A
female
age
41-50,
*oragirl
writes:OK,,, Now i have a different ?... My husband has done things that lead me to believe he has cheated..He has gone out supposedly with a friend..wont come home and wont answer his phone. I have called the friend that he is with or supposed to be with and they are not with him. One time he came home at 5 in the morn. once at 7 the next morn. One time i called his voice mail, and the friend i had just called.. left a message on his phone saying he better get over there because i was gonna come over... even came home once with his wedding ring in his pocket... What do u think?
View related questions:
wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): well done
you deserve better.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Moragirl +, writes (23 February 2011):
Moragirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey... I thank u for your answers..... I kicked his sorry ass out and am filing for DIVORCE.....asap!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Yep he is cheating.
Now what are u going to do?
Beg? Cry? Plead? Why?
If a man (or woman) has such disrespect for his partner,blatantly seems oblivious to his cheating , then why want/keep him around.
Plse decide what u have to do now. Can u kick him out and still maintain the bond?
Plse speak to close friends and family during this traumatic time in your life. You need all the love and support.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, Lark36  +, writes (20 February 2011):
I agree with anonymous who posted- "some signs to look for are he will look away and answer ,storms of ,gets grumpy and tries to make out you are in the wrong for even suggesting such a thing."
This is a telltale sign and men who are guilty use this tactic of deflection- putting the focus on YOU when you question THEM. He definately cheated. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (19 February 2011):
 He is absolutely cheating, come on you know it in your gut, not to mention the glaring signs.
It's time to let the shit hit the fan and let the chips fall where they may. First order of business is to confront him and ask him to move out. I am serious, don't put up with this shit.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): This does not sound good at all. Why is he out half the night anyway? He is a married man and you, his wife, should at least know where he is. Wedding ring in pocket? Very suspicious. You have to talk directly to him about this. He may well say you are imaging things but do not be put off. I would get him to committ to the marriage and at least not go out at night without you knowing where he is and, unless there are special cicumstances, be home at a reasonable hour. If he is cheating he will find it difficult to operate if you pin him down. Then you have to decide if you still want him anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 February 2011):
 I'd think he was cheating too...it sure sounds like it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Olicia +, writes (19 February 2011):
Hi thereYes - he's cheating. The thing that is really happening though is that he has no respect for you, which means that he doesn't love you. It also means he's not capable of love. When you're on the inside of a situation like this it's really complicated. From the outside thought - it's clear. Life, especially as a child, sets us up to be happy and expect to be treated decently - or unhappy with low expectations or being loved, respected, cherished, supported. I take it you're not abusing his trust? So why should he abuse yours? To make you worry, feel sick and anxious, feel unloved and rejected. The reason is because HE is NOT a decent man. HE is not good enough for YOU. Try not to suffer for this man. He will either be ashamed and beg your forgiveness and never do this again (unlikely) or else he should be with someone he deserves... possibly the utterly stupid woman (or women) he's going with behind your back. Let him get on with it. All he will do is abuse more women. He'll never love them sincerely unless a thunderbolt hits him between the eyes or he has a personality transplant. There are decent men out there - and there's a better life for women who have been let down by their weak and pathetic husbands. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): I tend to think he is cheating on you ,the only way you will find out for sure is to ask him to his face and watch his reaction .Many men take their wedding ring off if they're at a club, just in case they pick up. i'm not saying he did pick up, he may of just forgotten to put it back on and didn't pick up at all .You will have to ask him and watch his reaction that will tell you if he is or isnt cheating.some signs to look for are he will look away and answer ,storms of ,gets grumpy and tries to make out you are in the wrong for even suggesting such a thing.good luck .
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): I don't know what you want to hear but it's obvious he's cheating on you. Don't questioning the specifics, just know that he's gone. Whatever it is he's doing out all night, it's disrespectful. He has a girlfriend, who he's runnign around with. Whoever or whatever he's doing, it will corrupt his feelings for yout relationship and destroy his desire to stay married, intentional or not. Because whoever or whatever has already been proven, they both don't see him being married as an issue with taking off all night. Don't worry why about things like, "why her", or convince yourself you love him now more than ever. Wanting what you can't have, feeling vengeful towards the "competition". Fruitless activities. If I were in your shoes I'd anticipate that as inevitable and just focus on myself. I'd forget him. I'd bide my time, save up money, look for a better job, an apartment, all beneath his nose. Just keep him thinking he's got me fooled and he's getting away with it. Maybe occasionally I would question him, not that I would care what the answer is, but just to give him the impression I still gave a damn. If I were you I would strengthen my self esteem, safety net, financial footing and my support system. You need good friends and loyal family who have your back. Just quietly reinforce a new life with out him and when your ready, leave. Or make him leave rather. But as soon as you're over him, he may very well decide he wants you back. So get the ball rolling first, whether he knows it or not, it's easier to keep the upper hand.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): That evidence is clear as day to me. I would question him on his activities with this suspected 'friend'. Or even better tell him you found out about this other woman, (see if you could search his phone, email, etc further for information) and see if he might fess up that way. Either way, I'm so sorry to say it sounds like he might have had an affair.
...............................
|
