A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I'm 19 years old. I've had a many boyfriends in the past and I lost my virginity about a year ago. Before i lost it I thought sex should be a very intimate, highly valued, and important part of my life. However now that I've been having sex, I realized I dont value it as much as I used to and want to. I dont have a serious boyfriend anymore but I've been dating a few guys and I've recently been having sex with two of them. I also have a long time guy friend who I occasionaly see and sometimes have sex with also. I guess i'm writing this now because I've been thinking a lot about myself recently and I'm wondering what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I feel like I've lost respect for myself and control of myself. I enjoy having sex so much that when it comes down to it I can never say no to a guy. But after having sex i usually feel very guilty and ashamed. I also feel like I can never be friends with a guy without ending up in a sexual relationship. One part of me is saying i'm just young and having fun, but another part is saying i have a serious problem and need to control myself. What should I do??!
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I think you need to do your best to stop having sex with all these guys and try to find a real BF who has a comparable sex drive. While I know it is a double standard, many men view girls who do what you are doing as sluts. That's not a reputation you want to have. Quite frankly, you could have 30 partners, but if each was during a committed relationship, that won't typically reflect as negatively on you as if you're sleeping around with 3 guys at once. Also, once that reputation gets around (which it likely has already) you will have more guys who are looking to you just for sex. Lots of users who will pressure you till you cave, because they know you always do.
Another thing to consider is that you're putting yourself at great risk for STD's. While many can be treated, there are plenty that can't.
My advice. Stop it. Do your best to satiate your appetite with masturbation and toys until you can find one guy to be with. Most guys your age are out of their minds horny, so finding someone to keep up with your drives shouldn't be too difficult. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Young has nothing to with it..it's more of a self esteem and character issue you seem to be having. There are other ways to have "fun" rather than having sex with any and everyone. I say you need to seek therapy and get down to the bottom of this...NO it's not normal behavior and can lead to many problems in the future.
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