A
female
age
36-40,
*ate21
writes:why am i so jealous?ive been seeing my boyfriend now for 1year and 4 months and i cant help but get really jealous when he talks to his female friends or any woman.i know i shouldnt be acting like this but i can help myself getting so worked up!what should i do?
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female
reader, neonpinkngooey  +, writes (8 September 2007):
 You can get to know his friends a little better, hang out with them. Treat them like your own. Then, you will see that there's really nothing to worry about.And when you feel jealous, try concentrating on something else. Read a book, watch TV. or talk on the phone with a friend, and ask your friend to help you get your mind off it. Something along those lines..
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 September 2007):
 Discuss it with your boyfriend. Let him know you have some issues and what might be causing you to react that way. Most of the time jealous behavior stems from your own self esteem. That you have to work on. Realize, unless he has given you a reason not to trust him, it's not OK to distrust.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (8 September 2007):
You need to remember that he chose you as his girlfriend. You must believe you are worthy and that you picked him becauase he really loves you. You can't follow him everwhere and fight off all temptations he may encounter.You are not God but you cant find a replacement if you find out you made a bad choice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Well assuming you two have been faithful and are in a good relationship (he treats you good and all) then you have to convince yourself that you are great and that he is great and that he loves you and won't hurt you. I mean what are you worried about? That he is going to cheat on you? Or that he likes other girls more? Like I said, if he is good to you then accept that he loves you and is not going to hurt you. The whole female friends thing is the only thing that I can see you being reasonably upset about. I personally DO NOT like my bf's to have female "friends." I think it's weird. And I don't tolerate it. (With a few exceptions). And I like my bf to show me proper respect when he has any interaction with other females. That is NOT too much to ask for and a guy who loves you would agree completely. Is he flirty? I mean either you are just paranoid or he is giving you good reason to be paranoid, and in this case I see a little of both. Maybe he is a little too interested in other girls (even as friends) for you to feel comfortable with. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it so who can blame you? As for you, you need to stop being jealous because it is not worth it (it never is, no matter what) and as for him, you need to rationally think about whether he is being respectful of your feelings as a woman who is his girlfriend. If not, then maybe you should make some male friends of your own and talk to other men with the same interest that he talks to other women with. And hopefully you can meet someone that won't make you feel so insecure and paranoid.
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