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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 9 July 2014: In your original post we are under the impression that this guy had never tried polyamory and gave it a go with you. In your update he has only been polyamorous. So there is some confusion here. I think polyamory only works for him as long as the ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: I wouldn't say you screwed up because you told him up front and he tried it. He has to know that polyamory is a phase you go through and it is not in your personality your whole life. Intent in a relationship is important because it's a foundation ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says for our relationship to survive I need to start surprising him sexually
Q. Quick and short... My boyfriend says that for our relationship to survive I need to start "surprising" him sexually. One of his versions of being surprised is a spontaneous blowjob in the car. That's pretty much all the hints he has given me! An...
A. 6 July 2014: That's emotional blackmail. I have a feeling that it's more about getting what he wants than the well being of the relationship, for whatever problems you have be having. Spontaneity is good, there is a time and place for that, but not when he is ... (read in full...)
Do some people go to extremes to break up with someone?
Q. My boyfriend has decided to end our relationship and we have agreed to be friends he told me he's not been well and had been to the hospital he won't tell me what's going on just its best for me to find someone else he said it was not good news and ...
A. 6 July 2014: I can understand breaking up using a mysterious illness, but to hide from his child? That's non excusable. I see that your child is very young and will not understand, but has he considered when his child gets older and asks about dad? If it is life ... (read in full...)
I can walk around naked and he doesn't bat an eyelid!
Q. Hi I'm new to this it's my first ever time asking anyone for help really, I feel you you as I am in a situation like it :-( I have been with my husband for 15 years he was my first boyfriend we have kids together and everything was ok really u...
A. 6 July 2014: I think he's regretting not having more experience with other women before getting married. He's been saying to himself, "that's it? Just chores and the same woman over and over?" He doesn't get to experience heartbreak, or get it out of the system ... (read in full...)
I'm in turmoil. I love my husband, so do I stay with him or move in with my lover?
Q. I've been having an affair with a co-worker for the past 6 months behind my husband's back. I'll admit, our marriage has become a bit stale in the bedroom department, all my husband talks about is bills, paying the next bill, financial st...
A. 4 July 2014: I think it is more than just being stale. I don't know his age but he might be having erection problems. Upping his game may involve taking extenze or bazooka pills. I think he knew you were hiding something and wasn't surprised about the affair. He ... (read in full...)
I really need some help as I cannot live without my girlfriend and our little family.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend 2 and a half years now. We have 2 children aged 4 and 6 months (one is ours, one is my partners from a previous relationship). Recently she has seemed really off with me for no apparent reason, blaming a lack o...
A. 4 July 2014: Did I read this right? There was lack of sex because of problems, and you had circumcision because of that. Still the problem is not fixed and I am guessing lack of chemistry. I don't know about her other relationship but she is having a kid with ... (read in full...)
I wouldn't let him go farther and now I don't hear from him.
Q. I'm 18 years old nd m in a relation since last 4 months. We both kiss each other and he touches my breasts nd kisses them. I have allowed him to do so and I dont have any problem with this. But he tried to touch my lower private parts 3-4 times and ...
A. 4 July 2014: I don't think either of you rushed things. Quite the opposite I think he's sexually frustrated. Here 3rd date sex is common. People would wait 3 months maximum. It doesn't mean disrespect when you give in. It is a mutual and enjoyable thing. Your ... (read in full...)
He came back from a holiday and ended the relationship
Q. I really need some advice. I'm having a hard time getting over my ex. We were seeing each other for about a month before we became official, when we were just seeing eachother he said he didn't want me seeing anyone else. He was pretty paranoid...
A. 2 July 2014: He is not good enough for you if he can't be honest about why he can't be with you. I also think he cheated but didn't want to deal with the guilt or have you confront him and blow up. It could be a drunken mistake, or peer pressure because everyone ... (read in full...)
Went through my LDR's phone and found evidence that suggests she cheated
Q. Hello dear Cupid and agony aunts. It's been awhile since I asked for help Here's the thing, I've been dating this girl for about 3 months, and we have known each other for 5 years. I love her, and have a connection to her I've never felt befor...
