Is masturbation okay if you're saving your virginity for marriage?
Q. I am certain on not having sex before marriage as I am a christian, but I masturbate... I know its dirty and i shouldn't do it but I just love it and I can't stop, I maybe do it at least once a week. Will god forgive for masturbating since I am ...
A. 30 December 2011: I want to address the post from the anonymous male user regarding the bible and "wasting the semen". He's referring to the story of Er, Onan, and Shelah, and it absolutely has nothing whatsoever to do with semen wasting.
According to the bible, E... (read in full...)
My Gf still checks her ex's facebook account, should I be worried?
Q. What should I think about my girlfriend checking her xboyfriends facebook page even though she unfriended him and can't see anything but his profile pic which isn't even a picture of him? He was a bit of trouble in our relationship in the begi...
A. 30 December 2011: You should be concerned. If she's still checking it every day, that means she is not over him. However, it might not be that she still has feelings for him as in she would drop you in a second. It's more likely that the breakup was nasty and her ... (read in full...)
He said that being physically intimate hurts him, please help!
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago, because I may have to move to another country for some years and he cannot go with me. We still hangout sometimes and are very attracted to each other. We kissed and got physically intimate quite ...
A. 28 December 2011: You both broke up a year ago because you *may* have to move?? Who did the breaking up, if I may ask, and why haven't you been together for the year instead of breaking up??
Why haven't you moved yet? I read your question many times, and this is ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation okay if you're saving your virginity for marriage?
Q. I am certain on not having sex before marriage as I am a christian, but I masturbate... I know its dirty and i shouldn't do it but I just love it and I can't stop, I maybe do it at least once a week. Will god forgive for masturbating since I am ...
A. 28 December 2011: There is no, and I mean NO reference to masturbation being remotely considered a sin in the bible, so there's nothing to forgive for you doing it.
Your feelings of "dirtiness" are in place because of longstanding social views on sexual pleasure... (read in full...)
I broke off temporarily from my girlfriend because she won't let me see my family
Q. After a long time of her not being willing to spend time with my friends/family, I recentley suggested to my girlfriend we should take a break from eachother so she could decide if she's willing to change that. I felt quite lousy for suggesting it, ...
A. 28 December 2011: First of all, you didn't "make" her cry. The two of you got into an argument. Adults do that sometimes. Unless you started verbally abusing her (such as calling her names like "bitch" or making fun of her and ridiculing her), you have every right ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me about problems because it reminds him of his ex
Q. Hi Aunts, I was talking to my boyfriend of 2 and a bit years about a problem I was having with my Dad. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and it took me a while to work out why. First I thought it was something I had done, but I managed to...
A. 24 December 2011: That's just it. If you go carefully and timidly and are nervous about standing up for yourself in this area, that means that you don't believe that you deserve to have an ex-free relationship.
Yes, you can love him. Yes, you can tell him with... (read in full...)
Now that I'm pregnant I'm worried my b/f doesn't find me attractive
Q. I have been with my fiance for 5 years he is 39 and I am 26 I love him so much. I am 13 weeks pregnant and I am kind of scared that I am less attractive he keeps "holding" my large stomach and it makes me feel...yuk. Also his ex wife is not letting ...
A. 23 December 2011: Actually, his "holding" your stomach is most likely a really good thing, as it's not your figure he's reacting to, it's the fact that you're carrying new life! He obviously loves his son, and he's going to love the child you two have together.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me about problems because it reminds him of his ex
Q. Hi Aunts, I was talking to my boyfriend of 2 and a bit years about a problem I was having with my Dad. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and it took me a while to work out why. First I thought it was something I had done, but I managed to...
A. 23 December 2011: You're absolutely right. I say this a lot, but you absolutely must not and must never "compensate" for something done by an ex. This is a tactic used to manipulate you, and if he's having problems with you opening up to him in any way due to it ... (read in full...)
10 year relationship being ruined by my inability to feel anything during sex
Q. Hi, Please help me - I'm a 30 year old healthy woman in a 10 year relationship that is being ruined by my inability to feel anything during intercourse. I can orgasm fine by clitoral stimulation and I have no issues with sex such as lack of experien...
