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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 14 September 2014: I believe you bitterness has the purpose of protecting you. You form formulas in the world and so you can predict the outcome better. If you are posting here that means you are still open to opinions. Someone who is obsessed with sex and the number ... (read in full...)
If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 14 September 2014: You don't have to forgive women who played around. I should also say it's not something to forgive because many people think that's what your youth is for, explore and to have fun. A stable life does not mean a life devoid of romance and passion. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be lying about porn for no reason.
Q. Thank you in advance for reading this and answering to whomever answers. I've been with my boyfriend quite a long time now and I found out not too long ago he had been watching porn, I just looked at him and said what's this? And he looked guilty a...
A. 13 September 2014: As you grow older with men, you won't be surprised anymore when they say one thing and mean another. Give him a break because if you take it literally everything a guy says and demand an explanation when there is discrepancy, you will just annoy ... (read in full...)
If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 13 September 2014: You can't accept a thing that is yet to happen in the future. You are not God so you can't predict that you are never going to get a girlfriend. You are making a hypothesis based on the assumption that no women want an inexperienced man. The women ... (read in full...)
My B/f said he was 'glad' that I had found out about his cheating as it has really shaken us and allowed us to see what we were neglecting in our relationship. What did he mean by that?
Q. Hi everyone, I just want some opinions or insight into this. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years, everything was amazing until around may. We started arguing all the time, we couldn't even look at each other without it erupting into an...
A. 13 September 2014: He was glad he's reunited with you. Before he responded to the fighting with more fighting and withdrawing. To the point that he wanted to escape from the relationship and started the affair. If instead you learned ways to relate to each other. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be lying about porn for no reason.
Q. Thank you in advance for reading this and answering to whomever answers. I've been with my boyfriend quite a long time now and I found out not too long ago he had been watching porn, I just looked at him and said what's this? And he looked guilty a...
A. 13 September 2014: He's lying because being caught watching porn is an embarrassing thing. We have been taught to hide our private parts and sexual thoughts from others since childhood. When he's single this has become his habit but while in a relationship he feels ... (read in full...)
His ex paid for his college and housing, now she wants him to do the same!
Q. I’m almost 26 and my bf is 27, his ex is 29. A little background first; his ex helped him get through University as a full time student while she took care of the expenses of their house and his fees. When they split up after 6 years of relationship ...
A. 13 September 2014: I think she helped him before under the premise that they would be long term. If they got married then their finances would be shared and all debts would be forgotten since it would be their money. I don't necessarily see what she is doing as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend calls me and rants about things, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I'm dating a man who likes to/ needs to "vent". This is what he calls it anyway. To me, "venting" has always meant something like calling a friend (or even talking out loud to myself in the car) and just saying what's bugging me. Just ...
A. 13 September 2014: This is a time you have to be uncaring and unsupportive because he has an anger problem. Only a zen buddha can detach and not be affected by this. A buddha probably would feel compassion towards him. He sees you as his verbal punching bag. It should ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting not right!
Q. I'm a gay male dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I have introduced him as my BF, Other half, Husband. When it comes to his coworkers he introduces me as his roommate. This has been going on since we meet. He doesn't want me to touch him at work ...
A. 13 September 2014: He may not have grown up having supportive family and friends about his sexual orientation. He is ashamed and anyone who is ashamed of his own identity can't take care of the other. He can hide from family and friends but his attitude sticks with ... (read in full...)
When will sex start becoming fun and romantic and not sore and awkward? How many more times must I endure the pain until it 'fades away'?
Q. I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend. He's had countless of sexual experience while I've had none before him. I'm very open with him and we're both open to discussion and learning. The 'inexperienced' thing didn't bother him. So a...
A. 12 September 2014: A girl's height has nothing to do with the length of the vagina canal. Also the shape and size of the penis will affect which positions feel better than others. He's telling you to not move because it ensures a straight in and straight out move so ... (read in full...)
Need help trying to start over sexually
Q. I'm recently out of a long term relationship. We had been sexually stagnant, possibly incompatible. Early on there was pressure to orgasm and he would leave angry if it didn't work, or there'd be some let down and sometimes crying. This was years ...
