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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Is it normal for his friends to insult a guy who puts his Bf first?
Q. Is it normal behaviour for a man to insult their friends for putting their girlfriends first? My best friend goes out with my boyfriend's best friend, and the other day the two guys started talking about going to Amsterdam for a lads weekend. ...
A. 2 February 2014: It sounds like your boyfriend feels whipped just being in a relationship. To me that's not normal, but normal for people who had not grown up. He cares more about what his friends say and do, than a significant other, or supposedly to be significant ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid, in that this really upset me and made me question my Bf's character?
Q. Hello aunts. I'd like some opinions on a disagreement I had with my boyfriend the other day. He lives next door to an elderly man and they both hate each other. This has been going on for years, and if I'm perfectly honest they are both as ...
A. 2 February 2014: It was just a fantasy of him for the old man to get stuck there. Him falling or getting a heart attack is just an icing on the cake. You are not stupid for being upset. Maybe in your relationship you don't feel like he has empathy and things like ... (read in full...)
Stepmother issue: I want to reconnect with my Dad, just my Dad and I. Am I being unreasonable? Honest opinions please
Q. I spoke to my dad the other day on the phone for the first time in a while. I've never lived with him and he has recently married his long-term girlfriend, who I have never got on with. When I was younger and obligated to stay with him occasion...
A. 2 February 2014: No you are not being unreasonable. Had she been nicer to you, you would probably be living with them and looking up to her as a mother figure. She was abusive and intensively possessive of her husband. Your dad is a wimp and would rather lose the ... (read in full...)
He pulled away after sex? Why?
Q. I got chatting to this guy online but during that I was also dating another man, so the other man was still the focus of my attention, I ended up ignoring the online guy and he left me alone. Weeks later I regretted ignoring him and thought abou...
A. 1 February 2014: What he's looking for is someone to fill in the emptiness. If you went from just chatting online to going to his house after his insisting, it means his intention is not dating. He just wants some sex and a girl willing to do the travel. Maybe he ... (read in full...)
How can I regain my self confidence and believe in love again?
Q. Hi guys, I have just started a new relationship with an amazing guy, but I am afraid we are not going anywhere. I keep on thinking that I don't deserve being in love, and I tend to get too cynical. I wonder, "if my past relationship failed - ev...
A. 1 February 2014: You have residue in your past relationship and haven't processed every feeling. It would be wishful thinking that if you are in love and you put in effort, then the relationship would be successful but reality is different. There are compatibility ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be with me forever, but doesn't want to marry me? Do I leave?
Q. Hi, I'm in desperate need of advice. Anything is greatly appreciated! Here's what happened... I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 27. We've been together for almost 3 years. We both still live at home with our parents. He is my first boyfriend and I lost my ...
A. 1 February 2014: You are wondering if he is against the institution, or if he has a specific person in mind that he would marry. I also agree that if a man is in love so much the government won't come between that love. A person marries with the idea that it's ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my coach pay attention to me when I'm working out?
Q. If this doesn't make a lot of sense, I'm sorry I'm on my phone in my lunch break. Okay, i do judo and basically, me and a coach have been really good friends and have know each other for a while now. We flirt quite a lot and we get along well. Ho...
A. 1 February 2014: It's not illegal but it's not a good idea. He's being distant to let you know that he is not interested. He is an instructor and he is supposed to treat every student equally and give them equal time and attention. To pay attention to you for a long ... (read in full...)
What takes away attraction and charm suddenly when you actually want to take things forward!
Q. Hello cupid I have read a lot here where people mention they really hit it off until suddenly the girl or the guy becomes distant after two three months. Okay my question is that I understand when there is mystery,we are attracted to the unknown...
A. 28 January 2014: People often fall in love with the idea of dating. As you know the person more you notice flaws and even deal breakers. These are the things that take away attraction. With sex involved your judgment is easily clouded by sexual chemistry. You also ... (read in full...)
Should I keep on pursuing her and what can I do to make things in forward direction ?
Q. Hello cupid I have been pursuing a girl for three months and I seem to like her. I have started to see a pattern where I have to always initiate the conversation and when I do, we seem to talk for quite a long time (in person or text)! If I don't,...
A. 27 January 2014: She is warning you because she doesn't know when she will be ready again. It's also telling you don't wait for her if there's another girl you like. It's hard to say to her, "When you are ready let me know" because it sounds impatient.
Hang out with... (read in full...)
Is this typical fwb behaviour?
Q. Me and this guy have been seeing each other casually for a few months: however it's been on and off from the beginning. From the start he said he doesn't do relationships, doesn't like the drama and likes 'simple'. Every time I go to his house I c...
A. 26 January 2014: I've had my share of FWBs, and every single one acts different. Some are needy, persistent. Some fell in love (or pretended to fall in love) because women love that. Some are strictly mechanical and have clear boundaries. And a few tell lies.
