A
male
age
30-35,
*erblueeyes
writes:Sooo Ive known this girl for 11 years now and ive always had a thing for her. Time went by and eventually she started dating my best friend. he treats her like crap and all i can do is watch. He recently cheated and i told her what happened. i also told her that i was in love with her and she told me she was in love with me too. She stayed with him... soo now we pretend nothing happened. should i let her be hurt again cause i know hes cheated more then once or should i sacrifice a friendship? please help i understand that i should just leave them alone but she is everything ive ever wanted.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): if you really feel for her, save her from him by telling what he is, but you don't fall in love with her let her fall in love with you that would be appreciated and you will find one day a good partener by God but don't try for that
A
male
reader, scottydoo  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Hey man, im in basically the same situation. I know exactly how you feel! Dont mind what everyone else told you. They do have some good points but its not as easy as replying to a question. There are a whole bunch of dynamics that cant be typed into words to truely explain your situation. Read my story when you get a chance and let me know what you think.
As for your situation, I would let the relationship run its course as well. But dont distance yourslef from her. If you truely love this girl, just keep letting her know that you're there for her when she needs a friend. Subtle hints that you still love her might push her to rethink her relationship with your friend. And if he's similar to the guy in my story, then it wont be such a bad thing if you lost him as a friend.
I came up with this quote (i think) but it helps me get through these kinds of situations...You're never too selfish when it comes to your own feelings.
All the best bro
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): What have you got to lose? A friendship with a low life loser who treats the woman your in love with like shit, if you think she deserves better & u obviously do then be the night in shining armour that she obviously needs and get her the hell out of there, for all you know he's got her feeling that she is worthless & doesn't deserve to be with someone who can make her happy!!!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 If she loved you in the way that you love her then she wouldn't be with him. If you meddle in this relationship, especially when you have an ulterior motive then you're going to lose a friend... and not necessarily gain a lover...
If it were me, I'd stay way out of it, let the relationship run its course, (which by the sounds of things won't be for very long anyways) and just worry about my own problems.
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): If she loved you she wouldn't be going out with your best friend. Simple as
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (11 August 2010):
You should of just told her everything at once, ( how many times he cheated on her) you keep going to her telling her this, she is going to think that your just trying to break them up.and she miught hate you. I think you should just walk away. If she loves you she will come back. It might hurt but its for the best. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, sillygoose +, writes (11 August 2010):
if she loves you why won't she dump him and get with you? she has to make this decision on her own to leave the relationship. maybe back off some and make her miss you a little, and she'll realize what she could have. as far as your friend goes he doesn't sound like a good person and i'm sure he's picked up on how you feel if you two are close. something similar happened with a couple of my friends. they could eventually break up, but it could take awhile depending on who long they've been together.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Do you really want to be with someone who lets themself be walked all over by their BF?
I understand your feelings, I really do. She has to be the one to get out of her unhealthy relationship. If you sell out your other friend (her BF) in the process, you can pretty much put up an obituary for that friendship.
Ask yourself:
What is she worth to me?
Is she worth losing a friend?
How good a friend is he?
Do I really love her, or is this just infatuation?
Why is she willing to pass me up for her cheater BF?
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A
female
reader, Angelripper +, writes (11 August 2010):
 First off, you don't truly know a person until you're with them. She may be 'everything you've ever wanted', but you could only be enamored by the idea of her that you have in your head.
Secondly, it is her decision who she wants to be with. It definitely sucks that he is mistreating her and has cheated on her, but if she wants to stay with him, then that's her decision. She's choosing to be with him and not with you, despite the fact that she told you she loved you, she may not ... or she may just love him more.
You can wait around for her in this mess, watch your heart get torn to pieces while she remains indecisive and he gets what he wants, and ultimately may not even get her. Or you can move on, invite the chance, and hope for something and/or someone better.
Best of luck to you,
-The Resident Metalhead
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A
female
reader, T-Marie  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Hey there,
The first thing you need to take into consideration is that she stayed with him! Also I don't think you and him are really best friends, you are in love with his girlfriend and you seem to get on alot better with hr than you do with him.
I think you need to decide what is more important to you, her or your friendship. Also you want to be careful that if you tell her about the other times he has cheated she may think (knowing you love her) that you are just trying to split them up.
Hope this helps xxx T
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