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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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He tries to turn our love making into some sort of sordid porno by imitating what he has watched, which doesn't do anything for me!
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for six months. I'm 26 and he's 29. We see each other every weekend and text and call each other daily. Our relationship in general is wonderful and we have lots in common, however,...
A. 21 October 2014: He has some sexual dysfunction which has nothing to do with you. It's either his health (physical or mental) or his brain got so desensitized that he needs a new and different stimuli each time. I don't want to be with someone like that either. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I've never kissed a girl before?
Q. I have a date with a girl this weekend but I'm nervous because I've never actually kissed a girl before. I'm not saying we're going to kiss on the first date but if it goes well, who knows. What I want to know is, if we do kiss, should I tell her ...
A. 21 October 2014: I would tell her if she seems very friendly. She could feel very special that you are her first and be understanding that you can be nervous. I don't think it matters when you say it. Very few girls would actually respond negatively that you never ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex is contacting him and he's stopped telling me and is deleting texts. Why??
Q. Hello, Ive asked a question about this situation before but there has since been developments therefore i need further advice. My boyfriend of 2 years met up with a friend back in august. This friend wasnt just a friend it was some who he live...
A. 19 October 2014: It doesn't change much because he isn't acting like a committed boyfriend. You said he had no problems telling people that you are in a committed relationship, but expect that so called friend, right? Your boyfriend talks and acts according to what ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is preparing for a divorce
Q. Can someone advise me please? Ive done nothing wrong and he is the one giving me the silent treatment, but he left a receipt out for solicitors fees. I think he's divorcing me!!!(he;s been working out figures too and leaving them around, not hidd...
A. 19 October 2014: You don't need a reason for divorce. People can just say they are no longer happy or have no passion so they would rather be single. Divorce rate for couples over 50 had doubled. After children are grown up and independent there are no more ties to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex is contacting him and he's stopped telling me and is deleting texts. Why??
Q. Hello, Ive asked a question about this situation before but there has since been developments therefore i need further advice. My boyfriend of 2 years met up with a friend back in august. This friend wasnt just a friend it was some who he live...
A. 19 October 2014: 2 years together without an exclusive title means exactly why he feels he can continually meet up with an ex. That's what they probably were when they lived together. He got the girlfriend benefit without ever doing the devoted boyfriend part. Their ... (read in full...)
Why does my significant other prefer to hang out with her girlfriends instead of me?
Q. I have been seeing this woman for several years now, and I wonder if anyone can shed some light on this matter. What would make a woman hint at making plans with you on a Friday night only to tell you that day that she's going to hang out with her...
A. 18 October 2014: Perhaps her depth of relationships with people go only as far as meeting somewhere, to chit chat and fill the time. She continues to hang out with someone she doesn't like because it's routine and comfortable. At least they are able to make ... (read in full...)
I think I'm over him now. He broke up with me. Why is he now reaching out to me, considering he has a new Gf?
Q. My ex dumped me about 1.5 years ago. He's in a relationship with someone else 3 months after our breakup. I was desperate and couldn't move on. I spent over one year to put myself together and decided to move abroad. The last day before I left ho...
A. 18 October 2014: Men saying I love you when they really don't, has caused a lot of broken hearts. The magic of those three words made women stay in abusive or non satisfying relationships. When some men break up with women they never see it as a permanent thing. ... (read in full...)
First my Dad cheated. Now I don't know how to face my Mom now that I know she's having an affair with a married man. How can I face this?
Q. please help me, my mom and dad are divorced my dad cheated on my mom when I was 9 years old. I went through what I thought was the darkest moment of my childhood. Because of this my relationship with my dad is almost non-existent. I survived thi...
A. 18 October 2014: One thing you have to know is parents are not perfect, but their love for you is the same. You should not look into your mom's messages. You can say to your mom you don't agree with what she's doing but she has to make sure that her facebook profile ... (read in full...)
What can I do considering it seems that I am in another abusive relationship and pregnant too?