A. 12 September 2014: I think the consensus is that a lot of women don't orgasm vaginally. Men know this and sort of gave up but the considerate ones would go down on you and make sure you come that way. Your ex was too stuck up on that issue and gave you a lot of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sexual drive is waaaay higher than mine!
Q. Hello everyone, I need your advice. Im 20, my boyfriend is 22. We are in a relationship for a year now. My boyfriend is the first guy I slept with and I love him more than anyone on this world. The thing is, his sexual drive is waaaay bigger t...
A. 12 September 2014: If he doesn't mind you smelling sweaty or your hairy legs then try to have sex with him. Tell him you open up more if he gives you cunnilingus. Initiate more so that way he doesn't get rejected that often. You will feel more in control when you ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance for this relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems lately... I've been feeling a bit left out because he has a large group of friends and a new job and so on. We've still been hanging out and when we do it has been really nice and great just like ...
A. 12 September 2014: That comfort stage after 18 months exists but people fall out of love more often when the significant other is not really the right person for them. Being comfortable doesn't mean a complete stop to courtship and intimacy. It just means that ... (read in full...)
I do not like my fiance's disrespect towards my personal space or the way he lets his niece invade it!
Q. i have been really upset with my fiancé since two weekends ago, i am really particular about my personal space and he knows that, as a young child i had to share a room with my brothers while living in an extended family household, my parents built ...
A. 12 September 2014: No you didn't overreact. She was a thief so she shouldn't be allowed back anymore. There is a family issue here which your fiance has to straighten out with his sibling. I don't care if the girls are homeless or their parents can't keep them. If ... (read in full...)
I know time's supposed to heal, but ...
Q. I'm Needing a little advice, I realize time is meant to be a healer but it still hurts !! I had a very short but intense relationship and my partner left, I was heart broken. I have followed the things you are meant to do and it has got a little e...
A. 11 September 2014: I think there are three components to healing. Time is one of them. Getting yourself busy helps to jump start your brain. The last one that is often not emphasized is to allow yourself to feel the pain and emptiness. The three things have to be in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend used craigslist for sex hook ups but says it was innocent ?
Q. Hi I recently discovered that my boyfriend of 4 months has used craigslist sex adds in the past , He said he just used them for attention and admitted when we started dating he had a small porn addiction . it dosent bother me that he watches porn ...
A. 10 September 2014: He should get tested as you requested otherwise he would sound like he's afraid that he caught something and can't prove himself to be clean. Even if he never tried casual sex with strangers it is within your rights to ask for a health record, or ... (read in full...)
Does the guy I've been talking to only like me as a friend?
Q. So, I'm 18 and the guy I like is 21 and we met on OkCupid. We were a 95% match and when we started talking, we quickly found out that we have TONS of things in common (both nerdy and awkward, love the same music and games, same interests, same sense ...
A. 10 September 2014: No I think he wants to date you and he gets attached easily. He may not be what you were used to but give him a chance. It's hard to be flirty on the phone. How he acts in real life can surprise you. He has more to worry than you because of his ... (read in full...)
My step-son confessed to something I haven't encountered before
Q. So my step son is 11 going on 12. I have known him since he was 5 years old. He told me the other night that he couldn't sleep cause he did something and it was on his mind. He didn't want to tell me but I got it out of him. He told me it was ...
A. 10 September 2014: I also agree to handle it with grace and not jump into conclusions like he needs mental help. The reason he told you is that he felt bad and trusted you that you have the wisdom to make him feel better. I would strongly doubt that he told you what ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to understand why I feel so isolated
Q. Something has to change. Until now, I didnt understand why I felt so isolated. I would always blame it on a lack of confidence and the 'victim' mentality. I know I'm a really confident person when I want to be. But, what got me thinking was, th...
A. 10 September 2014: I think you would make a great friend. Don't worry too much about how long the friendship would last. Just tell your friend you'd been prioritizing your academics and career. He may be treating it like, "whazzup haven't heard from you" and not ... (read in full...)
