A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i came out of a 4 year relationship with a guy i love. i am with someone else and my ex knows. this has happened very fast. when we have sex all i can think is i wish he was my ex,i know i have made a foolish mistake. if he is with someone else it will kill me. he always said if we break dont sleep with anyone unless you are sure its the end of us forever. what have i done?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 If you know what you've done, then you also know what you have to do. Your ex wants nothing more to do with you, and your recent actions have defintiely made that decision easier for him. However, you are still very much attached to him psychologically, and will not be able to have any kind of meaningful relationship until you can get over him. This will take time. Time that should be best spent alone, reflecting on the positives, the negatives, and working to put closure on your old relationship.
Why won't he see what he is letting go? He told you that. He's letting go of the girl who gave up a good thing because she was "bored" and then hopped into bead with someone else. I fail to see where you have a leg to stand on.
Get to know yourself. Give yourself plenty of time to get over this relationship. Break off your current relationship. Grow up. If you truely know what you have done, then you should know that this is the only course of action you should be considering taking right now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): dirtball,i know what i have done. no need to remind me. i am paying the price.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): There is more being placed on whether your ex is trying to control who you sleep with,when in fact this isnt the case. If my fella broke up and slept with someone i wouldnt take him back either. That is my choice. The advice you need is end it with this guy you are with. You could let your ex get used to it before trying. You may have to accept that it is now over and to be truthful you did know his policy. He seems fair and i would like to remind you that you have hurt him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): i just spoke to my ex and his very words said,you finished with me for no reason,2 days later you are with some body else,what your friends see and how i feel is the opposite. what you do is no longer anything to do with me,but i choose not to be with some one who takes her knickers off only 2 days after finishing with me,after 4 years.(if he finished with me then he would accepted it better but i finished because i thought i was bored i think he means). He has not said bad things. we were good for each other,why wont he see what he is letting go? could he be with some one? he said he wont go with any one as it wouldnt be fair. i called him a liar and he hung up on me.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 August 2010):
Wait, you texted him about your new guy to make your ex jealous?!? The string of obscenities I want to throw at you right now... Quit using this poor guy, NOW! He doesn't diserve to be used in the sick game you're playing.
I'm glad your ex isn't giving you the time of day. You are playing a manipulation game trying to hurt him, and in the process you will hurt two people (minimum). I hope you can grow up before you get into another relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Redstars14 +, writes (6 August 2010):
Honestly if you're not happy with this guy you shouldn't sleep with him, it's not fair on him if you wish it was someone else. But you broke up with your ex he has no right to stop you having sex with other men when it's over between the two of you. Spend a while without men and spend time on yourself. When you're ready to commit to another relationship do, but not until you're over your ex otherwise it won't work out and it won't be fair on whoever you date. Don't use guys as a rebound it's not fair on them and it will never work out, but don't go crawling back to your ex he doesn't sound like a nice enough guy for you if he thinks he can stop you from sleeping with other people once you're over. That's just wrong. So stay strong and do the right thing.. because no guy is worth the pain you're suffering.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 August 2010):
I agree with TimmD and CaringGuy, your current BF sounds like a classic example of a rebound relationship. Please end it before he gets too attached to you and take the time you need to get over your ex. It will likely take longer than you thought it would.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): thanks,i`m sorry,it was me who said to my ex,then my ex said he would never come back if i hurt him so he was agreeing with me. he said this in a general conversation before i finished with him. i txt him to get him mad about the new guy and he`s been calm when usually he`s a hot head. he must be with someone and why hasnt he told me? i told him. my friends saw him with his mates in a club last week and they all said he looked normal and even was polite to them. why isnt he bothered?
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Agreed CaringGuy.
It sounds like it's way too soon for you to be in a relationship with a new person. You're just using him and that is not good. You need time to be with yourself to get over your ex.
And as far as your ex saying something like "If we break up don't sleep with anybody else or it will be the end of us forever".....? That is not healthy. Breaking up IS the end of your relationship. What? Does he think he gets to breakup with you and control you afterwards? To keep you as a safety net? Do as CaringGuy says... you need to get over your ex.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 August 2010):
End it with the new guy, get over your ex. That's the two things you have to do. Your ex lost all rights when you split up. If you split up, it meant it wasn't working. And you're now kind of using this new guy as a pole to lean on. that's not fair. So stop with the new guy and spend time getting over your ex. You haven't done anything wrong, other than get involved with someone else too soon. Your ex's words were just there so you'd feel this way and try crawling back. Don't. He's not worth it, and the new guy isn't the guy for you. Spend time on your own life.
...............................
|
