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... Send *ISAG a private message | | | *ISAG's profile:Hi I'm 34 years old and so much wiser, richer, happier and more successful than I could ever have imagined 5 years ago! And trust me I thought I knew it all then at 29yrs ! I have had several long loving relationships since I was 17 years old and one bad relationship. My last relationship lasted 6 years, we are still friends now and this relationship was a friendship for 2 years before it turned to romance. I highly recommend getting to know someone before you get sexual with them, unless you're just after sex that is. I am not yet married but I have been asked a few times, I was just too young back then, (I was 23 when last asked). You think you know what you want at this age but you are always growing, maturing and realising stuff! I am so glad I didn't accept and because I didn't my 2 1/2 year relationship ended, it just wasn't quite right in my heart. I live in the UK, I own two houses, I work hard, earn good money, have lots of friends and I drive a factory tuned Lotus Elise (I love cars). I'm lucky that I've had a very good start in life in that I come from a good supportive loving family, never a spoilt child and not from a rich background either. I'm very interested in psychology and have read lots about human behaviour. I have read numerous relationship self help books which are good at keeping you focused if you do get dumped! Getting dumped is no fun at all, even if he's not the greatest guy in the whole, it still hurts and you wonder why the hell ? I've only been dumped a couple of times so I have faith in how I conduct myself generally. Getting dumped does knock your confidence and self esteem, but this is when you keep listening to that positive voice in your head & ignore the negative one, (if you don't have a positive one, get one, you can learn positive thinking there are books about it) also your friends/family are there to comfort you and believe me usually you meet someone else next and you look back and wonder why the hell you were bothered about him! I am currently single but going on dates with men on a regular basis through a dating site. I joined one because of my working patterns being unsocialable. I do still go out most weekends pubbing & clubbing & live bands/festivals, but I tend to get chatted up by men who are just too young for me really (i.e 18-25). I do look young for my age which is a good thing and probably why ! I do think an age gap of plus 10 years is usually unsuitable. I have travelled and worked abroad in the past and I also highly recommend this, it builds character and there is so much in the world to get out and see, the more you see the more you want to travel. There is so much to life, and I know that I am just like most people, in that I am looking to meet someone to share life with. Not just anybody though, as you get older and you grow in confidence and learn more about yourself, then you are then in a much better position to make balanced judgements on people and decide what and who is really "right" for you. I am still learning to be completely comfortable out of a relationship, as I have been in them almost constantly since 17. I have learnt a great deal. I hope that I will find the time to answer as many questions as I can. I stumbled upon this site looking for an answer to a situation I am currently involved in with an ex boyfriend. I would guess from what I've read here already that this site is predominately a younger age group, but if I can put anyone's mind at rest in matters of love, life, friends and career then I am more than happy to offer my honest opinion - sometimes you won't like what I have to say and you might think differently, as with life you sometimes hear good advice but you don't act on it, later on you often realise that you should've taken the advice - that's life - sometimes you have to learn the hard way. A recent quote I read said something like "a clever person asks for advice, a wise person acts on advice". I look forward to helping anyone, especially anyone who has spent the time to read my blog !!! Lisa xxx |
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Advice please on oral sex.
Q. what is oral sex, how is it done.can someone get pregnant after oral sex or get infected with hiv...
A. 25 July 2007: Oral sex is mouth to genital stimulation. You can't get pregnant from oral sex, but there is a chance you can contract hiv from oral sex.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me sexually... could it be my weight?
Q. my husband is 35 years old im 50. how can i get him to want me sexually? im 5"3 and weigh 190 lbs. could it be my weight?...
A. 25 July 2007: Could be, could be lots of other things, could be your attitude, could be work pressures, children pressures, just things getting in the way ! In all honesty it sounds like you need to shake things up a bit or a lot ?!
Things have prob. just bec... (read in full...)
How can you tell if he's a virgin?
Q. how can you tell if a guy is a virgin...
A. 25 July 2007: You can't really tell. In my experience a virgin would be a little nervous and not really sure about what he's doing... lots of fumbling around, if that makes sense !... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Moderators needed!
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING -- many moderators drop out after just a couple of weeks so if you're not committed please don't apply! ...
A. 25 July 2007: I would be more than happy to be a moderator, I couldn't promise logging on each and every day like some might, but I would commit to every couple of days on a regular basis. So if you feel I could help fill in the gaps as a "temp" I would love to! ... (read in full...)
Do people just come out with spontaneous compliments sometimes?