O... (read in full...)
Should I trust this online dating guy
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I've recently joined an online dating site and hit it off with a nice guy who I had a lot in common with.After communicating daily for a few weeks, we were going to meet up after Christmas but I've had to go away for 6 weeks ...
A. 26 January 2014: You don't know if you hit it off nicely until there are steady dates and one of you initiated the talk about being exclusive. You could even mention that you prefer someone who dates one person at a time. After the official thing has been ... (read in full...)
Should I keep on pursuing her and what can I do to make things in forward direction ?
Q. Hello cupid I have been pursuing a girl for three months and I seem to like her. I have started to see a pattern where I have to always initiate the conversation and when I do, we seem to talk for quite a long time (in person or text)! If I don't,...
A. 26 January 2014: When you got to see her in person is it like a date or just to hang out as a friend? You talk to her regularly so you should be able to get some clue as to whether she likes you or not. It does not take 3 months to like a person. She is not your ... (read in full...)
Something in his story just didn't ring true ...
Q. I recently met and fell in love with a great man. If were not together we are talking. He makes sure I know he loves me. We plan on moving in together. I have a son and his Dad is not in his life he has stepped up to the plate and I respect him ...
A. 25 January 2014: I don't doubt his story. He could be losing another important member in his family. Even if he's cheating or hiding something there are better stories to tell than a family member being critically injured. He's probably thinking how life is so ... (read in full...)
Fallen for my best friend, now he is being stubborn and inflexible
Q. I have known my best male friend for about 6 years. During this time he's been my rock through ups and downs including tumultuous relationships. I live in a different country from where I grew up (where he lives) a lot. I have often sensed that he ...
A. 25 January 2014: People who travel a lot for work are making a sacrifice to their love lives. What you call stubborn and inflexible is actually being practical and sensible. He is a person who does not deal with long distance. I don't know what his plans are for the ... (read in full...)
After a bad relationship I'm not sure I want to get involved again
Q. I met this guy that I'm developing a huge crush on. He is intelligent and mature and creative, and we have the same passion for performing music and we are going for the same careers. We talk for hours and he says he also has a crush on me, and he ...
A. 25 January 2014: On the first date you should present your best self. Let no one tell you this is being fake. You form an impression on him and this is how he would see you in the years to come. The first few dates should be fun and relaxing. If you can't keep ... (read in full...)
Coworker crush.
Q. Ok so here's the situation. I have this coworker who is 31 and I'm 21. When I first started working there, I always noticed him, but not to the point where I really found him attractive. I heard that he had some of the same interests as I d...
A. 25 January 2014: I don't think any 31 year old needs an explanation why an engaged woman decides to be distant. What if he tells you there is no need to be distant and it's safe, then you maintain contact and it gets harder to get over him?
You and your boyf... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 23 January 2014: You are still married so a boyfriend is out of the question. Your husband had thought this wouldn't work out because it would require him to change himself to be someone he wouldn't recognize. He thought that a man's job is to provide and that's it. ... (read in full...)
Is he getting addicted to porn? How much porn is too much porn?
Q. My boyfriend watches porn everyday while I'm at work. Didn't mind at first but I'm starting to worry that it might affect him eventually. He is off work from 1pm to 6pm everyday. I know sometimes it's boredom and sometimes it's stress relief. He ...
A. 22 January 2014: He is addicted to porn and also addicted to his gym routine or lifestyle.
"Thinking of girls is cheating" is an excuse. Porn is quick, gets to the brain directly and does not require much imagination. It's too much porn when a guy leaves no room... (read in full...)
I can't get over my ex-girlfriend, her mom and some family members still keep in touch with me, what do I do?
Q. My ex and i are both in the military, we met while serving at the same base and started to date. While we dated we moved in together and had ups and downs like any other relationship but we both knew we loved each other. Ive met her family and she ...
A. 22 January 2014: Listen to Mariana's Trench Fallout and then move on. At first I thought that maybe you as a guy you did something like withdraw, pull back and leave her hanging but the more I read on I lean more towards her being an insecure attention whore. I ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm just a dog following my girlfriend around!
Q. Hey Guys.! Im feeling very lost at the moment and no one to turn to or ask for advice. Anyway I have been dating this girl for about 4 months and everything has been going so good between us from A to Z. its almost like a dream and believe me Im no...
A. 21 January 2014: You are suggesting that she doesn't want to see you at all, and therefore she's in a hurry to go to Thailand right after work. She has a passive way of saying she wishes that things don't work out so she does not have to directly tell you that the ... (read in full...)
We've been together so long at this point I don't want to give up, but I am worried the love won't come back.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We hit a rough patch when I lost my job, it lasted about 6 months. He was borderline emotionally abusive about my lack of job. He would panic and verbally attack me to deal with it. There was no reason to ...
