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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Lately he hasn't been reacting sexually to me
Q. My boyfriend has usually had a higher sex drive than me so I make a point to initiate sex or sexual activity about every second day so he won't feel neglected or unwanted. But the last few times I've tried to there's been absolutely no interest from ...
A. 13 August 2014: Let him initiate the next time. You've been the thoughtful one all this time. When you stop doing the work he will soon realize what's missing. If he's stressed out about something he will tell you when he feels ready. Also sex should be more about ... (read in full...)
Leaving for college -- should we break up or try to make a LDR work?
Q. I leave for college tomorrow and I need help on what to do with my relationship. We love each other, a hell of a lot. But we're going to different colleges, he's going to college in the city and I'm going 3 hours away...my thing is I want to be with ...
A. 13 August 2014: I would break up. When you have that break up before it was for him to think about whether he could devote to you. He chose to use this free time to have sex with other people. Not one, not a drunken mistake, but 4. He has not worked to earn your ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue trying to date a woman with dysmorphia?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to see what your opinions on this is. I met someone well over a year ago and it was amazing. We got on really well, so much so we had 3 dates on one weekend. When I was at work the next Monday she send me an email and text m...
A. 13 August 2014: You are not going to give up on her, that's fine. The dysmorphia I think is body dysmorphia and not gender dysmorphia. It means she thinks she is ugly, fat when she is actually average or above. It is a disorder in a way that it is irrational so you ... (read in full...)
Why do people give mixed signals? I think it's cruel!
Q. Dear agony aunts/uncles. I'm having a problem with my "love life" at the moment. I've been single for the past few months and meeting people out, having one night stands and I've met a lot of creeps and weirdos online who ended up harassing me. ...
A. 12 August 2014: The reason why your feelings are so intense is because this is unrequited love. Your whole being is so consumed with how to get his approval. You become addicted to the intimacy chemicals but you have nothing to sustain it because he does not ... (read in full...)
Why do people give mixed signals? I think it's cruel!
Q. Dear agony aunts/uncles. I'm having a problem with my "love life" at the moment. I've been single for the past few months and meeting people out, having one night stands and I've met a lot of creeps and weirdos online who ended up harassing me. ...
A. 12 August 2014: I don't think he's giving you mixed signals. To give you mixed signals would be saying he wants a relationship then he doesn't know what he wants later. Calling you and texting, then blowing cold few days later. It still feels good to kiss you and ... (read in full...)
Our sex life has suffered since the birth of our baby
Q. Since the birth of our baby, over a year ago, my sex life with my husband has suffered. At first, the obvious demands of the baby and my body recovering was the clear reasons why. After a few months, we started finding time again, and it was good, ...
A. 12 August 2014: I would just straight out ask him if the reason is that you become this mother figure, the baby came out of you (the same place his penis is going in), and in his eyes he finds it hard to feel sexual with you. I would ask him if he feels sexual ... (read in full...)
He stood me up and I don't know if he deserves a second chance...
Q. We had a first date/meeting set up for Wednesday. We're both pretty busy and hardly get to chat, let alone set a time to get together. Wednesday comes and I hear... nothing! I then realise he was last online on Monday evening, which meant he hadn't ...
A. 12 August 2014: I assume that the date was set up in person but you had yet to call to confirm a time. He did not exactly stand you up because maybe he's waiting for you to suggest a time. I don't know why you don't call each other, but a lot of people are afraid ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him about his lies?
Q. Im 21, nearly 22, and have been getting to know this guy since May, but have been speaking since February. We were both at university (far apart) so we used to Skype every day, talk on the phone for hours and text throughout the day for 3 months...
A. 12 August 2014: I would just tell him as the months passed your feelings are deeper and you are expecting more, such as honesty and not flirting with others. If he is not on the same page then you can part ways. He said he doesn't want to sleep with others, but he ... (read in full...)
13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women"
Q. I woul love some advise please. 13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women" he was a virgin when we met (not that he told me) and he regrets not sleeping with more women. He works away a lot and ...
A. 11 August 2014: Is he trying though? Did he do anything to show you that you are the only one he wants? If he's trying are you willing to forgive the sexting and saying you were not good enough (which was probably said in anger)?... (read in full...)
Both friend of Jack, I'm his ex and both too afraid to say anything!
Q. Hi there. I haven't needed to ask for advice in a long time, but i've found myself in a bit of a situation. So I met this guy in my first year of University, we were living in the same halls, and we knew each other from nights out, lets call him ...
