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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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How do you let a man understand that having premarital sex is not the way to go
Q. Any man out here waited for their woman who did not want to have premarital sex and married her? And how are you doing in the marriage. Or do you know of anyone who this worked for? I am recently single two years ago and made a vow to the Lord ...
A. 1 November 2014: I think the long distance makes it hard. How do you expect a man to spend on on a month's lodging plus money on dates, if you won't allow him to stay over because there is no sex? How many times can he afford this in a year in order to get to know ... (read in full...)
Falling for partner's friend
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship for 15 yrs. it's not a good relationship and hasn't been for at least 5 yrs or so, we are really only together out of easiness and we have an 8 yr old daughter. Other than that we sort of lead separate lives. The ...
A. 30 October 2014: The first person you should talk to is your partner. 5 years ago something happened or you just took each other for granted. But the first 10 years was okay or good. See if he still wants to improve on the relationship. You may forget how it feels ... (read in full...)
Violence and lack of respect in our marriage -- how do we work on this on our own?
Q. Once in awhile my husband and I get into some real physical fights, which is NOT acceptable, I know that. Last night it started with my husband coming home after travelling for a week (I was alone with my toddlers), and he noticed a crack in the ...
A. 30 October 2014: Apologize for hitting him but firmly tell him this is not to continue. You want to live in harmony and get along with each other. Whenever he raises his voice you have to refuse to talk to him until he calms down. Only tell him this once and if he ... (read in full...)
I no longer fancy my wife
Q. Hi all, I am in my 50's been married 25 years got two great kids , grown up, mootgage payed blah blah but just hate my life My wife does a lot, cook, wash, iron that's it, a housemaid She is lazy, layback, won't communicate with me. My life is c...
A. 30 October 2014: The years that she worked 27 hours and with that income she didn't share with you? Like she hid it in her account? If there is no sex then I do understand why you are angry. But there are still many old fashioned men who take pride in providing for ... (read in full...)
I'm in a badly sex-deprived long term marriage!
Q. I've been married for 22 years, and feel terribly sexually starved by my partner. If I don't ask (often beg, demand or cajole) for sex, I'll almost never get it. Once I tried waiting for three months, to see if she would think of it. She didn't! ...
A. 30 October 2014: If sex is just something women comply to, doing wifely duty while only men getting orgasm out of it, then women are not going to be interested in it. Not all women are too concerned about orgasms but maybe your wife is frustrated that she never ... (read in full...)
How can I keep the night going, tactfully?
Q. I'm going on a second date with a girl in a couple of days. We went out for drinks on our first date, which was also the first time we met. Overall, the date went well; it wasn't a smash, but we chatted for over an hour and seem to have some things ...
A. 30 October 2014: Keep the night going, like with sex or something close to that following?
My last second date was in a theatre. On the first date we kissed two or three times and that was it. On the second date we kissed more and then just couldn't stop. At the ... (read in full...)
I like the girl I'm dating as a friend but not as a girlfriend
Q. Ive been going out with this girl for about a month now and she's really nice, very sweet but I don't get the nervous butterfly feeling when I'm going to see her and when we don't don't see each other I don't want to see her I know that sounds bad ...
A. 30 October 2014: You can say she's not your type and that you prefer someone who's serious and intellectual or something like that.
Before you make a snap judgment let's see if you can look past her annoying behavior. If all she did was giggle then geez, loos... (read in full...)
I'm very attached to him and rely on him as I am still getting used to living away from home! Advice?
Q. I moved out home for university in september and very soon after arriving a met someone. we were very close for around 5 weeks seeing each other day. and although we weree offically a couple we may have well of been. admittedly we spent too much ...
A. 30 October 2014: You should join clubs in your university. Meet more people because I am sure a lot of people there also miss home. There are counselors available too if you want to talk. Call home more often and get advice from your parents. You can still be his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sending mixed signals, what should I do?
