A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is about ten years older than me. The thing is, he and his parents are good friends of my mother and father. I've known him my whole life.Would you consider this a violation of trust?Many of my friends have called him a pedophile. Would you think so too? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Shaunaaa'  +, writes (12 August 2009):
well it depends on ur age and his age, if uare 18+ yeah sounds find but if your under maybe you should wait a while untill you are 18 to go out with him. Have you felt him beiing like creepy or anything, or unconfortable with him. If he tries to make an innapropriate move on you aginst your will, thenn you know to stay away and inform your parents
good luck and i hope he isnt. x
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 Strictly speaking, no. Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children. I doubt you qualify.
That however is not how the term is generally used.
There is a rather big age gap. Not just in number of years but more importantly, in experience.
You are of the age to make the first choices about a career, he should already be well on his way. You are thinking about moving out for the first time, he might well be buying his second house soon.
Why does an adult male feel attracted to a snotty teen? Oh of course, you are mature for your age and witty and intelligent and all that but that is what people are asking themselves. What would make a grown man date a school girl.
A: He likes them young.
B: No adult female will have him.
C: He doesn't like mature women.
A = He will dump you for the next young girl.
B = What makes adult women turn him down.
C = You better not grow up.
Of course it can be true love. But if you had no doubts, you wouldn't be posting here. You know why he is dating you. Whatever it is, you got to decide wether you can accept that.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (8 August 2009):
 I wouldnt consider him a pedophile, thats someone who strictly prays on young children under the age of 13 in my opinion,
you can look up the exact definition if you want
Pedophilia is a disease and most pedophiles seek out children young ones adolescence that are not sexually mature.
A 16 yr old involved with a 7 yr old could even fit that category
sex is a huge contradiction in the world its advertised and talked about every where it plays a huge part in nearly every television show and song yet if people actually have sex its a big deal but if they dont its a big deal too.
Theres a double standard of course if your a guy your supposed to have had a harem of women and if your a woman your never supposed to have been with any one yet your still supposed to be experienced some how.
In the Bible Mary was betrothed to Joseph and became pregnant with Jesus when she was 13. i believe Joseph was in his 20s
So i would say no one younger then that should be married or sexually active
At 16 or 17 your old enough and intelligent enough to make consensual decisions regarding your body and sexually mature, there fore your bf is not a pedophile. in ten years you will want to look like you do now, but you wouldnt want to look like you did when you where 11.
Im glad you have a man that cherishes you and appreciates you and i hope things work out for you. Do not worry about what the other girls say many of them are lonely and have kno one or are unsatisfied with what they have in fact if they where happy they wouldnt be trying to bring you down happy people dont try to make others unhappy.
If you have a good man stick by him if your friends cant accept him then there not good friends.
a pedophile is a vile creature thats preys on children they are cursed retched beings may only God have mercy on them.
Im sure your Bf doesnt fit that description so be happy live long and well let the haters hate you have better things to do
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): Too many people use the word "pedophile" too loosely. A nineteen year old boy was called a "pedophile" for dating a fifteen year old girl, just because he 'officially' became an adult through the eyes of the law.
I find it moronic that a sixty five year old man being intimate with a twenty one year old woman is 'acceptable', but a twenty six year old man and a sixteen year old girl is a big no no. Who says that all twenty-something year old men and women have an universal maturity level, 'equal' to their peers of the same or similar age? How do you define what a person's maturity level is in comparison with someone of another age?
As Rcn had mentioned, did he go into the 'relationship' with you, hoping to get into your pants? Did he try to take advantage of you for his sole benefit? Did he corner and threaten you?
[sigh]
Again, too many people use the term "pedophile" too loosely.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): Your still a child and he is an adult. I would be horrified if my child was dating an adult. I would wait until your at least 18 to start anything serious. The police could get involved if anything sexual happened like you got pregnant. How long have you been dating? if its a while then i would class him as a pedo.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 August 2009):
 Do you consider him to be preying on you? You consider him your boyfriend, did he manipulate you into choosing him? A pedophile is someone who's attracted to young girls, and attempt sexual contact for no other reason than the fact that they are young. Do you see that behavior or reason coming from him?
Other than what your friends say. How do you see him?
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