A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF? I know I'd want to know if my BF was meeting his ex. But I'm thinking guys don't care that much. What's the proper way to deal with this?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Just ask yourself -- would you want your boyfriend's old "love of his life" to catch up with him amd meet just the two of them??
Old exes aren't the same as old platonic friends. Out of respect for the current relationship, leave the past in the past. Nostalgia and past love are toxic when you're in a committed relationship.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Usually nothing good comes of meetings like this, except to stoke up old feelings that are best left behind.
I would definitely let your boyfriend know. If he finds out that you went to see your ex on the sly, he'll never trust you again. Despite your assumptions, most guys DO care when their women go out to meet former flames.
Finally, I think you need to ask yourself what you hope to gain from this meeting and how much emotional turmoil will it cause. Ex's are ex's for a reason and there's no sense in ruining what you have with your current boyfriend over this mini-reunion.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): Your ex wants to catch up. But does that mean you want to catch up with him too? If so, I mean you should casually tell your boyfriend but you should be non chalant about it. Make it seem like it is not a big deal. If you get all nervous about it or act like you have to tell him something really important then he will probably get nervous about it and become suspicious, naturally.You could casually say that an ex boyfriend contacted you and would like to get together and see how he reacts. You could reassure him that it is platonic and you see it like getting back in touch with an old friend. Invite him along even.But ultimately your relationship now is more important than the old flame. So if it is cool with your boyfriend and your ex is someone you would like to reconnect with then go for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): If you think guys don't care about that kinda thing then either your guy doesn't or you're very much inexperienced with men's real feelings.If my girlfriend started to get in touch with her ex, especially if it were 'the love of her life' i would be seething inside and i'm not a jealous man in the slightest.It would be that i know how some men think and if i was that man to meet my long lost love i would be at least be thinking about all the good times we shared and there's probably a good reason he wants to see you again, because he still wants you even if it's subconciously, the feelings are still there somwhere.my ex was the love of my life and i had to sever any chance of friendship i could have with her because i know it would put my current relationship in trouble and i know my current girlfriend would be mad.If you want to 'catch up' with this guy then i suggest you do it when you are single, otherwise what are you going to expect from him, a drink or a meal occasionally, a 1 off chat perhaps? if you can do that in front of your current BF like the other reader suggested then i highly doubt it's going to be comfortable for anyone.
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Love this quote, and we should always keep it in mind regarding the past:
"When the past calls, send it to voicemail. It doesn't have anything new to say."
I doubt your ex is any different, otherwise he wouldn't be an EX.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (21 September 2011):
How comes you don't think that guys don't care that much? You should ask him and see.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Ask your boyfriend to go along with you when you meet up with the old flame.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Tell your BF - otherwise if he finds out afterwards he will feel hurt.
If he cares for you then he will care about it just as much as you would
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