A. 2 July 2014: I don't think I can develop a connection with a person I am only going to see once every few months. So even if you both have declared exclusivity to each other it's hard to take it seriously when you have so much time apart. I would just come clean ... (read in full...)
I just want my friend back
Q. Hello guys, Can you help me out? I have a good friend, who I have known for about 5 years now. we fooled around a little, and tried being bf/gf but it didnt work out and we stopped talking for a while. I got a bf and we started speak...
A. 2 July 2014: I know you don't have feelings for him, but he does have feelings for you. I think your friendship with him is too close for comfort for your relationship with your boyfriend. He ended it because it hurts to be your friend. You don't see this as a ... (read in full...)
Why does a mature woman resort to immature behavior during an argument?
Q. What kind of personality profile does this? The woman in question is in her late forties, and whenever there's a heated argument or disagreement going on, she resorts to "no contact" and shutting me off completely! She jumps to conclusions and ...
A. 2 July 2014: I have no idea what you are arguing about, other than the fact that you were caught lying about something. If I have to take a guess, a personality profile who does this is an overachiever who does too much but leaves no space for herself and her ... (read in full...)
My wife flirts with guys. Which type of flirting is more of a threat to our relationship? A stranger or an ex?
Q. I know this is a weird topic, but bear with me here. Over the years I have caught my wife flirting with strangers. I would not say it happens often, but maybe once every couple of years. I don't think anything has come of these momentary obses...
A. 1 July 2014: I would say in general an ex lover is more of a threat but it depends on the person. Some people do not respect marriage and will do more than just flirting. The ex lover probably knows you are married but strangers don't unless she wears a ring ... (read in full...)
My Bf's family bully me and my Bf never stands up for me. How can I cope with this?
Q. I am hoping that you may be able to help me find the way on this problem... I don't especially like my boyfriend's family. It is very strange as he is entirely different to them. To describe them will sound critical I am afraid but they are loud, se...
A. 1 July 2014: What you think as bullying could be normal conversation to them. Maybe if you get to know each one of them separately you would see different personalities but when they are together they act the same way to fit in. You certainly don't want to fit ... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to say I love him. I'm not ready. Should I call it a day with him?
Q. Basically I don't know what to do. I've been going out with a guy for a week and he's already saying how much he loves me, he knows I'm no where near ready to say it back but I feel like he's pressuring me to say it. I've tried talking to him about ...
A. 1 July 2014: I've said I love you before the guy does, after him, about the same time. I've also told a guy it's just been x number of dates. For me if I can't say it it means I just don't feel it and never will, and I am known to be an impulsive person too. In ... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake in getting with him again?
Q. I feel I made a mistake in getting back together Hi guys, It's early morning and I really need a place to vent. I've recently got back together with my ex. It's been a week since we've been together. I broke up with him last time ...
A. 29 June 2014: Wanting to maintain contact every day isn't asking much. When it gets to the stage where people give keys to the other, there should at least be a talk about long term, otherwise it's a waste of time. He isn't missing the commitment, he's missing ... (read in full...)
LDR issues. Do I confront her over her Ex issues ? Do I insist on seeing her to work things out?
Q. LDR issues.Do I confront the issues? Do I insist on seeing her next weekend? To try to work things out with her? For years I ignored the feeling in the back of my mind that I may be gay. However about 3 months ago a friend signed me up to a gay dati...
A. 29 June 2014: If this is your first relationship, you may be surprised to find out that you can have feelings for two people, and that sticking with one person is just a decision, and commitment to make. When people are not over their exes and still looking at ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel anything when bad events occur? is it a mental issue, or am I just scarred?
Q. Hello everybody! Just before I start this too much, I'd like to say that I don't really appreciate mean replies and answers, but if you feel like you absolutely HAVE to tell me, then go ahead. So, I can't seem to understand why, but my emotions ...
