A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just found out I'm pregnant - I did a test last week and it said yes, I'm scared but that isn't the issue here.I don't really have any symptoms except feeling bloated [I only took a test because I'm 3 weeks late] does this mean I'll miscarry? Because I was on a website and it said that it might happen because of that.Well me and my boyfriend split up last night [after being together 2 and a half years] we're going to talk on the phone later so there is a possibilty we will get back together even though he's saying we're still together but he needs time to think. It's because he's been getting phone calls saying I'm cheating on him when I'm not! And I've never had sex with anyone but him. He's taking the phone calls out on me and I'm devastated we might split up and I've been crying all night and all today. Will how I'm feeling effect the baby?If we do split up how the hell am I going to tell him I'm pregnant? I really don't want to be a single mum but I don't want an abortion either.Please help me because I don't even know how I'm going to tell my family. I'm going to make an appointment at the Doctors tomorrow morning to see when they can fit me in to see how far pregnant I am, and if everything is ok. If I waited till the first scan to make sure everythings ok then tell him would that be a good idea? [even if we're still together]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): i am 16th and i have not been on from 3 months what will i do
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 September 2007):
 You just need to let him know what's going on. Not telling him is dishonest, and may sway his decision in being together to not being together. Pregnancy is a big deal for the fathers too ,and not just the mother. I would be extremely hurt and devalued if someone held out from telling me I may be a father.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (9 September 2007):
Just tell him the truth. You'll need to tell him eventually. If he is so unsure, agree to have a DNA test when the baby is born, unless there is a way to do it before you have the baby. It still may look like you are trying to change his mind and this is a very sensitive situation. I'll leave it up to you to tell him before or after he makes a decision.
And yes, this could affect the baby. You are going through a stressful time and it wears on your own body. In order to prevent such wear and tear, it could trigger a miscarriage.
As for your family, you pretty much have to tell them too and it it is better to do it sooner than later. Think about it and what you could say to them, then do it in the next few days after you see the doctor and get his advice on everything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): I don't want a miscarriage. It's just I don't want to tell him and him thinking I'm doing it to change his opinion on what he needs to do I thought that might make it worse. And I am being honest that I've never cheated on him, and I don't want anyone else either.
But thanks and I do understand what you mean.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Why are you thinking of not telling him until you find out that you aren't going to miscarry? Sounds like there may indeed be a possibility it's not his. Otherwise I don't understand why you'd even consider not telling him especially since you're on the verge of breaking up. What if you wait 2 months to tell him and he's met someone else by then? Don't you think you owe your child a chance at a real family? I just read that you're 16 or 17. I doubt he's going to be ready to be a father, but you have to at least give him the option. Sit down with him, and discuss all your options with the pregnancy and the relationship and do it now. Your chances of miscarriage aren't any higher than anyone else's. I am 3 months pregnant and I have no symptoms either except for being bloated, as the same with my last pregnancy. So do not count on having a miscarriage and not having to deal with this.
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