A. 11 August 2014: If Jack really is "the one," then nothing could stop you even you tried to get back together with Sam, or date other people. For now, you forget him by focusing on your studies. Sam didn't say you can't date, just that if you want to stay over with ... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 11 August 2014: Yes, guys do worry that you've had bigger penises even if you don't share gory details. What he needs is that you are indeed attracted to him and you like his size. If he is very small then you can't bring yourself to say he's the biggest. So what ... (read in full...)
I love the girl, but not the relationship. what should I do?
Q. Hi everyone Firstly, I just want to say. Constructive advice only. I know lots of people on here like to give hard hitting "advice" however really that will not help me. I love my girlfriend very much, and she loves me. It is long distance an...
A. 11 August 2014: Maybe she's hesitating because she doesn't know if you would be successful in her country. She doesn't want to give you pressure, have you move in, then struggle and get frustrated there. You do this at your own risk. If you feel that in her country ... (read in full...)
Why isn't my new partner turned on by me?
Q. Hi, I would be grateful for any views on my problem. I met my boyfriend six months ago (we are both in our early 60's). We have both been married, had families and been in previous relationships . I have grown to love him very much but one issue ...
A. 9 August 2014: Any reason why he's only stayed at your place a few times in 6 months? Have you been to his place? I am taking the information here that he is healthy and being a gentleman. He also tells you he finds you attractive. I don't see why he has to lie ... (read in full...)
Affectionate guy, says he's "not a big texter" but 6 weeks of silence while he travels is driving me insane!
Q. Hey everyone, A couple of weeks ago now, a guy with whom I have a lot of mutual friends, whom I'd never met in the flesh but had heard great things about, and I, went on a date. After a couple of flirty Facebook posts, he'd asked me out a month p...
A. 9 August 2014: I would find out how often he goes on work trips and see if I can handle the frequency. There is nothing wrong with having sex before there is commitment. It's just that you will have a peace of mind when both of you are on the same page about what ... (read in full...)
I don't think my ex can really accept that she is gay
Q. Hey guys. So I'm struggling at the moment. I had been with my girlfriend (same sex) for about two years. I can't be 100% certain, but I'm fairly certain that she broke up with me because she doesn't want to be gay. A little background. We m...
A. 8 August 2014: There are people who strive for "normal" relationships in order to gain approval from parents. It's when parents die people suddenly find their freedom to do their own thing. As long as she has some unresolved issues with her mom then she will ... (read in full...)
Is she hinting around that she's finishing up with her ex or should I start dating others?
Q. Hi, I was dating a girl over a year ago and at the time we both thought we'd met the one. We both thought it was amazing but before we met I'd accepted a job away from home. she was gutted and called it off because she said she simply can't do...
A. 8 August 2014: I think when you met her you didn't have the time to get to know each other and make a deep bond, but you didn't completely cut ties either. When she called it off I don't what's the use of keeping in touch. She is stringing two men along and at the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes crossdressing?
Q. Hi, my name is Jessica. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months and recently he has told me he has a cross dressing fetish. He was really scared to tell me about it but I made sure to make him feel like I'll love him no matter ...
A. 7 August 2014: You have only been dating for 4 months. Cross dressing is just one aspect of his life. You have to decide, when time passes if he has good qualities that shine in spite of this weird fetish he has. I won't be turned on by a guy wearing lingerie. I ... (read in full...)
Guy on internet dating website hasn't written in a week, and only checks in when I write him, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Q. I started corresponding with this guy on Okcupid about three years ago. We wrote to each other long, thoughtful messages and almost went out on a date, but I'd started hitting it off with another guy and eventually dated this other guy for two ...
A. 7 August 2014: The okcupid goes to his email, so it's not like he goes on to that website just to check for you. He just didn't feel it's necessary to delete his account. He doesn't have much confidence with you because you chose another guy over him. So even ... (read in full...)
Is our perception of ourselves true a lot of the time?
Q. How do you tell whether or not you're attractive? Is there any way to know for sure? I ask because I know we see ourselves different to how others see us. Also some days we feel better about ourselves than others. How do we know if what we feel is ...
A. 7 August 2014: I can be considered attractive, but still the quiet and unassuming type. I don't like attention myself, so naturally don't draw a lot of attention. My confidence in myself is a little above average. Having confidence helps. There are people with the ... (read in full...)
How do I cope? My fiance has told me she's coming to see me to break things off
Q. My fiance of four and a half years has told me that she wants to end things. Shed coming to see me in a few weeks to end it in person. her reasons are that she says her feelings have changed and that she no longer gets excited wen she sees me and t...
A. 7 August 2014: I would say this has something to do with her depression. She has this expectation that if only she is with the right person she would be happy. The truth is that when a person is not happy they often blame it on the other person. Is it also ... (read in full...)
