A
female
age
51-59,
*ickm
writes:Been going out with my fella for 6 months now and we just had our first fall out - need to say sorry which i have done several times - don't know what else to dohe sent me a today to say he can't come sunday - was gutted as i only see him once a week as it is - he lives 50 miles away and works awkward shifts - i sent a text back saying i was gutted and also said i hope you are not fobbing me off (as he has let me down a few times before) it was all in the heat of the moment. And now he is upset. He said he was shocked that i thought he was fobbing me off - i apologised several times. He said, 'i will text you when i get home from work' - he never did. Now i'm really worried. Sent him another message to say sorry and no reply - dont know what else to do - help please
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Oh shit!! Im so sorry to hear that, it sounded like you had a chance with him there. I agree that there isn't much you can do, relationships are like walking on broken glass at times and it's sad when they go wrong or don't work out.
I know it's only been a 6 month thing but it will still hurt. Give him the space and don't text him. If he does ge back with his ex, then you don't need to have your nose rubbed in it. The guy obviously hasn't moved on enough from his past relationship to form a new one and that's really upsetting for you, but it happens all the time sadly, because people are impulsive and try to force themselves into new relationships instead of dealing with past pain and confusion.
The best you can do is play the saint! Cut all contact for now and focus on yourself. It's a cliche but we all know it's true : Time heals. Friends family, funtimes and confiding in someone you trust will all help get it off your chest. Don't over analyse it, because it won't help and will just drive you nuts!!
This is the time to internalise and make yourself the best you can be. Maybe he just wasn't 'the one'...and maybe 'the one' is around the next corner...stranger things have happened.
A big hug for you and keep your chin up.
AE x
A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (23 February 2011):
There's not much you can do, but give him the space he's asked you to give him. These things happen. Be thankful it was only a 6 month investment, and not 6 years.
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A
female
reader, vickm +, writes (22 February 2011):
vickm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK knew there was something wrong just got this text
"been thinking about how i feel got allsorts going on in my head i had a text from the ex about the house and after a few text back and forth she said she would always care - it made me stop and think - i just cant do this anymore i am not ready for it " - i was really upset as you can imagine he rang me after i asked him to he says he thinks the world of me and doesnt know if its over but he needs space - i asked it i can still text him he says best not to as he needs to be on his own and he isnt getting back with his ex --- now what do i do ? how can i not text him i am going to miss him so much
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A
female
reader, vickm +, writes (19 February 2011):
vickm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Em yes it was phew !! and yes he is a hardworking guy - he was self employed and now has to work long hours in a factory for not much money, he also had to move back home to his parents and has his daughter to pay for who he only sees once a week, i care for him very much and think the world of him, i do get frustrated when he can't make it as i miss him so much, it's not really possible to go to him as i dont drive and he lives with his parents, so really i have to rely on him coming here, just glad he has replied and all seems ok - will let you know and thanks for the help.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 February 2011):
Phew!!! He still cares honey, it's plain to see. He wants to come down but maybe things are a little difficult. It sounds like he has quite a few obligations and nothing in that text he sent was unreasonable. I wonder if you ever go to see him? Is that possible for you to make the trip rather than him coming to you?
You have the perfect opportunity to be the caring understanding girlfriend now...don't blow it!! Let him know that you are flexible if he needs you to be and if he really can't come, just say your dissapointed but keep it sweet and light.
If you show a little understanding, tolerance and compassion you will seriously get his attention and respect. If he doesn't come down and you can't go to him, make the weekend all about you and pamper yourself.
He sounds like a hard working guy who cares about his kids...definitely someone to be patient and tolerant for!!!
Let us know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, vickm +, writes (19 February 2011):
vickm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the replies - got a message this morning
didnt get back to last night as by the time i got home after doing overtime, had a shower and something to eat i was out for the count, there are lots of factors i have to take into account when i come down to you - you have to remember its nearly a hundred mile round trip and can be time consuming i also have othe factors like getting to work, general other things that need doing, or picking Niamh up (his daughter) some of the conditions i have come down in have been atrocious and i even came when my car was playing up, will plan on coming wed but as you know gaffer has said overtime will be available and you know i cant turn that down, fingers crossed all well for wed hope it all makes sense.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 February 2011):
He is kinda fobbing you off but it may not be the end of things. It sounds like he needs some space to work out the problem for himself.
I know you will be itching to contact him, but you must leave it alone for a while until he makes contact with you. I know how difficult that sounds but it's just the way things are with men and women.
You have said sorry, you have given him a signal that you are still interested so now you have to let him decide what he wants.
Good luck and I hope he calls you xxx
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (19 February 2011):
Let it sit for a few days and see what happens. Don't worry too much about it. People in relationships have disagreements every now and then. If they didn't, it wouldn't be much of a relationship. It's never as heavy as you think it is. Give your guy some room and see what develops. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (19 February 2011):
From his behavior, it is obvious that he is not interested in you at all. Best thing to do is to ignore him and ignore his texts. Good Luck
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