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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I want to be doubly sure that my behaviour around my baby sister is appropriate
Q. Okay so I am female and 13 years old, and she's still just a little one, six months old. I was wondering if it is appropriate to kiss your little sister on the cheek/forehead? We had a family member living with us years ago that attempted to molest ...
A. 20 July 2014: Oh yes definitely. You know that you are just trying to show her love. ... (read in full...)
It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper
Q. Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...
A. 20 July 2014: Does the housekeeper have your key or does she only clean when both of you are at home? It could be a privacy issue because when she comes he can't relax anymore. He can't be naked if he wants to be. He can't have sex when she is here. If that's the ... (read in full...)
I feel like everything I valued about our relationship now means nothing
Q. I'm my boyfriends 3rd serious girlfriend. He had one relationship that lasted for 3 years, another that lasted 10 months, and us. There were a lot of obstacles in the way of our relationship to start with and we worked hard to be together (only th...
A. 20 July 2014: He could have thought she was the one, but the impact of the break up was bad and he didn't see her the same way anymore. To say she was nothing is either to trivialize the experience or to try to forget about the pain. When you love someone so much ... (read in full...)
Why won't he kiss me passionately?
Q. I v been dating a man for a few weeks . Its obvious that we find each other attractive and hug ,hold hands and we have kissed but not a passionate kiss it felt like a peck of endearment . So my question is why wont he kiss me passionately ? ...
A. 19 July 2014: Maybe he is a gentleman and won't bring up the sex topic until you do. Passionate kisses give men a hard on, and leaving them frustrated if sex doesn't follow. If you think you can be serious with him then you can take the lead. Right now he could ... (read in full...)
Why are some younger guys physically attracted to older women?
Q. When you write that question on google, you get a lot of answers such: having their life together, being more self-assured, more open sexually, etc etc, but I was wondering how some younger men find bodies with signs of aging attractive, what do ...
A. 19 July 2014: You are the same one talking about the overweight younger guy in another post. Why contemplate a relationship when you are not attracted to him yourself?... (read in full...)
Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...
A. 19 July 2014: The battle of the sexes has been there since long time ago. Sometimes men and women can't understand each other at all. You can say that men are from mars and women are from venus. To be compatible in a relationship I say that some degree of ... (read in full...)
What needs to change so that girls want to go out with me and so that I can go on to develop a relationship with a girl?
Q. Now this is probably going to sound a bit doom and gloom. But it's something I've put a large amount of time pondering over and I guess it's the "elephant in the room" for my life. I have used this site for many years now. Constantly posti...
A. 19 July 2014: You mean you want to be content with life outside of this, as opposed to contempt?
What needs to change is how you initiate a conversation with girls and how to get them interested. I've tried online dating. I find that very few of them know how ... (read in full...)
Socially and emotionally Ostracised at home. Need to feel better about me and find a job so I can move out. How can I cope better?
Q. In short details: I'm 18. No friends (I have no way to work on that until September; I only have a couple of online friends). No family except mum, dad and sister. Emotionally neglected at home for eleven years. Seen three counsellors but ...
A. 19 July 2014: That kind of avoidance is not normal. They may not link their neglect with your mental health issues. Maybe they want to stay away because their lives are stressful and your mental health issues make them feel worse. They try to make the issue go ... (read in full...)
Socially and emotionally Ostracised at home. Need to feel better about me and find a job so I can move out. How can I cope better?
Q. In short details: I'm 18. No friends (I have no way to work on that until September; I only have a couple of online friends). No family except mum, dad and sister. Emotionally neglected at home for eleven years. Seen three counsellors but ...
A. 19 July 2014: That's very unfortunate. My parents had always shown my brother more attention because he's the older one and boys need to make sure they have career. The neglect had caused depression in me. My mom had said that after all the attention she gave my ... (read in full...)
Could marriage work for us in the future if we have different standards right now? His binge drinking was an issue in the past.
Q. Hello, I have been living with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and I have some questions. I need some perspective on my situation. He is ready to marry me, and I am not so sure. He asked me a few months ago and I said no because we were ...
A. 19 July 2014: He had agreed to stop for the sake of the relationship, otherwise drinking is fine with friends or when single. I think fathers are more protective towards daughters so I don't see him telling his teenage daughter, "yes have fun, and drink with the ... (read in full...)
Should I give it time to develop? I feel confused about my Online long distance friend. I really like her.
