My B/f was aroused, but couldn't climax. Could it have been due to stress, or am I just not good enough for him?
Q. Hia Today I found myself in a situation I've never been in before, and I was just wondering if anyone here could advise me on it :) I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and we've been sexually active for a while now. Today when thing...
A. 12 October 2011: That's extremely common, and most of the time is *is* due to stress. It wasn't about you at all. A guy may be able to put on a bold and strong face to you when he's facing stress, but a lot of times his body betrays him during sex.
Other... (read in full...)
My wife is the breadwinner now and wants me to be a house-husband, should I do it?
Q. Hi I m from Detroit city age 35. I lost my job couple of years back because of the recession ; haven't been able to find another one. However, my wife,33, has a great job with big fat pay package. Surprisingly, she got a promotion during the rece...
A. 11 October 2011: Well, practically speaking, it works great! She's got the job and you're managing the household.
But, I have the feeling your pride is writhing a bit from this, especially if you're calling yourself "house husband" and thinking about a job loss... (read in full...)
Do you view oral sex as "less than" regular intercourse? Why?
Q. Do you view oral sex as "less-than" regular intercourse? I have dated a few girls in the past that readily admitted to giving head, but proudly stated they were still virgins. I have gone out with a few girls who blew me away, pun intended, by ...
A. 11 October 2011: First off, I would never let a guy blow his wad all over my face! EWWW! I may be in the minority, but come on! We girls put a lot of work into making their hair and face beautiful! Watch where you spray that stuff, would you boys?
(Rant... (read in full...)
Is it normal for sex to feel different with/without a condom?
Q. dear cupid, soo, the first few times that i had sex, the guy used a condom. buuut there were a few times after that when he DIDN'T use a condom. please don't start lecturing me about how this is risky behavior and that i could wind up getting ...
A. 11 October 2011: Forget the "risky condom" lecture. I feel the need to lecture you about the risky GUY. Did you just meet him? From what you wrote, it sounds like you're just starting out having sex (within the first few months) with is already pushing for skin ... (read in full...)
Should I make her leave me alone?
Q. My ex and I broke up. she wants to be freinds and talk. I cant be just her friend. I love her too much. I have told her I dont want to be friends. I told her to just move on and she doesnt. I dont want her to move on at all but she has told me that ...
A. 11 October 2011: You're sending the mixed messages.
You're ignoring her and telling her to stop texting you, yet you visit her THIS WEEK and the two of you make out?
You can't stay in this limbo. It's very unhealthy for the both of you. She wants to keep co... (read in full...)
Ex has new gf but is still contacting me
Q. Hey, I need some help with my ex... We'd been together 3 years and split up a month ago. Since then he has been in regular contact with me (several times a week) just to see how I am and if I'm getting on etc. He also kept asking to meet up, which I ...
A. 11 October 2011: He's pretty much spelled out his wished here:
" He just says things are complicated in the new relationship but that he is with her now. "
He's with her. He wants to remain with her. The relationship cannot be rebuilt as long as he is resolut... (read in full...)
I'm in an open relationship. my friend's brother and I had sex. So why did'nt he reply after our great night?
Q. My husband and i agreed to an open relationship not too long ago after being married for 6 years. I met my friends brother at a club few days back. He was flirting with me, buying me drinks, dancing with me etc. I told him about my relation...
A. 11 October 2011: Sounds like you're not good for the open relationship scene. The idea of an open marriage is that you have pure sex WITHOUT emotion. You are having feelings for this other guy.
You used him and he used you. If you can handle it, then it's fun... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 11 October 2011: Right, have you met this guy yet??
How long have you been seeing each other??
I've said this before on here, but I'm going to tell you now. You must not compensate for what he says other women have done to him. You're not responsible for ... (read in full...)
Do I listen to my friends? Give in to my doubts? Alarm bells, not wedding bells are ringing in my ears?
Q. i'm with a guy who wants to marry me. Yet alarm bells are ringing? He has his own business in istanbul and two other businesses in another city. But my friends say he is using me for passport and visa. Has anyone any advice for me? ...
