Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 24 November 2011: Okay. Don't answer these questions or provide personal info of you or him on here, but let's get detective, okay?
1. How old is he? Is he over 18?
2. If he's not over 18, has he ever been employed? I'm not talking about some cash for mom and... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 20 November 2011: Are there no pictures of you on your Facebook? It seems strange that if your FB has a bunch of pictures on it, he would be asking for more.
If he's withholding his phone number, that is a prudent thing to do on the internet. But to ask you for ... (read in full...)
He's had 6 gfs before me and I need to know the details. Should I ask?
Q. My bf is the first proper bf I have had and the person I lost my virginity too. However, before me, he had a bout 6 proper gfs and has had sex with them all. This makes me feel a bit uncomfy, but I realise you can't usually get boys without history. ...
A. 19 November 2011: What more do you need to know? He's had six girlfriends in his sexual past. That's enough for you to know. Names and lengths of relationships? There's no reason that you have to know the details. You're feeling retroactive jealousy, and already ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't stop masturbating to porn!
Q. Dear Cupid, So a while ago, my boyfriend confessed to watching porn and said he would stop. He thinks it's a bad thing. A teeny bit recently, i told him how i felt about it and he said "sorry for doing that" and promised he'd stop again. Then...
A. 19 November 2011: You can't tell him to stop using porn. All the upset-ness and interrogating and checking up on him will not stop him. He'll only lie better to you and hide it better.
Unfortunately, he is a porn addict if it's interfering with his ability ... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 19 November 2011: What kind of picture is he asking for?
You mentioned porn site. Is it a nude or topless picture that he wants from you? DON'T DO IT! No "nice and sweet" guy would ask you for that. If he's asking for a simple picture of what you look like wit... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to be in charge in the bedroom and I don't know what to do!
Q. My husband has expressed a desire for me to be "in charge" in the bedroom. I am not experienced in that area whatsoever. What do I need to do to give my husband the "woman in charge" sex that he wants?...
A. 15 November 2011: This is about his wanting to know that you want him, which can be really fun! If you desire him physically, tell him! Don't wait for his request to make love....tell him you want it. Get him into the bedroom, rip his clothes off, push him onto ... (read in full...)
How to have the "we need to talk" talk with a guy??? Any help appreciated!!
Q. This guy and I have had an on-again off-again thing for nearly three years now. Nothing physical, but we have a hell of a lot of chemistry. And it isn't just "Oh your attractive let's have sex"-- it's a legitimate I care about you and hope you're ...
A. 15 November 2011: Closure in this case is another word for saying that you want an explanation that will salve your bruised ego. I'm not saying this to be mean, but it's tough feeling rejected, especially since it wasn't supposed to be this way.
Unfor... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm boring
Q. I need help with my girlfriend She constantly says I'm boring and annoying She hates whenever I talk about stuff she does that make me mad and annoyed because she says that's not manly and that she wants a man. She also says I'm boring when I kn...
A. 11 November 2011: Hah! I can read between the lines on this one.
Allow me to translate what she's *really* telling you:
She wants to party. You want to settle down and don't find drinking and partying to be all that fun or appealing. She's bashing you beca... (read in full...)
He is not calling... should I call or give him space?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for ALMOST 2 years.....he usually calls me multiple times a day sometimes even more.... but recnetly ive been alittle busy so i could really answer his calls but to make up for missing his calls i sent him a txt ...
A. 10 November 2011: I say give him space! If you two are constantly talking/texting, the relationship can get clingy and smothery.
Just back off for a bit. Take a few days and give him space. If he hasn't called you by Sunday, then call him and see how he's doin... (read in full...)
Separated over an emotional affair that I suspect may be physical too
Q. Hi everyone. I would appreciate advice and opinions about this. I am now beginning to believe that there is a high possibility of my H’s emotional affair being physical as well. Just this past weekend (Friday), he said he would spent the night at ...
A. 10 November 2011: This one is absurdly easy. He's cheating on you. It's over. He's moved out. He's sleeping with her. If he's decided suddenly that he's moving out, it's a done deal.
