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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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How could he care about me if he doesn't care about my feelings
Q. I'm conflicted, he says he cares about me and when we are on good terms he also tells me that he appreciates all that I do for him. However he knows after 6 years I have developed very deep feelings for him. When I express my feelings for him he ...
A. 28 March 2011: Don't expect any kind of apology, you will never get it because it's not in the guy to give it. Time will heal and it can take up to a year to rid yourself from emotional pain from someone who got under your skin. If you ever waiver read back the ... (read in full...)
My Ex is now my friend but he keeps mentioning our past sex life and I'm uncomfortable. Please help??
Q. Hi My bf broke up with me 5 months back. I was devastated for sometime and i got over him. We are good friends now. But my ex-bf keeps talking about our past sex-life with me. I told him that i am just a friend and i dont want to do anything sexual w...
A. 14 March 2011: He is being disrespectful mentioning your sex life when you are now just friends. You need to tell him straight to his face 'Stop talking about our past sex life or the friendship ends' He should get the message loud and clear. He doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in this man...should I send him a casual text?
Q. Hi there, I met a guy for the first time on new years eve (so about eight weeks ago) through mutual friends (we all went out together that night) and we got on really well - he told me lots about himself and asked me about myself, then as the nigh...
A. 2 March 2011: Aww bless you I think that is the most analysing I have read a person do over a man in a very long time....you must be driving yourself nuts!!!
Here's the thing...men don't think about this kind of thing as much as women. If you don't call, he... (read in full...)
I met a great guy, and he took me out for a date, but he seems distant now. Where do I stand?
Q. I met a guy at an inter-uni society thing and instantly liked him. This was 7 months ago. We flirted a lot and at the first social we kissed, nothing dramatic, just a peck, but still. Nothing was mentioned after that, we both were pretty drunk so I ...
A. 2 March 2011: He is treating you with disrespect by not contacting you and letting you know whats going on. It may be that he isn't that into you or maybe he is just one of these lazy guys who wants the woman to do all the chasing.If that's the case then he isn't ... (read in full...)
He is cheating on me with a woman online, but still wants to be with me and have me doing all his chores!
Q. my fiance has been online cheating for at at least a month with some woman in another country they have shared i love you and he said she is special and listens where I supposedly failed to do and he says all I ever thought of was myself, i cooked ...
A. 23 February 2011: When you think about it logically he must be lying to his internet woman. Has he told her that he is living with you and that you are practically his wife?...or has he made up some balony to keep her interested just so he can have a swift fix of his ... (read in full...)
I am gutted. Is he fobbing me off, for doubting him? Or is he angry with me? Or is it over
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to do he sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a we...
A. 23 February 2011: Oh shit!! Im so sorry to hear that, it sounded like you had a chance with him there. I agree that there isn't much you can do, relationships are like walking on broken glass at times and it's sad when they go wrong or don't work out.
I know it'... (read in full...)
Husband claims he's not gay so why is he spending so much time with this man?
Q. Is my husband gay? I have always been suspicious of his sexuality.he has really strange sex request only enjoys annal(on him) or oral sex(on him) Immediately loses erection when we have vaginal sex.Being the good wife and trying to be open minde...
A. 20 February 2011: I have a very good friend who is married to a bisexual man. She always suspected, even though he still makes love to her he told her he has had several liasons with men.One condition they have is that he never stays out all night.
He loves he... (read in full...)
Could I have gotten HIV from this? Condom broke!
Q. hello guys, im kinda freakin out right now. yesterday i went clubbing with some friends and we got really drunk. and there was this girl next to me. so i went to talk to her and we danced and everything. later on she went home with me and we had ...
A. 20 February 2011: Yes it's possible if she is a carrier. You need to get tested.... (read in full...)
How does a lover determine the loving is very successfully satisfying a woman?
Q. hello everyone. my question is mainly for females but its okay to have different point of views, i just want to know how can a lover really make sure that the girl is enjoying sex with the lover ?! how does a man determine or know that she really l...
