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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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I really don't understand what he is thinking or feeling!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted this the other day but didn't get any replies and more has happened since then so I thought I'd try again. So I posted a question on here a while ago, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-in-love-with-my-be...
A. 13 August 2010: I'm very sorry things didn't work out the way we had hoped. Do your best to stay strong with regard to the rules you laid out. It will be very important so that you can sort out your own feelings. How knows, you could end up in a "When Harry Met ... (read in full...)
An ex with benefits
Q. Me and my ex- boyfriend broke up about 3 months ago and right afterwards he got a new girlfriend, that only lasted 2 weeks and now he has another girlfriend and this has been about a month now, but the thing is he wants to be "friends" but everytime ...
A. 11 August 2010: Excellent answer Jmtmj! I couldn't agree more. He knows what strings he can pull with you to get you in bed, and he does it, all the while he has another girlfriend...
He's a player, and now a cheater. Get out of this. Give yourself some tim... (read in full...)
Is this considered incest?
Q. [Mod Note - OP's own title] I recently visited my cousin during my vacation in LA. She's my first cousin and she's a very attractive girl. We're both also 29 years old. While we were hanging out I asked her about the night clubs in LA. She said...
A. 11 August 2010: Ha, I go to LA every year and this kind of thing never happens to me. Mind giving me your cousin's number? Just kidding.
A little wierd, yes, incest, no. Like TimmD said, it's is natural to feel arousal in such a situation. I'd be more wor... (read in full...)
Porn for women?
Q. [OP original title] Hi there. With all these porn questions flying around... I just had to ask: where can I find the porn for women? Guys have their places for porn, and it is quite easy to come by. But as we women know, they don't really work fo...
A. 11 August 2010: By porn for women I'm assuming you mean more softcore porn. Things like you'll find on cinemax late at night. Where penetration isn't shown, just some nudity and a story, preferably a romantic one.
Try searching for softcore. That might ge... (read in full...)
Boyfriend does crack and swears he doesn't cheat on me. Is that even possible?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a boyfriend that is a crack cocaine binger. I am very naive about what goes on when my boyfriend is in this lifestyle. I heard that every time a man smokes this drug that they are promiscuous and can not be alone. My boyfri...
A. 11 August 2010: It is possible, but the bigger problem is the fact that he is going on crack binges. I have watched friends go down that road, and it is ugly. One friend came home to find her fiance sucking his dealer's dick for more coke. That drug is serious ... (read in full...)
Does he have the wrong idea?
Q. [OP original title] Hello everyone! I'm 21 years old and I think I've gotten myself into quite a mess. This guy and I met at our school a few months ago. We didnt get a chance to talk that much because it was the end of the semester but he added me o...
A. 11 August 2010: Yes, he would not be coming if he wasn't looking to hook up with you. Why would you agree to let someone you barely know stay with you? Not a smart move in my book.
Are you leading him on? Yes and no. You are being friendly. While it is nothi... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be jelous of an ex?
Q. Is it wrong to be jealous of an ex? When my gf was jealous of my ex i broke off all ties with her. But now that i'm getting jealous of her ex she says i have no choice in the matter and i have to put up with it. She constantly tells me that i have ...
A. 11 August 2010: My advice is to end it. Not because of the jealousy, but because of the glaring double standard that she has put out. You can't talk to your ex, but she can talk to hers? Really? Fuck that.
She can definitely not text him. It's easy. Y... (read in full...)
How do I please my boyfriend in bed?
Q. I am in desperate need of help. Don't take this the wrong way. My boyfriend and I are in love and happy and hoping to start a life together. The only thing we really seem to have a problem with (or rather he has a problem with) is in bed. More ...
A. 11 August 2010: Well, here's the thing, he doesn't have to constantly dictate what you should be doing. Hopefully once you learn a few techniques that really get him going, you'll remember them and use them in the future. He won't have to constantly be telling ... (read in full...)
How do I please my boyfriend in bed?
Q. I am in desperate need of help. Don't take this the wrong way. My boyfriend and I are in love and happy and hoping to start a life together. The only thing we really seem to have a problem with (or rather he has a problem with) is in bed. More ...
A. 11 August 2010: Well, a couple of books you could check out are "The Joy of Sex" and "Kama Sutra." Those have tons of positions listed and things to try.
My suggestion about the other stuff is learn first what makes you feel good. Often I've found that when I l... (read in full...)
Help! I can't say no to sex!
