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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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We've been through more than anyone can imagine, and now, years later, I want to find him again. What should I do?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit of a long story as the saga has been going on for 14 years. I believe in Destiny. I believe in love. I do not understand how it works though, and sometimes I question my sanity. I was 14 years old when I met my first lov...
A. 10 October 2009: True love is a stronger bond than any other. Just had to say that for those who read this and still don't believe in "true love"
Now since your in the place you want to be. Let's talk about Kevin's place. While his marriage is dissolving furt... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 10 August 2009: Your life is only in ruins if you allow it to be. This guy may not be one you're going to end up with, but you have a memorable experience that a very very small percentage of girls can claim. That is having a good first time sexual experience. ... (read in full...)
Would you consider my boyfriend a paedophile because of the age difference?
Q. My boyfriend is about ten years older than me. The thing is, he and his parents are good friends of my mother and father. I've known him my whole life. Would you consider this a violation of trust? Many of my friends have called him a pedoph...
A. 8 August 2009: Do you consider him to be preying on you? You consider him your boyfriend, did he manipulate you into choosing him? A pedophile is someone who's attracted to young girls, and attempt sexual contact for no other reason than the fact that they are ... (read in full...)
How can I distance myself from my toxic Sister?
Q. I have an older sister. We're 3 years apart. We spent a lot of our younger years (before she was 10) being really close. Then, when I was in high school and my first few years of college, we became close again; even closer this times. We partie...
A. 8 August 2009: Great quote, and so true. That's your first step is to break that cycle. I don't doubt that you love your sister, but I believe her issues over the years have greatly expanded, to the point where hanging out with her and even listening to her vent ... (read in full...)
Am I moving to fast in this friendhship?
Q. I'm a very shy guy and don't have many friends and have only dated one girl in my life. We were together for about a year but she ended it and it tore me up but as time has gone by I've gotten over it (2 months now). Anyway a friend of mine s...
A. 7 August 2009: If this worries you, meet for coffee, early, then if everything is going well, suggest the city, and proceed there from coffee. This way you can break the ice, the move in the direction the day takes you. ... (read in full...)
I keep going back to my ex even though I know I need to move on! Any tips?
Q. Hi well my problem is that me and my ex boyfriend where together for four years and that was two years ago we randomly sleep together when we see eachother which i regret after every time. Could you give me some tips on how to let go and stop goi...
A. 7 August 2009: Revenge, for who? I don't personally know a guy who'd consider sex as being revenge against them. Sometimes, especially when you have a diminished self esteem, its easier going back to someone who isn't the best for you than it is to enter into ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being hurt yet I cheat on the good guys, what should I do??
Q. im so over all men. im so sick of being hurt. i have had so many men in my life i cant hold on to them. im not clinggy im not one of those annoying girlfriends like my friends i try to be the oppisite. i always choos the manwhores and then when i ...
A. 5 August 2009: You said you've picked some good guys? You've been cheated on, and sounds like that doesn't produce the greatest feeling for you. Why, if you don't like being hurt, are you passing the pain on to the good guys by doing the same thing others have ... (read in full...)
How do I get it through his head that it's best to wait before we get married? And how long do you normally wait before marriage?
Q. This summer was crazy, and I don't know where to start. Well first, My boyfriend is in army basic training, but because of a medical discharge he's coming back. He's done with the army for two years (his choice if he comes back). But has said he ...
A. 5 August 2009: Fist two questions. When you're ready. There is no normal time to wait before getting engaged or married. I agree, it's not a race, and it's important to get a few things in place first. Don't just do it because he's ready, wait until both of you ... (read in full...)
Don't average people get real love too?
Q. i'm so sad! no one likes me enough for me to be their girl. I met a guy once, but he stopped contacting me after a few dates, another made it clear all he wanted was sex, another was way too clingy and i had to let him down. and so it goes on ...
A. 5 August 2009: Someone wanted just sex, and going out with your friend it hurts your confidence when she gets attention by a whole bunch of guys who just want sex.