A. 20 February 2011: A mixture of things really I think. It helps if you are both relaxed and confident with eachother. You could ask her what she likes and try things to see her reaction. A woman moaning isn't really an indication that she's having a good time. Some ... (read in full...)
I am gutted. Is he fobbing me off, for doubting him? Or is he angry with me? Or is it over
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to do he sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a we...
A. 19 February 2011: Phew!!! He still cares honey, it's plain to see. He wants to come down but maybe things are a little difficult. It sounds like he has quite a few obligations and nothing in that text he sent was unreasonable. I wonder if you ever go to see him? Is ... (read in full...)
I am gutted. Is he fobbing me off, for doubting him? Or is he angry with me? Or is it over
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to do he sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a we...
A. 19 February 2011: He is kinda fobbing you off but it may not be the end of things. It sounds like he needs some space to work out the problem for himself.
I know you will be itching to contact him, but you must leave it alone for a while until he makes contact ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating, he even came home with wedding ring in his pocket
Q. OK,,, Now i have a different ?... My husband has done things that lead me to believe he has cheated..He has gone out supposedly with a friend..wont come home and wont answer his phone. I have called the friend that he is with or supposed to be with ...
A. 19 February 2011: I'd think he was cheating too...it sure sounds like it.... (read in full...)
I think I have fallen and don't want to go any deeper
Q. I met a man on a website...I wasn't expecting much from it but now my heart is in it. We have been chatting on and off for about 6 weeks now. He does text me as well but lately it has gotten less. It was supposed to be fun, but I got a bit shy when ...
A. 19 February 2011: It's actually really hard to tell who this guy is or what he wants. You haven't said when he asked you to go visit him, Was it before or after you saw eachother on webcam? When you said you got shy on the cam, was it because he wanted to get ... (read in full...)
What is it with guys and texting?!
Q. Hi fellow aunts and uncles :) I was just hoping you could offer me some advice... What is it about guys and texting!? So there's this guy I saw the other day for drinks with friends, about the fourth time we've met (we've kissed previous...
A. 11 February 2011: Ok I will indulge you!!
It's impossible to say why he hasn't replied...could be absolutely anything and the only thing you can do is send one more upbeat and positive message if you want to try to give things a go. Don't mention about the previous... (read in full...)
How can a guy go from being so interested to completely avoiding me?
Q. Can anyone help me figure out this confusing behaviour please? I've known this guy as friends for about 2 years. A few weeks ago a friend of mine let him know that I was interested in him as more than friends. Subsequently he told me he felt the s...
A. 11 February 2011: He has taken what you said about not going for a walk, the wrong way. He has done the classic 180 turn on you.
He sounds very very insecure. You should make another attempt to make it clear that you would like to give things a go with him (men ten... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend randomly deleted me from facebook!
Q. Okay, this is weird and very confusing. Im in a LDR with a guy I met new years eve and who works away - 300 miles north - but we keep in touch on facebook. I really, really like him and the time weve spent together has been amazing. Las...
A. 11 February 2011: It sounds as if he has issues of trust and maybe he's seen those flirty comments and blown it all out of proportion. Men don't handle competetion very well in matters of love...it's a pride thing and he won't want to be made a fool of (not that you ... (read in full...)
I'm dating 4 women at the same time and juggling a job that requires travel. WHY?
Q. I find myself in a very strange position, some envy it, some think wtf - no way, others think how stupid are you. I work in a job that ive done for 20 or more years, now at a stage where bar the pennies i would walk away and have tried to do so o...
A. 11 February 2011: The women all know about eachother and they are ok with it?
Maybe you feel that none of the relationships is special or meaningfull because it's all a bit casual. Your like a petrol tanker, going round filling up these women...whichever way you ... (read in full...)
Does my ex want me back???
Q. Hi everyone. Please, can you give me your views on this. My ex who I love every much, came over to see me last week. He was very loving and attentive. He works nights, and said that he cannot see me in the evenings, but can see me during ...