Q. Ok. I'm 19 years old. I've had a many boyfriends in the past and I lost my virginity about a year ago. Before i lost it I thought sex should be a very intimate, highly valued, and important part of my life. However now that I've been having sex, I ...
A. 11 August 2010: I think you need to do your best to stop having sex with all these guys and try to find a real BF who has a comparable sex drive. While I know it is a double standard, many men view girls who do what you are doing as sluts. That's not a reputation ... (read in full...)
Should I helped my depressed ex?
Q. My ex gf has been in contact on and off in the past few months. after we broke up, we didn't communicate for around 6 months. Anyway, recently I believe she is suffering from depression or something similar. She told me online that she feels d...
A. 11 August 2010: I think it's admirable of you to want to help her out. Here are the things I'd be weighing in my decision to help her out:
Does she have a history of manipulating me?
Does she have any other support network/friends who could help?
Would s... (read in full...)
Do guys mention girls they like a lot?
Q. Do you think if a guy mentions a girl a lot, he likes her? I know in high school this is the case, but do you think that this could be true even when we're older? I am wondering because the guy I am dating right now mentions this one friend, wh...
A. 11 August 2010: Yup, red flag. He likes her. Whether or not he'd make a move, I can't say. Most guys will crush on female friends at some point during the friendship, if not the whole friendship. Reading here, I've found that many women do this too.
I do ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but I think I'm falling for someone else!
Q. [Mod Note: OP's Title] I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years, we've been through sooo much together and stayed together through it all, i have had my doubts before but i've never been interested in anyone else before. we both went out with...
A. 11 August 2010: If you love your GF and want to be with her, then do not pursue this person. As guys, we rarely have female friends who we wouldn't bed down if given the chance. Girls know this. If you start talking to this girl a lot, then you run the risk of ... (read in full...)
I love her and she loves me but she's dating my friend!
Q. Sooo Ive known this girl for 11 years now and ive always had a thing for her. Time went by and eventually she started dating my best friend. he treats her like crap and all i can do is watch. He recently cheated and i told her what happened. i ...
A. 11 August 2010: Do you really want to be with someone who lets themself be walked all over by their BF?
I understand your feelings, I really do. She has to be the one to get out of her unhealthy relationship. If you sell out your other friend (her BF) in t... (read in full...)
I kissed another guy! Help!
Q. recentally i had a campout with some friends, earlier in the day my boyfriends cusion told me that he had feelings for me, then later that night we kissed. my boyfriend found out and we had a massive argument and broke up but then he took me back ...
A. 11 August 2010: I think he's evaluating if he actually wants to be in a relationship with you. You not only kissed someone else, but that person was related to him. He's also likely wondering how family could do something like that to him. This hurt him on many ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever vomited whilst giving a blow job?
Q. [Mod Note: OPs own title] I give my boyfriend oral sex almost every day and I love doing it it turns me on a lot, but last night I got carried away with it I went wild and then out of no where I gagged and suddenly vomited all over him. I was mort...
A. 11 August 2010: Yeah, nothing to worry about. If he said it's no big deal, then that's the case. Crazy stuff happens during sex sometimes. BTW, if it makes you feel better, there is a whole genre of porn devoted to gaging during blowjobs. Who knows, it may have ... (read in full...)
What is the right path for us to take to help mend our marriage after the affair?
Q. PLease someone help me ...advise me please...i hurt so bad... I want my husband to give me absolute honest detailed clear picture of what he was doing talking on cell phone,emailings text messaging exchanging pictures with some women in secret f...
A. 10 August 2010: Since you asked, I think you are asking too much. Reliving the affair is not the way to get past it, at least not in my book. Really, what we're dealing with here is a complete destruction of the trust in your relationship. Unfortunatly there is ... (read in full...)
How long does it take the average guy to cum?
Q. So my question is simple I was just wondering how long does it take the average guy to cum ..... like for a guy does it happened quicker during intercourse compared to oral ? ...
A. 10 August 2010: daletom brings up a good point about the Kegal exercises. My last GF would use this and no matter how I resisted, I couldn't help but cum.
When it comes to oral, I can last forever too. I think it's partially because I was conditioned by previ... (read in full...)
How will I know, when I am ready for sex?
Q. I am currently in a relationship with a guy. We have been courting for almost two months but we have an issue regarding the sexual aspect. I am 24 and a virgin and 'not ready' whilst he is experienced. He keeps saying he loves me and is willing to ...
