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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): If a colleague at work bought me perfume I would be embarrassed and thinking he was making a pass at me. Alternatively if I was already in a relationship with him then it would be normal. My guess is that someone caught him giving her perfume or someone asked her who the perfume was from and she told them or they found out. He is covering his tracks. I would not trust this situation one little bit.
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male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (31 July 2014):
 let me say it is a very personal gift to be giving another woman. something like that should be reserved as a gift to you from him only. that is a very personal item to give to another woman.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 July 2014):
 *** forgot to add****
Buying her perfume isn't CHEATING on you. It's a (IMHO) bad choice in present. That is all.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 July 2014):
I do not think perfume is an OK gift to a co-worker. I think it's a rather intimate gift. Now if it was a gift basket with all kind of soapy/spa stuff I'd say no worries, but perfume? That is not OK.
Either you husband doesn't think it's inappropriate or an intimate present (which could be the case) or there is more to it.
Did he not ask you our opinion on what to get her? I know my husband bought a co-worker a gift when she was promoted and transferred and he asked ME what I thought would be a good gift for a woman her age ( in her 20's).
If there are no other signs, I'd not make a big deal out of this.
Many men (from my experience) are notoriously bad at buying presents for women.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): Yes you should be worried if you're asking about it here there must be other things you're worried about too. I don't think it's necessary to buy gifts for co workers unless it is an office grab bag type thing. I have never given any kind of gift to a co worker except contributing to gifts for secretaries which I didn't have anything to do with the purchase of.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (30 July 2014):
 He could have told you because he has nothing to hide or because he has everything to hide but wanted to throw you off by telling you. We don't know what's going on just like you don't however, if your hubby has done anything in the past that raised an eyebrow then you might have to worry this time around.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): Sorry but I'm with SoVeryConfused on this one - I can completely imagine someone trying to 'legitimise' their boundary blurring gift by seeming to be open and honest and a bit naive about it and just telling their wife. I know exactly how men do this - he has effectively done a bit of a dirty and, by telling you about it, is effectively passing the buck to you to call him out on it. I've had this time and again with an ex partner and I've also known men friends to do similar things - effectively overstep some line or other (not necessarily sexual) and then wait to see if you will call them out on it. It's a very common and manipulative ploy.Perfume for a female co-worker being innocent or neutral as a gift? Yeah, right and pigs might fly. No way on earth is that a neutral gift and you know it. Your instincts are bang on the money and he has succeeded in passing the buck to you. I'd be very pissed off not just because of the gift, but because of his acting all open and innocent about it. Deceitful, immature but dangerous kind of behaviour that will lead to more and more manipulation over time.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): It is normal to give presents to work colleagues on their special days, that is at least where I work. I think you shouldn't worry unless there are other red flags.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): I think he sounds honest enough by telling you about the perfume, just so long as you are not old perfume.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): It's not abnormal to give someone perfume or a bathing/wellness kit for their birthday. However, in my opinion it's more of a women's thing. It is reserved between women to exchange perfume, shampoo, soap or anything of the sort while a man can choose to give a women a box of chocolate or flowers.
Personally I do think that buying a perfume for your co-worker is a little too..
but that's an opinion.
But if he announced to you that he would buy said perfume, I don't think you should be bothered by it.
if it was a very expensive perfume however, it is a red flag!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): If he was up to anything, I don't think he would have told you about the gift. Maybe he couldn't think of anything a woman would like, and perfume was the first thing that came to mind. It may have been inappropriate for a married-man to offer a personal and/or intimate gift such as a fragrance; but I think he just didn't know any better. He ran it by you, so don't worry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): I feel if he had something to hide he wouldn't of told you. And men are naff at gift ideas for women he probably went with the easiest idea.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 July 2014):
 Well either he's got no bad intent and is just inappropriate (perfume is a rather personal gift unless she marinates in it and he likes the scent and she told him which one it was)
or he's got bad intentions and is smart enough to throw you off the "scent" of his bad behavior by putting it in your face.
It seems a bit personal for a co-worker. I have worked with my coworkers for 10 years at the same job and we are very close and I would not buy something that personal for one of my friends (and that would be woman to woman)
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 July 2014):
 I would always advise you to be cautious. On the other hand your husband is following good boundaries. He is telling you you about the present before he gives it. Perfume is a strange choice as it is quite personal. Some guys just are not good at choosing presents.
FA
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 July 2014):
 Perfume is like a generic gift besides chocolate, wine and gift card. If it's an office party then everyone got something for her. It's not like they are having a private party with just the two of them. He is open to share this with you. If he was hiding he wouldn't even mention it. If your husband has done nothing to shake your trust then there is nothing to worry.
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