A. 16 January 2014: I think you emotionally hardened yourself so you won't get hurt later if he's lashing out at you again in the future. The magic is gone because he's not the man who takes care of your feelings. There is a lot of stress about being able to keep up ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my girlfriend and hope things get better, or leave her for a girl who may leave me for a girl when she decides I'm just a phase?
Q. im currently in a relationship with a girl and ive been with her for five years, i loved her in the beginning and i still care for her but im finding it hard to say to myself that i still love her and for the last year ive felt less intrested in ...
A. 16 January 2014: You should leave your girlfriend, not for the lesbian but to leave room for someone who is more suitable for you. At work, flirting is common. The fact that you were still attached means that coworkers could flirt with you safely with the knowledge ... (read in full...)
My mother does not approve of my girlfriend!
Q. I am 25 year old male and I have a girlfriend who is 23 and has a 2 years old boy. My mother has huge hate against her and I need you guys to help me solve the problem... I went to Japan for 3 months and I met a girl(Half Filipina, Quarte...
A. 16 January 2014: If I have to guess why your mother hates her, it would be because she sacrificed her love life to be able to take care of you and your sister. Now that she sees a young single mother trying to date you your mother reflected on her past and feels ... (read in full...)
I need to become more assertive without losing my job or alienating people
Q. This is going to seem like a great big grumble..I suppose it is but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically, I'm fed up with everything. I'm fed up with my job. I'm a healthcare worker and deal with different people with different health ...
A. 13 January 2014: You are not going to get sacked. You think they will get rid of you when they don't have enough people to cover shifts? You let people treat you like a push over. All you have to say is, "No I am over hours already." No need for a long drawn out ... (read in full...)
Should I stay here or return to the Dominican Republic?
Q. I have been living by myself for a little while now, and it has been very hard for me. I've always been used to coming home to someone and now that I don't makes me feel depressed. It's like a black cloud that hovers above me. I haven't made ...
A. 13 January 2014: I think the relationship is not making you happy. You want more than what he can give you. So going back home is not going to change that. You can make a visit to the Dominican Republic the next holiday. Maybe all you need is a change of environment ... (read in full...)
His comment about the other girl really has me doubting myself
Q. Why do I feel this way? I'm I overreacting? So my boyfriend is on holiday and he's staying with his friend and he has a female roomate. We were talking and I asked how the girl is. He said they get on really well. They went shopping toget...
A. 13 January 2014: If they went grocery shopping like milk and pizza to share among his roommates then I wouldn't be pissed. When you asked if he fancied her, this is a shit test. You shouldn't ask anything you don't want the answer to. He didn't like those kinds of ... (read in full...)
S this friendship worth trying to save or is it time to move on because of the control her husband has?
Q. I have this very best friend. She use to live 1300 miles away and now we live in the same city. She and her husband work together and are together 24/7, they also live on site where they work and I work there too. Now that she lives in the same city ...
A. 12 January 2014: I would step back and let her deal with him. It's her choice to be controlled by her husband. She has to learn that when she caters to him all the time then no friend is going to tolerate it. I won't enjoy the friendship very much if I know that I ... (read in full...)
Why does dating him feel so complicated?
Q. I don't know where I stand with a guy I'm seeing, he calls himself my boyfriend but everything that happens just tells me otherwise. We both have just come out of long term relationships about 6 months ago we have worked together for the past 5 m...
A. 12 January 2014: This is just generalizing, and I think that women go into relationships to establish something, to move forward so it leads into marriage and family. It goes linear. For men, it seems that for them they go into relationships to explore why they ... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 12 January 2014: I agree with both posters but I would enjoy it while it lasts. He's not going to be that way years down the road. I know it can feel annoying at times but I guess my response to him would be "I am flattered by all this attention but sometimes I get ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is still friends with his ex friend-with-benefits. Am I selfish or obsessive in my response to this situation?
Q. I'm not sure if I am acting selfish and obsessive or if I'm acting as most girls would in regards to my current relationship. I have been dating my boyfriend since last summer. I had a boyfriend for 2 years before my current boyfriend, and we had b...
A. 12 January 2014: No you are not being obsessive, she is. She wanted more than friends with benefits, or she doesn't understand why he picked you as girlfriend and not her. Your boyfriend feels guilty about cutting off friendship so can't say no to her. She wanted to ... (read in full...)
He is 39 and has never told anyone that he loved them. Including me!
Q. I am seeing a guy for over a year now and we get on really well, we're attracted to one another, and all is good. But a few months ago, I told him I loved him, and he replied that he thought the love word was overused, and despite being 39, he has ...
A. 10 January 2014: You can't squeeze blood from a stone. That's a good line I got from another agony uncle. I think a weekend girlfriend is all he can handle. I appreciate him being honest but I don't think he's going to want more than that. Having a companion is nice ... (read in full...)
