A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I got into an argument like 2 weeks ago, said we weren't going to see each other but we ended up seeing each other and getting back together.We have been going out for 4 years now. Anyways, I'm confused and annoyed and angry because he doesn't appreciate me, never takes me out, he says we will go out to dinner but instead calls me up everyday yawning and talking all drowsy claiming he is tired. He does this especially when we have plans just so he can ditch them. On Friday(yesterday) he just decides to get angry at me for no reason over the phone, not really angry but it seemed like he was itching for a fight. He still hasn't contacted me and it is Saturday night. I am sick of this bull shit and I will just ignore him. I do not want to contact him and look like the desperate loser making the first move to contact.How can you just ignore someone and not contact them. Even if he does try to contact me im over this relationship. In his mind he seems me as always being there for him and just using me. To me that is a big hell no! Its just crazy how someone can treat someone(me) like that after all that I did for him and cared and loved him. Never cheated on him and was always a loyal caring good goood goooooooooooood best girlfriend anyone can ask for. It sucks to feel this way!What are your opinions on this and what should I do? Should I just stick to my gut about ignoring him if there is contact? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 September 2011):
 How in God's name does ignoring someone ever fix a situation? No way, no how. Do you think that by ignoring him, you will get what you want, he'll all of a sudden interpret your silence correctly, come to where you are, apologize in all the right ways for all the right things, and then suddenly he's the perfect boyfriend?
Nope.
So are you interested in results, or petty punishment that leaves him open to interpreting your silence as a breakup so that he'll go out and find someone else before formally ending things with you?
No temper tantrum and no silent treatment has ever solved anything. In fact, from what this is sounding like, you ignoring him is exactly what he wants you to do, because it sounds like he's wanting to break up anyways.
You need to contact him and spell out how you are feeling. The end result will most likely be that you break up, but this is the mature way of handling things.
You need to explain calmly (and give specific examples) of how you're feeling. Then you need to listen to him. When he starts talking, don't get into the habit of talking over him and interrupting him. Listen calmly, then act on what you both have said. If it's a break up, do it clean. If it's not, you both need to talk out feelings and how you can improve your relationship.
But getting pissed and ignoring is not going to ever give you satisfaction, nor will it ever bring you results. Don't make a guy "chase" after you in order to massage your bruised ego. You must be above that.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 September 2011):
 No don't play games. Either end things or don't. If he blows you off all the time and is picking fights with you all the time, he is being a coward and trying to make you end things. And you should. Don't ignore him, don't play little games, just end things and move on.
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