A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I know this is a weird question, but it's been an issue for me for a while. I can't take compliments. Whenever someone compliments me I turn it into a joke somehow, or make a witty comment, and I feel dumb afterwards for avoiding it.I have my first serious boyfriend, and recently he's been saying nice little things like calling me cute or hot and slipping it into whatever we're talking about, so it gets me off guard. I totally fail at accepting the compliments, and when I do reply its in some form of avoidance, so I end up feeling dumb. I also don't want him to think I don't want to hear it, or that I'm like, shunning his atempts at being sweet.So how do you take a compliment? Or how do you pass over the awkwardness?Saying thank you feels weird to me for some reason, I guess I'm just looking for something else to show my gratitude. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 August 2009):
 People share compliments to validate who you are to them. At times I have dressed above what I should for whatever situation, people have said I look nice, but I too write it off because I don't want to look as if I'm stuck on myself.
This might also be part of a diminished self esteem. We view others different than they view themselves. Acknowledging a compliment may be uncomfortable at first. But a compliment isn't how you look at yourself, it's how someone else sees you. What you need to do is accept the compliment, not because you see it as being true, but because someone else does. So, when your given a compliment, how you feel about you is not their consideration. It's about how they see you. So compliments you receive, keep that in mind, you see yourself different than someone else, but why devalue how they see you.
Relationships are built of differences. If we judged them on similarities, real relationships would be non-existent.
A
female
reader, Love is all you need  +, writes (2 August 2009):
 I know how you feel, i don't like saying thank you to compliments either and when my boyfriend compliments me i make it into a joke to by going 'shut up' but smiling not meaning it. If you want to show your gratitued just smille when he says it and walk away. Smile tells everything.
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