Why won't he ring me at home? And he keeps forgetting to give me his house keys.
Q. Hi, i have been dating my bf in person for just over 4 mths, as we met online last December. Since we met online, we both knew we had something very special unfolding between us and after meeting in person, those feelings only solidified ...
A. 4 August 2014: Talking about marriage is premature. He needs to spend more effort dating you and getting to know you. Not talking on the phone for 4 months is not normal, unless he has a case of phone phobia. The idea of living together and not breaking up again ... (read in full...)
I think I am in love, but he is rude and arrogant!
Q. Hi. Ive just rented my house to my tenant. We had an agreement that his going to stay for a year and he must put the rental money to my bank account. He put it once and after its been 7 months and he just comes where i stay at my parents house to ...
A. 4 August 2014: You are not in love, you just have a crush on him. You are single and lonely and any decent looking guy will get your attention. You and him are dealing with business and when you fancy a person you would wish that he's nicer. There is nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I let my fiance know I found out she was still an escort during our first month of dating, or should I let it go?
Q. Hi, I'm really having a hard time dealing with a bunch of things that I found out about my fiance. I don't know how to approach her about a lot of things I found out, and I also don't know what I really want out of the future. In order to rece...
A. 4 August 2014: Her guilt of cheating and lying maybe the reason she's having trouble being intimate with you. You should confront her to clear up the tension. Your worries won't go away by itself. I think she loves you in her way, but you can't expect her to love ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy shares his baby and childhood photos with you?
Q. Hi Aunts, I know I don't share baby photos with just anyone, even friends. I have fallen for a man I've known for a long time and I suspects he feels similarly. I was wondering what it means when a guy you are interested in shares baby/childh...
A. 4 August 2014: I would love to see childhood photos from a boyfriend. It's a way to build intimacy. It means he is comfortable with sharing and his childhood is good. He's inviting you to his past and has nothing to be ashamed of. When you have a relationship with ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. Do you think I overreacted?
Q. Hi Everyone, Thank you for taking the time our to read all this. I broke it off with my boyfriend over two months ago and the thoughts of "did I overreact?" coupled with "I miss him so much" have started creeping in. So, I wanted to get...
A. 4 August 2014: Since the break up was two months ago, I would just leave it and try to conclude that you didn't overreact. Yes you miss him but even though he didn't physically cheat on you it's not a good idea to go back to him.
Based on what you told us, what... (read in full...)
She said I didn't get it, she's right, I didn't get it!
Q. Sorry this may be a little long. So last night my gf of almost 2 years and I were fine. We were watching a movie, she fell asleep and I fell asleep shortly after her. We weren't fighting or anything. Then this morning she told me she had a dream ...
A. 3 August 2014: She's mad because you didn't reassure her that you didn't cheat on her. When you asked her who she cheated with, to her it was like you admitted to cheating. Don't read too much into dreams. I had a dream of having sex with a customer but in real ... (read in full...)
Will I be hurt again if I decide to trust her?
Q. My GF of almost 6 years has previously cheated on me, the man she cheated on me with was in another state and as far as i know she only actually met up with him 4-5 times. Most of their communication was via skype and she would spend hours every day ...
A. 3 August 2014: I don't think so. You can be a naturally trusting person but once trust is broken you can't just tell yourself to trust. You see that trust is used as a verb but not really, it is your feeling and your mental state. You are either able to trust or ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to move forward, my childhood holds me back!
Q. I came from quite a difficult family situation. My parents had an awful marriage, from the time I was born my dad was always constantly cheating on my mom and yet my mom stayed with him and had another child with him (my younger sister). My dad was ...
A. 3 August 2014: You don't have to tell people what's going on in your family. It's really none of their business. They might be nosy and want to know but you are under no obligation to report what your family do. Keeping a silence does not mean you are complacent ... (read in full...)
Just engaged, everything was great..... until the ex contacted me!
Q. I have recently become engaged to my boyfriend of nearly two years, and everyone has wished us luck and congratulated us. We have decided to have a winter wedding as our birthdays are both near Christmas and everything was falling into place. But ...
A. 3 August 2014: He just wants to see if you still have feelings for him in your reply. If you reply that's because you want to find out if he had any remorse. I would not contact him because even though you ended in bad terms, it was still a serious relationship. ... (read in full...)
I am torn between two women. Should I stay as I am, 80% happy, or make a decision?
Q. Hi, I had an affair with a woman 3 years ago and we just connected. My marriage ended, although that was one reason, it was not the main one. After the marriage ended the woman I had the affair with said she could not be with me as she was m...
