A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:can you help? i live an average life in uni, but i have a best friend and she is really cool and sweet but a bit too friendly recently. she is just my bestest friend, shes had more boyfriends and break ups than days in a year, and when she does break up, she ends up hurting and blaming herself and hating her life like an emo. recently she just broke up with [yet] another ugly hitler guy, and always comes to my crippes shoulders to cry on. it has been the longest single status shes had, 3 MONTHS, thats a record!! since then shes stayed with me to keep up her reputation, i dont mind, but shes gotten a bit too close and talking a lot about intimate stuff and looking me straight in the eye, i cant look back. i dont want to offend her but i think shes starting to give up men and hitting on women (ie: me :S) i live a very passionate life with my distant boyfriend, who im going on holiday with in a few weeks, during that time im worried she might do something we'll both regret.
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female
reader, romany  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 My takes on this is she's promiscuous because she has no self respect, the fact you respect her, and know her for her, and she feels comfortable and accepted, she probably has developed feelings for you, confused because she may have never had someone in her life that she has ever felt a heartfelt connection for, She may not know how to love a friend, as she's always got affection by having sex with someone, but I do think that she's coming onto you, I understand completely where Dirtbag is coming from, but us girls do know what it is like to be flirted with, and if your friend is acting in a way that is making you uncomfortable, then you need to let her know that your not into 'experimenting'.
I dont think you should just say it outright, but maybe when she is talking to you bout sexual stuff like she has been lately, find a story, (or make one up bout some girls from college or work or wherever) about how they explored, and how it shocked you, and how you could think of nothing worse than bla bla, be graphic if you really feel repulsed, shudder at thought, let her see that it is something you could never do, or tell her about a story you heard bout two friends getting it on and then losing friendship, bla bla.
Good luck, I'm sure it'll all be fine, but make sure you take the opportunity to talk when situation arises, before she makes a bad move.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I'd interpret it more as her doing some soul searching and looking to you for some real connection. It is highly possible that it is nothing more than her way of expressing her gratitude for your friendship and wanting to be closer friends with you. I don't think you have anything to be afraid of.
If I'm wrong, and she tries something, then you just have to stop her. Let her know that you don't like her that way and are happy with your BF. I don't see anything wrong with eye contact during communication. This is the preferred method among most women I've met. It is a way of showing that you are attentively listening more than anything. Try not to read too much into it.
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