You do not need evidence. Emotional cheating is cheating. What more do ... (read in full...)
In fairness I need to make up my mind between the two of them
Q. I'm having a little trouble making a decision. Ive been single for nearly 2 years now but I recently started seeing someone and things were goin ok then I started talking to a girl I've met a few times and I started seeing her to. It's not at th...
A. 10 November 2011: I want to stress again, you *are* at the point of making the decision. Once you involve the bedroom, it needs to be exclusive.
You never mentioned how long you've been seeing this long distance girl. If it's been under a couple of weeks and you ... (read in full...)
My wife shared a hotel room with a male colleague!
Q. Is it ever OK for a married woman to spend the night in a hotel room with another man? My wife has been working at this new job for 2 years. The company scheduled an out of town trip for seminars which will help her get a promotion that s...
A. 10 November 2011: I didn't see this before:
"Any future trips that I can't go on and get our own room then my wife isn't going to be allowed to go on"
What?! No you don't. If you seriously enforce this, then you must live by the same standard and you will be ... (read in full...)
Months later I'm still suspicious
Q. My partner and I have 4 children.When our youngest was 8mths old (he is now 16 months) I thought my partner was cheating.I didn`t say anything at the time because after having all the babies in quick succession,I felt a bit jealous that his life ...
A. 10 November 2011: Chigirl is right. I'll take it a step further and suggest that you don't even have to go through all of his trouble with getting his phone and checking his messages.
He's already cheated on you. He was disloyal in bashing you to other female f... (read in full...)
In fairness I need to make up my mind between the two of them
Q. I'm having a little trouble making a decision. Ive been single for nearly 2 years now but I recently started seeing someone and things were goin ok then I started talking to a girl I've met a few times and I started seeing her to. It's not at th...
A. 10 November 2011: Here's the thing. There's nothing wrong with dating two people from the start, since you're not serious. I do see a problem sleeping with two women at the same time, especially if you're not up front with these women about it. I'm totally ... (read in full...)
My wife shared a hotel room with a male colleague!
Q. Is it ever OK for a married woman to spend the night in a hotel room with another man? My wife has been working at this new job for 2 years. The company scheduled an out of town trip for seminars which will help her get a promotion that s...
A. 9 November 2011: Oh man I feel your pain, and yes, it's not right that your wife stayed in a hotel room with this other guy. The offending parties were your wife's roommate and this other guy who treated this trip like an adolescent Spring Break and left your wife ... (read in full...)
How to motivate myself to stay in school?
Q. I'm in high-school, grade 10. I am supposed to be in Grade 11, but I dropped out of school when I was in grade 8, so I had to re-do it over. I had 3 morning classes, but dropped out of them. So, I lost 3 easy credits. I don't know what I'm going to ...
A. 9 November 2011: It sounds like you know the consequences of dropping out and that it would impact your life greatly. You also have a good grasp on the clear reasons why staying in school is in your best interest.
You sound like you're feeling like you're s... (read in full...)
How to motivate myself to stay in school?
Q. I'm in high-school, grade 10. I am supposed to be in Grade 11, but I dropped out of school when I was in grade 8, so I had to re-do it over. I had 3 morning classes, but dropped out of them. So, I lost 3 easy credits. I don't know what I'm going to ...
A. 9 November 2011: It sounds like you know the consequences of dropping out and that it would impact your life greatly. You also have a good grasp on the clear reasons why staying in school is in your best interest.
You sound like you're feeling like you're s... (read in full...)
How can I trust him knowing he was sneaking around on some dating site?
Q. My bf and I have been together for 2 yrs. Well just the other day I found out he signed up for a dating site. I know that it was somewhat recent because in his description it said has a kid and we have a 4 month old daughter together. Well I co...
A. 9 November 2011: This is a symptom, like high blood pressure or stomach pain is a symptom. You're right about his actions shaking your trust, and this needs to continue being addressed in order for you to be able to rebuild that trust.
However, in your desire t... (read in full...)
He said that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head that our marriage will be over!
Q. I have been with my husband for almost four years. When we had been dating for a month I told him that I hated giving head. We have been married for a little over a year now and he is telling me that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head ...