A. 2 August 2014: You've had two years to move on from the first woman. For you to date the second woman means you give up and starting a new life, because you probably don't want to wait years for her to get a divorce. So for you to say you are still in love with ... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed. How can I speak my mind? How can I find more life satisfaction?
Q. I'm extremely overwhelmed. I am married with 3 kids ages 5 and under. I'm a stay at home mom and i do everything!! Cooking, cleaning, taking care of everyone and i feel like i have completely lost myself. I used to have hobbies and a life and i j...
A. 2 August 2014: Your husband deserves rest too after a long day at work and the weekends. Perhaps a break is not so possible in your living situation? What I suppose is that just an appreciation goes a long way, and a promise for a better future helps too. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: When women say they want a guy to talk about his feelings, that's a different context. Sometimes the women don't know where they stand in the relationship, so hearing a guy express feelings help in that area. Sometimes a guy looks down and the woman ... (read in full...)
I'm not into some of the things he does. Am I a prude? What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm in a new relationship and the sex is already an issue! I've addressed a few issues but I'm worried I'm being a complete prude! The 2 issues I've yet to mention are these - When he drinks he wants sex but needs help getting hard then...
A. 2 August 2014: I think it's just somehow he's built. I've had sex with an 18 year old virgin. It went on for 40 minutes and he didn't cum. I asked him if he masturbated and he said no, and it didn't bother him if he didn't cum.
When you start hurting, then stop... (read in full...)
Its so hard to break from someone when you both still love one another!
Q. Please help. I need some good advice, as this situation has me very upset. My gf (both women) and I were together for two years. I loved this woman more than I've ever loved another soul before. I wanted to share my future with her. I've never ...
A. 2 August 2014: She's the one who's doing the breaking up and getting back together. I am not a therapist so I can't tell you the connection between her sexual abuse, her sexual orientation and what she is doing with her love life. This has to be analyzed in ... (read in full...)
´m not popular on facebook, what should I do?
Q. Hello, I know my problem will sound childish to you and I know this "problem" doesn´t have the right to be called a problem..but still it hurts me. Also I´m no teenager, I´m 25 years old. It hurts me, that I´m being ignored on Facebook. When I...
A. 2 August 2014: His ex is jealous that he's with you now and she succeeded in making you feel low. Don't let her. Your boyfriend chose you. So it shows that being popular on a computer screen has little bearing on how much a guy would love you. Why do you have to ... (read in full...)
How do I throw this guy out of my mind?
Q. Hi friends I need some help the thing is one of male friend developed feelings for me though he has never directly said anything his behavior makes it visible. I used to consider him only friend. Am a person who is very sensitive and I donot like...
A. 2 August 2014: He is not punishing you. He is doing whatever he needs to do to move on, to throw you out of his mind. You should do the same by ignoring him not because he is a bad person, but so that you can concentrate on your life and do things that make you ... (read in full...)
Need tips to help a player boy falling madly in love with me but not handling it well
Q. I am dealing with a man who is having difficulty handling Love and handling it very strangely. I am concerned for his wellbeing. Well I met this guy a month and some days ago who from what I was told by many, he was a bad boy you know AKA player p...
A. 2 August 2014: A player boy may be charming at first but what you described about him would turn me off instantly. Like resisting love and you said it yourself, it's not so flattering. It's flattering when you are the first woman he's falling for, but how do you ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: Perhaps you can tone it down with your issues instead of being so intense and constant about it. Not wanting to hear your life's problems does not mean one is selfish and uncaring. I understand sharing your story with others and that deepens the ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child?
Q. Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child? I know it may seem harmless but it's actually rather hurt me. I was 17 when I had my son, who is now...
A. 30 July 2014: You shouldn't let that comment affect what you wear on that day. Are you sure that was a joke or does she have family members who are as old fashioned as she is? I don't think people would actually laugh. She may think she knows everything about ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My husband bought his female colleague perfume!
Q. My husband told me that he really appreciates his female colleague and bought her perfume for her birthday gift. Should I be worried? ...
A. 30 July 2014: Perfume is like a generic gift besides chocolate, wine and gift card. If it's an office party then everyone got something for her. It's not like they are having a private party with just the two of them. He is open to share this with you. If he was ... (read in full...)
What interesting things can I do with a guy at a boring mall?
Q. I'm going on a date with a 23 year old I met online tomorrow afternoon. Now, at 19, this is my first date. I havn't even told him that because I find it so embarrassing. We've planned on meeting at a mall. I'd like some ideas on fun, flirty, ...
A. 30 July 2014: I like walking aimlessly at the mall and obviously you are not like that. Maybe you can just tell him to go bowling instead and afterwards catch a drink at the mall. It is not rude in public to steal a quick kiss. You can find a place in the mall ... (read in full...)
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