How can he determine that there is "no chemistry" after just two dates? Is that possible?
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he came up to me and introduced himself. We talked on facebook for a day and he asked me for my number, he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for three hours. He texted me everyday first and every night ...
A. 8 January 2014: Yes, it's possible to determine there is no chemistry within minutes but this guy has been acting strange. He was behaving like a boyfriend, then pulling away. He said there is no chemistry but liked your scent. If he's so unstable and keeps on ... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: I would say so. He did not promise to stop hitting his sister. That alone would be a deal breaker for me. He also has tendencies for cheating. You need to feel more than just fear he would hit you. You should feel angry that he doesn't see the wrong ... (read in full...)
Do I ignore married co-worker? I know I shouldn't act on my feelings!
Q. Hi. Well..I am in a strange situation and I'm not sure how to deal with it..I am in a long therm relationship but started to develop feelings for a married colleague and he has feelings for me for more than an year...we never talked about it ...
A. 6 January 2014: You shouldn't have accepted the gift. It is an invitation for more to come. He gave you the gift in order to recapture the magic moment of going back to when he was still single and pursuing a love interest. He couldn't do that to his wife because ... (read in full...)
After breaking up, am I obligated to speak to him again?
Q. I told this guy I was seeing that I'm fed up with what we have going . He can be quite rude and last night I said we cant be together nor can we be friends as he obviously can't hack it. Neither can I, the bitterness is real on his end yet he says ...
A. 6 January 2014: I wonder why it's so hard to just say "no I won't be talking to you again. Have a nice life." When you say you need time away from him it implies you would get back to him in the future, like needing a vacation before going to work again. As women ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that my ex said he will always love me but doesn't want me back?
Q. My ex and I started contact few days ago because I found out he has a new girlfriend after we broke up. I told him I was sad and never wanted to know who the girl is and anything about them. He came back to me 3 months after dumping me, but I didn't ...
A. 5 January 2014: He can only love someone he can't have. So the only way to make sure if continues to "love" you is to not get back together. I think he told you what you want to hear because he wants to test out how much you are willing to become his sexual partner ... (read in full...)
My husband left me for my best friend. How is this all going to work out for us?
Q. OK, so here's my situation... it's a bit long, but still. My husband left me for my best friend the day after Boxing Day, and I found out because there was a photo of her in a bikini and him topless cuddling up to her in the snow in her garden saved ...
A. 5 January 2014: If your husband spent a few days at your best friend then it means her husband is somewhere else. Your husband may not want to divorce you then marry her. Maybe it's just an affair however not so secret since he didn't care to delete the photo. It's ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become lazy and unappreciative.
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. For the longest time, up until several months ago he was very much "into" me, and I mean by giving me a ton of his time/attention. He text me nonstop and was always sharing details about ...
A. 4 January 2014: I think you have to pretend you are dating him as if he's a different man who does not like texting. What he's doing now is normal compared to the average guy. He is only lazy and unappreciative compared to how he was at the beginning. You were used ... (read in full...)
Does he want me for a girlfriend or just to hangout?
Q. I'm 19 and the guy I like/work with is 25. I found out he liked me from someone else a month ago and ever since then we've been working the same hours and seeing ALOT of each other at work but just having short conversations since we're busy ...
A. 4 January 2014: He doesn't want to appear too eager so he's just joking and flirting with you. You've only been on a date one time so maybe later you can plan something during the day time. Some people are not texters. I would much rather prefer doing activities ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is amazing...but I am scared we will burn out!
Q. I started seeing someone I worked with back in August. We only had around 5 or 6 dates between August and November so things were moving quite slow but as we worked together we already knew each other and were quite good friends. He left work in ...
A. 4 January 2014: The irony is that these connections are always amazing because one of you knows that it does not last so you had to make the best out of your time. Whether it's because he doesn't believe in marriage or it's just the nature and reality of all ... (read in full...)
I wanted to give this guy my number but didnt...then I found him online!
Q. Is it fate? I need advice on what to do next and how? Here is the story: I've been sort of seeing this guy, let call him " Jim" but nothing serious. We spent new year's eve together, and we accidentally ran into each other at a bar on new year's d...
A. 4 January 2014: I don't think it's fate. It just meant he didn't get lucky that night and is trying another venue. Jim had another girl, so it would be tacky to act territorial over there. If I were you I would just message the pirate, and say I am interested in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become lazy and unappreciative.
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. For the longest time, up until several months ago he was very much "into" me, and I mean by giving me a ton of his time/attention. He text me nonstop and was always sharing details about ...
A. 4 January 2014: For roughly three years he has been attentive so I can't go with the theory that he has won you over so stopped. I would try to find out what changed. Perhaps he's interested in someone else, or you wanted marriage and he doesn't. You had known him ... (read in full...)
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