A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.Please, can you give me your views on this.My ex who I love every much, came over to see me last week. He was very loving and attentive. He works nights, and said that he cannot see me in the evenings, but can see me during the day. I said 'ok, we'll sort something out'. I also told him by text that I love him and always have, then called him. The call was a bit awkward, and then he said at the end 'and babe - thank you for calling me'. I have not heard from him since then. Am I to take it that he wants me back? Or I am to call him in a few weeks when he has digested the fact that I do love him (I don't think he realised before all this time, as I was pretending it was all cool that we had split). Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood news Aunty Em, Hotinlove and Ashley 187!! I have met two new guys and decided that I don;t want him back after all!! My freinds kept telling me to go out, and meet new people, so I did, and I have!! My ex has been messing me about for months,and treated me very badly, and I finally severed contact by not going on to messenger, not calling , or texting ( as I finally realised that this makes no difference what so ever, and only serves to feed his ego, and heighten my anxiety), and I now feel free and liberated for the first time in a long time, Well , I almost feel the same as I did BEFORE I met him. I am now even starting not to care if he goes off with someone else which is amazing. I still get my down periods, and think about him and feel pain, but life is certainly looking up with my two new dates, and I am going to meet more men and just have fun dating. My ex has been stringing me along for months, and now I feel emotionally ready to move on at last. I am dreading the day he calls me, (as he will in around two weeks) but am sure I will be strong enough to deal with it by then. I probably wont; even answer, but he can be evry very persistent and possesive, so I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. In a way, telling him I love him ( which I meant at the time) was the worse thing I could have said, as it has now led him into a false sense of security, as he thinks I will be 'waiting' for him forever!! I really did love him, but somehow, my love has just run out.It was almost as if saying that kind of brought it to an end for me. I was pushing the situation in order to get answers and get out for good. Anyway, onwards and upwards, and for all you out there - GET RID OF ANYONE WHO MAKES YOU FEEL BAD!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE AND CAN FIND HAPPINESS!! let's hope I am not basck on here again with a heartbreak question!!and can help others now. Thanks girls. :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am so gald I am not haovng sex with him!! When and if I do see him, and he tries. I will say ' no way Jose' not if we are not in a relationship!! it's been so long since I have had sex with him, I have forgotten what it's like!! so am not tempted, and also do not want to open myslef up again to gettting hurt, as it would kill me if I were to sleep with him, then he ignores me the next day. What made me laugh is that we split and did not see each other for three months, (we still had contact), then he tunrns up and expects me to fall stright back into his arms!! saying ' oh I can see you during the dyas tec. Cheek!! That was why I did not have sex with him, and will not have sex with him if/ when I see him again. He cannot expect to just pick up where he ;eft off. I am intruiged to know what he wnats and whyt he called back last night.. I really am. x
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reader, ashley187  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 AHHH drunk texting is such a bad bad bad idea. I've done it (not in my proudest moment) but..you really have to refrain from this! Let him call you, if he just chit chats like a friend..you will have to let it go. You may not like what he has to say..be strong. And don't ever feel like you have to beg for him back!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI must admit to being a bit confused now, as I had some wine last night, and sent him a drunken text!! I told him the same things re: love, etc, anyway, he texted back saying sorry, he could not talk as he was at work now. Then I saw a missed callback from him this morning. I have texted saying, got your call - hope to speak soon, and now i will levae it to see if he comes back. what a nightamre!! no more wine then texting... your thoughts please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand yes, Hotlove, and all OF YOU. I will let you know what happens.. i think no ansa is my ansa . I ;s killing me, and I am hurt, but I really needed to see how this guy feels, and thought it very best to tell him how I have been feeling, and no he has now dissapeared, so I get my truth .. after all. x sad but true. I am not sure I wil hear from him again, but that is better than having someon around that only half likes me right/??
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all. No, no sex happened at all!! That bit was over a long time ago. Well, three months. He knows I am not going to do the FWB thing. We tried, and it did not work for me. I;ve been pretending to be cool with the break up, but inside my heart has been huting so bad,so I thought it was time to tell him the truth. I had nothing to lose, and now he has ot answered me, but I am proud I told him, and at least I will get an answer now, or nothing ( which I suspect) and I can move on. We were very close for a couple of months, then went on holiday and met his family, then it wne weird. He was angry with me for months, and now it seems he is not. He did not even metion what I said!! it;s kind of ?? and I am hurt, but I need an answer either way. No ansa is my ansa. This guy has been in my iife for 10 months now. Not even sex for the last three. I am confused...I have not even slept with him since last cot. I love him....I guess i have to just sit tight, but since he has not said anything, i guess that's that right?xx
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reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Good girl, be strong and don't let anyone treat you badly xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Aunty Em. No , I did not have sex with him. He initiated the break up a long time ago. |Maybe it was an ego boost? x I will not contact him.x
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reader, hotinlove  +, writes (9 February 2011):
You have already made the first move with the phone call. At this point the ball is in his court. He sounds like he truly appreciated the phone call, but then again who doesnt like a little reminiscing of a happier time? Im sure the call was an ego boost for him and who doesnt like THAT? You have said the things you wanted to say, now its his turn to say the things he needs to say. If its anything worth while he Will call back, if he never calls, i feel you may not have been anything more than an ego booster to him. Best of luck, let us know how it goes!
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reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 February 2011):
When he came to see you and was all loving and attentive, I wondered if you had sex with him? If you did and he has now gone off the boil, he may have come back just for an ego boost.
I know that sounds harsh, but it doesn't make sense that he hasn't contacted you since you called him. If he loved you and wanted to be with you, wild horses couldn't drag him away.
You ound like you are very hurt and it's a dangerous situation to be in. Who initiated the break up? and what was the reason?...If he got away from you then, it's hard to imagine he would come back for any other reason apart from an ego boost.
Look at what he does, not what he says. Whether he is digesting the fact that you love him or not, he would, as a man, let nothing stop him being with you if that is what he truly wants.
Don't have casual sex with him, it won't win him back...it will just make you easy and available on demand.
Bide your time and see what happens but let him come to you and make sure he really wants you back as a girlfriend and shows commitment before you get sexual with him again.
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reader, ashley187 +, writes (9 February 2011):
Hmmm... well I wouldn't be calling him back, I would wait for him to call me at this point. How long were you together, and how long have you been broken up.. and what exactly was he doing at your house anyways? (hopefully it WASNT for sex)as I think we all make that mistake in hopes to patch things up. It sounds to me like his reply was kind of.. short and beating around the bush. He really didn't even acknowledge what you said.. kind of like he didn't want things to get weird.
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