A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been dating the same girl for 5 years now. the relationship is very unhealthy. we only have dinner and have sex about once a week (typical date night for us) we live seperate lives and have nothing in common. however we love each other very very much. I have recently started a job and have meet a woman who has totally got me thinking about leaving my gf. we have tons in common and i belive she is interested in me also but i don't know for sure. should i leave my gf to pursue this relationship or leave it alone and hope the situation fizzles? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): I am in axactly your position. What I have found is you need to tread very very carefully. Dont give up on old relationship before your know for sure, as best as possible where you stand with the "new" girl. Sceptics will argue you are "stringing" both girls along but I beleive you have every right to watch, observe and do absolutely NOTHING until you are sure. Life is short and this new girl may just be the real deal. However, she may fissel out into nothing leaving you totally alone. Maintain a friendship with this "new" girl and see what happens.
This situation is the hardest you will encounter. All the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): i know what you mean i am in a similar boat except there is not another woman i just don't know if i love her all we do is fght and we havenothing in common, and my opinion does not seem to matter what sould i do?????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): definitely, go for the other girl before its too late. it sounds like your current relationship (or lack there of) is dead. there is a reason that other girl came into your life. that is the whole reason you date people anyway ... to see what fits right. If you don't go for the other girl, you will always think "what if." Do it !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): I think if your entirely certain that your relationship is going nowhere, and all the alarm bells are ringing that its just not going to work, then go with your instincts.This new woman might turn out to be the love of your life given the chance, your still young and if you never try, youll never know. In this day and age, too many people stay in run down relationships for security, going with their head and not their heart! I think you should follow your heart, whats the worst that can happen? I say, speak to this other woman , see what she thinks about the way you feel, if she doesnt want anything, then keep things the way they are. nothing lost, nothing gained.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 September 2007):
 If you love your girlfriend, you may just be missing the emotional boat. Relationships need more than just sex and dinner once a week. Love usually comes if there is something in common. Find some things you can do for her to spark the romance. All though people always say to treat people as you would like to be treated. In a relationship it's opposite. Treat her as she would want to be treated. You may not like roses (i don't, they cost a lot and just die), she may love them, so when sparking the romance with her, you get the roses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Relationships take work. If you love your GF then show her and TELL HER what you need. TALK TO HER. Ask her what she wants. Have you considered that she may not be happy to? You should tell her about your crush so that she knows the severity of the relationship and so that you cant harm it. Secrecy kills relationships FAST. You may be surprised to find that she may be willing to work on the relationship to. These are the 12 basic emotional needs. Find your TOP 3 and let your spouse know. Find out what hers are and fill them up. The best way to have our needs satisfied by someone else is by filling someone else’s needs first. Let the love flow. Don’t sabotage it! Affection Sexual Fulfillment Conversation Recreational Companionship Honesty and Openness Physical Attractiveness Financial Support Domestic Support Family Commitment Admiration
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): You know...you take a big risk if you dump the gf for a 'potential' new relationship. You claim to love the current gf. So I ask--why would you leave a solid, settled, mature love for the precarious infatuation of a new gf? Because you want some fun...right? So what does that tell you? It says, that you don't love your gf, in the way she so deserves..that your feelings, wants and desires are more important than hers. If you loved your gf, you couldn't fathom doing what you want to do, hun. If that is the case, I recomment you come clean and make the big break from this gf of yours and get out there and date whomever you want. But at least do the dignified thing and end this relationship with your gf...first. Good luck and happy dating!
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