Your not going to find love in clubs. OK maybe, but a low chance. Average people get love. If... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: This guy posted for a reason, not for you to develop his post into an argumentative playground.
FOR THE OP: A lot of text, but informative. We've ready, back and forth different opinions from cheating to being an assault victim. It's simple t... (read in full...)
Girls keep trying to stirr things up between me and my boyfriend, but it happened with my ex too! What's going on?!
Q. Boy friend complications its happening all over again..... Now what to do? Please help im scared? Ok, in june I broke up with a guy because he was cheating on me. In may some guy called his law firm and tried to get us fired. I thought it was m...
A. 4 August 2009: You need to call the police, if you haven't done so already. This really needs to be investigated. It seems weird the same thing happening twice. The common element between both times is you. Who is out to make your life miserable? If this was about ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: q1605, I'm not someone who's deflecting. As far as being qualified, my pretty pieces of paper hanging on my wall say I am. I'm a certified behavior analyst, with expertise in trauma related affect, also completing my certificate as a master ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: Yes, it is recommended when someone is raped or cheat, the victim is not the only one who seeks counseling. I've counseled a lot of people, what I've found is candy coating doesn't do anyone any good. I research and work with people who generally ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: I've noticed, levels of sexual assault, domestic violence, and all forms of relationship issues have no cultural boundaries, so the argument about who lives in Texas and who does not lacks relevance. In this situation there were disagreements ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about her, how do I get over my shyess and make a move?
Q. A girl I dated for a few months back during the end of senior year of high school is living in the same house as me. This house really belongs to mutual friends of ours. One of these friends happens to be her best friend whom lets her live there for ...
A. 3 August 2009: I answered this on the 1st, it's now the evening of the 3rd, time for an update. If you haven't done it yet, lets chat more about why? It's past time to make your move with her, so we don't want to waste valuable time or beat around the bush. The ... (read in full...)
Cooking up trouble, we hooked up, I wouldn't go far enough, now he wants nothing to do with me...
Q. Hi, i've been looking for answers to my predicament online, and i found this website--people seem to give actual answers--so i thouhgt i'd give it a shot. i met an older guy (he's 24, I'm 19) at a place i worked for a few months. --long story sho...
A. 3 August 2009: I believe he expected more, and was disappointed that there wasn't. But, that's okay. It's not at all your fault. You're a virgin, which it's nice for you to say "he's not the one." You recognize waiting for that special someone, instead of just ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her that she must move on if she claims he is the love of her life?
Q. My Cousin's fiance left her one day without telling her he was going for good, he told he was going to another city for a job interview. After various excuses and him eventually not coming back home she realised he had left her. Her mom had just ...
A. 3 August 2009: You're fairly sure now he was not innocent of the fraud case.... You know, ultimately you're not going to be able to keep her from making the wrong choice, if she chooses to do so. What I would do is remind her, (1) the fraud (2) defrauding her and ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 3 August 2009: Actually Felisha is right about not giving out personal information. It's for the protection of users, why we don't post personal information, such as email etc. when it's provided. When I've been trusted with personal information, it's been sent to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my dad the secret I've kept for two years?
Q. this question is about family problems.. 0k.. i have a problem.. when i was growing up my dad had ah gurlfriend and they were together for about 7years and they have been seperated for 2 years now and i dont get along with my dad very good becaus...
A. 2 August 2009: This is up to you. Does your dad have to know? Isn't it your choice to remain in contact? I don't see anything wrong with it. Your being in contact is about you not him, just because they're not together, doesn't mean you have to end your ... (read in full...)
He lies and then blames me for finding out!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and i love him a lot. He was a first and I do plan to marry him. One problem though- he lies to me without thinking I know about it. He looks at porn and lies about it, keeps pictures of other gi...