Q. I am so depressed and need some help/advice... I am 22 on Thursday. I have two kids (3 and 5) and I am 23 weeks with my third. I have messed up my life up so much... I was with a "man" for 5 years and he physically and emotionally abuse...
A. 18 October 2014: As I read your other post I learned that this baby is not even your current partner's. Can you not contact the one night stand guy and tell him about this? You may not expect him to want to be in a relationship but at least he will be financially ... (read in full...)
I love my BF. A flat mate seems to have a crush on me. Though not interested, how should I handle this?
Q. I am 22 and live with my boyfriend,a gay couple and a single guy. Recently I have begun wondering whether the single guy might have a crush on me. He's really shy and never had a girlfriend. We get on really well but I don't want him to get the ...
A. 18 October 2014: I would talk to my boyfriend not about the attention you are getting from the flat mate, but about long term plans such as moving in to a two bedroom only, or sharing with just couples and no single people. Living with single people, female or male ... (read in full...)
Does she truly love me? What do you think?
Q. I have being dating a girl for about two years now and I love her very much. before we started dating she had a boyfriend but I loved this girl because she is so jovial,sweet voice and easy to go along with and so respectful. so I started getting ...
A. 18 October 2014: I meant keep it under control until she feels secure that everything is in place. ... (read in full...)
Does she truly love me? What do you think?
Q. I have being dating a girl for about two years now and I love her very much. before we started dating she had a boyfriend but I loved this girl because she is so jovial,sweet voice and easy to go along with and so respectful. so I started getting ...
A. 18 October 2014: You need to find out if she wants to wait until marriage. Maybe that's the reason why her ex told her they must get married and he said later then she broke up with him. It seems you have contact with her brother and he approves of the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can be done to increase the friction when my wife and I have sex?
Q. I am a married male in my early 40s. When my wife and I have sex she gets so wet and slippery that after a while there is almost no friction. The other night I couldn't even feel anything to the extent that I lost my erection. I had to pull out ...
A. 18 October 2014: It's very good she is so turned on by you. Who can complain about that? You can make love to her in unexpected times, like middle of the night, or early in the morning when your testosterone level is the highest. You can also perform cunnilingus and ... (read in full...)
After I married her I found out she had worked as a hooker. Can I make this marriage work? Or should I divorce her?
Q. A year and half ago i happen to know a girl through her relative. She was living in (Country 2) and i was living in (country 3). But we both were from (Country 1) She was there since she was 8 or 9 living with her parents and two siblings. ...
A. 18 October 2014: She is jealous because she feels that no man would ever want her again. Her sexual prowess is not something to be proud of. You should annul the marriage if you think you could never accept her past. Because every time you make love with her you ... (read in full...)
He says that he loves me only after a month of dating?
Q. {Moderator note: two related questions from the same OP combined} Hey, so, I'm feeling a little out of sorts. I've been dating this guy for a little over a month now, and he said that he loves me. I was completely shocked, and I didn't really f...
A. 18 October 2014: You can tell him your last relationship made you fearful of trusting anyone. No need to go into details. That way he will understand it's not his problem. It's important that you touch that subject only briefly. You open yourself up to him and show ... (read in full...)
He's odd because he's very hot and cold one minute really likes me, the next behaving like an idiot!
Q. I dont understand guys! I've been doing a bit of online dating, met a guy we went out for a drink, we got on really well but i didnt fancy him at all. He text me a few days later and asked me out on a second date which i agreed to, just to make...
A. 18 October 2014: I think you are both blowing hot and cold and he's lying about dating another girl. At least you have more manners and tell him the truth. He sounds like he had been frustrated being rejecting by girls for being a nice guy and he's trying some bad ... (read in full...)
Was a wrong to contact a women to see if her baby was my boyfriends ?
Q. I recently found out that a few months before my boyfriend met me he had an affair with a married women . I found old text messages he still had on his iPhone with nude pics they sent each other. he admitted he slept with her but didn't know she was ...
