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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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How do I get his attraction back before its too late?
Q. I am in desperate need of advice. I have lived with my boyfriend for 4 years. We are both in our late 20's. For almost two years now, we have lived together overseas. My boyfriend got a job here and I agreed to move with him with the ...
A. 7 March 2014: I can assure you, even if you got a job and contribute, the lack of attraction will be something else and you will find yourself doing anything to please him. What he did to you destroys your self esteem and it is even worse than cheating. He says ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend of 2 month its too soon too marry?
Q. I'm 23 plus and my guy lives close to our neighbourhood is 29 plus. we've started dating each other getting to two month. we both love and care for each other so much and now he is asking me to marry him which is too early. and also my parent never ...
A. 7 March 2014: The problem is not the age or how long you have been dating. Plenty of people get married, have kids, then start to think about education and jobs. This decision has to be yours only. Your parents only act as your guidance. If you think it's too ... (read in full...)
I can't cope with my fiance watching porn!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My problem will probably seem trivial, but here it goes. I cannot deal with porn. At all. I used to be fine, but ended up in a bad relationship and he was also a true porn addict.Couldnt go more than an hour or so with out it, ...
A. 6 March 2014: I posted the answer before I got to read your added information. I would not want to teach a man new skills, but if he isn't willing to learn to please you then I would rethink the marriage also. Who says that a pregnant woman shouldn't receive oral ... (read in full...)
I can't cope with my fiance watching porn!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My problem will probably seem trivial, but here it goes. I cannot deal with porn. At all. I used to be fine, but ended up in a bad relationship and he was also a true porn addict.Couldnt go more than an hour or so with out it, ...
A. 6 March 2014: Every woman's body is different, some can have sex the day right before labor, while some just stay off sex for a while. Your fiancé wouldn't have proposed to you if he didn't find you attractive. Looking at porn is more of a release than looking ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: He is so not for you. Don't even bother explaining your feelings or teaching him manners. He thinks he is the cat's meow. He triggers your insecurity anytime and in any way he could because he is insecure himself, needing attention all the time and ... (read in full...)
If I don't want him any more why am I jealous of my ex?
Q. Why am I jealous of my ex husbands new girlfriend? I don't want my ex husband back, in fact, I am glad to no longer be married to him and tolerate his verbally and emotionally abusive behavior and general lazy unpleasantness. I know I'm bitt...
A. 6 March 2014: You feel like his new girlfriend is getting the good deal while you are left with a baggage to carry. What he's showing her is not his real self. He is trying to impress her with his fathering ability, and putting on a front to cover up the fact ... (read in full...)
My wife would rather talk to guys on webcam sites than come to bed with me!
Q. I have been married for 16 years and while our sex life hasn't always been great in the last 18 months my wife would rather talk to guys on a webcam site than come to bed with me. I try to talk to her about it but she just says it's a bit of fun a...
A. 6 March 2014: I look at it as cheating even though the technical definition is physical and involves insertion. She is not concerned for your feelings, more like treating you as a fool for staying, because you aren't going to stop it or don't know how to. I would ... (read in full...)
Are the obstacles worth it? He lives 12 hours away and doesn't earn a lot.
Q. I love him, but I am tired of long distance and logically, he really doesn't have much to offer. I have been dating a wonderful man for about 6 months. I admire a lot about him, and the time we have gotten to spend in person is wonderful. He li...
A. 6 March 2014: When you say your ex is barely involved, does it mean that he visits less than once a month and is only trying to cause trouble because a new man would be the father and doesn't feel like travelling 12 hours to visit his son? What is the current ... (read in full...)
Should I go to see my online friend even though we face distance and cultural differences?
Q. Hi, I am new to this site. I am from India and I love a girl in Romania. She recently got out of a relationship. They were going out for 7-8 years; even though she loved him, he never loved her. I suggested her to break the relationship. I might ha...
A. 17 February 2014: I don't think Valentine's day is any more special in India than in Romania so she is using it as an excuse so you won't blame her. I don't think she is serious about meeting you in person. It's easy to say you love a person online but in reality it ... (read in full...)
How can I meet someone who is the average only?
Q. I don't know what else to do with my life. I am at my wits end. I just came from a break-up from my 4 year relationship and I am trying to meet new people. I am in a location where it's really difficult to find a new partner. It's either peop...
A. 17 February 2014: Don't be discouraged by one or two men you met. I would actually be put off when a man says he is looking for a wife online, then be upset that she's not a virgin. I understand it is a Christian site but it's highly unrealistic that a woman your age ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has disappeared and I am very worried.