A. 23 December 2011: If you're not feeling anything during intercourse, you're in the vast majority of other women! The people who have orgasm during penetrative intercourse are a minority, whether by their own biology or their partner's endurance or both.
There... (read in full...)
I've decided to break up with my Bf. Should I wait until a week or so into the new year and just have a peaceful x-mas?
Q. I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I no longer feel right in the relationship. I made this decision finally yesterday after lots of thought over the past few weeks, so it's not a spur of the moment thing and I am not ...
A. 23 December 2011: I would wait. You have a 2 year relationship, and your breaking up with him will be a gut wrenching thing for him (unless he's completely checked out of the relationship). The ending of a relationship is a significant loss and is usually mourned ... (read in full...)
Hubby's clothes have body glitter on them...is this from another woman?
Q. Three years ago right after having a baby, I found my husband's jacket that he wears everywhere (especially on business trips) covered in body glitter, on the front. He of course told me a female co-worked sat on it after he had thrown it on a ...
A. 20 December 2011: I think you're right. Something's amiss. The really telling thing, even more than the body glitter, is his explanation.
He says a woman "sat on his coat"? Usually, if someone's coming to sit down on a chair, the person who owns the coat wil... (read in full...)
Boyfreind went soft did I do anything to make that happen
Q. I'm twenty three and in my First sexual relaltionship with my bf :) we had more sex than we normally have one off the times my bf went soft. I know he went soft and he was embassied I hugged him after he went ans took the condom off x and told him ...
A. 19 December 2011: That is an extremely common thing, and I think you hit it on the head -- he did it so much that he just wore out! Even the best need a recharge! It absolutely wasn't you at all! The spirit was willing, but the flesh was tired out from marathon ... (read in full...)
BF broke up blaming his job and family stress. Can or should I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend and I were doing well for about a year (anniversary would have been Thurs). We had made plans that he intiated for the holidays, had talked about the future, etc. frequently. Last Saturday, after a Christmas party he said he didn't ...
A. 18 December 2011: This is something to think about -- do you want a guy who handles stress like this?... (read in full...)
I know I am using her, how do I get out of this?
Q. I'm in a very difficult situation right now. I've been dating a girl now for 3 months, she's more of a rebound gf since I just got out of a long term relationship prior to meeting my new gf. The problem is I don't love her at all. I think she's a ...
A. 17 December 2011: You have no confidence that someone would love you, yet you have someone who cares about you? You have a few real issues. If and when you break up with her, DO NOT DATE again until these issues are resolved.
Also, is this something that can... (read in full...)
BF broke up blaming his job and family stress. Can or should I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend and I were doing well for about a year (anniversary would have been Thurs). We had made plans that he intiated for the holidays, had talked about the future, etc. frequently. Last Saturday, after a Christmas party he said he didn't ...
A. 17 December 2011: It sounds like he's overwhelmed. I wouldn't hang in limbo over the whole "are we done-done" or what. I would calmly explain to him that if he's wanting to break up, that it's a real break up. Explain that in doing this, you'll be dating other ... (read in full...)
He has chewed me up and spat me back out... again!
Q. Last friday my ex mm broke nc again I was firm and told him where to go - even rejecting his calls after which he texted me "ouch no need for that" I was v proud of myself I had NEVER rejected a call from him before after this he bega bombarding me ...
A. 17 December 2011: He's a married man! Of course your self-esteem is at an all-time low, because you'll never be anything to him but a dirty little secret he hides from his wife. You're the bit of sex on the side, and you should STAY no contact for good. Don't even ... (read in full...)
I cant handle rude customers where I work! Any Advice?
Q. I just got my first retail position at a clothing store. I work in the kids dept. I know this isn't a r'ship question, but I was hoping for some help from people who have been in my shoes. I'm a very hard worker but the one thing I can't handle is ...
A. 17 December 2011: Oh! I forgot one more thing. You're in a kid's section, so you'll have an advantage. People, especially parents, are on better behavior around little kids. You give off an air of "librarian" or "teacher", so I think you'll benefit from a bit of ... (read in full...)