A. 29 June 2014: It's good you can feel happy. You said your emotions disappeared. Like anger too? You broke up with your girlfriend. Anger and frustration are the biggest motivators that cause a break up. Not everything has an answer. I don't look at you as having ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel anything when bad events occur? is it a mental issue, or am I just scarred?
Q. Hello everybody! Just before I start this too much, I'd like to say that I don't really appreciate mean replies and answers, but if you feel like you absolutely HAVE to tell me, then go ahead. So, I can't seem to understand why, but my emotions ...
A. 29 June 2014: What does quite the abused history mean?
You dissociated as a way of avoiding pain. Good thing is life feels more peaceful. Bad thing is that you may be blocking everything, including intimacy. It's like you are feeling numb as a protection. No one ... (read in full...)
How do I fake it and carry on for our baby, when I'm bored and feel we're incompatible?
Q. Looking for advice on how to try and make my relationship work even though I am so bored! Met 4 years ago, at the time I was happily single, living alone and enjoying my own space. We used to meet 3-4 tines per week and were very happy together...
A. 29 June 2014: Before talking about other men just say you miss those times when you anticipated dates together and you are disappointed that he now turns into a couch potato. Your needs are not being met. If he is as nice as you say he is he should be concerned ... (read in full...)
How do I fake it and carry on for our baby, when I'm bored and feel we're incompatible?
Q. Looking for advice on how to try and make my relationship work even though I am so bored! Met 4 years ago, at the time I was happily single, living alone and enjoying my own space. We used to meet 3-4 tines per week and were very happy together...
A. 29 June 2014: I do not feel he rushed the relationship. The time sequence sounds just about right.
A lot of questions you ask here all end with, nothing, you just do. Because whenever you ask how you do this or that, it implies you can't. What if you tell your... (read in full...)
If he wants nothing to do with me why won't he just decline and block me on social media? Is he playing games leaving me hanging?
Q. My question is about a guy who appears to be "leading me on". About 9 months ago we had a terrible falling out. We were supposed to be just friends but I found out he was in love with me. He was very distraught that I discovered how he truly felt ...
A. 29 June 2014: All that drama for what? A guy can have feelings for whoever, but if he doesn't act on it then it's no use trying to figure him out. He has issues and prefers to let you do the chasing. That's being cowardly, but he doesn't want others to know that ... (read in full...)
Need opinions on situation with boyfriend and other women
Q. Boyfriend (now ex) is mad at me for reading a facebook message a girl sent me outlining her relationship with him. This girl has been stalking me online for over a year. My boyfriend is incredibly funny, family oriented, loves his mom, nice at...
A. 29 June 2014: I assumed you were the one who broke up with him. My opinion is that the other woman felt played, and was trying to warn you about his womanizing ways. I don't think she wants him all by herself, this is what your ex wants you to believe. She is ... (read in full...)
Just discovered my boyfriend lied about having a child
Q. I APOLOGIZE THIS IS LONG BUT I'M BEGGING FOR INPUT ON THE SITUATION My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is an ex army militant. In our early days I noticed he had a tattoo with a female name followed by a date which whe...
A. 28 June 2014: Were all of you in the same place together? You, your boyfriend, and his sister in law? Or did she overhear your conversation? Did you talk about the tattoo with her some other time? 8 months is not too soon for contemplating long term. You did meet ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with breaking up with someone this mentally unwell?
Q. I need some reassurance and general advice. I've been with my fiancée for nearly four years and then last weekend we broke up. It was the next step in what has been a month of hell. Through out our relationship, she has battled with depression. ...
A. 28 June 2014: There's a possibility that she did not intend to cause you harm, unless she is psychopathic or narcissistic and gets something out of seeing you hurt. She could be paranoid and thinks that the world is out to get them, sadly including loved ones. ... (read in full...)
He's lost his job and now I feel like we're over. He's cold and distant. Is this relationship over?
Q. He's lost his job and now I feel like we're over? My bf was the sweetest, caring and very attentive when he had a job. But he's lost his job 6 months now and he's just so distant and cold. He hardly calls or texts me. We argue every time w...