A. 17 October 2014: I don't think there are enough real life examples to show whether it's right or wrong to do this, I myself would have done the same thing. Of course on the Maury show cases like this could be common. It is within your right to know if he has a baby ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to understand that we not in the same place sexually, so that I can put an end to my affair?
Q. I'm only interested in advice, not judgement. If you don't have anything constructive to say, you should not even bother responding. My husband and I been married for 8 years, and have a 5 year old. We were together for 2 years before that. ...
A. 16 October 2014: For some reason he just stopped seeing you as a sexual figure. Some men who witnessed childbirth described it as an experience that changed their brains forever. What I would be curious though, is if he still has that animal passion in him, like ... (read in full...)
Our relationship has lost its spark and I want it back
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for almsot 5 years. We started going out young. But recently we both have gotten caught up with college and exams or in my case college and work. We recently have not been able to go out on dates or spend alone ...
A. 16 October 2014: If you want ideas what to talk about, it could be plans for winter break, or something else to look forward to. You have to express yourself to your girlfriend that you would rather talk about something else because just hearing about school makes ... (read in full...)
Do I marry him? Or go with the reality that sometimes love isn't enough?
Q. I am very torn as to going through with marrying my fiance. My fiance is a wonderful man-he is a great Father to his kids and Father figure to mine. He treats me amazingly well, and is just honest, kind, etc-all the good stuff. However, he has...
A. 16 October 2014: In a marriage you merge your finances. Some people like to have two separate accounts and one joint account for spending. I don't see why you have to break up with him if you can separate how you use your money. Marriage would certainly be a benefit ... (read in full...)
LDR told me to get lost, then told my Mum she was pregnant
Q. I met a girl about a month ago when I was on vacation in Florida. We spent the last week together and I stayed at her place on the beach and we slept together a few times. She said I was the best guy she had ever met and she could see herself having ...
A. 15 October 2014: I am not sure if she's pregnant. It was only three weeks ago since you met and you said she was on her period when you last talked. She could be saying she's pregnant to spite you for spewing her lies. Mess with your sleep at night.
If she is inde... (read in full...)
Family secrets: The only two who were not told about the cheating? Myself and my son. How do I deal with their toxic actions?
Q. My husband had an affair with his sister in law. His older brother was 20 years older than her, they married because she was pregnant. He had another younger girl pregnant, but chose to marry ''C''. He never had contact with that child from the...
A. 13 October 2014: Never mind what created his selfish, entitling tendencies. If he's unwilling to move out then you move out and divorce him. At least you have two sons who are on your side. You should look forward to life without that dysfunctional family. They ... (read in full...)
My husband says he's cool with me having relations with other women. How have others handled a similar situation as this?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We have had many ups and downs but despite these we are still together and communicate with one another very openly and honestly. Lately things have been a bit rubbish and he hasn't been very attracte...
A. 13 October 2014: You still communicate and do things together. So the friendship part is still good. Do you still love one another and will you feel sad if the marriage was to end now? I feel that you are only staying to see if there are benefits, the taboo that ... (read in full...)
Is this really a ''Guy thing,'' as my fiance implies? His remarks upset me.
Q. My question is for guys. When you're in a serious relationship do you look at girls and think in your head if you could get with them, or not, if you were single? My fiance and I have a baby together and we went out to lunch near his work and he s...
A. 13 October 2014: You can say it's a guy thing to be insensitive as well. I think he's trying to get you to feel insecure, or to test you if you act concerned and worried. There is no good way to respond to this. You flipped it back to him and said you wouldn't do it ... (read in full...)
I've lost my sex drive and I'm starting to resent him
Q. My sex drive has completely disappeared but my boyfriend still initiates sex every time I see him. I usually end up having sex (or at least using my mouth or hands) because I feel so awful for not wanting to, but I'm really starting to resent it. I ...
A. 13 October 2014: I will not change my birth control methods to suit a man's needs.
My advice won't be popular but it's what worked for me the best. I am not saying women should be able to do what I do. I give in and have sex but the end result is that both are happ... (read in full...)