A. 3 November 2011: I'd take him up on it and end the marriage. A sexual act should never be coerced, pressured, guilted, or forced upon another person. You never deceived him by saying you liked it and then pulling a bait and switch. You informed him from the start ... (read in full...)
Together a year but havent kissed or hugged yet!
Q. I've been dating this guy for more than a year. till now we have just hold hands. I want him to kiss me and hug me!!! but i dont want to make the first move. what should i do????? help me!...
A. 1 November 2011: Back in high school, I had a friend who dated a guy for a year and a half (they had been friends for 3 years total), and he had only held hands or would give a tiny peck after a date. He was very thoughtful and romantic, but anything sexual (i.e. ... (read in full...)
A man she had a thing with years ago commented on her Facebook, I feel so betrayed!
Q. Yesterday i saw a post of a picture of my wife and my grandfather on facebook and saying that she feels much happy because never had a real blood grandpapa and for having a grandfather like him,etc. And everybody replied and liked it, and this guy ...
A. 1 November 2011: Your wife didn't have anything to do with this. Is this guy a friend on her Facebook? If not, then whoever had these pictures could have their settings set so that non-friends could see and comment.
She's not cheating on you. She didn't b... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that I want an abortion? Or just go ahead and do it anyway?
Q. Well... I am 28 years old and have been with the same guy for 10 years... Yes, 10 years. We're not technically married, but do plan to stay together for the long hall. And, I just found out I was pregnant. Obviously we've been being careful over the ...
A. 1 November 2011: DanielLePew -- My advice has bearing on her pregnancy and the decision to keep or end it. The long haul and long term thinking is imperative in a decision like this, as the emotional, physical and psychological effects are very far reaching.
... (read in full...)
Is he more interested in sex than me? now all he seems concerned about is how soon we can become a couple and start having sex
Q. Hey guys would love an outsiders opinion to this... Long story short I've met this amazing guy two weeks ago who is sweet, cute, funny and matched and rivalled my humour and we got on really well. We've been talking non stop over this time and al...
A. 31 October 2011: Good lord. This guy is gross!
Two weeks and he's pressuring you heavily for sex and doing it in this crude fashion.
MAJOR RED FLAG!
Get away from him and fast! He wants to USE you. He's not interested in getting to know you. He is sedu... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that I want an abortion? Or just go ahead and do it anyway?
Q. Well... I am 28 years old and have been with the same guy for 10 years... Yes, 10 years. We're not technically married, but do plan to stay together for the long hall. And, I just found out I was pregnant. Obviously we've been being careful over the ...
A. 31 October 2011: You need to talk this out with him. A secret like this would erode you both even if you never mentioned it. It's like a festering oozing sore, and it WOULD come out eventually and most likely in the ugliest way.
Since it's 10 years invested... (read in full...)
After everything why is he ignoring me now?
Q. I was messing around with a guy for about 11 months. He was actually my friend before it began. At the beginning he was sweet, complimented me and all that, but at the same time he was messing around with other girls. I wasn't tripping because he ...
A. 31 October 2011: This guy was honest about who he was and what he wants. When you met him, he made it clear by his actions and later his words that he has no intentions of having an exclusive relationship with you.
You developed feelings for him and decided ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend not employed, doesn't help out with costs and I'm getting fed up
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy who has been struggling to become employed for about half a year now. I work almost full time hours and have a car. We both currently live with our parents but would like to gain our independence soon. At the ...
A. 25 October 2011: Sounds like he can't really afford a relationship now.
In this economic climate, half a year is usual for job seekers. I'd cut him slack if he was really actively looking for a job. If he's really job searching, I'd say support him.
However... (read in full...)
I can't get over the emotional affair with a married man
Q. Hi everyone. I am having a really hard time getting over a married man. I am in an unhappy marriage and this is why I was vulnerable to him. He led me on and then disappeared from my life. I had true and deep feelings for him during our frien...