I cant handle rude customers where I work! Any Advice?
Q. I just got my first retail position at a clothing store. I work in the kids dept. I know this isn't a r'ship question, but I was hoping for some help from people who have been in my shoes. I'm a very hard worker but the one thing I can't handle is ...
A. 17 December 2011: Hey! I worked retail for 6 years. Not only that, but it was at the Mall of America, which was the Ultimate Meat Grinder of nasty customers. I wanted to stick pins in my ears every time I heard Christmas music because I knew that it drew out the ... (read in full...)
He thinks I want a boyfriend, but I just want a FWB!
Q. Hi there, I really need blunt advise on this, the last thing I want is to appear as an idiot. This year has been very difficult for me and after breaking up with my ex-bf three months ago, i do not feel like dating for a while. He broke my ...
A. 17 December 2011: Yeah, he sees you as no strings attached sex. Unfortunately, due to the argument and your big scolding of him, he also sees you as drama/high maintenance. This is why he's not interested in you anymore.
I want to address something else though. ... (read in full...)
Confront or not? Evidence of girl in my new BF's apt.
Q. Ok: confront or not? Just had the "are we sleeping with other people? Are we dating other people conversation" with the guy I've been dating for 2 months. He has been flaky in the beginnig and said he was but is no longer because he likes me and ...
A. 17 December 2011: I think if you confront him, it should be gently, as 2 months is still a brand new relationship. His "I was dating, but now I'm not" could mean that he made the decision to go exclusive with you that very night. This means that he could have been ... (read in full...)
I don't like my husband's female friend!
Q. Hi, My husband has a female friend I really don't like. The fact that we were dating and then living together, got married and just had a baby and I am just meeting her after almost 4 years really annoys me and frankly quit ticks me off. The fir...
A. 17 December 2011: What exactly made her a problem in his first marriage?
I think the way to deal with her depends on the answer to a question. That question is:
Have these two ever been more than friends?
This means, was she an old girlfriend, or did he ha... (read in full...)
Do I pick the good guy or the bad guy?
Q. help me!!!! I love two men and have no idea what to do.... one is a good guy ones a bad guy but I just dont know who to choose!...
A. 17 December 2011: Boy, yeah, I think we need more info.
Otherwise, this question would be a no-brainer. Why pick a bad guy when you can have a good one? That would be like having a problem choosing between a fresh piece of bread and a moldy insect-i... (read in full...)
Let's just be friends....
Q. Hello lovely people :) I am having a little rant here, because I truely do not understand the thinking behind this statement "Let's just be friends". Say you have been on a number of dates over a month or longer, you feel things are goin...
A. 16 December 2011: "Let's be friends" is less brutal than "I'm not interested."
I'm thinking that he was chasing you for sex, and he didn't want to wait for it. You did the right thing by not going for it, because you were smart enough to realize that sex not the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated with multiple girls
Q. Found out my boyfriend cheated on me with 5 girls from my area Including MY BEST FRIEND. His defence was " technically we're not in a relationship its more of a friends with benifets thing " He introduced me to his family as his girlfriend, birthday ...
A. 16 December 2011: Yuck. This guy is a real piece of work. He can't have it both ways. If he's calling you "girlfriend", then it isn't a FWB, and he cheated on you.
You have every right to feel betrayed, because the relationship was built on false pretense... (read in full...)
Is my teacher a serious perv?
Q. I have a male teacher,lets just call him Mr. Y.I was in class today,and I was wearing shorts and a v-neck and he came up to me and said "Hi Leila,how are you?". I just said"Um,fine.".Then he told me that we were doing a test soon and gave me a ...
A. 16 December 2011: Never dismiss an "oogy" feeling when you get one. He shouldn't be checking you out and making comments about your appearance. Like the other aunts have said, be guarded about how you carry yourself around him, and keep a mental note of everything ... (read in full...)