I decided to break up with her, but I have this crushing feeling that I need her in my life!
Q. Hey everybody, how's it going? I used to go on this site years ago when I was desperate for advice, and lately I've been finding myself feeling the same way - hopeless. I'm 21 years old and I just recently ended a relationship with my girlfrie...
A. 13 October 2014: You may have different upbringing. You see her loving gestures as sacrifice but maybe she is natural at doing this because that's how she was raised. You wonder how she can make love out of nothing at all when in fact there is no reason to not love. ... (read in full...)
How do I make this relationship work without burning myself out?
Q. Well me and my girlfriend are considered a odd couple. She is 5'9, slim, and a very beautiful chocolate goddess. I am 5'3 and husky. She is very much a turn-on to me. She could literally be a pornstar. I on the other hand am not really eye appe...
A. 13 October 2014: I would tone it down to twice a day the most. She's not going to die from that. You can indulge once in a while, maybe on birthdays but to do 3-5 times daily is impractical. Find something else to do that creates a loving connection. Go outside ... (read in full...)
Recently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Will this spell doom for my career aspirations?
Q. At the age of 24, 5 years into my degree qualifications at a top university, I have just recieved the devastating news that I have Aspergers Syndrome. I am very intelligent and hardworking but after getting fired for the 3rd time I went to see a ...
A. 12 October 2014: Companies can be cruel. They know you have the intelligence to do the job but they don't have time to teach you the skill (whether it's social or multitasking) that other people take for granted. You should first look into occupational therapy to ... (read in full...)
Should I initiate some subtle moves to let my 41 year of Professor know I like him?
Q. Its kind of a winding story but I just feel I need objective opinions from people I dont know. I am a foreign graduate student at a very prestigious university in country A. I was fortunate enough to receive a scholarship to come and study here...
A. 12 October 2014: I think the code not allowing professors to date students make it even more attempting to flirt or play with the taboo. I don't think you should make subtle moves because he had already told you he has a partner, and you a foreign student. Your ... (read in full...)
Really fancy this guy 31. Don't want to lose him. So what can I do? Because I'm not in the right place for a relationship right now.
Q. An acquaintance of mine introduced me to his little brother (who's 31; I'm 21) last month, and I've seen his brother around a couple of times since then and chatted to him. Long story short, I really fancy his brother - he's got an amazingly nic...
A. 12 October 2014: When you are going to meet him again, first see if there's mutual liking. Then explain your situation and let him decide if a few months is too much to wait. Hopefully a guy in his 30's he's past the age to be impatient and just wanting to score. If ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he's not sexually attracted to me because I put to much pressure on him
Q. I'm 23 and my bf who is 27 won't have sex or even make out with me. we were both each other's first, and we've been going out for almost 2 1/2 years. The few times that we have "had sex" were only mins long because something would interrupt us and ...
A. 12 October 2014: If natural horniness is not enough to give him pressure to have sex, I don't know what else is. He could be low in testosterone or not so attracted to females. Or an anxiety problem. He could also be purposefully planning things that would interrupt ... (read in full...)
It's taken me four years, a nearly broken engagement, and me making out with another guy to realize that I want to give my fiance his ultimate fantasy: two girls giving him a blow job at the same time
Q. First, a little background that could help with any advice givings. I ask that no one judges my actions as I already know that I screwed up and believe me, I am working hard to better everything again. My fiance has only ever been with one woman ...
A. 12 October 2014: At the end, the issue that you had different habits split you up and they are never resolved. Now you created more issues regarding trust and evening the score. You may feel that by giving him the ultimate fantasy he will be satisfied and go forward ... (read in full...)
Am I holding on to this marriage for nothing?
Q. I was 8 months pregnant with our third child when I found out my husband was cheating on me. We reconciled I though. After I had our daughter on his birthday 2 weeks later he left me and moved in with her ( He did support us financially the whole ...
A. 11 October 2014: Maybe if you show him the papers and ask him to come with you to the lawyers, that would wake him up that you are serious. Tell him if he doesn't go to counselling with you that's it. You will file yourself and after one year of separation then the ... (read in full...)