Q. Hi everyone Sorry, new to this site so not exactly sure how it works but I'll just ask away. Well basically I'm in a sort of confusing position with this girl who is my best friend. She's from Taiwan and we've been talking (online) for at ...
A. 19 July 2014: The only way you can reassure her that you won't do what her last boyfriend did is to talk about marriage, which is unrealistic as you are too far apart to even date. Can you afford plane trips and hotel? How often could you visit each other? Does ... (read in full...)
Socially and emotionally Ostracised at home. Need to feel better about me and find a job so I can move out. How can I cope better?
Q. In short details: I'm 18. No friends (I have no way to work on that until September; I only have a couple of online friends). No family except mum, dad and sister. Emotionally neglected at home for eleven years. Seen three counsellors but ...
A. 19 July 2014: Your parents don't give you attention because they had never been given attention by your grand parents. They are not doing this to make you feel unimportant. They do not know it as neglect and do not know the negative effect it has on you. There ... (read in full...)
His attitude has me wondering if he knew that he had herpes and didn't tell me. Do I walk away?
Q. Hi - about 12 months ago my boyfriend (who I have been with for a couple of years)was diagnosed with a condition called 'balanitis' and it has been difficult to treat. He also had genital herpes early during the diagnosis which the clinic felt may ...
A. 19 July 2014: Herpes is no doubt a sexually transmitted disease. The symptoms vary from one person to another. His condition is very severe. I don't know if it's related to balanitis which is suppressing his immunity. One thing I also know is that herpes has ... (read in full...)
I think a man who wants woman will not let her go!
Q. I met a man and everything fell together so seamlessly. We were both crazy about each other and he told me he saw a future with me, and very quickly was telling me he was in love with me (within a month). I am weary of people falling too quickly ...
A. 19 July 2014: I believe he is letting you go because that hurts less than you breaking up with him 6 years later. He loves you at the same time it's take it or leave it with him. What a man like this can teach you is unconditional love. You love and accept how he ... (read in full...)
I think a man who wants woman will not let her go!
Q. I met a man and everything fell together so seamlessly. We were both crazy about each other and he told me he saw a future with me, and very quickly was telling me he was in love with me (within a month). I am weary of people falling too quickly ...
A. 18 July 2014: Sadly a lot of men are like that. A man who has lots of free time you would complain that he has no ambition. Relationships are not a man's strongest area. Women are raised to bond and relate to others. He would think for a sense of connection you ... (read in full...)
His temper is threatening to spoil this relationship!!
Q. I'm so stuck with this. I don't know if I'm being over picky or if I'm being sensible. My partner of 2 years is brilliant. No, better than that, he's incredible! We met a few years ago through mutual friends and he made it obvious he liked me but ...
A. 18 July 2014: You should be picky. Tell him that he needs to learn how to regulate his emotions. He might need a tranquillizer or cognitive therapy. If you live together then may be you want to move out for a while until his issues get sorted. Tell him you are ... (read in full...)
A question for men on women's weight?
Q. I would like some advice on something that came up in a previous question that has also been on my mind . I am a healthy weight woman according to the weight for height charts and yet at times when I have lost weight and become somewhat underwei...
A. 18 July 2014: I think you get attention when you were underweight because most women your age are overweight. It is a rarity to see a slim woman nowadays. People not just men, will wonder, do you work out or do you simply have good genes? Average women don't get ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get past the fact that she had so many partners before me?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of months now after being friends for around a year. She's a really nice girl and couldn't do more for me, however I don't seem to be able to get over the fact she has such a large backlog of ex-partners. ...
A. 18 July 2014: I think I lost track of my number. It's under 20 but having an exact count 29 means she remembers all of them. Some young girls don't feel ashamed or embarrassed by the number. She may feel that her number proves that she is desired, or she thinks ... (read in full...)
I think a man who wants woman will not let her go!
Q. I met a man and everything fell together so seamlessly. We were both crazy about each other and he told me he saw a future with me, and very quickly was telling me he was in love with me (within a month). I am weary of people falling too quickly ...
A. 18 July 2014: You think most married couples have a lot of time with each other? You are more bothered by the fact that he is letting you go, after just a simple complaint of wanting more quality time. It seems he does not see himself changing his lifestyle to a ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I have a tight family and this sort of falling out will be a huge deal but I'm also not going to give up on someone because of someone elses problem
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship on and off for two years and although im not sure what our future holds, on a day to day level we care for each other and we have fun. We recently split for a few months as the distance was tough and ...
