A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong that my husband wants to sleep with my best friend and wants me to join with him we have been with another man but I don't like that fact he wants his turn with a female now we love her both very much she is very close to us like family what should I think about this and what should I do go along with it or just he really cares about her and has feelings for her too. Should I let this happen becaue I care about him and want him to have some fun?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): NO NO NO... it Will be a big mistake! I have lots of experience with this.. and trust me... it not worth it! my story is exactly the same as the girl above that just ended her 20 year marriage! only I am still in my relationship... but believe me.. its not a good one!he wanted to have a 3 some with our close friend ( my female best friend ) ... then he wanted me to have sex with his friend (male) with him watching... then before long, he wanted me to go to his friends house and have sex with his friend, then come home, tell him about it so we could have sex... now all he does is pressure me to have sex with his friend, send dirty pics to his friend and so on... my point here is... it just goes further and further.. he keeps wanting more. and when I have an opinion, he calls me lame. I have completely lost my self respect and regret it all! its been 10 years since we've made love or had sex for just US! Please don't make the same mistakes I did!!!! xoxo
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is to me bad, not judging anything or anyone here, to me it is bad enough to see you naked in front of another man without doing the thing is bad enough, now to talk of doing the thing with your husband/bf and another man, to me it is a matter of a pound of flesh, you seem to have little or no say here, just play along, and pray he did not enjoy or prefer the other lady to you, if he did you know the implication. But must it be with your best friend? a neutral person will be ideal for this, it will be a one off thing and you can go back on with your relationship. God will help you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I know some friends that did the same thing. Now he has kids from the othier girl. She hates her and it ruined thier marriage He always says, thats what you wanted right to have a threesome ,she agreed to it. Dont do something yr goin to regret you should know that by now. I dont care if anyone thinks its fare or not. Whatever happend to talkin and bein honest with him? You never know he might not even really want to do it he might just want to see what you think??????????
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): The fact is you were quite happy to have a threesome with another man. YOU had sex with another man. How did you husband feel about this? Did he enjoy it or was he just the teeniest bit jealous do you think? Maybe he wants this threesome with another woman to make you realise just how painful it is to see the one you love in throes of passion with someone OTHER than you.
I know that I could never imagine being with someone other than my man. It would break my heart to see someone else doing the things to him that I do. We are a partnership - a team. We dont need anyone else for sexual thrills. It was YOUR choice to have a threesome in the first place. You were very happy when it was two men and you - you getting all the attention. You either have to be honest, and accept that it was you that started it, and that its only fair to let your hubby have a go too - or you tell him the truth that a) its ok for you to be unfaithful, BUT b) you are too jealous to let him be with another woman.
Grow up. IF you cant deal with the consequences, then dont do the things in the first place. You are an adult woman. Take some responsibility.
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male
reader, joe26  +, writes (2 August 2009):
 sorry you can't just take, its give and take..you shouldn't have done with the guy den, its not fair for your husb as you both agreed to have a threesome at the first place? and, now you don't like the idea of having threesome which might cause some problems coz your bf will think your selfish...just tell him the truths if you don't like it doing this but be fair always no matter what!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): personally i would not go down that road as i believe you will have issues with jealousy after seeing your husband having sex with another woman.
but you have had sex with another man involved so naturally your husband would like you to play fair.
still, if you feel that you will have jealousy issues that could damage your relationship then you must explain it to him instead of just going ahead with it to play fair.
maybe have a think of other ways to spice up your sex life without involving a third party as that route will more than likely lead to trouble.
there are very few people able to cope emotionally (specially women) seeing there partner who they love having sex with another.
if you must go ahead with this then choosing a close friend is not the way. choose someone who is more of an aquaintance if you can.
but in the end regardless of whats fair and whats not, do not do anything that you do not want too.
im curious though, when you agreed to the threesome involving the other man, did you suggest it or your husband? and also was having another threesome involving a woman known to be on the cards?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Been there... done that...
The threesome with my husband was also with my best female friend. The problem was after we did it - my husband had trouble letting it go. The fantasies and memories of our times together as a threesome would creep into our bedroom during 'our' lovemaking time alone. He always brought it up and that was the point that made him climax. I didn't feel that 'our' time was special anymore.
After I told him it seemed as if we couldn't make love without him bringing up a fantasy with her or a third party he tried his best not to. Sometimes he wouldn't but I knew it was on his mind. I completely lost interest in being intimate with him. We have recently ended our 20 year marraiage.
There are a few more things to consider... It was a cool fantasy to 'imagine' watching my man give a close friend pleasure but what I didn't know was after we did it that I would still - all these years later - so clearly recall her moans in 'my' head... It's just something I'll never forget... Make sure you are also ready to deal with the images of watching his movements and his face as he has sex with your friend... Whether it is an enjoyable experience or not - They do not leave you.
You need to really communicate with your husband about what you did in the past and what he is now asking you to do. There is a lot at stake!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Well, aren't you the selfish one! So it's ok for you to have the sexual attention of two blokes in bed but when it comes to the roles being reversed, you can't hack it. Sorry love, you should have thought that one out before taking your own selfish pleasure. To answer your question, yes, you should, but only if you throw yourself into it and not start whingeing afterwards.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 August 2009):
 When you did a 3some with the other guy, what was his relation to you? Was he close as well as your friend is? Sexual preference it that of who has it, but I'd recommend if your choosing a 3some to do so with someone you trust, but not with someone who's as good as a friend as your best friend. I wouldn't want your relationship with your friend to take a negative turn because of this.
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reader, timbo +, writes (1 August 2009):
To me it sounds scary, but thats just me. It sounds like a dream situation if you are 17-25 and single, not 40-50 and married. I've never heard of this working out in the end for any couple ever. You probably shouldn't have had the other man thing, cause to be fair now,,,,. If you decide to do it, don't let it be your best friend. There must be other ways to spice things up!
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reader, maggie777  +, writes (1 August 2009):
Do not do this. It will destroy the intimacy and trust. It will open up all kinds of problems for you in terms of jealousy and conflict.If you value your emotional health you will stay well clear.
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reader, Love is all you need  +, writes (1 August 2009):
 ask him straight out 'do you have feelings for her or do you just want some fun?' he will probably tell you no and soothe you. But just think he probably wondered the same thing when you did it with the guy, so go along with it have some fun just make sure you get in on the action with him as well, maybe even after you get home try some stuff again?hope this helps....xxx
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