A. 9 February 2011: Good girl, be strong and don't let anyone treat you badly xxx... (read in full...)
Is this woman really pregnant, or is she trying to blackmail me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had an affair with a married woman. She is 40+ and I’m 20+. I’m single. After we broke up, I didn't see her for a few weeks. One day, we had dinner together. After dinner, she told me she is pregnant now. It was a terrible shock....
A. 9 February 2011: Absolutely the right decision. If you contacted her for sex or anything else now you would be a completely disgusting and evil person.
Leave her alone, no contact, forget she exists...
Also book yourself in for some sex education classe... (read in full...)
Is this woman really pregnant, or is she trying to blackmail me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had an affair with a married woman. She is 40+ and I’m 20+. I’m single. After we broke up, I didn't see her for a few weeks. One day, we had dinner together. After dinner, she told me she is pregnant now. It was a terrible shock....
A. 9 February 2011: Nobody knows if she is pregnant apart from her. It may or may not be yours but thats a 'dead in the water' point.
She is angry at you for whatever reason amd this is her way of giving you some of the pain she probably felt when you broke it off w... (read in full...)
Does my ex want me back???
Q. Hi everyone. Please, can you give me your views on this. My ex who I love every much, came over to see me last week. He was very loving and attentive. He works nights, and said that he cannot see me in the evenings, but can see me during ...
A. 9 February 2011: When he came to see you and was all loving and attentive, I wondered if you had sex with him? If you did and he has now gone off the boil, he may have come back just for an ego boost.
I know that sounds harsh, but it doesn't make sense that he ... (read in full...)
My LDR blocks me and unblocks me at random
Q. Why does she block me from calling her and then some thimes she unblocks me? Like yesterday I tryed to call her and it rang then I texed her by the end of the night saying. Dont forget to block my phone number. Then she texed back saying "Who is ...
A. 8 February 2011: Playing games!!!...dump her and move on.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my marriage?... I love him but I hate him at the same time.
Q. I dont know if i should stay with my husband. We have been together for 6 years..married 4. He has been pretty horrible to me through our relationship. Calling me names, telling me i dont do anything, and controlling. Things got really out of ha...
A. 8 February 2011: It's for him to change his bad behaviour, not for you to accept his bad behaviour, he needs to understand this completely or it's game over!
You can still see the nasty traits because he has no intention of changing. He will say what he thinks y... (read in full...)
Do you think I should wait a few more days or ditch his number now?
Q. Im so confused... Last night I was at a club and met this really terrific man. He was attentive and paid me loads of compliments, even talked to me at the bar instead of hanging with his friends. He asked for my number and made me text him right t...
A. 8 February 2011: You made the mistake of calling him...now you seem to be desperate so I doubt you will hear from him again. Don't make anymore contact, leave the ball in his court and if he hasn't called within a week...he probably won't.
Lots of guys get carr... (read in full...)
Was he not attracted to me? Was it nerves?
Q. Hi ladies I had my first date with a guy I met a few weeks ago. He invited me for dinner at his house as he wanted to cook for me. We had a lovely evening together and he was very polite and didn't make any moves. We had a little kiss and cuddle o...
A. 7 February 2011: Could have been any of those reasons to be honest, it's hard to say why it happened. If he asks you for another date then assume he is prepared to give things a go with you. If you don't hear from him, assume he is no longer interested and move on.... (read in full...)
I am going to confront him... right?
Q. I have been seeing this man since Nov and I have been thinking for a while now he is a player and that things are not adding up. I only seem him on the weekdays after 8 pm. We never go out on any dates. We sit at his place and watch movies etc. ...
A. 7 February 2011: Did he like you?...After the way he has treated you, what do you think?
You are a BUG (a Back UP Girlfriend)a warm body to hang with so he doesn't have to be alone on nights he's not seeing another woman. I am surprised he doesn't keep you in t... (read in full...)
I can't get over my ex! Is it because I wasted some of my best years with him?
Q. almost 2 years since i broke up with my ex. were together 8.5 years. i broke up with him 6 to 10 times per year during our last 3 years. dramatic time with his ex wife (over 5 years before we met) an is dramatic kids. i feel better that i don't ...
