A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is my husband gay?I have always been suspicious of his sexuality.he has really strange sex request only enjoys annal(on him) or oral sex(on him) Immediately loses erection when we have vaginal sex.Being the good wife and trying to be open minded, I went along with his requests until he crafted a two way penis for me to wear so I could do him like a man. I was so shocked by this, I got out of bed and threw up. Since then he's toned his requests down, along with his inerest in sex except oral sex.Recently he has developed a "relationship" with a guy that he works out of town with. They began working out of town 4 nites a week. They were in the same room and traveled in the same vechile. They literally are together 24 hours a day. Once they come in for the weekend, they call each other constantly. They have even gone so far as to arrange sleep overs on nights they aren't scheduled into a hotel.My husband says their behavior is normal and he's not gay. He has three other siblings that are openily gayHe denied that they were gay as well until just the last two years. He's very homaphobic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone who answered my question! Now begin the ugly process of divorce and denial quess who is going to end up penniless in this mess
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Your all right here, but I forgot to add one thing... you can believe something if you keep telling yourself its true. If you over think things, the truth gets warped and you can't see it anymore. Obviously, the proof is undeniable, but take that idea with a grain of salt.
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female
reader, Auntie5 +, writes (21 February 2011):
If he's been borrowing money against your house, talk to a lawyer asap to find out what your legal rights are regarding his financial irresponsibility. Depending on the laws in your state, there should be something that you can do to preserve your share of your joint assets (and prevent him from borrowing against them) and to be considered an innocent spouse for any debt he's run up without your knowledge (and to preserve your credit rating). It's his debt, he should be the one to take a second job to pay it off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who answerwd my question. I guess I hoped to hear something else. You have pretty much comfirmed what I already knew.I have confronted him about being gay. He is in strict denial.He has started erasing his phone history so I that I won't know who called.He doesn't get upset when I tell him I suspect he's gay.He just laughes it off. I just found out he's been borrowing money(thousands) against our home and owes another fifteen hundred on his credit card.We don't have anything to show for it. He says he spent it on bills. We don't have that many bills. I pay 1/2 and he makes more money than I do. This isn't the first time he done this and I have had to get another job just to get caught up again.I don't know where the money goes. He is very vague. I can't believe how stupid I am. Did I happen to mention we have been married for 30 years. If my situation is even slightly similar to yours, get out for your sake. I have wasted most of my life when I could have had a real love. It really hurts to realize that I have been such an idiot. And worse let it go on for so long because I just couldnt believe it.Sorry I didnt mean to unload all this on you guys. thanks for the answers
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reader, skirting the issues +, writes (20 February 2011):
 You're right he is gay. What is worse he is using you. I am a married cross dresser. My wife and I engage in her penetrating my anus. We sometimes use the device that you said made you sick. The thing is you tried to make it work, he has not. He is right about one thing, his relationship with the guy is normal, for lovers. Grown men don't arrange sleep overs. Auntie Em hit it on the head. You have to decide on where you want to be. If you choose him yours will be a life of despair. Get away. Have an affair. Get a good lawyer. Feel free to contact me. Be good. Be safe
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): cmon use ur gut... the guys gay, im sorry, but he is. if hes doin that stuff than hes got a bf lol
but in all seriousness, instead of asking, TELL him you know hes gay. either hell still rebel, or cave in. If he rebels, put your relationship on the line. That will tell you his true intentions.
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reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 I have a very good friend who is married to a bisexual man. She always suspected, even though he still makes love to her he told her he has had several liasons with men.One condition they have is that he never stays out all night.
He loves her completely and she loves him so they decided to remain married (they have two children).The difference here is that he is not in denial, not about his sexuality and not about loving her...it's just the way it is. He has told her that if she ever wanted to date another man that he would feel upset but that he would understand. He always tells her that he couldn't bear to live without her and that he doesn't have any desire to live with a man!
...of course she is not dumb and knows that could change at any time. The thing is about these two people, they were made for eachother. It's just a odd twist of fate that other men come into the equation.
My friend has chosen to accept the lifestyle (millions couldn't)
Your husband is gay, you know it, he knows it and most likely everyone else suspects. You need to decide if you can live the lifestyle or go it alone. Maybe if he were 'out' you could establish where you stand, because right now, he is cheating and going behind your back.
I feel for you, but I also know if there is a lot of love and respect, these kinds of relationships can survive.
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reader, askmeanything2  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Hi i would say he is defernetly gay ,he only likes anal ,and wants to be penertrated ,hi may not want to admit to it or not comfortable with his sexuality or doesnt want his mates or family finding out ,but he is in a round about way telling you he is gay by his behavoure .
I know this because im gay and im still married to my wife the only diferance is i told my wife 3 years ago because i belive in being honest and open to her.
you will have to get him alone and have a good talk to him you deserve to know ,I dont know how you feel towards gays but let him know how you feel and he may just feel he needs to open up to you.
Good luck and i wish you the best .
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