Q. Hi all, this is just something that bothered me while my girlfriend and I were together, and kind of still does. (Very quickly: We were together for 2 years, separated by 200+ miles, broke up 3 weeks ago) Anyway, we'd be on the phone sometimes,...
A. 19 July 2007: I feel and am exactly like you are saying ! I love giving people compliments of the top of my head!
It is PERFECTLY POSSIBLE and going on all the time !
I remember the lovely compliments I have had in my time - they stay with you forever... (read in full...)
How can I win him back and keep him intrested?
Q. I met a guy my age and fell deeply in love with him, but have driven him away at the same time which has left me heartbroken, I hate to think of life without him and need him back, how can I win him back and keep him intrested?...
A. 19 July 2007: Keep it as friends ONLY then, NOT "friends with benefits". That is being USED (when sex is involved as friends). Then you'll find out in time. Don't get your hopes up and then you won't be disappointed.... on the other foot, you may be very ... (read in full...)
Your opinions please, what is going on with this woman?
Q. I met a beautiful woman, last August. She was the proud mother of two beautiful girls. I had been a player all my life, and have 5 kids of my own. I really didn't think she was very serious about a longterm relationship with me. She would ask ...
A. 19 July 2007: Sounds like a mess to me. "Comparing notes" with ex's... hmmm sounds insecure.
Lying from the outstart - a no win situation, people always find the truth out in the end.
Sounds to me like she needs to know how you feel and where she stands... (read in full...)
How can I win him back and keep him intrested?
Q. I met a guy my age and fell deeply in love with him, but have driven him away at the same time which has left me heartbroken, I hate to think of life without him and need him back, how can I win him back and keep him intrested?...
A. 19 July 2007: No one wins anyone back I'm afraid. He's lost interest already - too late to shut the stable door once the horse has bolted!
Don't waste your time, move on as hard as that is you must !... (read in full...)
I just don't believe him because why would he give this chick his telephone number and speak to her 3 times on the phone?
Q. Hi, I'm 23 and have been with my fiance for 2 years in the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me 2 times and just last week I found out he met some girl in San Francisco when he was away on business. He swears up and down that they just ...
A. 19 July 2007: You might not want to trust your gut instincts - but they are there for a reason. You say you don't trust him - that feeling is there for a reason also.
He cheated on you at the start, he knows he can get away with it with you, so what's to stop ... (read in full...)
I think I love him but he can't seem to put me first; is he a player?
Q. Hi, I'm 15 years old and I went out with this 16-year-old guy last year for about 3 months. We then broke up because he was always busy working and with school and we barely saw each other. We didn't see or speak to each other for almost 7 mont...
A. 19 July 2007: Listen to your friends, they are on your side. He sounds like a player to me and believe me, men put you first always when they are interested. WHen they are interested, they are the ones doing all the phoning, texting, calling round, thinking up ... (read in full...)
How can I feel more confortable talking with my boyfriend about stuff
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and I still feel a little nervous to talk to him about some stuff, what can I do to feel more comfortable with him?...
A. 13 July 2007: What sort of stuff are you nervous about talking about ? You must know him pretty well by now ? I'd say just be yourself and say what you think.
That's what being confident is all about - being able to say what you think and not worry about pe... (read in full...)
What should I do? Does he really just want to be friends again?
Q. My ex and I were best friends. We started dating in high school. Recently we were together for about four years, but my ex broke up with me to marry one of his ex-girlfriends. They have a baby on the way. However, my ex calls me after five months ...
A. 13 July 2007: I have an ex who has recently had a baby (3 mths). Him and I started out as good friends 11 yrs ago. I got involved sexually with him after 2 yrs of knowing him. I saw him for 6 yrs/lived with for 2yrs and have been split 3/4 yrs. We are still ... (read in full...)
I'm on my period and a guy dry humped me, he didnt have any clothes on but I had a thong, and pyjama pants... Is there any way I could be pregnant?
Q. Okay, I'm on my period and a guy dry humped me, he didnt have any clothes on but I had a thong, and pyjama pants... Is there any way I could be pregnant?...
A. 13 July 2007: Dry humping - does that mean with clothes on ?! I guess it does and in that case ABSOLUTELY NOT ! Women can usually only get pregnant about 3-4 days a month anyway and that needs full penetration, fully naked, wet humping, pants off !!!!
Sperm... (read in full...)
I didn't used to like him but since my friend started to like him then I like him too.
