A
male
age
41-50,
*ikucomp
writes:I have a pregnant ex girlfriend who may be seeing someone else. She won't even discuss us or getting back together. She just says it's over and I need to get used to the fact. Is it just hormones? Most of my guy friends think she has someone else and that is why she may be acting this way. I have confronted her/asked her and she doesn;t deny it. She says if I keep pushing she'll go out and meet someone. Then all she does is get upset and say it is irrelevent what we do since we are not together. Is that girl code for Yes she is with someone else? I just want to be prepared and dont want my family and I to be surprised at the hospital nor do I want to keep paying her bills if she has someone else who can do that. With that said I am still more than willing to pay for anything with the child, but just not her personal finances like I've been doing when she has a new boyfriend who can do that. Thoughts?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 September 2007):
 My first thought is STOP PAYING HER PERSONAL BILLS. If she says it's over, the personal payments need to stop. I would have to say yes she is seeing someone else, and no she is not seeing someone else. She may just feel, as she said, none of your business. For the both of you, the best thing you can do is give them space. Crowding them ruins every chance you have at mending the relationship. Think of this in the way of giving respect. You may not be with them now because they feel you lacked respect and love for them, so crowding them, what impression does that send.Now if this is your child, watch what you do now. You don't want to have harassment charged against you. If you don't get back together you have a custody case coming up. Don't lessen your opportunities. You don't want them to restrict your visitation because you acted inappropriately in this situation.Also take a good look into why you split up in the first place. It's usually not all the girls fault. We play a role too. Look at it this way: "In which way did I become too comfortable with my actions in the relationship which the changes, i didn't understand were happening, would have a negative affect on our relationship. See, us guys can hang, drink beer and watch tv, but for some reason girls need more from us than just a buddy to hang with. I want you to know, I'm not a counselor who just gives advise. I have lived what you're going through now. 7 years ago I lost the love of my life by not only what I didn't do in my relationship, but by the beliefs I brought over from past bad relationships. Find out what your part was, if you don't, your contribution will mess up your next relationship as well. Once you do, I bet you'll be as apologetic as I was with my ex. I was stunned, and disappointed in who I was, and could actually pinpoint different slight changes I could have done while we were together, which we would still be together. You guys take care, and I hope everything works out for you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): i am in the same situation,the she has even reported me for harasment dont text or call me.its so weird.dont even wanna see me two and a half months now ,i dont even understand is it the hormones or is she seeing someone else??someone please say somethiing .......
man staying strong :-)
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hmmmm i can see your point.
Obviously you have an obligation at the moment, if the babe is yours.
I would just come outight and ask her 'are you seeing someone else because you seem to avoid the question??' or something like that.
If she just doesnt want to get back together, there isnt a lot you can do about that. I would be surprised if hormones would take things that far.
But you have a right to know, if you are footing the bills for things you shouldnt be.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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