A. 25 October 2011: This one's simpler than you think. The way you described how you felt about him and how you feel now without him show clearly that you emotionally used him as a crutch to prop yourself up on. That is a huge trap -- to base your own happiness on ... (read in full...)
My fiance keeps asking me to play along with her fantasy but then rejects my advances! What do I do??
Q. so i know rape fantasy is very common among women. my fiance has always enjoyed this fantasy and has often asked me to "fuck her like im raping her". she will always tell me to be rougher or go harder. now she is quite ashamed about these fantasies ...
A. 23 October 2011: There is something wrong with her. This is messed up, and I think it bears talking about. It's one thing to have a rape fantasy (it's more common than you think), but it's another to let it interfere with a relationship. Sounds like in this are... (read in full...)
Why is my fiance so kind to me and I don't return it?
Q. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 36 years old and but she is amazingly fit and looking stunning beautiful We are together for the last 2 years. I am not that explicit in expressing my feelings. When she says I love you , I just reciprocate her with...
A. 23 October 2011: A really good question -- you say she's your fiance. Doesn't an expression of love come before a proposal of marriage? What made you propose? Why would it be easier to ask "Will you marry me" and not tell her you love her? Usually a guy t... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend wanted to have a look "down there" after knowing I had some complications with my circumcision. Platonic or something more to it?
Q. I split with my girlfriend six months ago and still enjoy hanging out with her. Before the relationship, we were always close, open friends so decided to revert to that. Anyway, I recently had a circumcision and following that were some ...
A. 23 October 2011: I think this is a case of curiosity gone wild. I don't know of many women who would show their ex "down there" if they had a problem, as usually when two people break up, they split up.
I can't really fault her, because if I had dated an uncircum... (read in full...)
How does a female know what's a good odor or bad?
Q. My sisters say their vagina's has a certain odor. One says hers smell like chlorine. The other says it smells like a rubber condom. Is that normal? They both haven't been sexually active for over a year. And their last pap smear was fine. Now they ...
A. 23 October 2011: Oh DO wash every day!
I said "IF you eat nasty foods and don't wash down there every day, it might smell".
DO wash, but do not get soap inside your vagina! No way!
Sounds like whatever you're doing, it's right!... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: Man are you in serious denial about your role in this situation.
You have sex because you "choose" to? Let's test that, shall we? How about you refuse to do everything sexual with him for good. Just stop cold turkey. Don't let him touch yo... (read in full...)
Ex in town...should I call?
Q. Hey, just a quick question.. My ex is in town for the next week, and I was wondering if it is ok for me to call him. He knows I am here obviously, and hasn't contacted or done anything.. I leave on tuesday to visit my boyfriend who lives in another...
A. 23 October 2011: Why not ask your boyfriend? I'm guessing that he won't be too happy.
This guy is your ex. You don't contact exes when you have a boyfriend. How would you feel if your boyfriend contacted his ex? What if he meets her?
Nostalgia has... (read in full...)
She says she loves me, but has shown absolutely no emotion or affection toward me since we got back together.
Q. Things my girlfriend of 4 and half years dreads if I ask her:- "Shall we have a night out?" We used to have nights out at least once a week. Then we split up for 3 months in 2008 and got back, things have never been the same. Its as if she doe...
A. 23 October 2011: First of all, stealing from work is not a "first bit of trouble". That was a major thing. You stole from work. Did you get caught? Did you lose your job? Were the police notified?
That is a massive issue. When you find out that the man you'... (read in full...)
How long do you chase a guy before giving up?
Q. How long do you chase a guy before giving up ? I been with dating this guy for 2 yrs and it seems like he doesn't love me the way I love him. Everytime we fight he's always ready to leave he gets angry at everything and disrespects me I don't know ...
A. 23 October 2011: There's a saying...to "cut your losses".
Every single day you're with him is an investment of your time, energy, and youth. Each day is one you will never get back.
So are you going to give this guy one more second of your time? Nope. He... (read in full...)
I have to move, b/f thinks he wants to move with me but isn't 100% sure and now I"m feeling insecure
Q. Ok, so I have/was with this guy for a year and three months. A around the eighth or ninth month I told him I really wanted to move to another state because my mom and I could not make it out here on our own for financial reasons. He said he's go ...