A. 17 July 2014: I don't know why you will have a fallout due to who you date. I am not sure why a man having a child is considered a problem. At your age it's hard to date a man who's childless and never married. A man close to 40 and unmarried, you have to worry ... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 17 July 2014: I don't really respect men whose facebook have skank pictures in them. They may feel that those pictures prop up their profile. They think that their male friends would be jealous that so many hot girls would like to be friends. For women though, it ... (read in full...)
How do I regain some control?
Q. Were now a year in to our relationship At first i couldnt believe how amazing he was. Ive definitely never loved anyone like i love him and hes like my best friend but the past 6 weeks hes been really distant and is cancelling plans. Ive always been ...
A. 16 July 2014: You can regain control of yourself, your emotions, but not in the relationship because love is a partnership and you are both equal. You try to talk to him and find out why he is distant, listen to his reasons and then find out if any problems can ... (read in full...)
Is my online friend right to be angry that I didn't ask him for money?
Q. I have a great online friendship been going on about 18 months now, we are good friends have lots of chats and fun. Earlier this year I was out of work and he was very supportive of me cheering me up and just being there for me to chat when I was do...
A. 16 July 2014: People have the right to feel whatever they want, but to direct that anger at you is not right. It did not mean you did something wrong by not asking him or considering him as a friend. It's your choice to cancel membership and not to rely on ... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 13 July 2014: How long have you known him, and do you use condoms together? When was the last time he was with his ex? When you said there's no semen in the condom, I take it to mean that it's already open and the wrapper wasn't there. Men don't always cum inside ... (read in full...)
How could I possibly tell this girl that the reason we can't be friends right now is because I still have feelings for her?
Q. There's this girl that goes to the same classes as I do. At first I had a major crush on her and couldn't stop thinking of her. I told her how I felt but she said that she didn't feel the same and she wasn't ready to be with anyone else as she just ...
A. 13 July 2014: When she said that she's not ready because she just got out of a serious relationship, those words are brittle as well. Look how quickly she moved on when she saw a guy she fancies. You are angry at yourself because you didn't listen to your gut.
W... (read in full...)
I get the silent treatment every time we have an argument!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship with a very passive aggressive man. We've been together for 2 years. We had a small argument 2 weeks ago, and i did apologize to him the next day telling him that i'm going through a lot of stress l...
A. 12 July 2014: You are in a long distance relationship, so he can't really be there for you. The last thing a man needs in a long distance relationship is more space. I don't think he's disappearing because you had an argument, but rather it's reversed. You are ... (read in full...)
Reconnected with my ex.... but does he prefer the girl he dated while we were apart?
Q. Silly question here.... I was with my boyfriend for 8 years and we broke up two years ago. I broke up with him for some various reasons that seem to have all been a big case of misunderstand now it seems. Miscommunications. We recently reconnec...
A. 12 July 2014: I think he was showing you his messages to make you feel jealous. You have just reconnected and neither of you know the future in this, whether you would get married or break up again. He said he broke up with her because he didn't feel a ... (read in full...)
Looking for advice about a friend I've fallen for
Q. I am looking for advice about a female friend I have fallen in love with. I am 52, divorced with one child, and in a live in relationship that is winding down. This woman is 47, married with one teen child. We have known each other for about 5 ...
A. 10 July 2014: She teased you throughout the friendship and you got attached to her but her type is younger men with problems in life. She just wants you to be interested in her. I don't know of what use her husband is. I think she got one man for money, one man ... (read in full...)
Her ex crush is moving into or 8 person apartment!
Q. Hey guys, I havent been on here in a while, but I figured it was a good time to ask a question that has been bugging me for a while. First, a little history: In August, I moved into my apartment (duplex, 4 people per side). I met my neigh...
A. 10 July 2014: I would worry too. I would try my best to rent it out to another person. Other than that there's nothing else you could do. Even if he doesn't move in I would worry too. You and her have history. You've known each other for a long time but not ... (read in full...)
What do women think about men, fitness and fights?
Q. So, I'm a pretty peaceful guy. I'm going to school for biochemistry (which I love), and spend most of my life in the lab or library. I study hard, get good grades and generally enjoy prefer mental work as opposed to anything physical -- except for ...
A. 10 July 2014: You trigger the primal desire of a woman wanting to be competed for. It's like this in the whole animal kingdom. Realistically, fighting can get you into legal trouble. There is the attraction part and also the civil part we have to respect. You can ... (read in full...)
