A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I posted this the other night and got only 2 replies so i thought i would try at a different time of day to see if i can get more opinions... Do you think a man can love you if he sleeps with his ex within weeks of you splitting? And then meeting another, 10 yrs older than him, and uses them for sex then tells you he isn't interested in them for anything but sex. He smokes dope with her which he never did when I was with him! He was always anti-drugs. He takes her to the same restaurant we both loved? Then he tells me on the other hand, he still loves me and always will. He says he is using this person to bounce off of because everyone needs someone to bounce off of to restore their confidence (when we split i was a bit nasty and told him the sex was crap too) and he would have me back in a flash.How would you interpret all of this?Because to me its just made me realise i had a lucky escape, but is this what men do after?
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confidence, his ex, smokes Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Same thing happened with me i was with my babys father over a year, we have been split up 4months now, have a 8month old baby, he got with another soon after...To me it just goes to shows people that don't give themself a break after a breakup have some serious issues, their insecure, low self eastem and can't be on there own, and untill they can learn to be by themselfs, they will NEVER be happy with anyone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Well I am sorry to say he sounds like a Scum Bag. There are a lot of guys out there that don't do drugs and fuck other girlz to get back on track.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 I would say good bye to this person. Not all men do this. Some use sex as a way to forget, just as alcohol would help some, or for many women I always hear chocolate. They all take your mind off things. He could see sleeping with his ex as not a big deal. Kind of like "I've had her before so what does it matter if I have her again."Everyone needs someone to bounce off of. NOT TRUE. No one can restore confidence. That's up to him to deal with himself. What he told you is just an excuse. It sounds to me as if this person is someone who has some issues. One of which is taking responsibility for his actions. I don't think this is a good match for anyone. Until his issues are dealt with, he won't have the capability to give himself to you or anyone else without bringing the drama with him.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (9 September 2007):
 Hi. No not all men do this. Some people do, female and male. I also keep reminding myself that I had a "lucky escape" - although some days it doesn't feel like it.Back to you - it sounds like you are still suffering the aftershock and have many questions going around in your mind. Unfortunately there is no answer to these questions. People behave like they do for their own emotional needs. You haven't mentioned why you split up. You might find it helpful to write this down or post here. Sharing your thoughts and concerns is therapeutic, irrespective of the reason for the break up. Regards
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A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 There is no blanket definition of how males or females behave.......everyone makes choices whicjever sex they are, and some are not choices that we find acceptable.If its in the past, learn from it, but switch off and move on.......you deserve better!!!
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