A. 28 June 2014: He needs some space but ask him what he would like you to do and when he thinks he can be happy again. He wants the reassurance that you would not be tempted by a guy with more money, and that you will wait for him. Also set a time limit, on how ... (read in full...)
Am I in a hopeless position re my Bf and confused? I very lonely here, my family lives overseas
Q. Being with this Muslim guy for about 4 months. Is the second time he break up with me saying that he's a bad guy and I am too "drama" for him.. But he changes his mind 10 min after and is like everything is fine.. Then he says he wants to be only...
A. 28 June 2014: He can't fully commit to you. Whether it's his own emotional issues or money problems. The drama is about you having expectations and him not being able to deliver them. So blaming you on this deflects the real issue. He wants to be friends with ... (read in full...)
If we break up will he give up on our daughter too? I am tired of his abuse and his behaviour
Q. I know he treats me bad but sometimes some people re abusive because they love you too much, this is my baby daddy and he is emotionally abusing me. He left me pregnant and came back when baby was 3 months blaming me for making him leave. We ...
A. 28 June 2014: If he doesn't want to be a father then it's his loss. Separated parents can still act civil. You shouldn't have to lower your dignity, suffer abuse. He is using your daughter in order to get what he wants, sex or money. A man who can do this to a ... (read in full...)
My current guy is great, but I don't feel the sparks like I did with my ex
Q. I am in a relationship with someone who is great and loving to me. We have been together for a year and a half now. Long before meeting him, I met someone when at college. I was smitten with him (he was just a year older), and I had strong feelings. ...
A. 27 June 2014: A thing to add, is that your current guy probably doesn't have the "it" factor for you. If you are not attracted to him, then with or without exes in your mind you will feel like something is missing and sooner or later another guy would tempt you ... (read in full...)
His lack of ambition and drive bug me, but only when I'm hormonal
Q. This probably will sound crazy but I need advice. My boyfriend and I have been together close to 5 years now. We are very similar in many ways. However, he is very, very lazy. He doesn't do anything all day when I'm not with him (we don't live ...
A. 27 June 2014: A boyfriend should not have traits that bother you on any day of your cycle. Many people blame things on the birth control pill, but I've had been stressed out by incompetent boyfriends both on the pill or without. Your hormones only bring out ... (read in full...)
I wanted to make the marriage work but I've fallen out of love with my husband
Q. Ok so I'm a huge mess!! I'm married with 3 kids. Me and my husband have been together for 9 years, married 5. Our whole entire relationship has been hard, we started off very young. Our relationship was very strained after the first 5 years. We both ...
A. 27 June 2014: The book title I think of, that would pertain to your situation is, "How to get what you want and want what you have." It seems like you only want something that is out of reach, and when you obtained something, you don't want it anymore. You have ... (read in full...)
Married with kids but think I'm still in love with my ex!
Q. Fifteen years ago I met this guy at work. We were both in our mid 20’s. We dated for two years and towards the end of those two years I got pregnant. The relationship was already starting to crumble. I ended up not having the baby and hated myself ...
A. 27 June 2014: The first thing to do is to have acceptance for the abortion. It was a good decision so no need to beat yourself up anymore. You may want to be with that guy because you think to revisit that relationship it means salvaging the mistakes you both ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a little less than two years. We met at work and were friend for a year before getting together. I moved to another town for grad school 7 months ago, but we still see each other at least once a month and ...
A. 27 June 2014: This relationship became long distance so while the break up seems out of the blue to you, to outsiders it's not. A meet up once a month is hardly able to satisfy. The ones who are able to do this maybe those who are engaged or somehow made long ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this broken feeling that my wife has? Is there anything beyond talk therapy that might work?
Q. My wife and I have been married for six years. We have one child (a toddler) together. About a year ago, my wife stated that she was questioning whether or not she wanted to continue our marriage. I was in absolute shock. She stated she had been ...
A. 27 June 2014: You are the same person she married six years ago are you not? When two people become one unit it is easy to blame things on the other when there is unhappiness. I think you have done enough. Men are not as expressive and as a stereotype, they have ... (read in full...)