Q. dear cupid, i need your help. i am a virgin and i have been in a relationship for almost six months now. my boyfriend has had sex before and lately hes been hinting that he wants to have sex with me. i was a little scared at first and i kind of felt ...
A. 30 October 2014: The best person to ask is him. Men are less picky about sexual partners than you think. First time sex can be a nervous experience for him too. He's had sex but he has to worry about how you feel, the blood, the awkwardness. If his ex was a virgin ... (read in full...)
Ex wants me back but is still somewhat emotionally unavailable. What gives??
Q. I was with my ex for about 4 years. We broke up around 4 months ago due to constant fighting. I was nagging and complaining about not being treated very well and as a result he'd push me farther away. The more I tried to work things out, the worse ...
A. 29 October 2014: I think by the fourth year you know that fighting isn't going to bring emotional expression out of him. You feel so dead that even fighting is better than dealing with a vacuum. What you want from him isn't what he's able to deliver naturally. He ... (read in full...)
After her meeting with her ex I don't trust her
Q. Hey guys, My relationship it was going great, we understood each other very well. She loves me but her x-bf is irritating her. He still thinks that they're together but they're not. We study in the same college and I went home for a week. She had ...
A. 28 October 2014: She didn't do enough to stop her ex boyfriend. Her story doesn't add up. I don't think a kiss was necessary for a last meeting or a closure, especially taking a picture too. I don't understand why she wants you to see the conversation and the ... (read in full...)
How did we go from an initial attraction to FWB and then to now, where he's making little effort to keep the relationship going?
Q. So, there's a guy (isn't there always) who I met at the end of my long term relationship. He's separated and in the middle of a nasty court battle re kids. He and I initially bonded over our dislike of our exes (great baseline, I know) and have dis...
A. 28 October 2014: He doesn't want a one time deal, but he doesn't want a full on relationship either. He wants it when he wants it, when he's not busy. It's not a very good deal for you. Maybe the next question for him is, "is this a whenever-works-for-you deal, ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy so why am I not more excited about this relationship?
Q. Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. I live with a great guy, we started house sharing in June. He is the kindest, loveliest man I've ever known. Our feelings for each changed in September and we decided to get together. Its been lovely and ...
A. 28 October 2014: Do you just realize now women are attracted to assholes and think nice guys are boring? If you think you are too old for drama and suspense, then what else would make you feel passionate? I just feel at 22-25 it may be too early for you to settle ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him that I have a crush on him and that I love him? I don't want to ruin our friendship.
Q. I dont know what to do anymore. I am head over heels in love with my best friend and we have known each other since we were 6 years old. I now live in a different country from him and we dont see each other a lot. We might see each other at christm...
A. 27 October 2014: A relationship is impractical if you can only see each other once a year, so telling him you love him still hurts you. You can tell him this so it makes him happy and flattered. It would be a cherished memory. It makes you feel better to get it off ... (read in full...)
Why does she resort to passive aggressive and avoidance behavior?
Q. Why does my girlfriend often resort to this type of behavior? She is an adult but I sometimes feel like she is stuck in the past. She'll try to lure me into making plans by giving me a yes or no option, but when the answer doesn't go along with he...
A. 27 October 2014: It takes a very calm person do deal with passive aggressive behavior. She is this way because she is afraid of confrontation and feels she won't be heard. She is always preparing for a crisis and retreating from an imagined abandonment. She has her ... (read in full...)
Should I somehow try to take this to the next level? Or leave things as they are at present?
Q. I'm currently a college freshman studying abroad, and there's this guy who's a senior, also from my country, whom I met back in May, when he finished his junior year and flew back to our hometown. It turned out that he lives at a 5-minute walk from ...
A. 27 October 2014: I think you should leave things as they are. He is referring her to friend on facebook and hiding her pictures because he feels guilty of spending that much time with you. He knows that his girlfriend would not approve this friendship if she knew. ... (read in full...)