Q. Hello, I am having a difficult time and I need some advice. First, I have been in a relationship with someone and it hasn't been long, only two months. We got along great and talked all the time for hours. We have always been able to work out any ...
A. 11 February 2014: Anyone could be correct here. There still leaves a chance that he is in jail but forgot your number. He could be in a coma. Maybe he died. Let's say you never talked to his family members and don't know who they are. You wait until Valentine's day ... (read in full...)
Is he joking and messing about? I don't understand what he wants!
Q. I joined a website about 7 months ago (not a dating website, just penpals) and I met this guy on the site and we hit it off as friends straight away. He's in the military and I'm studying at university. While we was on tour in Afghan, we used ...
A. 10 February 2014: First thing he said, that you are just friends is a disclaimer for the second one. He wants to have the girlfriend experience without actually being your boyfriend. I would take it to mean that he wants friends with benefits. It's the vagueness that ... (read in full...)
We moved too fast -- is this saveable?
Q. Rewind to a year and a half ago. I met a really great man when I went out with a friend who was in town. I am a teacher and am in the process of adopting my foster daughter who I have had since birth. Before I met him, we were happy and I felt ...
A. 10 February 2014: You sound very understanding to me. For him, you need not only be understanding, but tolerating, forgiving and forgetting your own needs. Whether it is savable depends on how flexible you are, if you could bend over backwards to accommodate such ... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 10 February 2014: I don't think it is a sweeping statement to suggest porn is linked to marital problems. It's not the end all be all culprit, but it does make a catchy article and a hearty debate. These articles were featured in psychology today and huffington post. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and said he will leave for a while. What should I do?
Q. [Mod note: the title of this question is in the poster's own words, although the remainder of the post does not reference bipolar disorder.] My boyfriend and I have had some ups and downs lately. He has been drinking lot lately, and I don't like to ...
A. 9 February 2014: Okay he has bipolar. No need to explain in detail about his symptoms and what he did. For some people they don't know what it is like to be with a bipolar person.
It is a debate whether bipolar people has the ability to manipulate, like do pets mani... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 9 February 2014: The person you pair up with for life is usually not your sexual ideal. The priority is that he/she has the qualities needed to sustain the test of being there long term. Everything else is secondary. When it comes to a fling or a fantasy, you get to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has disappeared and I am very worried.
Q. Hello, I am having a difficult time and I need some advice. First, I have been in a relationship with someone and it hasn't been long, only two months. We got along great and talked all the time for hours. We have always been able to work out any ...
A. 9 February 2014: 3 years for hitting someone? That sounds serious. Maybe he's back in jail because he didn't follow up with the probation requirements. Before you met him, your life is fine. So if you lost him, you'll be fine too. He has lots of issues, baggage. You ... (read in full...)
Can you do fine without friends?
Q. Hey everyone, so I'll try to make this as simple as I can. I have a problem I'd like to talk about here and get advice, but also have a few questions. My questions basically has to do with friendships and people. How important is friendship? What...
A. 9 February 2014: I asked this question to a therapist at age 16. She gave me a one size fit all answer, yes of course you need friends. Being young and trusting of adult figures that answer destroyed me and I broke down crying. If you have four people here telling ... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 9 February 2014: Maybe off topic but I find it interesting that feminist country Iceland wants to ban online pornography. They have the happiest people but divorce rate is also one of the highest. ... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 9 February 2014: Porn is only part of the problem. Here you have the third aunt and I happen to be a porn watcher. It all depends on who you talk to. If you only look at statistics gathered by porn haters with an agenda then you would feel the need to defend. As to ... (read in full...)
Finally stood up to my mother after years of her belittling, but am worried I went too far!
Q. My mom is very controlling..and today, I finally stood up for myself. But i don't know if i took things too far. Over the years, she has constantly harassed me about my weight (always calling me fat, despite me being 5'9 and 160 lbs, and work ou...
A. 9 February 2014: Didn't expect you are Chinese because few are tall like you. As a Chinese I can relate but maybe I spent more years in Hong Kong so I didn't really conclude my mom as belittling. It was just her style and how she was raised. It was even tougher for ... (read in full...)
You wouldn't leave if you were in love, right?
Q. Idk if he loves me. Lots of points please listen and please help me. First during are 15 years he left me 3 times says he had good reasons now i dont think guys people leave the ones they love unless they dont love them. In serious cases like abuse ...