Q. help help help!!! my boyfriend doesn't like me talking to his mates especially this one paticular mate. I tell my boyfriend over and over again I do not find him actractive which was true, then an old mate of mine started seeing him. The thing is I ...
A. 13 July 2007: Human nature is strange. I have read in psychology books (touching on evolution in particular) that if other females express attractiveness to a male, he becomes more attractive to other females just because everyone else seems to like him. Since ... (read in full...)
I have some still unresolved questions about why my girlfriend broke up with me. How can I get her to discuss it?
Q. My Long distance girlfriend of two years broke up with me just over 2 weeks ago completely out of the blue. A few days later, she went on holiday to Spain with all her friends for fun, sun, booze, and perhapps (I still hope not) A holiday romance. ...
A. 13 July 2007: Truth is that people are cowards when it comes to telling people the real reasons they're just not interested anymore. Or maybe you could say people just dont want to hurt others feelings and it is sometimes best to be left wondering. I think we ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to other girls. Does that mean I am not comitted to my girl?
Q. I am a 26 year old male. I have been with my girlfriend (who is the same age) for two years now, we rent a place together and it has got to the stage where we are looking to buy somewhere. Obviously this means more commitment. I am worried becau...
A. 13 July 2007: Sounds to me that you may not be quite ready for committment. Grass is always greener BUT very different. I think you're at an age where you know yourself, but also wonder if there's something better out there for you !? Depends how many ... (read in full...)
I love my guy but when we are away from each other over summer break I feel its ok to have sex with other guys.
Q. ok so been with my man for almost 3yrs and we have gone our seperate ways on holiday for the summer i am completely in love with him and would never wanna lose him but wen ppl go away im a believer in the theory that different rules apply!i met a ...
A. 13 July 2007: As long as this drunken fun is "just a one off" and it really did make you realise what a good thing you have with your b/f then I think one time is ok. If you feel tempted again whilst he's away, I'd say you're not in love. When I've been in love ... (read in full...)
I really like him and was going to tell him when we all meet up this Friday but he's asked someone else out, what do I do now?
Q. Basically I have this friend who I flirt with lots and he does it back to me. I realy liked him and was planning on telling him this Friday when we are meeting up. However when I logged on to MSN I have found that he is going out with another girl ...
A. 13 July 2007: First of all people flirt partly for ego boost, partly to show proper interest in others. You're NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. It's def. just lust I would guess from what you say. You "thinking you love him" is exactly that "thinking".
Tell your clo... (read in full...)
She broke up with me just before summer break and I miss her terribly
Q. Hey all, I was with my ex for about 3 months but have known her since the start of uni (we have now both just graduated). She broke up with me before the summer holidays out of the blue, its been almost 3 weeks since the day she left and I still mi...
A. 13 July 2007: Each and every human being on this earth is afraid of being alone - fact! Time is the only thing that will dilute your feelings of hurt. You are right that you should go out, meet new girls, occupy yourself, find distractions. But in early stages ... (read in full...)
I need some new flirting ideas
Q. There's this one guy in particular who I like and I try to flirt with him the best way I know how, eye contact, touching, making him laugh and just generally trying to be a good friend. He responds well to it all and even flirts back, but I'm tired ...
A. 13 July 2007: There is a rather good conversation topic you can casually slip in anytime - (I heard it recently on the radio) It can determine whether this flirting back is innocent playfulness or maybe a deeper desire. You have to watch closely for the reaction ... (read in full...)
We talk, we cuddle, we have sex. But he says we are just friends!
Q. I met this guy online. We met, had a couple of dates then he said it wouldn't work. A few weeks later he contacted me again to see how I was and to apologize for hurting me. We now get together and see each other. He says we are just friends and ...
A. 13 July 2007: He has clearly stated his intentions - "just friends" (with added benefits by the sounds of things)! He says "dont get attached" - he is being honest and knows that there is obviously no future in his mind with you. He is just after sex/affection ... (read in full...)
We've been together for 10 years and he's cheated on me but I want him back!
Q. I have lived with my fiance for 10 years, we have child together. I recently caught him cheating- his girlfriend is pregnant. He stays at her house with her family and her daughter he took our son with him, but he comes home every day to get ...
A. 16 March 2007: Once a cheater always a cheater in my book ! Sounds like you are being used, I am sorry to say! Stop paying for everything, you are suffering I know, but you deserve better than this and you know it. That's why you're asking for advice. He should ... (read in full...)