A. 2 August 2009: Let's look at the lying. "Intent to deceive." Why lie about what you're doing? Could be his fear of being look down on. Guilt and not wanting to be found out for his porn watching and google searching. My thought is, if you feel you can't be honest, ... (read in full...)
My "best friend" asked out the girl I like just to spite me..
Q. I'm in love with this girl whose been like my best friend for years, and all my best friends knew about then one of them spitefully asked her out on a date and she said yes even though shes told my friend she dosent like him in that way. They dont ...
A. 2 August 2009: Did you ever think maybe she went out with him spitefully too, because she's waiting for someone else (YOU) to ask her out? When she ditches him to spend time with you, tell her how you feel. To often people loose out on the one they really love, ... (read in full...)
The thought of my partner having sex with me makes me feel sick! Is it me or the Implant?
Q. i have been with my partner for nearly 2 years, we have two children one 15 years old and the other is nearly turning 3. my partner works away and we only see each other a few days a month but we are used to this and it isnt a problem, i have been ...
A. 2 August 2009: Could be either. The implant delivers chemicals that can cause a hormonal imbalance. Stress can cause sexual tension too. It's like saying, "what? have sex when all these other things are going on." How do you view sex? When your in the act, and not ... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 2 August 2009: Who said anything about forgetting? You still need to live your life. Don't allow yourself to be disabled because of this love. He's a good friend, although this choice may not have been, but truthfully, what would he want for you? I don't think ... (read in full...)
I end up feeling dumb everytime someone compliments me..
Q. So I know this is a weird question, but it's been an issue for me for a while. I can't take compliments. Whenever someone compliments me I turn it into a joke somehow, or make a witty comment, and I feel dumb afterwards for avoiding it. I have my...
A. 2 August 2009: People share compliments to validate who you are to them. At times I have dressed above what I should for whatever situation, people have said I look nice, but I too write it off because I don't want to look as if I'm stuck on myself.
This ... (read in full...)
Aaahhh I can't talk to girls!
Q. Hi all. I like this girl. But Im having trouble keeping up a conversation with her. any one have any tips on how too have a good conversation?...
A. 2 August 2009: my advice is to have her talk about herself. what are her likes and dislikes. you'll get further than anything else since people enjoy talking about them. When she does, you listen. Don't change the subject, just listen to her. ... (read in full...)
Am I really ready for a baby? How should I approach my boyfriend about this?
Q. Well this is my first post here so I am not sure how I should ask this and I also know peoples opinions differ but what I am wanting to ask is how would I go about asking my bf how he would feel if I said I wanted a baby.....weve only been together ...
A. 2 August 2009: "I don't want people saying oh you haven't been together long enough, you're just going to scare him away, blah blah blah.." You many not want included, but in all reality, could still end up being at issue. You're ready, how about him? Is he mature ... (read in full...)
Will he ever ask me to be his wife?
Q. i have been divorced for nine years and i have been seeing a guy for almost the same amount of time. he is the only guy i have dated since my divorce. i love him so much and he still takes my breath away when he passionately kisses me. he has been ...
A. 2 August 2009: There's not enough information to know better, yes or no. What I'm wondering is, after 2 divorces, how does he view marriage. Divorce isn't easy and sure isn't cheap. He might be comfortable with the situation, not wanting to get into something that ... (read in full...)
How much do parents really contribute to their children's adult lives?
Q. My children are all 18 years older,but they are making huge mistakes, like they never learned anything good from us. We tried to teach them good values, but they are clearly not showing any good results, there is drugs and drinking ,trouble with the...
A. 2 August 2009: I understand where you're coming from. It's difficult when different directions are taken. As a parent, I know that we can't force values on our kids. I even sit here with my teen daughters, and at times they'll assist in answering a question for ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about her, how do I get over my shyess and make a move?
Q. A girl I dated for a few months back during the end of senior year of high school is living in the same house as me. This house really belongs to mutual friends of ours. One of these friends happens to be her best friend whom lets her live there for ...