A. 11 October 2011: ALWAYS listen to alarm bells. Always, always, always.
Why are your friends saying that???
And, if he is so established with businesses in different cities, why would he need you for a passport?
Also, how do you know him, and how long have y... (read in full...)
Sex for the 1st time was painful and now I think I'm angry and don't want to talk to my boyfriend!
Q. I had sex for the first time yesterday and it wasnt what i expected at all. It was PAINFUL and awkward... although my boyfriend is great and tried to make me feel extra comfortable i still felt uncomfortable. Now I dont feel like talking to him but ...
A. 11 October 2011: It's *supposed* to be painful and awkward! No matter how good and caring your boyfriend is, it's going to be that way! So what are you so angry about??
The sex after the first time is where the fun begins. It gets better and better the more you... (read in full...)
How do I forget about my first love?
Q. hey guys! well,i'm trying to forget my first love but we were just a friends and he has a gf ,how i can forget about him and he still talking to me and he's soooooo nice with me, i can be just a friend but with his attitude what can i do ? i'm so ...
A. 11 October 2011: Do you want to forget him because he has a girlfriend, or is there another reason??
You're not friends anymore, and if he has a girlfriend and you were intimate with him, you can't be just friends with him anymore. It doesn't work that way.
... (read in full...)
Why do I feel hurt that he thinks it's normal to go to a strip club/pole dancing at a stag party?
Q. The subject of my fiancee going to a stag weekend where there they go to a strip club/pole dancing came up (we're together a year). He said he wouldn't think of going twice and what was the big deal. I was shocked at his reaction. He was then ...
A. 11 October 2011: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a stag party for singles, hence the term "stag"??
But let's put that aside for a moment, because there's something you said in your post that's a whole lot more important than even him going to a stag party.
... (read in full...)
We are in love, but is she back with her boy toy?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a woman who is 42. I am 43. We have only seen each other 3times in the last 7 months and had sex on two of those occasions. I love her and she says she loves me completely. However a few weeks ago her ...
A. 11 October 2011: WHAT?!
Cheating is cheating is cheating!!!
Man up and walk away. You already know this. Don't sell yourself short. You are still virile at your age, even more so.
Find someone better. That won't be hard to do.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is just too emotional and needy and I cant handle it anymore, but I don't want to leave her in ths state either.....
Q. Patience with my girlfriend is wearing thin. All she ever does nowadays is complain about everything, she rarely asks me how I am, and if I have a problem she usually just tells me it's nothing or she just doesn't listen at all as if my issues don...
A. 11 October 2011: Holy crap! Angel is right. You cannot fix her. You cannot save her, and you are not responsible for her happiness or unhappiness.
Maybe you're so used to this treatment, but I've gotta tell you...if a guy drove 800km to see me on my birthday... (read in full...)
We messed around and ended up having oral sex, now he isnt answering any of my calls or texts! I've never felt so cheap in my entire life!
Q. I had known my friend and her brother for almost 7 years, and although I wasn't as close to him when we were younger (due to the 3 yr difference) I used to have a big crush on him. After years of not talking, we messaged each other back and forth on ...
A. 11 October 2011: Heh. This may be hindsight, but if a guy ever mentions that he put you through "tests", run like hell! It's not his place to test you, and who does he think he is, anyways?
The answer here is in the fact that he just got out of a long term rel... (read in full...)
Over-reaction? "what girl did he get this from?" Suddenly he's lifted his game in the bedroom. Should I be worried that he may be cheating?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or I should be worried. When it comes to sex with my long-distance boyfriend, he's always been really simple/traditional/I'm not sure what to call it. Foreplay isn't much of a factor, barely any kissing, and we alwa...
A. 11 October 2011: It could be porn, it could be the internet, as Marie says.
Now, if he calls out another woman's name while he's having sex with you, *then* be nervous.
