A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why I am feeling like this? Is it normal?I am married but we are separated right now.Since that, I don't really feel confortable with my married friends. I am so jealous to see them so happy together, kissing each other in front of me...etc.I could't deal with that anymore, so I decide avoid all of them. I am going out with my single friends and that makes me feel good and confortable in this time of my life. The thing is I have a very good friend of me, she is coming to my city soon and she seems too happy to meet me but I am no happy to see her and her husband telling me about their plans and the new thing that they are trying to have a baby ..everytime that I talk with her, she says how much they love each other and how her husband take care about everything and that is drive me crazy!I don't know what to do because I feel that I can't say: I am sorry I am busy and I can not meet your guys...I am feeling very unconfortable with all my married friends that's the true, I don't like to go out whit them, see them with kisses and hugs , makes me feel so sad and mad at the same time. I am trying to avoid every time that but with this friend I don't know what to do.I would like to be happy for all of them but I am not, something about couples doesn 't makes me feel happy now.I do really need help. Any adivice?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 I don't know anyone who's divorced or single who hangs with married couples. When I got divorced, married friends were the first ones to peel off (they rejected me, it was like they were scared that my divorce might rub off on them).
Don't feel bad. As for your friend who's visiting, why don't you arrange to meet her for a quick lunch and just tolerate your sad feelings and suck it up for a couple hours.
You don't have to be happy for other people, they are doing ok it seems, but I bet you will be the first one they come running to if their own relationships get into trouble.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, you are right..well..they now we are separated and they now I am having a hard time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Do your friends know you're separated? If so, they're being a little insensitive. But you also can't blame them for being happy.
You obviously have a lot of anger about the separation, you need to explain to your friends that you're having a hard time seeing them happy, but try to avoid making them feel guilty. Tell them you need support, that's what friends are for. At least if they understand where you're coming from they can be more sensitive to the situation.
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