Worried over my boyfriend's relationship with his girl best friend
Q. I just started dating a guy who's in his early 20's as well. He has a best friend whom he befriended for just over a year, who's a girl, who's his ex-housemate and someone who he was attracted to. The girl and I happen to stay in the same town. He ...
A. 11 October 2014: My judgment will be biased, but that doesn't mean it's not valid. Friendships like these bother me to the core, and I would not meddle in it at all. So I don't have an experience like this.
It will be the umpteenth story I see here about two chil... (read in full...)
I feel really angry because he treated me as a lesser person!
Q. My husband has gone to visit his mother in a different country, I know she does not like me and wants her son to stay with her,as then he can pay for his family there. Before he went he would say he misses his country and his mother. He would be on ...
A. 11 October 2014: If he's the same age as you, then his parents can up to live 20 years longer. That's 2160 hours a year on skype time, times 20. If he is so afraid of his parents, then what gives him the authority to think of you as a lesser person? He probably has ... (read in full...)
Its all gone a bit flat, how do we put the spark back in?
Q. Ive bee with my boyfriend for two years and he said that he feels like their is no spark anymore and that he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel the same when he looks at me I don't know what to do we bearly have sex we don't live together but we ...
A. 11 October 2014: A relationship needs a direction or something you look forward to. The spark also comes and goes. I think it's good that he can honestly share what he is feeling, but at the same time he doesn't know how much of a bummer he is sounding, without ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel scared about a relationship like this?
Q. I feel really weird about my relationship with my boyfriend. I feel so much love towards him that it almost hurts! I think about him and want to shed tears of joy... But I try to repress it for some reason. It's like I'm scared to fully love him o...
A. 10 October 2014: May he is giving you a reason to feel scared. You are the one who interact with him on a regular basis and sometimes you can sense red flags from the way he talks or acts. This could be because of miscommunication or just being a man and not saying ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he wants to see me still if he doesn't want a proper relationship.
Q. Hi, I've been dating a guy on/off for over a year. The reason we ever go off is because he doesn't commit to calling me his girlfriend. Every time I try to move on he continually texts me asking to see me. I don't understand why he wants to see ...
A. 10 October 2014: For some men, getting the girlfriend experience while not being the boyfriend is the best thing ever. As to what kind of men can be some cruel, it would be men would lack compassion, empathy and see relationship exchanges as how much they can take. ... (read in full...)
Is she using me, or is she really interested??
Q. I am usually i'm good at telling if the other half likes me or not. I have been seeing this girl since August. We have been out 10 times or so, so far, mainly just dinner or cinema. She has been to mine once and we just watched a movie, we ...
A. 10 October 2014: I think she is bringing her sister and her boyfriend to stop you from touching her. She is behaving this way because she doesn't want to feel used by you sexually. She's probably testing you if in 3 months you are sticking by her then you are safe ... (read in full...)
He's enlisting in the Air Force and wants to get married and try for a baby before he leaves!
Q. Dear Cupid, I know it's been awhile since I last wrote and a lot has happened in that time I'm with someone new for starters and we've been together for a year with no breaking up or taking a break. I know I've said it before but with...
A. 10 October 2014: I believe they get 10 days of paternity leave. He can sign up for more but it is up to his boss' agreement. If you are asking if you should go ahead with the marriage and having a baby remember that there are always naysayers as well as supporters. ... (read in full...)
My dad told my fiancé he can cheat on me!
Q. I don't know what to think of my dad anymore. my fiance works for him, and my dad tells him dont tell my wife or daughter but if my wife gains anymore weight i wont be attracted to her and tell her im gonna sleep with other woman id understand if ...
A. 10 October 2014: JFK's dad would say something similar and cheating was forgiven in his era. Right now I don't think so. My dad is 67, probably much older than your dad and I can't imagine any man today saying this to betray his daughter like that. If you feel angry ... (read in full...)
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