A. 1 August 2009: You've dated her before, so why does the cat have your tongue now? Your families are waiting, people in the house are waiting, and I bet she might be too. I'll tell you, if everyone in the house knows, unless she's walking around with a blindfold ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being self-consious during sexual activity?
Q. well ive been with my boyfriend for a while now, and we are pretty sexually active. although we both would like to have sex, we want to do other things before that. so far i have tossed my lad off twice and he loves it to say the least. we want t...
A. 1 August 2009: Have you ever masturbated? That's what fingering is, but he's doing it to you.
Sex might a little, but fingering generally does not. As far as being self conscious. You know why you're with him. He knows why he's with you and wants to do things w... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 1 August 2009: "losing my virginity to him was the most perfect, wonderful thing I've ever experienced; i felt i could have just died happily in his arms." This is different than what we often hear. Although, having an affair is wrong, you can actually treasure ... (read in full...)
Should I let my husband have sex with my best friend?
Q. Is it wrong that my husband wants to sleep with my best friend and wants me to join with him we have been with another man but I don't like that fact he wants his turn with a female now we love her both very much she is very close to us like family ...
A. 1 August 2009: When you did a 3some with the other guy, what was his relation to you? Was he close as well as your friend is? Sexual preference it that of who has it, but I'd recommend if your choosing a 3some to do so with someone you trust, but not with someone ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 1 August 2009: Let her know the only actions she can control is her own. She's not to blame when someone else is the actor. To a certain extent we all do it. It's hard not to. We take on a certain amount of pain that someone else is going through because we care ... (read in full...)
I'm so frustrated I think I want out of my marriage!
Q. Ok so me and my husband have been married for 3 years going on 4 next month. We have our ups n downs but lately we have been fussin just bout anything and I got to the point where I want out of the marriage.he keeps trying to control me (at least ...
A. 1 August 2009: He doesn't fall asleep on you while having sex or does he fall asleep before anything starts?
Let's set aside what's not going to happen. He's not going to stop checking out a girl every now and again. It happens, or "you can look, but don't to... (read in full...)
Head over heals for my BF
Q. So, my problem started when I fell for my best friend. It's the typical cliche story. Though, he treats me horribly and I can't seem to tell him where to go. The past two years I've been dealing with depression, paranoia, anxiety and going to ...
A. 1 August 2009: "I have a lot going on, so stop contacting me."
Reading this, I'm worried about the direction your going into. Truthfully, you don't need a boyfriend right now, especially not one who treats you bad. You have some major things to work through.... (read in full...)
My cousin makes fun of me because I'm afraid of sex. And now I like a guy who is engaged! Can anyone help me here?
Q. Hello! my name is cathy and i have 2 pieces of information i need help on im 16 i really like this man and he's 21 and engaged!!! whenever were around with eachother theres alot of flirting going on and its a bit obvious we like eachother but yo...
A. 1 August 2009: You're normal. Kids make fun of other kids for being a virgin, but then they look down on those who aren't. Virginity is something that once it's gone, not matter how much you desire, you're not getting it back. It truly is special. You may not ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 1 August 2009: Statutory rape in TX is 17. But as stated in § 22. 011, "The actor has an affirmative defense if he is not more than three years older than the victim, who is at least age 14." So, she can consent with someone 3 no more than 3 years older."
If sh... (read in full...)
He threatens to leave me, should I just let go?
Q. I need some answers, recently me and my fiance of 2 yrs have been having problems a couple of months ago I found some text messages from his phone to a girl and when I confronted him about them he said that it wasnt him and that a friend from work ...
A. 1 August 2009: Let me ask you, when you said talk about splitting everything, did you want it to end, or were you just saying that to see what response you'd get from him? I think when he gets angry he gets diarrhea of the mouth. But that doesn't make it okay. It ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 1 August 2009: Tisha-1: She needs mental help? What if, for sake of argument, she just wanted to do this, and said she didn't not to be ridiculed by family, but so she wouldn't loose her boyfriend? This is also the age where curiosity about sexuality and hormonal ... (read in full...)
