A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you tell whether or not you're attractive? Is there any way to know for sure? I ask because I know we see ourselves different to how others see us. Also some days we feel better about ourselves than others. How do we know if what we feel is accurate? I've heard of 'beautiful' people having receiving special treatment such as getting jobs they weren't qualified for, having strangers help them if they fall down or finding excuses to approach them and strike up a conversation, and many other things. I didn't believe that until I witnessed someone today get special treatment from a stranger. I had a doctor's appointment, and was sitting in the waiting room. The woman across from me made eye contact for a second, then looked away. I'm in my mid 20s, and she looked about 10 years older than me. Then this woman walked in who looked to be in her late teens, slim with long hair, attractive. I noticed the woman across from me kept looking over at her, and then struck up a conversation with her. I'd been sitting across from her for a good 15 minutes, and it's like she'd done everything possible to avoid even looking at me. When this woman walked in, her mood completely changed. She suddenly wanted to socialize. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I did. I also struggle with jobs. I've never been promoted even when I was qualified and had been at a job long enough. Now that I think back, it was attractive people who got the promotions. I'm having a day where I don't feel I look good because I didn't get a chance to take a shower, and I recently cut off a lot of my hair. I'm also in a new area and looking for friends. I feel that woman's behavior confirmed I look bad today, so now I worry that every time I've thought I looked bad it was true. I was hoping I just had low self esteem and that I actually looked better. What do you think? Is our perception of ourselves true a lot of the time? And if you are beautiful, how do you get treated most of the time, by both men and women?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 August 2014):
 I can be considered attractive, but still the quiet and unassuming type. I don't like attention myself, so naturally don't draw a lot of attention. My confidence in myself is a little above average. Having confidence helps. There are people with the ability to command respect and make people listen. I am not one of them. I don't think this has to do with just beauty. Some people have a loud presence and just their appearance is a conversational piece.
You can be qualified for your job but you still need to be able to convince people why you are suited for your job. A lot of the times it's the whole package. You don't need to have perfect features but when you do make up, hair and nails it gives people the impression that you are detail oriented. It's true but sad that the world can be shallow and visually oriented. When you look good you feel good. So if you can spend effort to change your appearance then your perception of yourself changes positively too. It will help bring out what you have already inside.
A hair cut can take a day or two to settle. Right now you can do something else to your face or your body to draw attention away from your hair, which will grow back soon.
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