However, him acting 100% different in bed would cause me to take pause as well, but not en... (read in full...)
Is he lying? Says his kiss meant nothing. But my friends say he talks about me non-stop. Is he smitten?
Q. So this boy kisses me, and then when I try to question him about it, as I like him, he tells me it's nothing and we'd never be anything. Yet every single one of his friends and my friends say he talks about me non-stop, and stares at me, and gets...
A. 11 October 2011: If the age range you state is correct, and he's the same age group, then the advice is simple.
Don't do anything!
He's gotta make up his own mind. His heart says "Wow", but his hormones say that he wants to chase as much skirt as is humanly po... (read in full...)
I like her and her best friend!
Q. Hey guys... I'm kind of torn at the moment between two girls. One is this crazy, amazing girl that I met, we became friends, like really good friends. Then she started ignoring me. And I became depressed because I had no Idea why. So I ended...
A. 10 October 2011: Well, you can't have them both, and the first girl wasn't interested in a relationship.
It's pretty clear that you only have two options.
1. See how things pan out with the best friend.
or
2. Forget both of them and consider other girls... (read in full...)
Ex has new gf but is still contacting me
Q. Hey, I need some help with my ex... We'd been together 3 years and split up a month ago. Since then he has been in regular contact with me (several times a week) just to see how I am and if I'm getting on etc. He also kept asking to meet up, which I ...
A. 9 October 2011: You two were dating long term before your breakup, and he met her right afterwards. What he has is a rebound thing, and he isn't over you yet.
Bottom line is -- he needs to decide what he wants, because his seeing you and talking to you like... (read in full...)
I have this nasty habit of making fun of girlfriend's class. People, please help me get rid of this nasty habit?
Q. I am deeply in love with this gorgeous girl and we have been in a relationship for ten years. I was born in a rich family and hardly made myself sweat for anything I wanted my life whereas she’s middle class but with decent education background ...
A. 9 October 2011: Interesting. You are so unbelievably threatened by this girl because she has what you don't have. In one sense, you do care about her, or you wouldn't have donated your kidney to her.
But you are so threatened by her and so insecure in your own... (read in full...)
I would try and find a j ob if we could move in together...
Q. I am married but want to leave my wife and leave home. I have met a woman who lives many miles from me. We would love to live together but she does not earn enough for us to live. I am unemployed at the moment but would try and find a job if we ...
A. 9 October 2011: Yeah, you should move out. I'm guessing that if you've been cheating on your wife, are unemployed, and your wife is supporting you, she'd want you out as fast as possible.
You should try and find a job regardless if you move in with this new girl... (read in full...)
He spends hours talking about his ex. What do I make of this?
Q. My partner spent four hours talking about his ex yesterday. About how they broke the bed by having so much sex, about how her butt is just amazing etc but also how she was annoying, and caused fights. So it wasn't all praise but just a long, LONG ...
A. 9 October 2011: I read this through twice. Of course, the knee jerk reaction is to wonder why she's on his mind like this. However, after thinking about it, I think I might know what's going on here.
He broke up with her 10 years ago. He's been with you 5. ... (read in full...)
Am I shrinking or is she getting loose?
Q. so the other day me and my girlfriend was having sex.. it seems as thought she is getting really loose now.. i gotta admit im a pretty small guy and i am pretty small down there, but now it seems like i can't really feel her as much as i use to..and ...
A. 9 October 2011: Actually, the opposite is true.
A "blank stare" might just mean that she's really getting into it...a kind of nirvana, so to speak.
Like someone said earlier, it's probably more like she's getting better lubed, meaning she's getting a lot mo... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time finding a boyfriend. Why arn't guys attracted to me, they same way they are to my friends?
Q. I am 20 years old and I have having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I live away from home at my university and when I go out to bars, my friends have no problem picking up guys or getting guys to dance with them. I do not think I am unfortunate ...
A. 9 October 2011: Bars are good at attracting bedmates and players. Maybe you'd do much better in a different place than a bar in meeting people.... (read in full...)
