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you??
Basically, you broke the engagement for no reason. His ex-fiance screwed him over... (read in full...)
Am I obliged to tell his wife the details about the sex we had?
Q. A few months back I slept with my married boss twice. We got on great in work and in general, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Things were awkward and a mishap in communication led to a second 'mistake'. We agreed it would ...
A. 20 September 2011: Yikes. She should be talking to her husband, not you. And trust me, she does blame you. She might blame him more, but she's not your friend, nor does she "understand".
You need to be diplomatic about this. Her wanting the gory details is about... (read in full...)
I told a married man how I feel and now he has distanced himself from me
Q. Hi everyone. I am not sure if I did the right thing or not. I am a married woman and I recently told my married friend how I feel about him. It was just killing me keeping it inside because I thought he felt the same way about me and that there w...
A. 19 September 2011: He wants to remain faithful to his wife is why.
Sometimes, a friendship is just a friendship. It's true, he might have nurtured a harmless crush with you, but he was happy where it was. He loves his wife and didn't want to cross the line.
... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 19 September 2011: A "where is this going" conversation.
You know where it's going. It's not going. His issue with his family will never go away, and I'm certain you don't want to wait until they all die off.
I'm sorry, but he's never going to marry you.
Wi... (read in full...)
With my new boyfriend, I don't know how not to be physical!
Q. So I started dating this guy about a week ago.. And last night we went to our homecoming dance and I personally had a lot of fun. He had fun too. We were dancing and kissing and had a lot of fun. So, then after the dance, his friends texts me ...
A. 19 September 2011: Uhh...what?? His FRIENDS are texting you telling you to back off? Can he not talk himself?? They're either speaking out of turn, or he doesn't have the balls to talk to you himself.
If it's the first and they're speaking out of turn, I'd ques... (read in full...)
Fwb ignoring me done nothing wrong
Q. Hi this is my problem my fwb who I have been having sex with for the past 6 months has just recently started ignoring me I text him last wednesday and got no reply and today he completely blanked me and walked straight past me what have I done wrong ...
A. 19 September 2011: Yeah, I do believe you've been replaced. It's true -- FWB means there is no relationship. However, it doesn't mean that there is no courtesy or respect.
"No strings" means that there are no attachments or relationship. Doesn't mean that the... (read in full...)
My gay best friend wants me to be his pretend girlfriend so that his parents don't get to know about his sexual orientation
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. One of my best friends is gay, and he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend so his parents don't get suspicious. They don't know he's gay and are very strict in their religion, which is anti-gay. My friend has a plan. ...
A. 18 September 2011: Outstanding! Good luck to him -- and you!... (read in full...)
My gay best friend wants me to be his pretend girlfriend so that his parents don't get to know about his sexual orientation
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. One of my best friends is gay, and he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend so his parents don't get suspicious. They don't know he's gay and are very strict in their religion, which is anti-gay. My friend has a plan. ...
A. 17 September 2011: If you're intending to go through with this, let me reiterate that it's a neon sign that will eventually out the guy, you must do way more than merely say that you're his girlfriend.
He has to *act* like he's into you around them, and you have to ... (read in full...)
My gay best friend wants me to be his pretend girlfriend so that his parents don't get to know about his sexual orientation
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. One of my best friends is gay, and he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend so his parents don't get suspicious. They don't know he's gay and are very strict in their religion, which is anti-gay. My friend has a plan. ...
A. 17 September 2011: Blonde has the right idea.
If your gay friend tries to use you as a "fake girlfriend" cover, that will eventually be his downfall. It's one thing to say that you're his girlfriend, but how is he going to back it up with his actions?? People c... (read in full...)
Hubby having/had an affair???
Q. Had or having an affair? hes 31 but 2 months ago he trashed his 24 year old friend by revealing her sexual antics on radio,the number of men she slept with and who's she sleeping with while hes talking and 3 weeks ago he said hes a fan of the same...
A. 17 September 2011: Actually, this doesn't sound like an affair. It's possible he suggested one and was turned down flat. Usually, you see this kind of behavior in response to a wounded ego. Seriously, why would a married man have details of a woman's sex life who ... (read in full...)
One night stand, now I'm pregnant and uncertain of who the father is
Q. Im not sure who the father of my child is. My boyfriend and I had been having problems for quite sometime then last month I just couldn't take it anymore. I had met someone and one thing lead to another. We only had one encounter. Now I'm pregnant. ...
A. 17 September 2011: Condoms aren't 100% effective. Only celibacy is.
A DNA test is the only sure way to determine responsibility. Either way, doesn't matter if it was your boyfriend or this one-shot guy.
I assume that since you say "boyfriend", you... (read in full...)
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