She's using me as an excuse while she cheats again!
Q. Just looking for a bit of advice please. It's it a relationship problem as such. I have been friends with a girl for about 6 years now. Quite close. About 2 years ago I distanced myself and didn't speak to her because she was messing about behind ...
A. 10 September 2014: She sounds very narcissist and has a way of making others listen to her. She uses people as pawns. Yes you should cut her off completely. Her family and friends know of her ways all too well and you don't have to care about their reactions any more. ... (read in full...)
Is she loyal or disrespectful?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my gf for more than 2 years now and we are deeply in love. We have a great sense of understanding. Recently her job took her to another city. We do keep in touch daily. Now, the problem is her colleague is really inter...
A. 10 September 2014: She did not have sex with him, but she is waiting for a time to be convinced that she wants to be with him. She is also deciding if it's better to remain in that city. It is her duty to show her she's not interested in hanging out with him because ... (read in full...)
He wants a baby but isn't doing what's necessary to get one
Q. My husband has never had a high sex drive, but when we first got together he would always be willing whenever I wanted to, and he always enjoyed it. Now I'm lucky if I can get him to have sex with me any time after 9pm and never just because we want ...
A. 8 September 2014: The quality of sex also reflects the relationship. It seems like the joy had been sucked out since he got a dreadful job. It's all about paying bills now. He might think having a baby can refresh the relationship, make you feel closer as a family ... (read in full...)
Crazy about this woman at work ...
Q. I'm crazy about this woman at work. I have been for many years, and she knows it. She can seem to read my every thought while I can never seem to know what she's thinking or where I stand. Sometimes I think she's just as crazy about me, other times ...
A. 8 September 2014: You kind of put her on a pedestal because you don't really know her too well. All that time worrying about rejections, she's had other men made a move on her. When asking a woman out, you don't have to express any feelings. It's as simple as a lunch ... (read in full...)
Torn between doing whats right by my family and my lover.
Q. I've been having an affair for 5 months because my boyfriend has not fulfilled certain needs however I have stayed with him to try and hold my family together as he is the father my boys (17 and 15) has known for 7 years. There has been alot of ...
A. 8 September 2014: You also took a risk with your partner so anyone you get with would come with a risk. If your lover is not on the same page with you, like you are just a sexual partner and nothing else then there isn't anything to risk anyway. You can't honestly ... (read in full...)
I am shattered he didn't make an effort to keep his word to me!
Q. Hi everyone, I am one mad girlfriend this morning but I don't know if I can be bothered to fight. I just want some advice on the best way to handle this. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and had arranged to spend this weeke...
A. 7 September 2014: You may think that anger promotes change but I don't thinking fighting changes anything. He knew you were upset. It all comes to if you can cut him some slack and let him be a man sometimes. If he has 50 friends and does this regularly then his ... (read in full...)
He seemed to be the "one". But now I feel guilty. Does this mean my feelings have changed?
Q. I had a boy friend from two years ago. We had so much fun he was my soul mate he taught me the meaning of love. We broke up because of some issues he had. He promised me that he will propose to me and we would get married, when the issues is resolv...
A. 6 September 2014: Forgetting him is the right thing to do. Talking about marriage after a break up doesn't make sense. If you have long term intentions with a person you work them out. Not talking just creates distance. What kind of issues requires 6 months of ... (read in full...)
What are the best options to get through these issues with my partner's 28 year old daughter?
Q. My partner's 28 year old daughter has never accepted me into her father's life. She pretends I don't exist. At first I would have done almost anything to get her to talk to me. Now 9 years on I don't care, but now she has decided to pop back int...
A. 6 September 2014: The daughter is too old to discipline and teach manners. She has her mind made up about and seems to think that dad should stay single forever or somehow magically get back with mom. No this does not mean the end of relationship with him. There is ... (read in full...)