A. 7 February 2011: It's a tough one that's for sure, getting over someone that you dated for so long and loved, even if there were problems.
Women get much more emotionally involved and they count the years as a kind of investment...when it doesn't pay off for all ... (read in full...)
How could he care about me if he doesn't care about my feelings
Q. I'm conflicted, he says he cares about me and when we are on good terms he also tells me that he appreciates all that I do for him. However he knows after 6 years I have developed very deep feelings for him. When I express my feelings for him he ...
A. 7 February 2011: Oh my goodness from the way you describe him, he sounds like a complete dog. You may not believe this, but you do have the power in you to improve your self esteem dramatically andbecome more confident and happy with yourself as an individual. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell someone I love him, when he's getting married in two months?
Q. Hi, I'm kinda at the end of my tether with something... how can I tell someone I love him, when he's getting married in two months? Or should I? But what can I do? Nothing has happened between us. I'm trying so hard to keep things platonic. I real...
A. 5 February 2011: Let me give you one bit of advice to start, which I hope you will take...RUN!!! Run away from this guy as fast as you can!! No good can come of it!
The guy is getting married, he isn't romantically interested in you, he's romantically interest... (read in full...)
Separated from husband, I don't feel comfortable with my married friends
Q. Why I am feeling like this? Is it normal? I am married but we are separated right now. Since that, I don't really feel confortable with my married friends. I am so jealous to see them so happy together, kissing each other in front of me...etc. I ...
A. 5 February 2011: I don't know anyone who's divorced or single who hangs with married couples. When I got divorced, married friends were the first ones to peel off (they rejected me, it was like they were scared that my divorce might rub off on them).
Don't... (read in full...)
How could he care about me if he doesn't care about my feelings
Q. I'm conflicted, he says he cares about me and when we are on good terms he also tells me that he appreciates all that I do for him. However he knows after 6 years I have developed very deep feelings for him. When I express my feelings for him he ...
A. 5 February 2011: 'If he doesn't care about my feelings then how could he care about me'
The truth is he doesn't care about you or your feelings. He only cares about himself and the fact that if you left, he wouldn't have you around to have sex with.
To him,... (read in full...)
What dating advice do you have for single women 50+ & over?
Q. I will be 52 years old my next birthday. My life has been filled with a string of disappointing relationships. After a 12 year relationship, my first love dumped me, married someone else, divorced them and then returned and wanted to marry me. Of ...
A. 5 February 2011: I agree with you that it seems easier for men to move on and form new relationships much quicker than women. I think it's because a larger proportion of women give out needy signals that men can latch onto. Men don't give out these signals so it can ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be living a double life!
Q. Should I be concerned that my husband of 2 months has registered himself with some site that are "questionable" in my opinion for a married man. This was done behind my back, but I have found the evidence because he left his computer on one day and ...
A. 3 February 2011: If anything is going on behind your back, you firstly need to prepare yourself for the truth...it could be something you work through or it could be the end of your marriage.
You seem to have a fair amount of evidence that something is not quit... (read in full...)
He lies about everything.....how do I find the strength to move on?
Q. I have known my partner for two and a half years and living at his home for the last year. He has a apartment in Florida and told me that a friend and her two daughters needed a place to live and moved her in. He came back to the u.k and basically ...
A. 1 February 2011: My heart totally goes out to you and I know how that pain and distress feels. He is a cheat and a liar...he's never going to change and he should consider himself blessed that someone loves him at all.
I went through a similar thing. With the guy ... (read in full...)
Distant Boyfriend
Q. I am 29 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for 2 years. We have been fighting a lot lately about anything and have both decided that we want to work on things. However, he has not been putting in the effort. I havent seen him in over a ...
A. 30 January 2011: Men generally are in a state of confusion over relationships if they don't feel things are right or secure. His behaviour is not uncommon and it's a perfect smoke screen to keep you reeling until he figures out what he wants. Sadly a lot of men ... (read in full...)
