A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met up with an old love interest of mine recently.I had to end the relationship a year ago, for her sake as well as my own. It wouldn't of been possible to have had a relationship back then, as much as I wanted to stay I had to go away.But things have changed... I have changed. I love her just as much now as I did then. The problems are that I live 4 hours away from her, I don't mind the drive to see her on weekends, i've done it before but she is young and I feel she would not want the long distance relationship so soon.She also has an exciting part of her life ahead of her too, I would only get in the way of the social life involved, it's not like it hasn't happened before.Even if they were overcome there would still be the problem of trust. I promised I would not leave her, I would not hurt her like she had been before, I had to break those promises. How can I now promise this time that I won't go away like I did before? I love this girl, she's fantastic and what's more I feel at... peace. I don't know what to do, I want to tell her how I feel and to be with her but forming such a bond again only to have it smashed is something I don't want to go through again.So do I tell her how I feel, or do I stop it before I go any further.Hopefully the above carries some sort of clarity. I'd appreciate any comments or view on this. Thanks.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (8 September 2007):
 Get a piece of paper and write the pro's on one side and the cons on the other. Your question is complicated. You want her, but don't want to interfere with her growth. That's what I would do. Write the pro's and cons out. If the list says tell her, do it, if it says nows not the right time, it probably isn't. Either way, keep a good friendship with her, that's more important than any physical relationship. And if it's not the right time now, it may turn out to be the right time down the road. If you choose the friendship route. Keep showing her you'll be there for her. The bond will begin developing on its own. And if you get the chance to really sit down and talk with her. Discuss what happened in the past. Not to bring up old feelings, but so you can explain to her why it had to end then from your side, and (all though not an excuse) let her know you were extremely hurt by having to end it in the past.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (8 September 2007):
Tried the long distance romance several times. It's hard but I finally succeeded. One is all it takes.
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