A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I left the father of my son and partner of 6yrs for my childhood sweetheart who after 3 months broke my heart for the second time. I then went on to find myself a new man, which I might add is totally in love with me and I love him to bits, minus our arguments and fall-outs. I am my new partners first love and I am 6yrs his senior. I gave up my house to live with him at his request. The thing is I keep thinking about my childhood sweetheart and know that if I went to him he'd have me in a heartbeat. (g.friend or not) To make a long story short, my childhood sweetheart didn't like the fact I had a new man when he come back for a third time and told me to make a choice. I obviously chose my new man. But I can,t get my childhood sweetheart out my head. I keep thinking of how well we got along and how we click. There is this certain vibe very time we see each other. have I made the right choice or am I meant to be with my childhood sweetheart? I am so confused. Please help?? xx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 You don't and won't. My first is unfortunately best friends now with my ex-wife. That was interesting when I was being questioned about that experience. Your first time will always be a big part of who you are. There's not many times you get to experience something and not have the same experience again.
I know how you feel. I was really in love with a girl. We had a slight age difference. I was in my mid 30's she was in her low 20's. Everyone told me we should go out. We would hand out, chat for hours. She's getting married to someone else. Out of my love for her, I had to let her go. She was still finding herself, and wanted to attend college to get a degree we didn't offer here. I helped her realize she was afraid to leave the state to pursue her dreams. She found I was right, set a date and left. I couldn't be selfish, and I know if I would have physically dated her, it would have interfered with her dreams. I wouldn't have been a good person to her, if I had. Sometimes you have to let someone go out of your love for them. They'll always be part of you, and you never know, different time, different place, the situation may change. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your help, i dont know if this is a mental thing but since i have read all your comments,now when i think of my childhood sweetheart i mostly now think, you've made the right choice.dont go back. thanks too u all. and im hoping i will eventually stop thinking of him altogther and enjoy my new relationship(as it ant far to my new partner)... the saying is true tho isnt it u never forget your first(good or bad) xx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 September 2007):
If it was me you're referring too, what I mean is this: History repeats its self when it comes to behaviors people have. If he broke your heart two times before, he will do it again. He's not worth your time. He hurt you and it looks as if he's OK with that. He's going to take what he wants, and if you keep on giving, he'll keep taking. You need to stop it, and tell him you are too important to allow him to treat you the way he has. That you are not willing to let him do it again.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 September 2007):
There's no answer that can help your situation. It's your decision. No one can help you to make the right one, or prompt you to make the wrong one. You're confused. You need to find yourself, and decide what you are really looking for in a partner. I will say, he broke your heart not once but twice. Are you trying to make a new record on how many times one person can break your heart? The saying goes "the first time it's his fault, the second time it's yours because you took him back. If his behavior didn't change the other two times, you can figure out the ending of how the third time would end up.
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A
male
reader, Say It Straight +, writes (4 September 2007):
Hi,
Youre romantisizing about your childhood sweetheart, he isn't exactly what you think he is and obviously not good for you, when youre together you end up breaking up and when youre apart you want him.
Move on and at least give this new guy a chance, remember you are messing up his life as well, this childhood sweetheart has broken up your six year marriage and your childs family and is now attempting to break up your next relationship as well, something should be telling you that you are childhood friends but don't work together, keep it as that and set a boundary that you will not allow him across.
Sometimes our own worst enemys are ourselves, think about those other people around you for a bit especially your child.
Take off those rose tinted specticals, sorry if this sounds hard.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you for your advice, but to my male advicer, i dont actually understand what you mean??
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A
male
reader, mesoreal +, writes (3 September 2007):
 you obviously want to live in a world of pain, and that is what you are doing to yourself. ask you (or your therapist) why you are doing this before your child repeats your mistakes in their own life
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Huh? You get along so well with your childhood sweetheart, and yet, he broke your heart twice? Is that what you are telling us?
If so, it would be very unwise to go back to him.
Come to think of it, even if you didn't get on well, and he upset you unbearably twice, and then wanted the opportunity to make you miserable a third time (which is what it sounds like) you'd be very foolish to take up with him again....
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