A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so me and my husband have been married for 3 years going on 4 next month. We have our ups n downs but lately we have been fussin just bout anything and I got to the point where I want out of the marriage.he keeps trying to control me (at least that how I feel) u see I don't work because when I got pregnant with our only son we decided that I would stay at home to care for him until he went to school. So I don't make my own money and every time he gets a chance he'll throw it on my face like if I ask for something and he didnt get the right thing and I tell him he'll go off on me and say u aint bought it u aint got money. And we always fuss over money I feel like he trying to control me on what to buy just because he's the one with the money. And I want to leave him because im so frustrated in the relationship but I cant at the same time because I don't have a place to go my parent leave in a small 3 bedroom house wit my 3 sisters which 2 of them have a baby. There's no room for me. And I have no friends since I don't work and we only have one car which he drive to work. And then one night i had his phone he had text one of his friends he said he was going to do a girl and at the very bottom it say just joking. And it made me so mad his friend had to come and talk to me and let me know that he was just joking for real and that he was drunk when he said that so now I cant trust him when his drunk because if he do that when he drunk and I'm not around I cant imagine what else he gone do. I also caught him checkin out a girl at a party that we went to. He said he don't remember because he was drunk. But I saw him and it hurt my feelings. I don't think I can trust him anymore. I want out but I don't know where to go. Daddy keeps telling me that I can come over there. That he will built on to the house if he was to. But I don't know. I don't want to feel so uncomfortable in there with the house being so small and all I want is my baby to feel comfortable. Don't get me wrong now if I have to go to my parents house I will. I just want for my husband to act like he used to when we was dating. he very responsible and its a good father but as a husband he aint doing to good we barely have sex now because he always falls a sleep on me. I don't know what to do so please give me an advice I need it. I don't have any friends and I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do help please
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 August 2009):
 He doesn't fall asleep on you while having sex or does he fall asleep before anything starts?
Let's set aside what's not going to happen. He's not going to stop checking out a girl every now and again. It happens, or "you can look, but don't touch" wouldn't be such a long time famous saying.
Have you ever considered switching? He stays home and you work. Daycare is expensive and at one point my ex and I did that. 1/2 year then switch. I'll tell you,when it was time for me to go back to work, you couldn't have gotten me out of the house fast enough. Being a parent is hard work. Being married takes work too. I am worried about you staying home without a social life, being pressured when it comes to money, and having that being used against you.
Marriage is a partnership. Who makes the money? Who cares? You're being a stay at home mom. A choice both of you made, through being partners, but when it comes to money the partnership is set aside? If you leave. Your family is all you can turn to, so I'd take them up on their offer. Now the next time he brings it up, ask him what it is he really wants from you.
I would recommend trying to work through this, but that takes two. The way it's going now, it's not healthy for you or a positive environment to raise your child.
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