I know for a fact that I'm in love my my science teacher
Q. I'm completely and utterly in love with my old science teacher. I'm 15 and a sophomore and he's 28. He teaches freshmen science so I no longer have him as a teacher. I know for a fact I am in love with him. He is the only person who can make me ...
A. 16 December 2011: Think about it this way:
A real, honest love for a person would do anything for them. This means, if your increased attention for him would destroy his career and/or his family if he's married,not to mention putting him in jail, then if you were... (read in full...)
How can we go from being so in Love..... To Nothing?
Q. I have recently just split up with a guy that I've been seeing for 8 Months. I have 2 children from a previous relationship, which he accepted and grew close to. Throughout the relationship we enjoyed do many things together, holidays and not a ...
A. 16 December 2011: Oh boy. In truth, I think he had been pulling away for some time, and the argument just gave him the excuse or the "catharsis" to end it and feel justified in doing so. The reason I think this way is that many people (guys and girls included) will ... (read in full...)
It's not like I'm asking for sex constantly, just a show of affection, and my Gf doesn't even do that!
Q. PleAse help. Hi there I'm having a huge problem in my relationship. My girlfriend of 8 mionths just doesnt seem to want to show me affection. She begrudgingly let's me hug her have sex with her and will let me kiss her if she's feeling generous but ...
A. 13 December 2011: I disagree with jumping to the conclusion that she's being emotionally abusive. I think I'd like to know more about this situation before just passing summary judgment on her.
I'll give a couple of possible thoughts on the matter:
1. Ther... (read in full...)
Breakup after 7 years of dating, ex wanted to stay friends. I don't. Am I cold?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently broke up with a GF of 7 yrs, we had been faithful to each others over all those years, even when we had short breaks, and when we broke up 2 weeks ago, I feel relieved and just want to get on with my life. I feel that we ...
A. 11 December 2011: You're doing the right thing, and you're not cold and selfish. Ending it means ending it, not this "up in the air" friends thing. You're clearing your mind and heart because you want to move on. She should do the same.
Like the other aunts ha... (read in full...)
Once or twice a month I have a stronger scent that usual. Is this normal?
Q. Maybe once or twice a month I will have a stronger "scent" than usual. It's not like a sickening smell and it's not a bad odor..My boyfriend says it's just stronger than it usually is. All other days it's a very mild scent. Is this normal?? I wash ...
A. 11 December 2011: It's just your hormone levels, so you're okay! Things change due to menstruation or ovulation or even if the hormone flow is jogged a bit by stress or strenuous exercise. Also, what you eat can affect your smell too, so if you go out drinking for ... (read in full...)
Ex is avoiding me after sex
Q. My ex appears to be avoiding me after we had sex. We've been broke up for 5 months now because he didn't feel enough for me to be in a relationship and saw me as a friend. But we carried on having sex until about 3 months ago. Then it stopped ...
A. 10 December 2011: He's playing you, unfortunately. You're in love with him, but he wants no strings attached FWB fun. This is a danger to keeping an ex in your life and being sexually active. You have feelings for him that make this kind of arrangement not good ... (read in full...)
We were broken up, I thought for good and I kissed another guy and now everything is a mess
Q. Hi. Ok so I've made a horrible horrible mistake and I need to fix it. Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months. We started getting serious, which wasn't good because people at college were coming between us and it just got emotional and ...
A. 10 December 2011: Okay, SLOW DOWN here. You're not a cheater. He broke up with you. You can do whatever you want. His trust and respect for you are irrelevant. You did not cheat. You shouldn't have lied about it, but it's none of his business what you do ... (read in full...)
I think I love my FWB but he doesn't care
Q. ok, so this friend and i have been doin this friends with benifits thing since the break up the first time! but hes tarted to get close with an ex of his but he said it most likly wont work. well shortly after that we got back together and it only ...
A. 9 December 2011: FWB *is* mutual using of someone. There's no love, no demands, no feelings, no relationship, no requirements, no strings. You can sleep with 10,000 other people and not have it be considered cheating.
One of the absolute greatest mistakes... (read in full...)