I am the first girl he has ever cared and loved and i know he is learning but he is a bit of a phycho! I just need to sort his dark side.
Q. I have been with my bf for 7 months now we have a very secure relationship. I see him every weekend as we live so far away i am very surprised that it has worked so well really but we make time for each other and chat, text and im all the time. I ...
A. 16 March 2007: I dont think you two are in love at all. Sorry to say, but anyone who turns nasty on you is just that NASTY. Why would anyone who loves you be nasty to you ??? Get real and never deal with anyone who shows any sort of dark side ! You're just ... (read in full...)
What should I do? The last thing I ever want to do is be untrue or hurt my wife.
Q. I have been with married for 4 years and together for 8 years. I love my wife, but she can be very selfish and self centered. I have a female friend at work that is on the verge of a divorce. I have been her shoulder to lean on, because she...
A. 16 March 2007: Keep the relationship as it is for the time being. You are obviously thinking that there is maybe some unsurfaced feelings going on. Is this maybe because you feel taken for granted at home ? You need to have a long hard think about how you are ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time and energy giving my love to someone who will never return it the way I want?
Q. I have known "my boy" for 20+ years. We grew up together, our parents were friends, etc. I moved away for 13 years, and when I came back I fell for him, as he did for me. He is married and has three children, but only stays in the relationsh...
A. 16 March 2007: Difficult question, in a nutshell I would say be open to him, but at the same time get on with meeting other men who dont have the complications of children with another woman. Ideally do you really want to be step mum? Or would you rather have ... (read in full...)
This guy I saw makes my heart race! Should I make the first move?
Q. Hi, im a 27 year old female, n i need some help here. I saw this guy in town last year, lets just say he made me stop in my tracks. i was involved in 5 year long distance relationship (a really bad one) but i managed to get out of it. anyway, there ...
A. 13 February 2007: When you next bump into him, say these exact words or something along these lines "oh my god do you know what, for some strange reason I had a dream about you and me". Watch for his reaction, it will be one of two reactions. A). he'll say "oh ... (read in full...)
Any 'handjob' techniques you can share with me?
Q. hey guys I've been with my boyfriend about 2 monthes and when he fingers me, it turns me on and i really really like it, but when I try to give him a handjob, sometimes hes shivers and goes Oh and stuff, but it's very hit and miss. can I ask how ...
A. 13 February 2007: Not sure, but maybe the "oh's" are a little rough ? It's hard to conclude from your post. Best thing always is to ask him how he likes it.... as in get your hand on him and be brave enough to ask "is that alright"? or better still ask him to show ... (read in full...)
How and when do you go about telling a person you've recently met that you're saving sex for marriage?
Q. This is regarding the other two question here about the 24 yr old guys wanting to save sex until his wedding night. I am also a 24 yr old virgin waiting for marriage, I replied to both questions but now I have a question for them. How do you go ...
A. 13 February 2007: Well in England most men would run for the hills !!! that sort of a statement is too heavy for a first date for sure ! Why dont you just get to know him and after like lets say 5-7 dates then express your need to have sex only after marriage ? It's ... (read in full...)
Should you remain friends with your ex after they cheat on you?
Q. Should you remain friends with your ex after they cheat on you? After 4 years of being in a relationship with my girlfriend. She met a guy a work. She went out to lunch with him and kept it from me. After 2 weeks she told me about it. My girlfrien...
A. 13 February 2007: She is only offering you the "friendship card" because she feels guilty - nothing else. You must move on and put her behind you no matter how hard that seems. She's just trying to break your fall. Move on, youll find someone better in time I know ... (read in full...)
What is the secret in attracting and nice guy and having a long term relationship with him?
Q. Help! iam 19 but have never had a boyfriend. I don't think I am unattractive but I never get any guys interested in me. This is really getting me down as I feel like I want to be in a long-term relationship. How can I attract men and get a ...
A. 13 February 2007: No relationship with a man is ever going to make you happy. No long-term relationship is going to make you feel okay about yourself. The one single way of attacting men and getting a boyfriend is to get on with what you want out of life - indulge ... (read in full...)
I just gave my bf my first blowjob and it was horrible! Now he wants me to do it again-what should I do?
Q. I just had oral sex for the 1st time it was horrid and my boyfriend wants me to do it again...should i or not..im scerd if i say no he will dump me...but im in love with him and i dont want to lose him over not sucking his dick..what should i ...