He's hot one day and cold the next. Is this FWB going stale or does he want it to become more than FWB?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could give me an outside perspective of my puzzling situation. I'm 24yrs old and have what I assume to be a friends with benefits with a guy 16yrs my senior. We started hanging out 2months ago. we clicked instantly ...
A. 6 September 2014: Even when men who are in serious relationships blow hot and cold. They say that men need to recharge then bounce back like a rubber band. Of course some never do, because they are more considerate. He can have feelings for you, move you in and still ... (read in full...)
Decision-making help needed
Q. I'm 26 years old female and have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. At the age of 14-19 I had an older guy friend who I was obsessively in love with, like if he asked me to ditch my whole family and friends and run away with him I'd most likely ...
A. 6 September 2014: I can't help but wonder what's so special about that guy. Maybe he has the quality to make you open up. He's different from the others. You and him used to feel like you were two partners in crime, for life. If you feel so stressed about him not ... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed by college so I stopped going, but my boyfriend will be disappointed
Q. Hello everyone! Well this isn't really a relationship advice more like an educational one. But it does involve my boyfriend, who I've been talking with about my career and education. Ok so I started college this past August and my ...
A. 5 September 2014: Your boyfriend is bossy and overbearing. He loves you for your profession and how you show to his world, rather than who you really want to be. Is there anyway you can make your bachelors' a five year program instead of four? That way you are still ... (read in full...)
My LDR can't get past the fact that my best friend is an ex
Q. Hey everyone well I have this question that has been bugging my mind ! I've been speaking to someone for well over a year now and I'm glad he has stuck around. Honestly this is a long distance relationship and I have heard everything about LDRs but ...
A. 5 September 2014: He is angry because you lied and as long as your ex is still hovering in the background, he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. I can get hiding this ex from him, but I don't get hiding this friend from your ex/brother. Your ld guy has trust issues ... (read in full...)
Money and promotion, or job satisfaction?
Q. Quick question.. When it comes to work, would you rather choose a job you adore and could see yourself doing forever, but has little chance of promotion and low pay OR a job you tolerate, but the chances of promotion are high, and the pay i...
A. 5 September 2014: I know I only pick one but I would do the high paying job until I absolutely can't tolerate anymore, then have the low paying job to fall back on. ... (read in full...)
Is a 20-Year-Old Girl Too Young For a 35-Year-Old Guy?
Q. I'm 20, going on 21 very soon, and I've recently met a 35-year-old guy whom I really fancy through a friend at work (I have a full-time career as I never went to university). He definitely isn't my usual "type," and we have some quite significant ...
A. 5 September 2014: I would say go for it. Dating means getting to know someone better. You don't have to think long term yet. Just don't settle only because you think good guys are that rare. They are not. He's afraid of being teased by his friends for dating a girl ... (read in full...)
Could he really be in love with both of us?
Q. I had to meet my ex recently (broke up couple months ago - he fell in love with someone else at work). He had something of mine that I needed back. Think I was ready to meet him and glad I did, we chatted for about an hour and he left. During our ...
A. 5 September 2014: Whenever I see a triangular relationship I see a man not being truly happy with either but trying to get the best of both worlds. It's the indecisiveness that create tension, suspense and postpones having to be responsible. You are hurting because ... (read in full...)
I appreciate my boyfriend's efforts at trying to prove that he's now faithful but this is not what I meant by 'prove yourself'!
Q. Hi everyone! Ive always got great advice from here so I thought I would ask again! Me and my boyfriend have been together for just under 5 years. Over the summer I found out he was having an affair of 5 weeks with another women. He had ended...
A. 5 September 2014: I think this is what it means to prove himself. If you are questioning his lifestyle, it could be because you don't respect him and the relationship anymore. You either enjoy being priority, get used to it or decide he is not the right man for you. ... (read in full...)
How can I change myself to not care? And should I change ?
Q. Sorry for this boring question. First of all I'm not looking for sympathy, I just am tired of being emotional. I know people will say it's because I'm going through puberty or something but it is nothing to do with that at all. Basically I am tired ...