At 27 is my lack of experience with girls and no dating experience a red flag and an impediment when trying to date girls?
Q. I'm 27 nearly 28 in December, and I've never had a relationship with a woman. I used to be the gamer guy who played too much up till I was 26 and I had enough and wanted to change my life. The thing is I only really started asking women out only ...
A. 27 October 2014: If this is what you need to get girls interested do it. You are being genuine in a way because you want a relationship and the only way to get a relationship fast is to lie. You just have to find a girl who is not obsessed about your past because ... (read in full...)
Big difficulties ahead. Will this relationship last? What other options are open to me, to consider?
Q. A year ago, I was ready to move to another city, transfer to finish school and leave sex work behind. I had been an escort for over 2 years, had a failed marriage and a child not living with me because of my unstable and crazy lifestyle (he lives ...
A. 27 October 2014: I had never been brave enough to do escorting. You've been in it for so long, so you should get as much as you can out of this, such as a college degree. You wasted your resources by being with this old fling, who is crazier than you are. Remember ... (read in full...)
Unhappily married. Is this younger man interested in me?
Q. Is this younger man interested in me? I am an unhappily married woman who is re-considering her options. One of the main reasons I am still married is for my 2 young children. My husband suffers from a mood disorder, depression and anxiety. In ...
A. 27 October 2014: The thing that kept you in the marriage besides kids is that when you met him he was probably happier and you have hope that he could return to a better stage. I don't think anyone would marry and have two kids with a man who is chronically ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my partner of 5 years who has recently become aggressive and has come close to fighting with my family?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years now We live together but are not married nor do we have children Recently he has become very aggressive to the point where he has been nearly getting into fights with my family I feel lost and heart brok...
A. 26 October 2014: I would be very upset. I don't even need to know the details of what they were talking about but with a person who's quick to anger, you are bound to have arguments like that within your marriage. He should stop visiting your family for a while and ... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for her. She says we're not compatible. How do I get over this?
Q. Dear Cupid I am a 46 year old man, after being out of the dating scene for a very long time I met this gorgeous 48 year old lady at work. We got talking initially I asked her out and she declined stating that she was in a complicated relation...
A. 26 October 2014: This is the first woman you tried dating after a long time. She still had unfinished business with her ex and your date was ruined. You couldn't have invested a lot. The pain you were feeling wasn't from rejection but rather you could be an ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex happier with his new girl?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last month after a year together. We had a baby before he left as well. Two weeks after our break up he got with a really young girl. Our relationship was not good. He was always at the bar, drunk, doing drugs, ...
A. 25 October 2014: He is still at the impressing her stage. Family members always side with each other. They may even blame you for his bad habits and abusive behavior, thinking you provoked it. If this is how they really are, do you really believe their words that he ... (read in full...)
Did hiring a escort make me look bad?
Q. I'm doing an update since my post "I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?" (I'm 28 now)and have not post anything for few months. Well I hired a escort and done the deed, and I can my experience was not bad as ...
A. 25 October 2014: I think escorts are legal, but prostitution is not. Escorts are more likely decent students and prostitutes could be anyone, they could be forced, trafficked or also be in the drug trade. You pay an escort to spend time with you, but you can also ... (read in full...)
Did hiring a escort make me look bad?
Q. I'm doing an update since my post "I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?" (I'm 28 now)and have not post anything for few months. Well I hired a escort and done the deed, and I can my experience was not bad as ...
A. 25 October 2014: I think the experience should be just to get rid of pesky virginity, loosen up and make you acquainted with a woman's body. It's not meant to make you forget about your need for a serious relationship. When you ask if that makes you look bad, that's ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up trying to have a more spicy sex life? My husband isn't very open!
Q. I am trying to spice up my sex life with my husband. I yearn for a exciting, sensual, heart thumping sex life with my husband. I would be so turned on if my husband would masterbate in front of me while I masterate for him. How do I even begin to ...