A. 13 February 2007: I can only guess, from my own experience that the part that you didnt like was probably the swallowing part! If you did ? Men do love it if you do swallow, it equates for them total acceptance - but it's not easy by any means for us women, it sort ... (read in full...)
Does anyone had any tips on how to keep a guy interested in you?
Q. Hey, I have been with this guy for about 8 months now (we're 17) and generally its going ok. However, recently - hes been a little bit more distant from me and hasnt been complimenting me as much as normal. I don't thnk its that hes loosing int...
A. 25 January 2007: I personally would give him a bit of distance/space back, he could be losing interest and becoming complacent ! Or he may just be genuiely busy. But think about it for a minute, if you were as busy as hell you'd still find time for him yeah ? Get ... (read in full...)
I'm 2 months pregnant - will sex affect the baby?
Q. well i am 2 months pregnant does sex affect my baby?...
A. 10 January 2007: No I don't think so, I'd have to check, but I believe you can have sex up until around 6 months pregnant - don't quote me on that though ! I'm pretty sure okay at just 2 months.... (read in full...)
Am I bulimic like my friend was?
Q. hey.. so i hve a problem a couple of months my friend started being bulimic and she lost about a stone and a half but she started couffing up blood now shes stopped but i think im starting to be - when i eat food it always makes me feel sick and...
A. 9 January 2007: Get help fast ! This is a mental disease and it sounds very very serious and real to me ! Money shouldn't matter when it's your life at stake - which often can end up being with anorexics and bulimics! Talk to your family, anyone who will listen ... (read in full...)
She dumped me and I'm a living wreck. Please help!
Q. My girl friend broke up with me about the begining of november and i am a living wreck. i feel empty in side i just need her back and i dont know how to let her see that what really matters to her is right in front of her. We was once together for ...
A. 8 January 2007: Yes heartache really does sort of, well, ache badly! We have all obsessed and hurt over our lost loves too. You will never force someone to feel feelings for you that just aren't there, you can't make her see, she would need to see for herself and ... (read in full...)
My bad depressing 2006 is spilling over into 2007...
Q. hi all, im not sure where to start, i had a real bad year last year , so far this year is not too bad.. but i cant seem to keep my head high and a smile on my face, ive been depressed before but it doesnt feel the same..just wishing something good ...
A. 8 January 2007: Feeling depressed is not something I'm too familiar with, off days maybe or the blues, not proper depresssion. And actually the start of your message really made me laugh - not in a horrible way, but the fact you wrote "this year is not too bad so ... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex is nasty, sets double standards, and is infringing on our family life!
Q. My fiancee is scared of his ex and lets her control what and how he is when he has his son over our house (2 times per week and every other weekend). Examples, she smokes in her car and house, yet tells my fiancee that we cannot smoke in our house ...
A. 19 December 2006: This woman is obviously very controlling and I would guess insecure. You have your own children so I'm sure you can sort of relate to the behaviour. But I can also understand your fiances concerns, custody and viewing rights are often a ... (read in full...)
I'm underweight and never really hungry. Does this mean I have an eating disorder?
Q. hi. im 16 and very underweight for my age. i just never seem to be hungry so never really have proper meals. i love being thin and i love when people comment on me being thin. i don't intentionally not eat and i don't try to keep my weight low. do i ...
A. 19 December 2006: I am "supposedly" underweight for my height too. I have a very high metabolism. Some of us are born lucky and take our biological makeup from our parents. I am slightly concerned that you love people commenting on your slimness, but then again I ... (read in full...)
He broke up w/ me and said it's because I wasn't independent - but I'm not clingy at all!
Q. My man broke up with me about a month ago. He just decided he didn't love me. We are both in late 20s. I am having such a hard time not over analyzing everything I did to make the relationship go downhill. As, he has told people, he just wanted ...
A. 19 December 2006: Quiting caring will only come with time. Date other men, they are a good distraction and you never know when you're going to meet another fabulous one ! Clingy is different to independent, but maybe there were aspects of your behaviour that gave ... (read in full...)
I'm just getting to know him but I think I love him and it gets me emotional. What should I do?
Q. i am 17 years old and there is a boy the same age as me at school and i really really like him. I am just starting to get to know him properly, by talking to him more face to face and on msn. I think he is really fit and he is really funny. I think ...
A. 19 December 2006: I would imagine that you are experiencing "lust" at this moment in time rather than "love". Take more time to get to know him. Do not tell him you think you love him ! Wait for him to reveal any feelings first or you could blow it. You don't ... (read in full...)
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