A
male
age
41-50,
*ife94
writes:Let's say you are in a relationship with woman where is has been off and on for years and have been to her place before, in the beginning.but now she moved and told you "she brought a house" and I live out of town but every time I come into town she wants me to get a room at some motel! What do you think is going on and what should I do about it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 It might be a sign that she wants to move on. Sorry, but it might be the end of "you and her".
The love has disappeared. She obviously has better things to do with her time than make you feel welcome at her house. There's no nice way of saying it. And it is "her" house. Not yours.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 I agree with YouWish, plus I'd say that maybe she does not want her neighbours to be informed about her on/off sexual activities and your on/off comings and goings. And/or , maybe she does not feel like doing the intimacy / boyfriendish thing ( sharing her own bed and shower, cooking breakfast, eating it together etc ) IF the situation is basically a casual when-I-see-you-I-see-you kind of thing.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 September 2011):
 The answer is found in the "on/off" status.
When a relationship is on and off over and over again, there's no certainty, and you can't assume that a relationship will grow and build properly if it's being interrupted and injected with uncertainty.
I'm guessing that she is hedging her bets based on the fact that there is no assurity and security in your relationship. Either that or she's messy and doesn't want to embarrass herself.
I would be inclined to think that while she cares for you, she needs a steady relationship, one that is always on. The fact that your relationship is long distance does not bode well at all.
Talk it out, and find out why. You need to be either off or on, and if you're long distance, you need to make a plan to become UN-long distance, or your relationship is doomed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): I would assume she is hiding something - or someone.
Not just because of the Motel thing, but because after years on and off seeing each other you two haven't moved forward or developed the relationship.
Does she visit you, stop at your place ever or has it always been you to her and now the Motel?
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 She is clearly hiding something. Either she is living with someone, or maybe she is embarrassed of her purchase. do you ever invite her to where you live?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): It's simply her preference. Some people prefer chicken over beef. I wouldn't worry about that, its about how she treats you and what she does for u. If she offer to pay for the hotel at times then I see no problem especially if she lives in a hotel when she visits u. Based things on how you're treated, not her comfort level.
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