FWB--I do not want to cut him out but he's hurting me with what he says
Q. ive been in an exclusive fwb relationship for the past six months. I have a lot of history with this guy and I really do not know what to do. It started about just over a year ago. We had mutual friends and ranodmly hooked up, both of us ju...
A. 9 December 2011: Wow. It's really interesting, the mind of your FWB. He set the conditions of your relationship (i.e. no strings attached, no commitments, no relationship), and you followed that arrangement all the way. Basically, you lost his respect by ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband? He's accusing me of cheating because an ex co-worker randomly texted me!
Q. My husband and I have been having problems for a while now but our marriage is still surviving (Husband Money problems, Infertility issues from my husband side, problems with my In Laws , etc). Just to make things more complicated one night while ...
A. 29 November 2011: Put yourself in his shoes. Let's say that you had a debilitating illness so that say you had to have surgery that left you disfigured. You had a mastectomy, or all your teeth taken out, or had a leg amputated, or took medicine that caused you to ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband? He's accusing me of cheating because an ex co-worker randomly texted me!
Q. My husband and I have been having problems for a while now but our marriage is still surviving (Husband Money problems, Infertility issues from my husband side, problems with my In Laws , etc). Just to make things more complicated one night while ...
A. 29 November 2011: I have a very simple question -- if you had seen a text show up on your husband's phone, wouldn't you take issue? Wouldn't you be a bit more skeptical if he then showed you texts of this girl trying to talk to him over and over on Facebook? ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so bad about leaving him??
Q. hi it's my first time posting here! i just wanted to ask is why am i feeling so bad for leaving my boyfriend? we were going out for almost 2 years and i endured his lies secret conversation with girls, secret outings with his immature friends...
A. 27 November 2011: First of all, you did what so many other people don't have the courage to do. You made the break from someone who was clearly immature and toxic. You did the right thing in leaving him.
You were with him for two years and have a history with him... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 24 November 2011: Okay. Don't answer these questions or provide personal info of you or him on here, but let's get detective, okay?
1. How old is he? Is he over 18?
2. If he's not over 18, has he ever been employed? I'm not talking about some cash for mom and... (read in full...)
Are there engagement rings for men?
Q. hello everyone seen as its a leap year next year I am planning on proposing to my bf of 2 years it will also be his birthday a few days later I'm just wondering if there are engagement rings for men. thanks all ...
A. 20 November 2011: Sure there could be an engagement ring for a guy. Any piece of jewelry or precious treasure would fit the bill!
However, you might want to pass on the frilly princess cut solitaire. ;)
Best of luck on your proposal!!... (read in full...)
He doesn't want someone who's needy, but someone who needs him
Q. Ok, I'm posting this on behalf of my friend... She has been dating a guy for six monts and some issues have surfaced. His last ex of 8 years was very timid when they met and really looked up to him. She relied on him for nearly everything as she...
A. 20 November 2011: This guy feeds on dependency. He wants more than a girlfriend. He wants someone dependent on him and feeling incomplete in herself. This gives him a feeling and a sense of power in the relationship. Make no mistake, it could be a benevolent ... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 20 November 2011: Are there no pictures of you on your Facebook? It seems strange that if your FB has a bunch of pictures on it, he would be asking for more.
If he's withholding his phone number, that is a prudent thing to do on the internet. But to ask you for ... (read in full...)
He's had 6 gfs before me and I need to know the details. Should I ask?
Q. My bf is the first proper bf I have had and the person I lost my virginity too. However, before me, he had a bout 6 proper gfs and has had sex with them all. This makes me feel a bit uncomfy, but I realise you can't usually get boys without history. ...
A. 19 November 2011: What more do you need to know? He's had six girlfriends in his sexual past. That's enough for you to know. Names and lengths of relationships? There's no reason that you have to know the details. You're feeling retroactive jealousy, and already ... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 19 November 2011: What kind of picture is he asking for?
You mentioned porn site. Is it a nude or topless picture that he wants from you? DON'T DO IT! No "nice and sweet" guy would ask you for that. If he's asking for a simple picture of what you look like wit... (read in full...)
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