I feel like my faith in men is non existent right now! It seems that jerks always win!
Q. I was seeing someone for about a couple of months. But he dumped me by text, coz he "wanted to be single". I said I deserve better and that's your loss. Months later he apologized and said he made a mistake etc etc. He asked to meet me for coffee. ...
A. 9 October 2011: You know what? Everything you said is true. Of course you'd like to give him a piece of your mind, and of course you know he's missed out on a good thing.
But why would you, a real woman, waste a single breath, keystroke, syllable, or second o... (read in full...)
It just feels like Groundhog Day everyday I'm around my b/f and life is just passing me by
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 6 months. Everything was perfect at first, thought I'd found my dream guy, there was a real connection like I'd never had before. My feelings just grew stronger and stronger. We were inseperable, happier than we'd both ...
A. 9 October 2011: So, it's his family, his exes (if I'm reading between the lines when you say "other girls") and his friends becoming intrusive baggage into your relationship, and he's being very complacent when it comes to their souring your relationship with ... (read in full...)
I feel like my faith in men is non existent right now! It seems that jerks always win!
Q. I was seeing someone for about a couple of months. But he dumped me by text, coz he "wanted to be single". I said I deserve better and that's your loss. Months later he apologized and said he made a mistake etc etc. He asked to meet me for coffee. ...
A. 9 October 2011: He may be a jerk, but he's also a moron and *very* unhappy. Don't let this idiot ruin your faith in men, because guess what? He's not a real man. Real men don't hide behind text to break up with girls. Real men don't flake out. Real men don't ... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: No! She's teasing you! A woman who honestly liked you wouldn't even begin to treat you like this! She's playing you! Walking around naked and telling you she's not a "ho"?
Getting you to initiate sex, then when you do, she stops you, and when... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: Everyone's right. She wants to control you sexually. This stems from a deep hatred for men. She wants power over you, and right now, you're giving it to her.
Think about it. If she was so worried about ruining the friendship, she would ne... (read in full...)
Does anyone think the law not allowing 16 year olds an younger to have sex will stop anyone?
Q. Just want to clarify, I don't want to have sex. I just think its unrealistic. Do you think it'll stop anyone? No one will call the police. Especially if their both underage. I know why its there and all, but I also know a pregnant eighth grader. T...
A. 9 October 2011: Like I said, that varies state to state. Most of the time, if both are underage, as long as one isn't under the age of either 10 or 12, usually it's not legally prohibited for two underage kids to have sex. A very dumb idea? Absolutely.
Sex i... (read in full...)
I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life ending my affair. Don't want to be hated. But how do I make this work out right?
Q. Hi, not sure how to start this but hoping to get some good advice. I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 4 and last year i had an affair for 3 months with a woman who is friends with one of my friends. There was a connection from ...
A. 7 October 2011: You make it sound like you've been married to your wife for 30 years. In reality, it's only been 4. If you're already talking about only marrying her out of obligation, and it was the "right thing to do", then you need to end it now.
As for your... (read in full...)
Love bites: sexy or disgusting?
Q. Love bites, "hickeys", do you like giving them? Do you like receiving them? Do you find them a turn on or romantic? Or do you think they're silly or a way of "marking your territory"? Do you think they're hot or just plain gross? ...
A. 7 October 2011: Sometimes it's accidental. I've always tried to be mindful of that and not leave any in a visible area.
My husband and I while we were just beginning dating got carried away, and he left one accidentally in a very conspicuous place. He was more... (read in full...)
Caught boyfriend sending gay emails to other men, now what?
Q. I honestly don't know where to go from here. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and we recently bought a condo together. Long story short, I was moving my stuff in one weekend and needed to use his laptop to check my email w...
A. 7 October 2011: NO way on the face of the earth is this a prank!!!!
He's gay and is using you for cover.
Imagine if you had seen these "very sexual" emails written by him to another woman?? Would you have hesitated in the least bit in calling him out ... (read in full...)