A. 9 August 2010: I seriously doubt that most of us were really ready when we lost our virginity. The questions you should focus on are these:
Do I love him?
Does he love me?
Do I want to remember him forever?
You will always remember your first. I t... (read in full...)
Is she hitting up on me!? What do I do?
Q. can you help? i live an average life in uni, but i have a best friend and she is really cool and sweet but a bit too friendly recently. she is just my bestest friend, shes had more boyfriends and break ups than days in a year, and when she does ...
A. 9 August 2010: I'd interpret it more as her doing some soul searching and looking to you for some real connection. It is highly possible that it is nothing more than her way of expressing her gratitude for your friendship and wanting to be closer friends with ... (read in full...)
Why is my abusive Ex not abusive to the new girl?
Q. well i left my abusive bf(the father of my 5 year old twins)about a year ago and i am lonely and misserable i live at my moms cause i cant afford my own place.my ex has a live in girlfriend and his own apt and he appears to be happy and not abusive ...
A. 9 August 2010: Because life isn't fair.
If it makes you feel better, they are likely in their honeymoon phase and all this happiness will likely fade with time. I bet your relationship with him wasn't bad at the start either.
My advice to you is to focus ... (read in full...)
I really don't understand what he is thinking or feeling!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted this the other day but didn't get any replies and more has happened since then so I thought I'd try again. So I posted a question on here a while ago, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-in-love-with-my-be...
A. 9 August 2010: Nope, this is the kind of thing that I come to this webpage for! :D
Ok, given the new information, there are again a couple of possibilities here. I'll do my best to lay them out as I see them.
Possibility 1.
The person you talked to the... (read in full...)
Two much
Q. [OP original title] Two months ago my friend had me meet this guy,who is currently my boyfriend.We've liked eachother since the day we met but only started being boyfriend/girlfriend about two weeks ago.Me and him are really good together(i thin...
A. 9 August 2010: Or he said that for the effect he knew it would have on you. This guy knew you had a BF and has been doing his best to replace that BF with himself.
Ultimately you've got some soul searching to do. If you like guy 1, then be with him. If you l... (read in full...)
Forgive and let go or move on?
Q. Im currently a senior in high school and ive been with my boyfriend off and on since freshman year. love is a big word and although i tell him i love him, im not totally sure of it. we have had alot of problems in the past and we break up all the ...
A. 9 August 2010: Relationships should not be on again/off again. If you can't stay together, then you aren't meant for eachother.
I can think back to good moments with all my ex-gf's, but that doesn't mean I should be with them. We broke up for a reason, ... (read in full...)
How long does it take the average guy to cum?
Q. So my question is simple I was just wondering how long does it take the average guy to cum ..... like for a guy does it happened quicker during intercourse compared to oral ? ...
A. 9 August 2010: TimmD is right, way too many factors to play in here. Personally, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a quickie, so 5-10 minutes is the goal. Other times we're diving in for a night of passion. Then it can go hours. I'd say an ... (read in full...)
I want my husband back, not this overweight unhealthy man!
Q. i feel very lost.. my husband has always been heavy.. he is 6 ft 2 and 478. i am 5 ft 9 and 135. sometimes i think i know too much being a nurse as i watch his weight go up and our marriage go down. yes i love him. i have changed our home eating to ...
A. 9 August 2010: Here are some more thought's I've had.
What motivates your man? Is there any way you can use that motivation to help him lose weight? What do your children think? Have they talked to him about it? ... (read in full...)
How can I help my online African lover come to Canada?
Q. he is from africa, we met online for three years online he is very wonderful, so i went to him and we have fun and love, coming together have been problems, with my profession i can't move there, so how can help him come to canada.thank you...
A. 9 August 2010: Ok, first, I hope you aren't sending this person any money. This is one of the number one scams on the internet. There is always an excuse why they need help from you, and you being in love, send them what they need.
Now, if you've met in perso... (read in full...)
I want my husband back, not this overweight unhealthy man!
Q. i feel very lost.. my husband has always been heavy.. he is 6 ft 2 and 478. i am 5 ft 9 and 135. sometimes i think i know too much being a nurse as i watch his weight go up and our marriage go down. yes i love him. i have changed our home eating to ...
A. 9 August 2010: Unfortunately for a person to change the have to want to for themselves. It sounds to me like he doesn't want to change. I envy the fact that he has someone like you who is trying so hard to help him, and who really wants to seek alternatives to ... (read in full...)