How can I respond to his declaration of love when we're just friends....
Q. I'm so confused with this guy!? I've been working with this guy in the past 3 months. We get along very well and started chatting immediately. There is chemistry although recently when it's just the two of us it feels a bit nerve wracking and the...
A. 5 April 2014: Happy birthday. I think he didn't join in because he would rather be celebrating it with you, just you two. He doesn't like feeling just a friend. His crush on you is not known to others. For some reason he never asked you out but found it hard to ... (read in full...)
How do I save my two and a half year, broken-up relationship?
Q. I would like to get some advice on how to deal with a very young, very confused man, who was the best person in the world a couple months ago, madly in love with me, and then suddenly started to doubt everything and to block any form of feeling, ...
A. 11 March 2014: The commitment phobe could be a young man's disease but where is the need to be a disrespectful jackass? Not all the commitment phobes are miserable and insecure. You got the worst combination here and the only one you have to save is yourself ... (read in full...)
At 15 why is it so wrong to flirt with guys if I only want it to stay at the friend level? And why is it difficult to make friends with guys?
Q. I've seen a few posts in here about people who were taken the wrong way or who accidentally led guys on. It seems like most of you aunts and uncles think that flirting/hanging out one-on-one is leading a guy on (this happens to me ALL the time!) ...
A. 10 March 2014: Guys don't want to be too direct with girls for fear of scaring them off so they rely on little signals and flirting is one of the signals that welcome more interaction. There are two types of flirting. One is carefree, you can do it with anyone ... (read in full...)
Will he ditch me? And is it okay to proceed with a threesome?
Q. hiii i hav with this guy for 2years....we ae in ldr met once in a couple of months.... basically he is possesive guy orthodox believes in "one gal for me policy" ...never let me to talk to guys ( i m ok with it ).... he takes care for my prote...
A. 10 March 2014: If you have to ask if it's okay to proceed, then it means you are not ready to do it. Threesomes are only fun when you are single, not attached, and has no one to worry about. He told you he could do anything, so it negates what he said early about ... (read in full...)
How can I feel ok with my past now, especially when my boyfriend's past reminds me of how little I've lived?
Q. I'm a very insecure woman and it's affecting me a lot now that I'm in a relationship. Ok, so first things first, I'm 25 and as a child I had friends and was sociable and didn't care about my appearance. When I grew up, as a teenager, I was ...
A. 10 March 2014: There is nothing wrong with your past. Don't make a problem out of it. With women who've had colorful past, they have their own share of problems because some men prefer a low number. Your self esteem is sourced from the idea that it's bad that you ... (read in full...)
Why don't I receive much attention from men?
Q. Why do I not receive much attention from the general male population? Before you proceed to trash this email, thinking it comes from some innocent 22-year-old who is fishing for compliments to feed into her sky-high ego, I assure you I am fairly e...
A. 8 March 2014: I am guessing you are Asian. Americans in general find Asians to be demanding and therefore intimidated before speaking to one. Growing up in a Chinese family I find my parents to be too discriminating to outsiders. Men can find you hot but would ... (read in full...)
How can I walk away from a guy who's unsuitable for me?
Q. When I was 14 years old I fell in love or started to love a guy who was 17 but my parents didn't approve because he wasn't educated and he belonged to a different social class and his background was totally different than ours but I didn't care and ...
A. 8 March 2014: If he's dating other girls it means he wasn't waiting for you. Having different backgrounds is not the problem. The problem is that he is an opportunist and is using the technicality to justify his actions while not really caring about your ... (read in full...)
How do I get his attraction back before its too late?
Q. I am in desperate need of advice. I have lived with my boyfriend for 4 years. We are both in our late 20's. For almost two years now, we have lived together overseas. My boyfriend got a job here and I agreed to move with him with the ...
A. 7 March 2014: I can assure you, even if you got a job and contribute, the lack of attraction will be something else and you will find yourself doing anything to please him. What he did to you destroys your self esteem and it is even worse than cheating. He says ... (read in full...)
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