Should I contact her or should I let a sleeping dog lie.
Q. This is my story. About 16-17 years ago I meet a gal a terrific gal that was getting a divorce because he cheated on her. We shall call her Jill. At the same time strange as it may sound I was seeing a married gal. We shall call her Rose. Well, ...
A. 28 January 2011: Ok I have a couple questions?
Firstly, what reason are you sending the letter?
Is it to say sorry so you can have closure? or is it to test the water to see if there is still a chance with her?
You seem like a genuine man but you also... (read in full...)
I chased a loser and lost a winner...
Q. Hi everybody I came here to vent and maybe someone can help me out. I'm lost and sad. I spent the past 4 and half years chasing after a man who come to find out had a fiancee. I found that out half way through but didn't leave him since he kept ...
A. 28 January 2011: People fear being alone, being without a prtner, being single. They move from one partner to another to staunch the flow of pain and loneliness when things go wrong because they cannot bear to just be...
I think this is what has happened to you. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants a quick divorce but then why does he call me every day and talk?
Q. my husband left me almost a month ago said he didnt love me and that he wanted to be friends after the divorce and then maybe more, i dont know about all of that but he acts as if he doesnt know if he is sure of himself or if he isnt,my mom and ...
A. 27 January 2011: Chocoholic forever hit the nail on the head!!! Brilliant answer!!
I agree. He is weak and insecure and he is holding onto you, whilst not wanting you, until someone better comes along.
If I had to guess, I'd say he was having a fling with someo... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't want to know me anymore despite everything I did for him!
Q. my good friend has suddenly decided he doesnt want to know me. i helped him with everything last year with his homelife and work exams. now hes joined a new team hes gone distant and boast how great it is and how much work he gets-a lot different to ...
A. 27 January 2011: Do I think he will regret treating you like this?...probably not. He has used you to get himself sorted out. If he sees you as just a friend, then he can blow you out easily if he wants.
The best you can do is front him. Ask his why he is treating... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 years got a random chick pregnant!
Q. My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. and In October before halloween we had broke up. For a while he made me believe that he wanted to be single and have fun with his friends, but comes to find out he got someone at his work that he works ...
A. 27 January 2011: I think he lied to you too and I also thing he has no idea what the heck he is doing.
I really do feel for you, it must be a complete shock that things changed so quickly. Despite how much you love him, he has messed up big time and he has a lo... (read in full...)
I dumped him for another man but I am so hurt he slept with another girl while we were apart! How do I get over this?
Q. so... not long ago i had a boyfriend(let's call him alex). we had been together for like 1 year and 10 months. things started to get really routinaire and i asked him for a break. he said yes but then i met this other guy (daniel) and we started ...
A. 26 January 2011: It bothers you so much because you messed it all up BIG TIME. You need to feel bothered because it's a sure fire way that you will learn and not make the same mistake again.
You need to suck it up, deal with it yourself and get over it.... (read in full...)
I'm so attached to him, but was he trying to break communication? But then implied 'friends' only ?
Q. A guy and I were communicating on Skype as friends b/c we are Long distance. We've known each other for 5 years now since we met in person. We used to email before then we turned to Skype and he erased me from his contacts so I thought he cut-ted me ...
A. 25 January 2011: Lord the arrogance of men huh!! Implying you could still be in touch with him, even though he lied to you...what a nerve!!
Dry your tears darling, it's his loss and now you can move onto better things xxx... (read in full...)
I'm so attached to him, but was he trying to break communication? But then implied 'friends' only ?
Q. A guy and I were communicating on Skype as friends b/c we are Long distance. We've known each other for 5 years now since we met in person. We used to email before then we turned to Skype and he erased me from his contacts so I thought he cut-ted me ...
A. 2 January 2011: He is giving you confused messages because he is trying to break off from you gently without hurting you and feeling guilty himself.
Skype requires one-t-one and time, e mail requires less time and he doesn't have to reply straight away. He is mo... (read in full...)
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