We've been through more than anyone can imagine, and now, years later, I want to find him again. What should I do?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit of a long story as the saga has been going on for 14 years. I believe in Destiny. I believe in love. I do not understand how it works though, and sometimes I question my sanity. I was 14 years old when I met my first lov...
A. 1 August 2009: I'm sure you've heard the saying to "focus on what you have control over, not what you don't." What you don't have control over is the actions of anyone else.
Divorce can be extremely difficult emotionally, at times financially etc. He does not... (read in full...)
Help! I think my dad is having an affair!
Q. Am suspecting my dad is having an affair with a lady, about 2 months ago he had to go to another town for a contract that was awarded to him and comes home on weekend. I've not really been around though but last week when i came back from school he ...
A. 31 July 2009: The information you gave doesn't imitate an affair or it might. You just don't have enough to confirm what's going on yet. You don't want to say they are, and have everything blow up in your house if they are not. that wouldn't be good for anyone. ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right choice?
Q. Ok, I need some advice to know whether I have made the right choice. If you only have negative things to say, dont bother, I am not here for a bashing, I just want to know if I have done the right thing. I have been married 13 years, and have ...
A. 31 July 2009: That's okay. It's kind of funny how life works. We hear about women and their shopping habits. My girls would be in heaven if I dropped them off at the mall with an open credit limit. (Which will never happen) When it comes to relationships, women ... (read in full...)
My wife had filed divorce because of my internet addiction, how can I get her back?
Q. My wife and I have been married for almost six years. It is a second marriage for the both of us. When we first started dating the passion and love making was amazing. As we continued dating and became engaged, things stayed fantastic. As we ...
A. 31 July 2009: Give her space. Begging and trying to justify why you should stay married, you might end up pushing her away further. What you have is not an addiction, as normally considered to be. When things are good, you're not on the computer, as things get ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right choice?
Q. Ok, I need some advice to know whether I have made the right choice. If you only have negative things to say, dont bother, I am not here for a bashing, I just want to know if I have done the right thing. I have been married 13 years, and have ...
A. 31 July 2009: First, the affair(s). You can't use your husband's affair as justification for yours. Each act is a separate choice and neither one of them gives reason for the other.
What you did right was tell your husband and broke it off with this other pe... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 31 July 2009: So, he was giving oral sex to her? Sexual assault is generally self pleasuring. I don't see (not saying it's impossible) how someone stops at only giving oral sex to a girl. Like I said, it's not completely impossible, but I personally have not ... (read in full...)
We've been through more than anyone can imagine, and now, years later, I want to find him again. What should I do?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit of a long story as the saga has been going on for 14 years. I believe in Destiny. I believe in love. I do not understand how it works though, and sometimes I question my sanity. I was 14 years old when I met my first lov...
A. 16 March 2009: This is a wonderful story. I'm happy for you. Take care. ... (read in full...)
We've been through more than anyone can imagine, and now, years later, I want to find him again. What should I do?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit of a long story as the saga has been going on for 14 years. I believe in Destiny. I believe in love. I do not understand how it works though, and sometimes I question my sanity. I was 14 years old when I met my first lov...
A. 14 March 2009: There are computer search engines. Google for "people finder" and a list will come up. A PI you can use if you can't find him. It's not stalking, because all they do is utilize search engines which they pay for the service, and have access for any ... (read in full...)
We've been through more than anyone can imagine, and now, years later, I want to find him again. What should I do?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit of a long story as the saga has been going on for 14 years. I believe in Destiny. I believe in love. I do not understand how it works though, and sometimes I question my sanity. I was 14 years old when I met my first lov...
A. 14 March 2009: You've been so afraid of what might happen, it's kept you from the one person you were meant to be with this whole time. I don't consider it destiny, you two may be soul mates. This explains a love that never disappears, even when with someone else. ... (read in full...)
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