Mother putting me under "house arrest" because of HER bad behavior!
Q. Hello Readers! Earlier today my [separated] parents went to court because an incident happened last week where my mother was not letting me [19yrs old] and my 12 year old brother in the house. That was not the first time we were "kicked out" of ...
A. 7 October 2011: Your mom has issues, which I'm thinking you're thinking that that's the understatement of the year.
You are an adult. You have the ability to move out at will. You also have the ability to take out a student loan or apply for grants dependin... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating with his cousin
Q. hi dear cupid, good day! until now i don't really trust my husband. i always have doubts in my mind wherever he go and whatever he does.i have doubts that they still contacting with each other with his ex girlfriend which is his 2nd cousin.p...
A. 7 October 2011: Right now, all you have are suspicions of what's going on. You have a hunch, which are never to be ignored. However, you need to do some quiet investigation rather than outright confrontation and accusation. If you confront more without proof, ... (read in full...)
Her negative comments about cheerleading really bothered me. Do I have a right to be angry?
Q. Ok so do I have a right to be angry? I am trying out for cheer. Well, I tried out today (haven't gotten results) but this event takes place before then. So I tried out for freshman cheer, and at my school we have three clinic days where we learn the ...
A. 7 October 2011: CaringGuy is absolutely right on the money with this one.
She's *terrified* of losing you as a friend, because she believes that she's not good enough to fit in with the cheerleader clique, and she feels that if you become one, you'll drop her... (read in full...)
Does anyone think the law not allowing 16 year olds an younger to have sex will stop anyone?
Q. Just want to clarify, I don't want to have sex. I just think its unrealistic. Do you think it'll stop anyone? No one will call the police. Especially if their both underage. I know why its there and all, but I also know a pregnant eighth grader. T...
A. 7 October 2011: You're from the US. The law varies state to state.
To be broad, if you are 13 and had sex with someone who was 14, it's not against the law. If you're 14 and had sex with someone who was 18, that would be statutory rape, because as a minor, y... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to tell a friend that you don't want to be friends anymore??
Q. We were amazing friends then stuff happened and she rejected me, and now I'm totally over it. She still wants to be friends, I don't really need her in my life anymore and i just don't really care anymore. Shes a difficult person to be friends wi...
A. 7 October 2011: How about:
D. Tell her that your feelings for her and the pain at her response to your feelings makes it impossible for you to be just friends with her. Tell her that that might change in the future, but you don't know. For now, you need time to ... (read in full...)
How do I show my boyfriend how much I appreciate his kindness to me?
Q. Today my boyfriend bought a computer for me knowing I desperately needed for my college. I have spent most of my time at the library, I don't have to now, thank-you to him! I said thank-you so many times today, I feel I can't say it enough. I have ...
A. 7 October 2011: Make him feel as special as you do. You can do that without money. I'm guessing that you already are making him feel special like that.
Like GhostChild said, he sounds like a keeper. And I'm thinking that your boyfriend feels the same way abou... (read in full...)
How should I control my jealously and this shock that my girlfriend defeated me in a game of soccer?
Q. Six months back, I started teaching Soccer to my girlfriend. We have been together two years. Two days ago, we had one-to-one match and I got shocked to death that she beat me by 6 goals to 3, out smarting me in every aspect of the game. It got ...
A. 6 October 2011: I echo everyone else on here! Her beating you means that you were an excellent teacher. Rather than get pissed off and pout for 2 days, look st her accomplishment as a result of your skills as a soccer player and a teacher.
Not only that, bu... (read in full...)
Is it bad to feel jealous of the excitement of a new relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, we both love and respect each other, I want to spend all my time with him and I know he feels the same way. However, recently my best friend from university met someone on holiday. I lived with her ...
A. 3 October 2011: Did you say that your friend and this new guy of hers have only been together for 2 weeks? Something seems kinda off. Two weeks and they're already publicly writing "I love you" messages all over Facebook, and huge "xxxxxx's" and calling each ... (read in full...)
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