A. 9 February 2014: He is too selfish to love. His leaving is not because he doesn't love you. I don't think he has the capacity to love so the normal rules don't even apply to him. His leaving is to manipulate you to comply to his wishes, to break your spirit so that ... (read in full...)
Why the sudden drop in contact?
Q. I've been dating a man for about 8 months. Since we got together, we have chatted every day-usually all day, everyday (facebook chat, skype, phone calls, text) We live several states apart, so we've only seen each other in person a few times. The ...
A. 9 February 2014: The whole day chatting is hard to maintain. When you live several states away from each other all you rely on is his words and his promise. Until the day you finally get married and settle in with the blended family you would always be wondering if ... (read in full...)
I cant provide money for us since I can't escourt so should I end things?
Q. K this is pretty serious. We've been together almost a year, we are both head over heels in love. I asked him to marry me he said yes. Hes a tattoo artist Im 25 hes 47. We share symptoms, we're twin flames. Recently we have been having some mon...
A. 8 February 2014: You don't have a place to go, so the only thing you could do is stay and save up enough money to rent somewhere else. He didn't tell you to leave because if it weren't for you and your escorting you would lose the flat together. If it was a girl who ... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to date her after she blew me off?
Q. There's this girl I've been dated during December. She had to go to her hometown for the holidays, right after new years eve. Up until that point everything was almost perfect, and we were both pretty excited about each other. We agreed that it ...
A. 8 February 2014: I think it takes a super relaxed person to start all over with a clean state, as if you never met her before. If you are a person who likes to analyze, to the point of obsessing, you are going to form images of her and that guy. You are going to ... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly become squeamish about a full on kiss on the lips after we had enjoyed such intimacy? It hurt my feelings.
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 6 months now. Before him, I have never had a boyfriend and basically no sexual experience; unlike him. He is 25, I just turned 22. Because of the fact I haven't done anything with anyone ...
A. 8 February 2014: He's not the first guy who doesn't like kissing after oral sex and he won't be the last one. One of my partners said that the smell and taste of his own cum makes him nauseous. Not just the odor but also the scary fact that it's his little little ... (read in full...)
What do we have together? Is it possible that finally our disparity of feelings has reduced?
Q. I've "been with" this guy for over a year now. I put that in quotes because even though we are pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend, there is no title. It's been a long, tumultuous year, filled with a lot of uncertainty and infidelity on his part...
A. 8 February 2014: The relationship is not something he aspires to have. More like he is dealing with it out of guilt, and also to make sure no one else could have you. You love him because you are attached to him. He'd never had to earn your love. When something is ... (read in full...)
Scared to commit. It's me who is not ready, so what is my problem?
Q. I need some insight into a new relationship. I am a year out of a divorce and just started dating again. I have not been with a man in two yrs. Well, I recently met someone who seems to be great. We have been dating for almost 4 months. We rece...
A. 8 February 2014: 4 months is not enough time to make long term decisions. There is much more to marriage than being financially stable. You should take the time to get to know each other. You felt like your first marriage was a mistake and you just want to make sure ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has disappeared and I am very worried.
Q. Hello, I am having a difficult time and I need some advice. First, I have been in a relationship with someone and it hasn't been long, only two months. We got along great and talked all the time for hours. We have always been able to work out any ...
A. 7 February 2014: Isn't it a coincidence that there is silence right after you said I love you to him? He said he loved you too much. Are you sure he meant it the same way you did? You can't blame women for having expectations. He is the one who promised the future ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to trust her again? Do I confront her?
Q. Me (20, female) and my girlfriend (21) broke up a while ago. Until last month, we got back together. I've discovered a lot about her during the time we were apart. She slept with a workmate, I found out she was on a datingsite, there's a whole li...
A. 7 February 2014: You are not bringing up old shit if it's happening still today. Sounds like she is still angry about the break up and doing things to be spiteful. You can't trust her because she said she would remove the dating site but she didn't. You got back ... (read in full...)
Is he playing hard to get?
Q. Hey ! I broke up with my ex 3 months ago because he wasn't ready for dating. I know I made a mistake, but he really make me feel like we were in a competition : "You are successful, I'm not" "Your conversation is stimulating, which is no...
A. 5 February 2014: I am not sure how making comparisons between you two mean that he's not ready for dating. Or did he say he's not ready to commit? I don't think he said those things because you are in a competition, but more like an observation. He is telling the ... (read in full...)
Calling all girls in long term relationships for opinions...
Q. Hi. Please do not make any judgements or assumptions. I simply want opinions from girls in LT relationships. How would you feel if your boyfriend went travelling with a boy mate without inviting you for one month to six months? ...