Should I be more forward
Q. I feel lately , I am a stuck in the mud or am not having fun like I should be. I here of a lot of relationships where people are cheating or have cheated in the past and it kind of feels although it’s kind of accepted to happen at my age and ...
A. 10 July 2014: Uh no, you can't use the justification that many people is cheating and therefore it's okay to help someone cheat. In the case with your coworker who has a boyfriend, you need to be prudish. You are trying to find reasons why this is okay, and I see ... (read in full...)
How to prove to my girlfriend I will not walk out on her and our baby?
Q. I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20 and we are together for the past seven months. We met online and dated for 8 weeks before we decided to become a couple. I never thought I could connect with someone her age nor ever have a relationship, but she is ...
A. 10 July 2014: Yes MARRY HER! Show her how happy you are being a father. Suggest names for boy or girl, do ring shopping, and start building relationships with in laws on both sides. Hire a massage therapist. Emphasize that the baby needs a stable family, the two ... (read in full...)
I feel I am constantly waiting for him and wasting my life away ...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six years and we have a son together who is 3 years old. We all live together, my partner works 16 hour days, and he works nights. He only gets one day off but even on his day off i don't see him as he lays in bed ...
A. 9 July 2014: Oh how can you say that taking care of your son is wasting your life away. Parenting a kid is the most sacred job of all. The parental bond for the first three years is the most crucial. It shapes how he is. Your attitude influence his. Maybe there ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 9 July 2014: In your original post we are under the impression that this guy had never tried polyamory and gave it a go with you. In your update he has only been polyamorous. So there is some confusion here. I think polyamory only works for him as long as the ... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this and save my marriage?
Q. I desperately need advice! I have a male friend of many years. We have always been very close and share many mutual interests, we are a lot alike spiritually and have always understood each other even though he is of different nationality and ...
A. 8 July 2014: Yes you can get out of this and save your marriage. You had forgotten what it feels like to be in love with your husband, and you think that because you feel those chemicals now with this guy that means he is more lovable than your husband. The ... (read in full...)
I am wondering if my partner has mild autism or Aspergers - does anyone have any experience please?
Q. I am worried about my partner's wellbeing and am wondering if he has a mild form of autism or Aspergers. He recently split up with me on a complete whim (we were very happy until two hours before) as he thought our relationship was what was making ...
A. 8 July 2014: My lifestyle is similar to him but I am not miserable. I had been depressed before but now I am happy. He prefers non verbal expression of affection. For you to be satisfied you want him to express his feelings more. Is it possible that you accept ... (read in full...)
I need my boyfriend's support right now and all he wants to do is argue
Q. hey guys I am just going to give you a brief background before telling you the issue. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years we have been living together 6 months and have recently bought a puppy together...you'll see why this ...
A. 8 July 2014: No you were not overreacting and he was insensitive but I think he would come around and apologize after he calms down. My current boyfriend is the caring type. He would pray for me even when I had a flu. Contrasting with my ex who would feel ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. i would like to ask about my boyfriend of six years. he got another girl pregnant. i saw them dating through the pictures in facebook. i ask my boyfriend first but he refuse to answer. thats why i directly ask the girl. she said that my boyfriend is ...
A. 7 July 2014: Six years you and him are still not prepared? I think he's lying about not loving her and trying to make it sound like an accident, or mistake so that it won't make him so wrong. He did a worse thing here which is to put the blame on you instead of ... (read in full...)
I have too much anxiety to be happy in my relationship.
Q. I have a negative attitude when it comes to relationships and have many fears. I've been through hell in many of my past relationships; some of my exes were good guys but some of them made me feel like sh*t such as one of my first boyfriends when I ...
A. 6 July 2014: I think everyone has anxiety like yours to some extent. Some people try their best to contain it while some vocally express what's in their minds. As long as you are not overbearing and he is understanding then your relationship will be fine. A ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my baby daddy but now I wonder if I was wrong?
Q. I'm so ashamed and I thought I was ready to move on from my bf/baby's dad. I cheated on him by having sex and kissing another guy! I was going to lunch and stuff with this new guy for maybe 2 months now. . I went behind his back because he's been ...
A. 6 July 2014: For the new guy you just stop replying to his calls. You don't owe him anything and no need to damage his ego by talking about his size. Regarding your baby's daddy you are not committed to each other. When people have children together whether ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: I wouldn't say you screwed up because you told him up front and he tried it. He has to know that polyamory is a phase you go through and it is not in your personality your whole life. Intent in a relationship is important because it's a foundation ... (read in full...)
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