Circumcision for women... is this all taboo?
Q. Hello, I'm a south african citizen, there are many cultures all over the world and some are considerd taboo.. especially here in the african continent to where im from, i live in johannesburg. most of you who have visited s.a would know it. There ...
A. 9 August 2010: When done in a proper setting, it can be safe, and is a matter of personal preference. Ultimately it is your body, and you have the right to choose what you do with it.
The problem comes in with the way in which it is typically practice... (read in full...)
All I think when we have sex is I wish he was my ex.
Q. i came out of a 4 year relationship with a guy i love. i am with someone else and my ex knows. this has happened very fast. when we have sex all i can think is i wish he was my ex,i know i have made a foolish mistake. if he is with someone else it ...
A. 9 August 2010: If you know what you've done, then you also know what you have to do. Your ex wants nothing more to do with you, and your recent actions have defintiely made that decision easier for him. However, you are still very much attached to him ... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 8 August 2010: Anon porn hater. While you're entitled to your opinion, how you express it reflects very poorly on the argument you are trying to make. You have deraled the advice that this individual was seeking by bringing up a debate that will never be solved. ... (read in full...)
What would make him stop talking to me so suddenly?
Q. Well, I met this guy at a party, he seemed like a relatively nice guy. After that, we met a few more times at a few different parties, alas I developed a crush. We then started getting close to each other, we'd see each other on a weekly basis, ...
A. 7 August 2010: You're welcome, I just wish there was a different reason that I could see. Good luck in the future!... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't watch porn. How can I know if he's lying?
Q. [OP original title] At the very start of our relationship we casually discussed porn. Something along the lines of, so what about porn? Well let's make it easy and just neither of us watches. OK sounds good. As the relationship progressed I made it a...
A. 6 August 2010: The word sheeple is a combination of sheep and people. It is meant to define the masses out there who follow the herd rather than think for themselves.... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't watch porn. How can I know if he's lying?
Q. [OP original title] At the very start of our relationship we casually discussed porn. Something along the lines of, so what about porn? Well let's make it easy and just neither of us watches. OK sounds good. As the relationship progressed I made it a...
A. 6 August 2010: Seriously OP, your "if even dirtball" comment made my day.
Honestly, you sound pretty grounded to me. Like I said before, you absolutely have the right in a relationship to set boundries and ground rules. That's part of the compromise that goe... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't watch porn. How can I know if he's lying?
Q. [OP original title] At the very start of our relationship we casually discussed porn. Something along the lines of, so what about porn? Well let's make it easy and just neither of us watches. OK sounds good. As the relationship progressed I made it a...
A. 6 August 2010: LOL, I'm glad I could help. YouWish makes a very good point though. It is always good to question what motivates people to do what they do. Often you'll find that the motivation is far less altruistic than the group is led to believe. Really, we ... (read in full...)
All I think when we have sex is I wish he was my ex.
Q. i came out of a 4 year relationship with a guy i love. i am with someone else and my ex knows. this has happened very fast. when we have sex all i can think is i wish he was my ex,i know i have made a foolish mistake. if he is with someone else it ...
A. 6 August 2010: Wait, you texted him about your new guy to make your ex jealous?!? The string of obscenities I want to throw at you right now... Quit using this poor guy, NOW! He doesn't diserve to be used in the sick game you're playing.
I'm glad your ex ... (read in full...)
Does he think I'm dirty or something?
Q. I realized this a while ago, but now I'd like someone's input on it. So fast forward, my sex buddy does oral sex or atleast did. When I met him he did and he even offered but it never happened. It was actually my first and I was a little shy. After ...
A. 6 August 2010: You know what, thinking a bit more about this I had another thought. If he does know that you're having sex with someone else, that could definitely be a major turn off from him performing oral on you. I personally don't do the whole casual sex ... (read in full...)
Does he think I'm dirty or something?
Q. I realized this a while ago, but now I'd like someone's input on it. So fast forward, my sex buddy does oral sex or atleast did. When I met him he did and he even offered but it never happened. It was actually my first and I was a little shy. After ...
A. 6 August 2010: I too was really confused by the jumbled mess in your post. Yikes. Ok, so you have two sex buddies. Or do you have more? Your comment about guys always telling you that you have a nice vagina "and stuff" makes me wonder. Are you showing it off ... (read in full...)
All I think when we have sex is I wish he was my ex.