A. 25 October 2014: I think he didn't acknowledge them because he knew you were asking for something that doesn't exist in him or it's not necessary for him. He feels that just being himself should be exciting enough for you. He feels inadequate that you always need ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy so why am I not more excited about this relationship?
Q. Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. I live with a great guy, we started house sharing in June. He is the kindest, loveliest man I've ever known. Our feelings for each changed in September and we decided to get together. Its been lovely and ...
A. 25 October 2014: Say you love him, or lean towards him and ask if he still loves you. I am sure you still do. The fairy tales say they lived happily ever after. They didn't say they are excited forever. Nothing will fall apart if you don't get symptoms of heart ... (read in full...)
Things he's told me about his past make me question whether I want to be with him
Q. I am upset because of my boyfriend's past. He is much older than I am. I am 30 and he is 51. We have been together for three years. We have had completely different lives. It makes me wonder why we are together. I already knew that he had been with ...
A. 24 October 2014: The thing that bothers me most is that he barely sees his son. He has a thing for younger women. The age gap between you and him is similar to when he was 33 and the girl was 16. He never looked at his romance partners as equals but rather just ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be suspicious of my boyfriend and his gay colleague?
Q. Hey guys, So my current boyfriend has been I don't know complicated. He tells me he loves me and is straight and I'm the only one for him but there's a guy at work. He's in a more senior position and gay. I have always gotten along with him howe...
A. 24 October 2014: He and his gay colleague are both having an underground relationship while on the outside doing the society approved thing of engaging in a heterosexual relationship. He is mean to you and petty too. They like to gossip and this is a negative ... (read in full...)
Should I de-value myself and have sex with someone who doesn't respect me just because I need sex right now?
Q. A guy and I had agreed to have casual sex before the holidays. We agreed on coffee first to get to know each other, a sleepover to somewhat test compatibility, then sex. A lot of it. He wants to keep it monogamous, and the order of this was his idea ...
A. 24 October 2014: You can be laid back about this thing so it won't be desperate, or you can say thanks but no thanks and withdraw gracefully. He did not call you to cancel beforehand to avoid dealing with your anger. He thought that by not replying you would get the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't acknowledge our relationship publically
Q. Why my bf of almost 10 mths doesn't want to hold my hands in the public (he even walk far from me) nor want our relationship to be disclose even to our church members nor want to put our photo together in whatsapp profile nor in the facebook (but he ...
A. 23 October 2014: He thinks he doesn't deserve you and is afraid that church members would gossip things like he's your sex toy or he uses you like a chauffeur. He has low self esteem and I think the relationship can work if you like to keep your relationships ... (read in full...)
I no longer fancy my wife
Q. Hi all, I am in my 50's been married 25 years got two great kids , grown up, mootgage payed blah blah but just hate my life My wife does a lot, cook, wash, iron that's it, a housemaid She is lazy, layback, won't communicate with me. My life is c...
A. 23 October 2014: Your mortgage is paid so it's fair that both of you relax. Why can't you cut it down to 40 hours? House work is unpaid work, doesn't mean it's lesser. If she did house work and then part time work she had been working just as hard as you. What does ... (read in full...)
If I'm not wanted why did he put in so much effort?
Q. Thank you in advance for your help. This is a bit wordy, but hopefully, the information will paint a more complete picture of what happened. -December 2013: began e-mail contact with a man who had similar interests; we got along very well. -E...
A. 23 October 2014: I don't think he put in much effort. He was just waiting for you to be ready and he's willing to wait because he's not confident himself about finding a new partner. Sneaking around behind your back doesn't mean you are not what he wanted. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
Whenever he said her name or showed me her photo, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Q. Recently, a high school friend of my husband's has contacted him. He has had female friends before and works with lots of women, which I've never had an issue with so I'm certainly not the jealous type, but this woman gives me a funny feeling. ...
A. 22 October 2014: He offered to cut contact with her. All you had to do was tell him you are uncomfortable.
They don't have to do anything or meet up. Just the mere mention of her is going to conjure up images of her sucking him. It's good that your husband know... (read in full...)
