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My boyfriend wants a break, but I'm worried he will split with me for good?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I (both in college) have been dating for about 7.5 months now. I've had other boyfriends before but he's the first one I've felt strongly about; strongly enough to tell him how I felt. Just lately, we've been drifting. So we decided on a break (not to see other people but see less of one another). I have a feeling that this break might not help and that it would just give him more time to find the courage to break up with me. I want to keep going with our relationship because to me, it doesn't feel like anything's going bad... except that he might not feel the same way about me. He did tell me that he did love me but also said that it made things complicated when I told him I loved him. I don't know what to do.

I'm a wreck!

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A female reader, DeliaD United States +, writes (4 July 2008):

DeliaD agony auntHey you guys got back together? Thats awesome! What did you end up doing? please tell me. Im kind of going through something similar... :o) much love!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We did go on a break and it was good. He needed space and I found out that I needed it too. It was good coming back after the space. We became closer and more appreciative with each other.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007):

Hey..im going through the same problem myself. My boyfriend told me he wanted a break. He is currently out of the country, visiting his family and says we will talk about things when he gets back. I am very upset about it, cos just before he left...everything was going fine. We had the occasional arguments but I was very good to him. I am going to give him the space he wants...Whatever is your will truly come back to you.

One things..DONT beg him to be with you..trust me. No matter how tempting....just let him be for a while..occupy yourself with stuff...and dont go on lookinf for a rebound boyfriend. I personally im tired of going through heartbreaks and if this ends, I am just going to guard my heart and stay off guys....face my studies and friends. I am only 20, there is that guy, (my husband) who will come at the right time.

Sweetie, just give him space..its hurts and its hard...but do so.

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A female reader, Jualsy Spain +, writes (9 September 2007):

Jualsy agony auntWhat can you do, but accept the situation as it is?? He wouldn't be in favour of a break if you meant the world to him....think about it. It doesn't mean that things are over, but that he wants a taste of freedom for a while.....you cannot deprive him of that, if that is what he wants. It might be good for you too!

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (9 September 2007):

Both in college means different colleges? Far away colleges? If so, then this is actually a natural time that relationships end. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it is truth. You'll both get busy with your lives and planning for future careers, it will be hard for you to maintain a relationship that isn't on the same campus.

Take the break, or backing off, but let him know how you feel about him frequently. It might keep him from completely splitting if he at least knows you're still just as interested in him as you were before the break.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (9 September 2007):

rcn agony auntThese questions are very difficult to answer. I don't know you, or what's going on with him. Initially I'd have you ask him what's really going on, in other words (who is she). But that may not be the correct assumption. At times people may need a break. If there life is all ready presenting them with a lot to do, stress could be a factor. Fear of getting too close to protect self from getting hurt could be one. Past trauma such as being cheated on, abused, dumped etc. could play in this. Thinking he's too young for a permanent commitment could be it as well. The list goes on and on and on. Without personally knowing you, your relationship and your boyfriend, I wouldn't be able to pinpoint the possible cause, but there are some suggestions.

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