Q. i came out of a 4 year relationship with a guy i love. i am with someone else and my ex knows. this has happened very fast. when we have sex all i can think is i wish he was my ex,i know i have made a foolish mistake. if he is with someone else it ...
A. 6 August 2010: I agree with TimmD and CaringGuy, your current BF sounds like a classic example of a rebound relationship. Please end it before he gets too attached to you and take the time you need to get over your ex. It will likely take longer than you thought ... (read in full...)
Hair
Q. This is for all you guys out there what do you like a womans hair long or short? Witch is more of a turn on? Me personally I like my hair long. :) what do you guys think? Thanks for reading ~Lucy...
A. 6 August 2010: Well, I like it long enough that there is something for me to run my fingers through, or maybe tug on a little. It all depends on the girl. Some women can pull off really short hair. Others definitely can't. If you like your hair long, then keep ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't watch porn. How can I know if he's lying?
Q. [OP original title] At the very start of our relationship we casually discussed porn. Something along the lines of, so what about porn? Well let's make it easy and just neither of us watches. OK sounds good. As the relationship progressed I made it a...
A. 6 August 2010: Well, you can never be sure. Here's the thing. Do you trust him? Has he given you any reason to doubt that he'd be telling the truth? He sounds like an honest and good guy. I can tell you that most men use porn as a masturbation need. If you ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him even though he wont wear condoms and I'm not on birth control?
Q. i've been with my bf for 1year. hes my first love and im his he's two years older than me.. we are both vigins.. and homecoming night b4 his big game.. i well lets just say i wanna have sex with him.. he gave me i ring and we are getting married ...
A. 6 August 2010: For heaven sakes don't listen to MIchaela.Weeks! The pull out method is like playing Russian roulette. There is sperm in his precum, which starts coming out right away. That can get you pregnant.... (read in full...)
I really don't understand what he is thinking or feeling!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted this the other day but didn't get any replies and more has happened since then so I thought I'd try again. So I posted a question on here a while ago, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-in-love-with-my-be...
A. 5 August 2010: Drunken hook ups are one thing, but if he was truely into you, he wouldn't be hooking up with other girls. If he's talking about other girls while you're around, then he's likely not interested. You've kind of become "one of the guys." In my ... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 5 August 2010: Ahhh, the defensive, "Well, you just don't do it for me." Yeah, he was backed into a corner and got personal. I'm glad to hear that it was just once, but sometimes that once will never go away. We often regret the things said in the heat of a ... (read in full...)
What would make him stop talking to me so suddenly?
Q. Well, I met this guy at a party, he seemed like a relatively nice guy. After that, we met a few more times at a few different parties, alas I developed a crush. We then started getting close to each other, we'd see each other on a weekly basis, ...
A. 5 August 2010: What would make him stop talking to you so suddenly?
This isn't going to be easy for you, but here it is. You were a romantic option for him. Your flirty dates were his way of keeping you on the line while he was playing the field. When he ... (read in full...)
I really don't understand what he is thinking or feeling!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted this the other day but didn't get any replies and more has happened since then so I thought I'd try again. So I posted a question on here a while ago, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-in-love-with-my-be...
A. 5 August 2010: Ok, I went back to read your original post as well. There is a ton of stuff going on here. Part of me sees potential here, and part of me sees this ending badly. I'll explain both perspectives.
The potential I see. Men don't spend time wit... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him even though he wont wear condoms and I'm not on birth control?
Q. i've been with my bf for 1year. hes my first love and im his he's two years older than me.. we are both vigins.. and homecoming night b4 his big game.. i well lets just say i wanna have sex with him.. he gave me i ring and we are getting married ...
A. 5 August 2010: clickhere nailed it with one sentence. If he won't wear a condom, then he isn't thinking about what is best for both of you. Only proceed if you're ready for parenthood.
Everyone else gave great advice too. Your fears mean you're not ready. ... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 5 August 2010: Thanks for the follow up! So the root of the problem is that you don't like the type of porn he is using. The good ol' webcam. If it makes you feel better, these girls get paid too. They charge for their shows. Now, some people will record them ... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 4 August 2010: Mia, your answers are seriously starting to cause me to crush on you a little bit. ;) Great answer!... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 4 August 2010: Most men look at porn. That's not to say it should be approved of, but there are varying degrees with how much it can influence somebody's life.
What about it bothers you?
The reason I ask is that porn bothers people for many different r... (read in full...)
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