A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I know my problem will sound childish to you and I know this "problem" doesn´t have the right to be called a problem..but still it hurts me. Also I´m no teenager, I´m 25 years old.It hurts me, that I´m being ignored on Facebook. When I put some pic I get 10 likes most..And when I look at everyone´s elses profiles, they got instantly like 40 and more likes, some even hundreds..I don´t know what I´m doing wrong.I have many friends, I´m going out with many people almost every day, we have fun, they call me to go out with them..And still they don´t like my stuff on Facebook, but they give likes to other people. I don´t know why. I´m not ugly either (actually, I don´t want to sound arrogant, but a lot of people tells me I´m beautiful) It´s summer and many people go on vacation to many destinations and they gets soo many likes. I was to a really exotic place this summer and when I put the photos from there I got 10 likes! When other people go to visit just some ordinary town in our country, they got so much more..And also, the ex of my boyfriend is really popular, she gets hundreds of likes on the pics of her, I´m afraid my boyfriend notices that, that I´m not popular and his ex is..And I know she´s checking my profile and laughs how unpopular I am..What should I do to get more likes? I know you will judge me, but I have very low self-esteem because of this and I feel bad. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2014): seriously get a life not ment in a nasty way facebook causes so much issues for a lot of people so what if she gets more likes she obs knows people who don't have a life my sons birthday was the other day n out of all my friends on facebook only 6 acknowledged do I care no I don't because he means everything to me not how many people acknowledged if it affects u so much then come off facebook , a lot of people have 'friends' but really theyre just name off a computer they wouldn't give up a day for u bet if she walked down the street and 20 of her 'friends' were on the other side they wouldn't even know it was her its quality not quantity I wouldn't worry n if your boyfriend says shes got more likes than u then id be saying at least I know my friends and its quality not quantity n u don't need facebook to give u self esteem ur better than that u don't need other people to 'like' things to give u a good boost u can do that urself by remembering u don't need facebook to dictate u
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 August 2014):
 His ex is jealous that he's with you now and she succeeded in making you feel low. Don't let her. Your boyfriend chose you. So it shows that being popular on a computer screen has little bearing on how much a guy would love you. Why do you have to pull yourself down to his exes' level to compete with her? What is ex is doing I would call a "post break up make over." People like her would do whatever to get over a break up and boost self esteem by trying to look nice to the whole world, showing the world that she is still lovable. Her friends could also being "liking" her pics in order to show her moral support, since she just went through a break up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): I'm 25, same as you. I was feeling the same way you are, as ashamed as I am to admit it. I felt like I had to post either a status or picture at least weekly so I could "keep up" with other people who posted DAILY and got hundreds of likes, and usually at least 10 comments as well. When I posted a picture, sometimes I would literally get no likes at all, and started to think I must be ugly. I know that I'm not photogenic, but I was very selective to only choose the best pictures of myself to post on Facebook. So for you to feel this bad about getting 10 likes per picture seems a bit overkill to me. Try posting and getting NOTHING. My advise? Delete your account. I did and I've felt better ever since. Just be glad you have great friends in real life, that you're beautiful and smart, and have a boyfriend. Don't worry about what his ex thinks, either. I doubt she actually laughs at you over getting more "likes" than you, and if she does, that's downright pathetic, and you should be the one laughing at her. You should also feel sorry for her that her life is so bland she gets her kicks over something so small.
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A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (1 August 2014):
 Facebook causes these issues, it's very common. People compare their profile, lives, pictures, relationships, etc to what other 'friends' are doing. I've read it causes depression in some people, that their own lives aren't as interesting as other people's. I do think the best thing to do would be to delete the thing but I believe you are addicted and feel you must have one since everyone else does so I doubt you would get rid of it.
My only other suggestion would be to add as many people as possible. The more 'friends' you have, the more chances for likes. People getting 40 likes on one photo must have hundreds of 'friends'. Maybe your Facebook friends aren't as Facebook obsessed as your boyfriend's ex's are. You have some people who sit on there all day posting things every hour, those are people who will like everything they see. Maybe she has more of those types of friends.
To be honest, your real friends and people you see daily in every day life aren't the ones liking everything you post typically. It's the acquaintances, people you used be friends with now you rarely see, and people you hardly know. Facebook popularity hardly translates into real life. I've seen people with 800 friends and yet nothing to do on a Saturday night but post a picture of a grilled cheese they made. They have 800 friends and post constantly because they have no life outside of Facebook, and getting those likes are the highlights of their day.
So please stop putting so much stock into Facebook popularity. It is extremely silly and very sad. If you have real friends you hang out with on a regular basis and are beautiful and in a good relationship, you have more than tons of people who get a lot of likes on statuses. Dont take it so personally, it's not a reflection on you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 August 2014):
 What should you do ?...
Come off Facebook altogether- if it has to be such an ordeal ! - and, maybe, like... get a life ?...
Sorry, that was mean and I realize it. It was a cheap shot, knowing that you admit it is a problem only subjectively, and it's linked to a problem of self esteem. So, Ok, my apologies. But, Aunts are only human, and there's only so much as an Aunt, I can stomach, tbh. Teen girl that says life is not worth living because 16 y.i. bf ditched her ?... Ok, I get that : it's no big deal but she does not know yet.Unhappy woman who does not leave bastard cheating addicted bf- because she is afrad nobody else will ever want her ? I get that too, it's obvously false but I see how she could FEEL that way.
But, a 25 y,o. beautiful, popular, educated, with a fun life and with money to burn on fancy vacations ... and you SUFFER because you don't get oodles of " likes " ?!- With all what's going on , all the reason to suffer for real , in the world at large, in your continent/ country/ town / neighborhood, around you , right under your nose.....and you suffer because of Facebook ? You are tempting the fates, OP, don't do that. And if you really, really mean what you have written, I don't know, maybe it's time to seek a serious professional iintervention, and a good therapist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): Come off of Facebook for a month, then consider how important it is if it's only making you self-conscious. It's not social medias fault; you're using it for a confidence boost and that's not going to happen unless you show lots of skin or are photoshop pretty.
I only get one or two likes every FEW posts. Please get over this.
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