A. 5 September 2014: You should live your life fully. Feel joy totally and pain totally. The thing you can change about yourself is how to regulate it so that you can still function normal daily life. Having panic attacks is not fun at all. There is a saying that a ... (read in full...)
Confused because he wanted to keep an old relationship from me
Q. Should we know our partner's past relationships? Lately I found a really old archived blog post from his blog talking about a girl he used to date 2 years back. (How much he likes her and how happy she makes him). I asked if he dated anyon...
A. 5 September 2014: Not everyone likes to share old stories with current partners. If he said no I would have left it at that. Even if you told him you found his blog post he still has the right to keep that to himself. If you want to know why people don't want to talk ... (read in full...)
Should I Be Worried That My BF Doesn't Love Me?
Q. I am 50 and have been with my BF who is 53 for a year. He has been divorced for 8 years and has had 4 serious relationships, including me, during that time. He tells me that he loves me but is hesitant to include me in his future plans, saying that ...
A. 5 September 2014: If he tells you he doesn't love you, then you would dump him right away. He loves it when it's convenient for him but it doesn't sound like he has faith in relationships. He may think it's silly to plan for the future because you are too old for ... (read in full...)
How has the porn industry shaped our view on relationships?
Q. I would like to know woman's view on the porn industry and how it has shaped our view on relationships. Are we being forced to believe that this is the way we should be having sex and to like it? Porn has changed over the last 20 years, the acts ...
A. 5 September 2014: There are strong women who want to dominate their men and there are strong women who want to reclaim their femininity by being submissive. Porn did shape how I feel sex should be. I do not see that as a negative thing. I still have preference on ... (read in full...)
How do I encourage him without scaring him off?
Q. I like this guy I mat a couple of years ago, on an exchange trip to Germany (we both live in England and are 17). I told him I liked him, and we've met up a couple of times since then, once with mutual friends and once on our own (although it wasn't ...
A. 5 September 2014: If he's shy then continue to be his friend without any pressure of turning it into anything more. You both need the consistency and the reassurance that you both like each other the same way. The physical part can come slowly and gradually. You can ... (read in full...)
I'd be happy to be his friend, but he wants more
Q. Dear Cupid I have a male friend who I've known since childhood. We recently met up as we hadn't seen each other for years. His mum was my mums best friend. He is single with no family and his relatives have mostly all died. He's a nice chap and...
A. 4 September 2014: You didn't accept his invite, and you should just leave it at that. It's unfortunate that unattractive men have a harder time finding girlfriends but this is not your problem anymore. If you keep his friendship out of pity that he is lonely, it is ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else thinks that they closeness between the ex and my sons gf is a little odd?
Q. My son is 23 and has been dating a girl for about 8 months now. She is 22 and has a 4 year old son, Grady. . I was a little concerned with them dating not wanting him to get involved in an ex bf new bf drama, Last weekend we were invited to the l...
A. 13 August 2014: All these people and the relations are giving me a headache, and that's because this kind of closeness is almost unheard of. Imagine if the ex has a girlfriend and kid too, do they all celebrate together? Instead of two families there would be three ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend has been using me for money. I don't know whether to hold it together till I find another place or just leave!
Q. I have discovered my boyfriends profile on a dating website and I am so angry. Have been with my boyfriend for 2 years - we met on the internet and then for 18 months we met up every weekend minimum our relationship got deeper. I have now been ...
A. 13 August 2014: I think he does know how to drive and pretending he doesn't. Maybe he has outstanding tickets or dui charges. So that's where the "lesson money" went. Maybe he knows that he sucked you dry and therefore finding other non suspecting, kind females to ... (read in full...)
Lately he hasn't been reacting sexually to me
Q. My boyfriend has usually had a higher sex drive than me so I make a point to initiate sex or sexual activity about every second day so he won't feel neglected or unwanted. But the last few times I've tried to there's been absolutely no interest from ...
A. 13 August 2014: Let him initiate the next time. You've been the thoughtful one all this time. When you stop doing the work he will soon realize what's missing. If he's stressed out about something he will tell you when he feels ready. Also sex should be more about ... (read in full...)
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