I'm just not feeling it for him. He should be perfect for me but I'm not feeling a connection or a spark.
Q. Is it normal to date someone and not be in love with them? And if you are not in love with someone, is likely to change? I've been seeing someone for about a month who should be perfect for me. I did meet him on a dating website--the onl...
A. 22 October 2014: This is very odd. Even when guys rushed things it didn't kill the attraction for me. Sometimes the head and heart want different things. When you slowed things down, does that mean no sex? Sometimes sex can break the ice. Maybe right now he is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is not making an effort to do things for me!
Q. I do a lot for my girlfriend and I don't feel like she is doing much for me. She doesn't really ever surprise me, give gifts, or even just little things. It kinda makes me unsure how much she likes me. Her birthday is in 2 days and I'm not sure how ...
A. 22 October 2014: I understand reciprocating kindness but everyone loves differently. Also we give to people freely without expect anything back. Ideally we should know we are with the right person before blindly pouring love into it. Is she happy with you, does she ... (read in full...)
Can soul mates find each other at such a young age?
Q. Hi there people, I was just wondering is it possible to meet your soul mate in school. I have been with my boyfriend 7 years (since we were 15). We have an amazing relationship i really couldnt complain. We both have good career paths hes a proje...
A. 21 October 2014: If you need someone to give you the optimism, I will give it to you. I was born the last year of generation X and you are from generation Y. I hear a lot of things about how young people don't know how to love anymore but I still believe in it. I am ... (read in full...)
Lost him after 8 1/2 years overnight
Q. 8 1/2 years we were together through all kinds of troubles but after 8 1/2 years he ended it in a cruel way. I think he planned ahead. Came to my house took things he hdId for and ended it by telling me I was selfish stubborn ect.... I was in shock ...
A. 21 October 2014: That Asian girl is working at a place where the girls give happy endings to customers. I believe you only know a man at the end of a relationship. If a man stays until death you know he's a good man. When a man's life's end goal is to have his ego ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with him but there's another woman in his life
Q. dear cupid am dating a man I met and dated two years back we broke up that time and I got married to another man, now my marriage did not workout so am single now and this man I knew before has asked that we be together again, I have fallen inlove ...
A. 21 October 2014: It should be a red flag to you when you heard he had forced her to have his way. This is equal to rape. When a man is forceful no wonder why the woman loses the feeling. When you say if you leave him it will worsen the case that just didn't make ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went away on a trip and I am upset it was not a long, romantic good bye like I expected.
Q. My boyfriend went away with his family for a couple of weeks on a holiday. Before he left, he kissed me on the lips. That was it. We talked for 45 minutes first. He was joking and playful with me. Generally seemed happy to be with me. He kissed me...
A. 21 October 2014: You are the romantic one and you feel that gestures and expressing feelings mean loving that person more. If he wasn't sad about leaving that's because the holiday is what he looked forward to and he probably has a good relationship with his family. ... (read in full...)
Is it shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence?
Q. It's is shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence? I'm having a hard time being in this relationship because my boyfriend's lack of intelligence and common sense. His decision making is poor, and his mental capacity is ...
A. 21 October 2014: No this is completely different from physical attraction like height or hair color, or how much he makes. He is like your fourth child and can be a danger when left alone with kids. You are too burdened by doing everything yourself. When you don't ... (read in full...)
He tries to turn our love making into some sort of sordid porno by imitating what he has watched, which doesn't do anything for me!
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for six months. I'm 26 and he's 29. We see each other every weekend and text and call each other daily. Our relationship in general is wonderful and we have lots in common, however,...
A. 21 October 2014: He has some sexual dysfunction which has nothing to do with you. It's either his health (physical or mental) or his brain got so desensitized that he needs a new and different stimuli each time. I don't want to be with someone like that either. ... (read in full...)
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