A. 23 October 2011: If you love him, you will NOT let him move with you.
Why do I say this?
He doesn't want to do it. He's not in love with you. You might continue to strongarm him into going with you, but he will resent it, and hate you for his moving with you.... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: Oh, by the way....I agree with you that you didn't "cause" his marriage to be that way. HE caused the marriage to be that way with his cheating.
But that's another huge piece of evidence that your self-esteem is absolutely trashed. You were wit... (read in full...)
I'm worried that ex put naked photos of me on the internet
Q. I was in an internet relationship with a man in a middle eastern country for 3 years. In the beginning I did cybersex with him and didn't have enough sense to keep my face off of it. I stopped doing it a few years ago but am terrified he might have ...
A. 23 October 2011: I doubt that you'll see them on the internet, but you're right to be nervous about having cybersex. Not a good idea. However, you stopped 3 years ago. if he was going to post that on the internet, he would have done it by now.... (read in full...)
Just lost my virginity. Now I can't stop thinking about sex.
Q. I recently lost my virginity. Me and my boyfriend have done it a few more times since then. Now I can't stop thinking about sex. I keep replaying the sex in my mind and I can't wait until we can get together to do it again. It is distracting to say ...
A. 23 October 2011: Nothing's wrong with you! You discovered something amazing, and now you're thinking about it. Just make sure that you keep your life in balance, and you'll be fine!
Sex is free and fun and natural. Just stay safe and responsible. You're e... (read in full...)
Should I take my ex to court for slander?
Q. My ex and I broke up for about a year now, we broke up because she cheated, so I move on with my life. I have found recently she has been lying about me, like she did about her ex husband... she keeps telling to people I am a violent person, she is ...
A. 23 October 2011: Suing for slander is very tricky. You have to prove that what's being said isn't true, you have to prove that she is slandering you, and you have to prove damage to your reputation and possible monetary damage (i.e. you were passed over for a job, ... (read in full...)
How does a female know what's a good odor or bad?
Q. My sisters say their vagina's has a certain odor. One says hers smell like chlorine. The other says it smells like a rubber condom. Is that normal? They both haven't been sexually active for over a year. And their last pap smear was fine. Now they ...
A. 23 October 2011: Every vagina has an odor. How it is depends on many things. Diet, hygiene, free from infections, even the kind of clothing you wear affects it.
Most women do not need any feminine wash, as you are naturally given the ability to clean and flus... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be with his son but shouldn't he be with me too?
Q. Im in a difficult situation, ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr hes has a son and I have a daughter! He has his son every wkend and my daughter goes to her dads every other wkend! The thing is he pretty much lives with all wk then every wk end ...
A. 23 October 2011: Wait a second. I read your question through again, and I want to ask you to clarify something with me.
Do you two live together?
If the answer is yes, does he leave on Friday and spend the nights over there??
If the answer is no, you two do... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: You are a kept mistress.
You will always be his dirty little secret.
Your position is extremely tenuous because once his wife finds out about you, you're cut off.
Think about what he is paying for. You said it was "just sex" and now you h... (read in full...)
Why is my fiance so kind to me and I don't return it?
Q. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 36 years old and but she is amazingly fit and looking stunning beautiful We are together for the last 2 years. I am not that explicit in expressing my feelings. When she says I love you , I just reciprocate her with...
A. 22 October 2011: Of course she deserves better from you, and you need to show her that. If you don't love her, then you're not good enough for her, simple as that.
The only real question is -- do you actually love her? If you do, then tell her you love her... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be with his son but shouldn't he be with me too?
Q. Im in a difficult situation, ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr hes has a son and I have a daughter! He has his son every wkend and my daughter goes to her dads every other wkend! The thing is he pretty much lives with all wk then every wk end ...
A. 22 October 2011: The kids always come first. I commend and applaud your boyfriend for being so dedicated to seeing them. You can see the boyfriend any night of the week and enjoy it, and a year into the relationship might not be enough time for him to feel like he ... (read in full...)
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