A. 4 February 2014: It depends on what kind of trip it is. Although I had travelled a lot in the past for sight seeing, it is hard for me to imagine a trip that lasts longer than one month. You mention boy mate, not best friend so I don't see the importance or urgency ... (read in full...)
Dating a shy guy, or is he just not interested?
Q. Me and this guy have been in touch for nearly 2 months, from the first day we met. After spending loads of time talking to eachother online, we finally had our very first date the other night. He was very shy, considering him being 34 and me 25, I ...
A. 4 February 2014: Right now you don't know anything about him. What I would do is set your own pace and take charge. He may be a gentleman who does not want to rush things or look creepy or too forward. If he is prompt with the meetings then it's a sign he is ... (read in full...)
Can a guy get feelings for FWB?
Q. I've been best friends with this guy for 10 years, even dated for a few days almost a year ago (He broke up with me). Recently we've decided that we want to sleep together, making a friends with benefits, though he told me that he doesn't change (I ...
A. 4 February 2014: I don't think if you dated for a few days there could be a break up because you couldn't be bfs gfs in that short amount of time. I don't believe he developed feelings for you because if he had he wouldn't have broken up only of few days' dating. If ... (read in full...)
He did a search on "how to cheat on your girlfriend"!
Q. I think I know what a lot of the answers will be from this, however I'd love to get some different opinions. I have been cheated on in my one other past relationship and that had seriously caused me some trust issues. I have been with my man now ...
A. 4 February 2014: January is the most depressing month of the year. The climax is over. People are broke and back to work again. Still, there is no reason for a breakdown.
I don't think this is about you. For a person who can't commit to one person even a perf... (read in full...)
Don't want to misrepresent myself but ...
Q. I am a 25 male and trying online dating I am short most of the woman are taller than me I have no problem dating taller women but I have heard that most women won't date a shorter men I don't know how true this is. I know complete honesty is ...
A. 4 February 2014: Put your height there. Whenever I see the physical attributes section left blank, or undisclosed I suspect some kind of birth defect or disability. If you are healthy and strong that's all it matters. I understand that you want to leave it blank ... (read in full...)
I wish I had given him my number, now what do I do?
Q. Hey Aunties and Uncles!!! I have been working in an office for the last two years and have been single for about 8 months. About 10 months ago a new manager started at work. At first i hated him, he was arrogant, rude and loud. He aske...
A. 3 February 2014: No it's not creepy. Send him an email and tell him you hesitated and now you decide to give it a chance. No need to say a lot. Give it to him little by little. Let him guess what you are thinking. ... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at attracting some 18-29 girl? Even if it's just to have as a friend?
Q. So, I'm 30 years old and I look at my life and feel like the only people I have in it are older people (my family and friends of my father's mostly). Dating-wise, it's gotten to the point where the only attention I ever get is from women at least ...
A. 3 February 2014: I think so. There are girls who like the older type. You just have to look for a younger woman who's not into smoking drinking or sleeping around. The 18-29 year range is not a stereotype of women who do certain things. If you want validation I ... (read in full...)
What's happened to my long-distance friendship?
Q. hey I met a guy online and ever since that we have been friends for 5 years recently I went to his country to see him. through our friendship he has always told me he has feelings for me and he loves and respects me saying if you were here with me ...
A. 3 February 2014: He learns to be careful about what he asks for, because a dream is very different from real life. In dreams, everything is perfect, there is no awkwardness, and you don't care about the blurred boundaries of friendship or serious partner. I am not ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to get involved again. Will my current friend dissapear if or when I do sleep with him?
Q. Dear all.Your thoughts would be welcome. I recently got out of a very volatile relationship with a controlling and mentally abusive man. I lost my confidence,and was constantly worried,but with the support of my freinds, i finally got away I ...
A. 2 February 2014: He is not understanding if he can't control himself and ask you for sex again. If you still have PTSD syndrome lingering you should take it really slow until you can trust him and you know that you are exclusive with each other. Keep your dates in a ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for his friends to insult a guy who puts his Bf first?
Q. Is it normal behaviour for a man to insult their friends for putting their girlfriends first? My best friend goes out with my boyfriend's best friend, and the other day the two guys started talking about going to Amsterdam for a lads weekend. ...
A. 2 February 2014: It sounds like your boyfriend feels whipped just being in a relationship. To me that's not normal, but normal for people who had not grown up. He cares more about what his friends say and do, than a significant other, or supposedly to be significant ... (read in full...)
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